Chinese Massage
Mine Host: Miko
501 King Street
Newtown
Phone: 9557 1830

Howdy Everyone,

This is a review of Vicky.

(NOTE: A Vicky I reviewed later in this thread is NOT the same lady as the latest review.)

Steven

Today started out as an adventure to try out that Korean place in Narwee that specialises in bbj with cim. Well folks we waited for an hour and a half in the coffee shop almost next door and it was no soap. They did not open up. It was starting to get hot and the dye in my hair was beginning to melt into my eyes.

With me on this day was my nephew Efrem Zimbalist Farquar. Some of you have read comments I have made before about him. He’s the only guy I know who will have a punt on his way to a punt and have another one on his way home. He is an animal.

I remember a few years ago, on a humid night, when he and my other nephew Edd ‘Kookie’ Byrnes met up in a hotel in Burwood. Kookie, as was his habit, started talking to two Thai women. Both clearly had drinking and mental health issues, (i.e. they were alcoholics and were crazier then shit), and the long and short of it is that Farquar decided to drive the three of them back to their place where presumably Kookie would share the night with the younger one. For the sake of argument let’s just call her Rambo. Anyway, I had a few turps under my belt and started walking home. Along Burwood Road I suddenly encountered Farquar who announced he desperately had to pee. The following conversation ensued:

Farquar: If I don’t find somewhere right now I’ll piss my pants.
Seagal: Go ahead. I don’t care.
Farquar; Do you think I could pee behind those bushes? (‘Those bushes’ were about 32 cm tall!)
Seagal: Sure. Why not?
Farquar: (Unloading 3 litres of piss.) Now I feel good.
Seagal: Why, because half of the free world saw your pathetic dong?

I later found out that when Kookie arrived at the girls place Rambo said she’d have sex with him, but she didn’t have any condoms. Kookie quickly ran to the local 7/11 and paid an arm and a leg for the doms. When he returned Rambo had switched all the lights out and no one answered the door. A forlorn Kookie took the packet of condoms and slipped them into their post box. It took him over an hour to walk home from their place. Ah, unrequited love is a sad thing.

Sorry I have digressed.

Well, Farquar and I decided we would go to 501 King Street Newtown. I called Miko the mamasan and she told me she had some new girls there and it didn’t matter as I hadn’t seen any of them anyway.

When we arrived I thought my bladder would bust, As soon as we opened the door to 501 I made a bee line for the john. While I was eliminating 3 gallons of amber, (that’s more than 3 litres), Farquar selected a girl named Amanda and disappeared into one of the rooms.

The remaining girl was Vicky. She looked ok, but was nothing particularly special until . . .

Let me tell you a strange thing about Vicky. Outside the room she looked fairly ordinary but on close-up inspection I thought she was a hottie. She said she was studying English and had been for several months. Based on my conversation with her it seemed more like seven minutes! Folks, you won’t be discussing epistemology, cosmology or post modern architecture with this one.

She said she is 24 and that could be right. She had B+/C- cups and flawless skin. She knows how to massage and ladies and gents her fingers felt like steel wrenches screwing my back muscles in and out of shape. There was often a little tackle tickle and she massaged from head to toe literally. At turn over time she gave a respectable you know what and extras may be for a gentleman who is a ‘gentle man.

When I finished I waited and talked with Miko until Farquar was done. Some Asian guy came in and cuddled Miko and that pissed me off because I wanted to.

As I said before: Ah, unrequited love is a sad thing.

I need to go and rinse the hair dye out of my eyes, or is it tears from never hugging Miko.

See you all again soon.

Until that time friends . . . until that time.

Steven