I have to admit I'm so much happier after the divorce. There were some terrible times...my eldest daughter 9 slipped me a note while the ex was screaming and ranting at me. Later when I read it it said "I hate you for what your doing to mummy and I hope you die." I still have it and we laugh about it now but I can tell you it hurt at the time I can remember crying myself to sleep. My middle 7 daughter would always hide under her bed crying when we were fighting, trying to calm her down and coax her out upset me as much as she was upset. I was lucky the youngest 4 was too little and doesn't remember much.
I also lost my house so now I have to rent but I'm happy the kids have a roof over their heads.

I had a very good (fuckin expensive) solicitor, turns out he teaches family law at uni, anyway, after meeting with the registrar for the first interview I was buoyed by how much I was going to get in the settlement probably 65% so I went in armed with an ultimatum for the second interview which was She can have the house and I get everything else and don't have to pay spousal maintenance. Her side asked for more I got up said to the room fuck it lets go to the judge and let him decide, I was walking towards central station when I got a call from my solicitor telling me to come back and sign the orders as she accepted. And now she's on the dole.

If you're going to go to divorce set a reasonable goal from the start and play hard ball all the way.