Bro you are in the same bay as me over the last few years and nearly every year I have done the same stupid thing and I blocked these feelings as the years go by and you learn and move on. As many bro will say pay fuck and leave. Enjoy the moment and when it ends, you should end it as fast as it starts. Don’t bother thinking back and move on. So every year I move on to the next adventure and you learn and experience new excitement in your life. Plenty of pussies out there and plenty of them will want your money, let your money make you happy and don’t let it fuck you and your serious relationship (if you have a family or gf) up.