Married men - how are you coping?

[mattemeiser]

One positive thing that has come about after all the COVID divorces is that friends from years past have come out of the woodwork & now have much more time for catch-ups.

When those friends were married there was gradually less and less contact from the time of their wedding. It was almost like their wives were rationing the time they could spend. They now appear much more relaxed happier, healthier and less stressed. Almost like a massive weight was taken off their shoulders.

-Matt-

[GoldfishMan]

One positive thing that has come about after all the COVID divorces is that friends from years past have come out of the woodwork & now have much more time for catch-ups.

When those friends were married there was gradually less and less contact from the time of their wedding. It was almost like their wives were rationing the time they could spend. They now appear much more relaxed happier, healthier and less stressed. Almost like a massive weight was taken off their shoulders.

-Matt-

Bro, I can relate!
I can see how COVID can cause divorces. Let's face it, most women are generally much more "bossy" than men. Take the garbage out, do the dishes, clean the house, etc... Those are common orders given by them.

When men were going out to work, there was some let up in this "bossiness", but when he's WFH, there is literally zero escape. He's either working for his job, or working for the boss at home. She sees you relaxing after a hard day's work? Within minutes, she's on your case ... "Why are you not helping with the house work??".

It's tough bro. I'd rather risk my life with the COVID than put up with it any longer. Back to the office I go!

[surething91]

Bro, I can relate!
I can see how COVID can cause divorces. Let's face it, most women are generally much more "bossy" than men. Take the garbage out, do the dishes, clean the house, etc... Those are common orders given by them.

When men were going out to work, there was some let up in this "bossiness", but when he's WFH, there is literally zero escape. He's either working for his job, or working for the boss at home. She sees you relaxing after a hard day's work? Within minutes, she's on your case ... "Why are you not helping with the house work??".

It's tough bro. I'd rather risk my life with the COVID than put up with it any longer. Back to the office I go!

Do you mean when men go out to work they don't do any households tasks? What if the women also go to work?

[dotcumdotinyou]

Men do lots of household tasks, the women just don't appreciate it.

I remember when I was still married she went shopping with her sister In 3 hours I did the washing, hanged the clothes, vacuumed, mopped, put all the kids toys away, emptied the dishwasher and mowed the lawn.
When they got back she looked around and the first words out of her mouth were "you washed the colours with the whites again didn't you, even after I told you not to do that!"

[Climax598]

Men do lots of household tasks, the women just don't appreciate it.

I remember when I was still married she went shopping with her sister In 3 hours I did the washing, hanged the clothes, vacuumed, mopped, put all the kids toys away, emptied the dishwasher and mowed the lawn.
When they got back she looked around and the first words out of her mouth were "you washed the colours with the whites again didn't you, even after I told you not to do that!"

I can understand why she say that 🤣. You just can't be told or teach. When you were doing all the work your brain must be thinking of pussy.

[mattemeiser]

I can understand why she say that 🤣. You just can't be told or teach. When you were doing all the work your brain must be thinking of pussy.

What a horrible women. After all of the work you did, she looks for things to complain about. No thanks for the work you put in.

-Matt-

[mattemeiser]

An update on some of my friends:
After borders opened, it was like the horses running out of the stables for the couples to file for divorce first. Unsurprisingly it was mostly my friends (ex)wives that filed first.

Some of them got taken to the cleaners losing their houses, child support (some) and for a few luckily they didn't have kids yet as they were not too long married. Most were married under 10 years & some for only around 3. It boggles the mind when thinking that the ex partners basically earned $3-400K based on the values of the properties & assets being split & thinking of how many ML/WL sessions they could have had and still with money left over.

When we caught-up after the fact, I asked them about when the crux period was; when they weren't going to work at their relationships and they stated that it was when they were enjoying or proactively looking for or eagerly waiting until the time they could spend absent from their spouses. Away from the nagging, complaining, nit-picking, and when after all their attempts to work on things their former partners were whinging about, instead of relationship improvements or thinking the issues have generally been resolved, they (partners) found new ones to complain about.

Have seen a wide personality change between them. Some are making positive changes going to the gym, wardrobe overhall and a not give a fuck attitude hitting tinder like crazy & some need more support being down in the dumps. They said they got to a point of not caring anymore and knowing they were fighting an uphill battle that wasn't worth fighting for anymore.
Some of the wives were still attractive but didnt light a candle to their former looks. Some ballooned-up after a few kids and the ones that couldn't conceive (even with help) drifted apart and became almost estrained.

One thing that is conclusive across the board is that none of them (my friends) want to get married again. Their words: "marriage for men ended in our parents generation. There's no upside for men today. Too risky, too expensive & look at all thst I have lost."

Some that dated exclusively whites or Europeans are wanting to get their feet wet dating Asians though I have warned that women are the same regardless what race they are & others are going the extra mile & are seriously considering moving to Singapore or Thailand.

-Matt-

[mattemeiser]

Bro, I can relate!
I can see how COVID can cause divorces. Let's face it, most women are generally much more "bossy" than men. Take the garbage out, do the dishes, clean the house, etc... Those are common orders given by them.

When men were going out to work, there was some let up in this "bossiness", but when he's WFH, there is literally zero escape. He's either working for his job, or working for the boss at home. She sees you relaxing after a hard day's work? Within minutes, she's on your case ... "Why are you not helping with the house work??".

It's tough bro. I'd rather risk my life with the COVID than put up with it any longer. Back to the office I go!

The worst thing about wfm is that there is no gap or space in the day when are away from them.

Maybe its because women love gossiping, chatting, bitching & they dont have their female colleagues around so bottle it all up & whinge about you... to you.

The drama, waterworks. All takes a toll mentally for men. Not really emotionally but also a massive time-kill with no resolution.

-Matt-

[woodland]

This thread has been incredibly useful / therapeutic. It's good to know I guess that we're struggling through the same issues. Good luck to y'all. There's a lot of educated and reasonable men on this forum.

[JohnJones]

I had a friend from mainland China whose gf (also Chinese) went back to her hometown during school break just before COVID happened. Since our country had barred even international students abroad from coming back they were uncertain about the future of their relationship and whether she'd be able to get back to Sydney. Slowly their communication drifted away and they broke up. He wasn't too sad about it since he was able to punt without getting caught and was free to chat up other girls although he hadn't much success.

[GoldfishMan]

Their words: "marriage for men ended in our parents generation. There's no upside for men today. Too risky, too expensive & look at all thst I have lost."

Totally agree with this. So much has changed since that generation it makes married life a minefield for men. Plus, there are so many alternatives to married life these days, that love bug must be a love superbug to make a level-headed man want to marry a girl and be with her for the rest of his life.

[mattemeiser]

Totally agree with this. So much has changed since that generation it makes married life a minefield for men. Plus, there are so many alternatives to married life these days, that love bug must be a love superbug to make a level-headed man want to marry a girl and be with her for the rest of his life.

Men can even have families on their own, using donor eggs and surrogates to carry the children.

Its hard enough to find someone you want to spend time with then factoring-in their family members, extended families.

Have heard from one or two friends that married Filipinas that their wives are expected to send money to relatives in Philippines. With them being physically able to work but they choose not too & stating that their relatives (friend's wives are rich; only based on them living in Australia/USA) that it negates the need for them to work.

It has been the source of maritial conflict / arguments as their wives never told them this before-hand and it came as a surprise.

-Matt-

[mattemeiser]

I had a friend from mainland China whose gf (also Chinese) went back to her hometown during school break just before COVID happened. Since our country had barred even international students abroad from coming back they were uncertain about the future of their relationship and whether she'd be able to get back to Sydney. Slowly their communication drifted away and they broke up. He wasn't too sad about it since he was able to punt without getting caught and was free to chat up other girls although he hadn't much success.

At least there's an upside.

It's hard for decent guys in Aus to meet decent girls in Aus (regardless of girls backgrounds).

The smorgasbord of eligible bachelors & girls not putting effort into looks, social media giving them daily doses of endorphins from online attention alters their sense of reality.

-Matt-

[JohnJones]

At least there's an upside.

It's hard for decent guys in Aus to meet decent girls in Aus (regardless of girls backgrounds).

The smorgasbord of eligible bachelors & girls not putting effort into looks, social media giving them daily doses of endorphins from online attention alters their sense of reality.

-Matt-

My rule of thumb when it comes to dating is this:

Put a lot of effort into your own physical and mental health, and choose only those who also put similar effort in such. It is not easy to find someone we really like that is compatible but if we're not chasing them they often appear out of the blue.

Always on the lookout for red flags. If they suddenly ghost you for no apparent reason it's mainly because they either read a stupid dating advice from Reddit or had their "happily" single friends giving them bad love advice. Walk away and tell them you know what they're up to and that it is unacceptable to you.

[Bredandwine]

My rule of thumb when it comes to dating is this:

Put a lot of effort into your own physical and mental health, and choose only those who also put similar effort in such. It is not easy to find someone we really like that is compatible but if we're not chasing them they often appear out of the blue.

Always on the lookout for red flags. If they suddenly ghost you for no apparent reason it's mainly because they either read a stupid dating advice from Reddit or had their "happily" single friends giving them bad love advice. Walk away and tell them you know what they're up to and that it is unacceptable to you.

+10000000 to this. Focus on yourself first before providing for someone else. Time is money and you gotta know what you want and know when to cut your losses

[CharlieM]

It might be an idea to tell them upfront the truth that you have a $1000 a week punting habit.

[Bredandwine]

It might be an idea to tell them upfront the truth that you have a $1000 a week punting habit.

hahaha that helps too - 52k a year sheesh

[cuteguy]

hahaha that helps too - 52k a year sheesh

I'm sure there are other members here who spend more than $52,000 per year if they see many girls or those charging $500 or more per hour on a weekly basis.

[Aloscha]

Concept of marriage was a function of certain religion. A social construct. This forum itself is evidence that we aren't "designed" for monogomous relationships.

As I've grown older, the realisation that there is limited time to enjoy oneself becomes evident. All the money in the world won't help when you can't get it up anymore lol

[Pop Alexandra]

Concept of marriage was a function of certain religion. A social construct. This forum itself is evidence that we aren't "designed" for monogomous relationships.

As I've grown older, the realisation that there is limited time to enjoy oneself becomes evident. All the money in the world won't help when you can't get it up anymore lol

That's exactly what I feel. Getting older ain't no breeze from this perspective, to be sure. Hopefully we'll find closure in a sex shop or in a strip club.