Catching "feels"

[HamishAM]

Recently i have been seeing a beautiful Japanese girl who perfectly fits my ideal type. Things have escalated to a point where I'm getting everything on the menu and "more" while paying less and less. She is usually booked out on work days and enjoys spending her days off with me relaxing.

I'm definitely the type to catch feels (already have tbh) based on this behaviour but I know it won't last as she won't be in Australia very long and I have been burnt before. The fact that she hits every box in terms my type and personality doesnt help! Creating memories right now is what I'm focusing on.

Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?

[heianth]

Sounds like you answered your own question in your second last paragraph.

Walk away before you invest more into this.

Sent from my Nokia 5.1 Plus using Tapatalk

[Aphantom]

Hi Hamish,

catching the ‘feels’ is not uncommon especially with the refined Jap ones. I guess it’s what we’re all kind of hoping for, that special connection. And you’ve developed something even more. When it happens with me, my attention span is quite short so I move on after a few weeks/months at most. A bro on another site summed it up real well by saying you can always distract yourself with another WL, there’s plenty of them out there, and probably even more to your liking. Anyway it looks like you’ve been burnt before so take it easy, build up the memories and remember you’re still in the honeymoon phase.

Also, if you’re still looking for a PYT with a firm ass, PM me.

Cheers

AP

[EYA06072021]

It’s burnt as hell

[Manky010203]

Recently i have been seeing a beautiful Japanese girl who perfectly fits my ideal type. Things have escalated to a point where I'm getting everything on the menu and "more" while paying less and less. She is usually booked out on work days and enjoys spending her days off with me relaxing.

I'm definitely the type to catch feels (already have tbh) based on this behaviour but I know it won't last as she won't be in Australia very long and I have been burnt before. The fact that she hits every box in terms my type and personality doesnt help! Creating memories right now is what I'm focusing on.

Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?
Who is it? Which shop is she from?

[Meng]

Huge trouble I'd get out of that while you have your sanity.

I mean just think about all the dudes she's fucked while she works during the week. How does that make you feel?

Maybe give me her details. I'll see her and write a AR.

Anyways all jokes aside. NOT a good idea and you said you've been burnt before so you know the go. If spending more time with her is going to cause issues than I'd cut it off now before you get hurt more.

[Tickersnicker]

The fact she won't be here long gives finality to the whole arrangement.

I say enjoy it while it lasts and know it has an end date. Don't extend beyond it.

Take my advice with a grain of salt though, as one who hasn't yet been burnt by a wl or ml

[aussiegaigin]

I've dated and had relationships with dozens of Japanese girls over the years, not from this industry.

I got the same feelings; they do anything for you, treat you like a god.

But when their time is up, they pack their bags and go home, never to be heard from again. Even discussions about marriage are instantly forgotten. I've had friends who have married or de factoed them, but mostly it ended within a couple of years. They get through their PR "probation" period, and they are off; usually into the bed of a Japanese man.

Enjoy it, but don't expect it to be everlasting.

[Meng]

I've dated and had relationships with dozens of Japanese girls over the years, not from this industry.

I got the same feelings; they do anything for you, treat you like a god.

But when their time is up, they pack their bags and go home, never to be heard from again. Even discussions about marriage are instantly forgotten. I've had friends who have married or de factoed them, but mostly it ended within a couple of years. They get through their PR "probation" period, and they are off; usually into the bed of a Japanese man.

Enjoy it, but don't expect it to be everlasting.

Sounds like Japanese girls can disconnect emotionally really easily.

Is that how JAV actresses can do all those porno scenes and fucking kiss the actor passionately and forget it after the shoot.

I mean it must help with the coping process to disconnect their job emotionally.

[cuteguy]

I've dated and had relationships with dozens of Japanese girls over the years, not from this industry.

I got the same feelings; they do anything for you, treat you like a god.

But when their time is up, they pack their bags and go home, never to be heard from again. Even discussions about marriage are instantly forgotten. I've had friends who have married or de factoed them, but mostly it ended within a couple of years. They get through their PR "probation" period, and they are off; usually into the bed of a Japanese man.

Enjoy it, but don't expect it to be everlasting.

I had the same feeling too. They come to Australia to have fun, experience our lifestyle and culture and then head home. In the process they will be friends when they need you to go out and see places but when it's time to return to Japan it's sayonara (goodbye) never to speak to you again with no intention to stay in touch. If they do say goodbye then it's a real miracle but usually no goodbye.

[HamishAM]

I had the same feeling too. They come to Australia to have fun, experience our lifestyle and culture and then head home. In the process they will be friends when they need you to go out and see places but when it's time to return to Japan it's soyonara goodbye never to speak to you again and with no intention to stay in touch.

Yeah, she's provided me her LINE and been sharing photos of her and with her friends too. I've taken her out to some places in Sydney and she always pays (which is kinda nice). I have a feeling that the chatting will stop once she leaves to Japan.

[AHLUNGOR]

Here we go again !!



Hey everyone,

I'm not sure if everyone remembers my old story about chasing after a ML to become my GF. Here is the old thread.
http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?71671-What-happened-to-me-Love-or-not

All I can say after 8-9 months together was fuck I should have listened to everyone in that thread. Holy shit this past few months have been hell. Let me fill you up with some of the backstory and my stupid actions and red flags I ignored.

Part 1: What happened.

- Met ML girl
- Told me she didn't have a BF but she did
- He was abusing her and I helped her
- Helped her find a place to live and started our 'relationship'

Following on after Part 1 - I managed to help her escape from her boyfriend. We kept seeing each other and formed a 'relationship' (I say relationship like this because she says she does not believe in labels like BF/GF - this was another red flag). Every day I would pick her up and take her home, get her dinner and bring her lunch to her work because she wouldn't eat properly. We also traveled a fair bit together around Australia and Internationally (I'll get to this one soon). Everything was looking good for 6-7 months - we decided to live together so I started looking for apartments and helping her with her visa paperwork etc. We decided to go to a trip to NZ once we moved into our apartment and that's where it went all downhill. I can accept that she sells sex as a service and that she does outcalls etc. But there was one guy who she claimed was a customer...but he wasn't - she would stay over his house once a week and always meet him (Wow red flag). He was someone she met before myself and was also seeing him as a boyfriend. She played us both for 8 months and saw us both simultaneously. We both were having natural sex with her etc. In NZ, halfway through our trip he finds out that she is with me (she told him she was travelling alone and she told him that I was a customer after she was found out). He decided to fly all the way to NZ to take her from me - and he was successful. She likes guys who do dramatic actions like that in a movie and i wasn't able to stop her from seeing him. So from there our relationship was pretty much over - she moved all her things out but she wanted to stay friends with me and still have sex - but that's not what i wanted. In between all this there were many arguments with me, her and him. Eventually she had to choose and I was willing to let her come back to me once more with a fresh start (I believe in second chances but I guess i was too naive) - and she chose me. We were living happily and fine again when she moved in. But, one night she decides to see him and suddenly doesn't come home. The next day she is at my agent asking to pay the break fee on our lease and move all her things. She didn't say one word to me or look at my face - she took her things and left concluding our story together. She went from making love with me and talking happily cooking meals together to dead cold silence and systematically moving out from me. I can say I believe I was a good man to her - never hurt her, gave her freedom and took care of her. Maybe I was too kind, maybe I didn't control her enough? I'll never know but she didn't tell me why she left.

There are a lot more details to this story but this is the gist of it towards the end (all this happened within 2-3 weeks!). Now I can see all the red flags, the lying, the constant cheating with her past boyfriends etc. She was a good and caring person but she is very unstable with her behaviors and I don't believe she knows what commitment or loyalty means anymore.

I feel a little broken in terms of trust now and I really wanted to know why she suddenly decided to leave me so fast without explaining or talking but i'll never get that chance. What do you guys think? Any recommendations on how to get past all this? Thank you for reading!

If you have any questions about her feel free to leave a message or PM me for finer details.

[HamishAM]

Here we go again !!

Hahah you're not wrong! I've learnt a lot since then and that was a fucked experience.

Im definitely the type that gets comfortable with girls quickly.

[yowser]

I think you answered your own question: you have experienced it before and you know what will happen.
Enjoy it while it last, and try experiencing other girls and you will find another one.

[AHLUNGOR]

Hahah you're not wrong! I've learnt a lot since then and that was a fucked experience.

Im definitely the type that gets comfortable with girls quickly.

Mate, if you are still single then there ain’t no right or wrong, enjoy the moment, physically, sexually and emotionally till it ends then move on.

Cheers

[manu_44]

Huge trouble I'd get out of that while you have your sanity.

I mean just think about all the dudes she's fucked while she works during the week. How does that make you feel?

Maybe give me her details. I'll see her and write a AR.

Anyways all jokes aside. NOT a good idea and you said you've been burnt before so you know the go. If spending more time with her is going to cause issues than I'd cut it off now before you get hurt more.

A jap girl and leaving back soon, sounds like a girl we might know ha

[Aloscha]

Enjoy it for what it is. Just be grateful that you met her at the right time and place and create as many memories as possible - write them down if you want to. If she wants to stay in contact then fine, but it's always better to have a clean break so you can move on and enjoy the company of many more "your perfect types" in the years to come.

[MatthewSoul]

Recently i have been seeing a beautiful Japanese girl who perfectly fits my ideal type. Things have escalated to a point where I'm getting everything on the menu and "more" while paying less and less. She is usually booked out on work days and enjoys spending her days off with me relaxing.

I'm definitely the type to catch feels (already have tbh) based on this behaviour but I know it won't last as she won't be in Australia very long and I have been burnt before. The fact that she hits every box in terms my type and personality doesnt help! Creating memories right now is what I'm focusing on.

Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?

If your ideal type is more looks focus then I would recommend just enjoy the moment and let it go after.

If its about personality then maybe put a baby in her but I doubt if you can be so sure shes the one.

Nobody is really perfect and check every single boxes imo. Many fishes in the sea, dont cry over what you cannot have.

[surething91]

@HamishAM, you seem to be looking for a GF. Then why don't try meeting a girl outside of this industry?

If you keep trying to have relationship or befriend a WL/ML then it's at your own risk! I'm not saying these girls are not nice but obviously it's complicated (specially when she is just here to make money then go back to her home country and have her life there).

Come on mate, wake up!

Tip for you next time: never EVER talk to a WL/ML outside of the shop. As simple as that!

[bummer]

Recently i have been seeing a beautiful Japanese girl who perfectly fits my ideal type. Things have escalated to a point where I'm getting everything on the menu and "more" while paying less and less. She is usually booked out on work days and enjoys spending her days off with me relaxing.

I'm definitely the type to catch feels (already have tbh) based on this behaviour but I know it won't last as she won't be in Australia very long and I have been burnt before. The fact that she hits every box in terms my type and personality doesnt help! Creating memories right now is what I'm focusing on.

Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?

enjoy it while it lasts and she is still here.
She will only stay long enough as her visa or for a PR if thats what she is after.
A mate has young (half Japanese) son with him which his "EX" even left behind when she went back to Japan to see her parents (and she has now disappeared). Extreme case, but it happens.

[Climax598]

You don't know 1/3 of her life and Background. The best is don't see her many time and often so you don't have an attachment.

[OLD SNAKE]

go for it, enjoy your time together, don't be judgmental, but always play it safe and use protection,
you never know ten years down the road where she has a normal life, you might meet up in japan fall in love and get married,

[JohnJones]

Recently i have been seeing a beautiful Japanese girl who perfectly fits my ideal type. Things have escalated to a point where I'm getting everything on the menu and "more" while paying less and less. She is usually booked out on work days and enjoys spending her days off with me relaxing.

I'm definitely the type to catch feels (already have tbh) based on this behaviour but I know it won't last as she won't be in Australia very long and I have been burnt before. The fact that she hits every box in terms my type and personality doesnt help! Creating memories right now is what I'm focusing on.

Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?

Psychologically our tendencies is to project our own ideals onto others subconsciously. What we like in others is what we "think" is the right kind of person. Most of the time we're looking for a partner who's as toxic and emotionally abandoning like our own mothers.

A friend of mine can't get enough of Japanese girls and won't date girls of other ethnicities. When I asked why, he mentioned that Japanese girls have "mysterious" personalities. Turns out it's the emotional abandonment type that he's drawn into. Some of my Japanese exes were like that, I was quick to discard them as soon as they show their sour side. Like some bros here have pointed, some J girls can disappear without saying goodbye because they're good at emotional abandonment. They don't initiate "breakups" just because it is their culture to be polite and not cause fights.

This J girl you mention, she's out with you mostly because she knows that you're harmless and won't take advantage of her. At the same time she feels lonely but doesn't want a relationship. Not many J girls are prepared to have relationships with non-Japanese men, the cultural differences are too wide and parents may not approve foreign partners. Also J girls are likely to settle with foreigners only if they are non-confrontational and good at keeping the harmony.

I had seen a Japanese WL outside of her work before, years ago. We went shopping together, had dinner and spent time at her home. We'd lie on the sofa together, hugging but no sex or kissing. She only allowed it during her work not on her day off. And she specifically told me we are not in a relationship - at least "not yet". All kinds of mixed messages came from her so I decided to stop seeing her one day, and told her that I'm only going to see her again if she agrees to make our relationship official. She tells me that she can't do both relationship and WL work at the same time so that's the end of us.

Funny thing you mentioned her giving you "more and more while paying less and less". If she works in a shop then it seems that she might be giving you diamond service at standard price or she's running her own private gig. Or this might be a fantasy fiction. Anyways, can't care less if this story is fiction or real because mine wasn't. And I wouldn't waste time chasing any girl's attention or pussy because how I met my current partner taught me a lot about relationships I missed out in the past few decades - if she likes you, she treats you very well, fucks you really good and says yes immediately after asking her to be your girlfriend - she's a keeper!

I've been dating too many time wasters and I should've known better in the past decades.

[Sibon]

Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?

Let your dick lead you to where it wants you to go and enjoy every minute of the journey for tomorrow never comes again.

[GoldfishMan]

@HamishAM, you seem to be looking for a GF. Then why don't try meeting a girl outside of this industry?

If you keep trying to have relationship or befriend a WL/ML then it's at your own risk! I'm not saying these girls are not nice but obviously it's complicated (specially when she is just here to make money then go back to her home country and have her life there).

Come on mate, wake up!

Tip for you next time: never EVER talk to a WL/ML outside of the shop. As simple as that!
Hard to change someone especially if it appears to be so ingrained into their actions. As bro AHL tried to demonstrate, HamishAM is known to be a guy who takes things a bit too far with the working girls that he sees. There could be any number of reasons for this: low self esteem rendering him unable to pursue relationships outside of punting, plain laziness so he goes for the “very low hanging fruit” that comes with punting, etc… the list goes on.

It’s a shame really. Punters not having discipline like this end up burning not only themselves but the girls too. Think “biting off more than one can chew”, that’s what I’m getting at.

So I agree with bro AHL on this. If this is who you are, why fight it, go with the flow and then think about the damage later.

[HamishAM]

Psychologically our tendencies is to project our own ideals onto others subconsciously. What we like in others is what we "think" is the right kind of person. Most of the time we're looking for a partner who's as toxic and emotionally abandoning like our own mothers.

A friend of mine can't get enough of Japanese girls and won't date girls of other ethnicities. When I asked why, he mentioned that Japanese girls have "mysterious" personalities. Turns out it's the emotional abandonment type that he's drawn into. Some of my Japanese exes were like that, I was quick to discard them as soon as they show their sour side. Like some bros here have pointed, some J girls can disappear without saying goodbye because they're good at emotional abandonment. They don't initiate "breakups" just because it is their culture to be polite and not cause fights.

This J girl you mention, she's out with you mostly because she knows that you're harmless and won't take advantage of her. At the same time she feels lonely but doesn't want a relationship. Not many J girls are prepared to have relationships with non-Japanese men, the cultural differences are too wide and parents may not approve foreign partners. Also J girls are likely to settle with foreigners only if they are non-confrontational and good at keeping the harmony.

I had seen a Japanese WL outside of her work before, years ago. We went shopping together, had dinner and spent time at her home. We'd lie on the sofa together, hugging but no sex or kissing. She only allowed it during her work not on her day off. And she specifically told me we are not in a relationship - at least "not yet". All kinds of mixed messages came from her so I decided to stop seeing her one day, and told her that I'm only going to see her again if she agrees to make our relationship official. She tells me that she can't do both relationship and WL work at the same time so that's the end of us.

Funny thing you mentioned her giving you "more and more while paying less and less". If she works in a shop then it seems that she might be giving you diamond service at standard price or she's running her own private gig. Or this might be a fantasy fiction. Anyways, can't care less if this story is fiction or real because mine wasn't. And I wouldn't waste time chasing any girl's attention or pussy because how I met my current partner taught me a lot about relationships I missed out in the past few decades - if she likes you, she treats you very well, fucks you really good and says yes immediately after asking her to be your girlfriend - she's a keeper!


This was very interesting. Thanks for the write up. I definitely feel as its just friends with some benefits. We snuggle, watch movies, get UberEats, taking her to dinner this weekend etc. It's really nice and from my perspective - very enjoyable. My brain triggers and thinks "Wow I wish I had this all the time" where then I start getting the feels. I do speak quite a bit of Japanese so it helps too - but you're exactly right about the cultural differences especially with marriage and emotionally detaching.

She doesn't want me to waste money on visiting her for an hour - she wants to enjoy the time she spends with me with no time limit. I didn't want to identify if she was shop or private just to keep her identity secure.

@GoldfishMan's comments - 100% I do have some issues. When I see someone else put effort into me I do fall for them quickly (doesn't help if they are 10/10 lookswise). This could be the lack of affection i've received, self esteem etc.

There are some great comments here about creating boundaries which I think will limit the likeliness of falling for someone. I'm not saying I fall for everyone - its it they fit my love criterias (looks, personality, contribution etc.) that it then triggers early on usually.


Let your dick lead you to where it wants you to go and enjoy every minute of the journey for tomorrow never comes again.

It has taken me to places that i've never imagined.....

[JohnJones]

I'm beginning to think that this is a fantasy fiction thread.

In the old forum I remember someone wrote about a Japanese ML whom he regularly visits told him she likes him but is going back to Japan and wants him to go visit her in Japan. He also claims that he is not an Australian citizen or resident, only on a student visa and that ML knows about it but still confesses she likes him.

Sounds like something only a fiction writer can conjure from his fantasies.

With this one he says the WL gives him more and more extra services for less the price, and pays for everything during their outing.

Let me tell you one thing about Japanese girls - I have dated halfies and full Japanese girls and they don't make relationships easy. They want you to continue chasing after their affection up until they say yes to your marriage proposal. Most of them will trample on you and show their scary sides because they want you to be able to accept them 100%. They will not pay for the date, there is no such thing as splitting the bill in Japanese dating culture. And as Japan practices emotional abandonment culture like many Asian cultures, Japanese women do not tolerate crybaby boyfriends.

Also from reading OP's previous post about chasing an ML to be his girlfriend I have to say that he might be a stalker. This time he doesn't use the word "girlfriend" for this Japanese WL but from his previous post it sounds very suggestive that he is trying to "chase" this girl.

Real men don't chase girls. Real men attract, real men asks directly for relationships and real men proves that he can be a leader in the relationship. If the low class girl says no or gives him mixed messages then he should have the balls to walk away. Only betas "chase" low class girls and make up imaginary stories.

[HamishAM]

I'm beginning to think that this is a fantasy fiction thread.

In the old forum I remember someone wrote about a Japanese ML whom he regularly visits told him she likes him but is going back to Japan and wants him to go visit her in Japan. He also claims that he is not an Australian citizen or resident, only on a student visa and that ML knows about it but still confesses she likes him.

Sounds like something only a fiction writer can conjure from his fantasies.

With this one he says the WL gives him more and more extra services for less the price, and pays for everything during their outing.

Let me tell you one thing about Japanese girls - I have dated halfies and full Japanese girls and they don't make relationships easy. They want you to continue chasing after their affection up until they say yes to your marriage proposal. Most of them will trample on you and show their scary sides because they want you to be able to accept them 100%. They will not pay for the date, there is no such thing as splitting the bill in Japanese dating culture. And as Japan practices emotional abandonment culture like many Asian cultures, Japanese women do not tolerate crybaby boyfriends.

Also from reading OP's previous post about chasing an ML to be his girlfriend I have to say that he might be a stalker. This time he doesn't use the word "girlfriend" for this Japanese WL but from his previous post it sounds very suggestive that he is trying to "chase" this girl.

Real men don't chase girls. Real men attract, real men asks directly for relationships and real men proves that he can be a leader in the relationship. If the low class girl says no or gives him mixed messages then he should have the balls to walk away. Only betas "chase" low class girls and make up imaginary stories.

It's a very real situation. That's up for you to decide though.

I've dated a fair share of Japanese women and yes you are mostly right but I have also encountered Japanese women who have western sentiments such as splitting the bill - especially in this situation. Since it hasn't happened to you - doesn't mean it does not happen.

I'm not chasing her - I know she has limited time. I do have "feels" for her - but I am trying to find advice on limiting those feelings from developing and insight on how other people manage or think about them.

I don't really believe in the real men bullshit - sounds like something a 70+ year old man says to justify forceful actions and push his feelings down the ladies throat - but each to their own!

[Mickeydrippen]

This thread had many thoughtful and poignant comments. Your feeling toward another obviously has bought up many sad and joyous memories. A few softies in this forum me thinks. Perhaps it is because we breath, we live, we love. The seeming endless supply of Asian beauties will continue to undo many a lad, young and old. If your young follow your heart.

[The Sampler]

Been a similar situation, not with a Japanese girl though.

Basically from the get go I've had to compartmentalise my emotions, money and time by keeping them in check with the reality of the situation, the overall outcome and the objective of both parties involved, with a side order of cautious scepticism.

In my situation it was a young Thai ML, she gave wicked massages and part 2/3 and was smoking hot. She quickly became my favourite ML and i visited often, until one session she asked if i could drive her home since i was the last customer for the night. Went up to her unit and got to chatting and know each other better.

Long story short we started doing things outside of the shop. But in the back of my mind i knew she was going to fly back home one day and she was providing services to other men. So i really treated it as a really long GFE (1 year), nice memories were made, and when i gave her a lift to the airport that was it.

So yeah, my advice is to make those memories, feel those feelings, experience the happiness you want to feel with this girl but always know that theres an expire date on that and you have to be able to move on without getting yourself rekt when the time comes.

[JohnJones]

It's a very real situation. That's up for you to decide though.

I've dated a fair share of Japanese women and yes you are mostly right but I have also encountered Japanese women who have western sentiments such as splitting the bill - especially in this situation. Since it hasn't happened to you - doesn't mean it does not happen.

I'm not chasing her - I know she has limited time. I do have "feels" for her - but I am trying to find advice on limiting those feelings from developing and insight on how other people manage or think about them.

I don't really believe in the real men bullshit - sounds like something a 70+ year old man says to justify forceful actions and push his feelings down the ladies throat - but each to their own!

Now you sound like a gay person who once tried to make me "fall in love" with him. Yuck! Very beta, makes up 1001 stories and hates 'real men'. Almost punched the poofter in his freakin face.

Yeah I can sound like a 70+ year old man but you know what? Wisdom comes with age. My current partner would've walked away from me and I'd never see her again if I was a sissy who can't ask her to be my girlfriend directly after seeing all the signs in front of my eyes. And I'm glad I didn't end up with the Japanese WL who toyed with my feelings just because she's lonely. That's how real men are shaped - through wisdom not sucking on their dead mother's tits for the rest of their lives!

[HamishAM]

Been a similar situation, not with a Japanese girl though.

Basically from the get go I've had to compartmentalise my emotions, money and time by keeping them in check with the reality of the situation, the overall outcome and the objective of both parties involved, with a side order of cautious scepticism.

In my situation it was a young Thai ML, she gave wicked massages and part 2/3 and was smoking hot. She quickly became my favourite ML and i visited often, until one session she asked if i could drive her home since i was the last customer for the night. Went up to her unit and got to chatting and know each other better.

Long story short we started doing things outside of the shop. But in the back of my mind i knew she was going to fly back home one day and she was providing services to other men. So i really treated it as a really long GFE (1 year), nice memories were made, and when i gave her a lift to the airport that was it.

So yeah, my advice is to make those memories, feel those feelings, experience the happiness you want to feel with this girl but always know that theres an expire date on that and you have to be able to move on without getting yourself rekt when the time comes.

Thanks for sharing. That's great advice - appreciate it. I'll see if I can do something similar.


Now you sound like a gay person who once tried to make me "fall in love" with him. Yuck! Very beta, makes up 1001 stories and hates 'real men'. Almost punched the poofter in his freakin face.

Yeah I can sound like a 70+ year old man but you know what? Wisdom comes with age. My current partner would've walked away from me and I'd never see her again if I was a sissy who can't ask her to be my girlfriend directly after seeing all the signs in front of my eyes. And I'm glad I didn't end up with the Japanese WL who toyed with my feelings just because she's lonely. That's how real men are shaped - through wisdom not sucking on their dead mother's tits for the rest of their lives!

Not sure why you are so aggressive. Never said I hate "real men" - try not to put words in my mouth. You make some good points overall. The whole Alpha/Beta shit is really cringe though - bb.com shit. I do believe in taking the initiative in situations yields better results - hell a lot of girls find it attractive. In my eyes, it really depends on the chemistry and personality that changes your approach.

[Rogeryou]

Huge trouble I'd get out of that while you have your sanity.

I mean just think about all the dudes she's fucked while she works during the week. How does that make you feel?

Maybe give me her details. I'll see her and write a AR.

Anyways all jokes aside. NOT a good idea and you said you've been burnt before so you know the go. If spending more time with her is going to cause issues than I'd cut it off now before you get hurt more.

Hahahajahajahahajajjahhaaa

[Basil22]

Now you sound like a gay person who once tried to make me "fall in love" with him. Yuck! Very beta, makes up 1001 stories and hates 'real men'. Almost punched the poofter in his freakin face.

Yeah I can sound like a 70+ year old man but you know what? Wisdom comes with age. My current partner would've walked away from me and I'd never see her again if I was a sissy who can't ask her to be my girlfriend directly after seeing all the signs in front of my eyes. And I'm glad I didn't end up with the Japanese WL who toyed with my feelings just because she's lonely. That's how real men are shaped - through wisdom not sucking on their dead mother's tits for the rest of their lives!

https://media4.giphy.com/media/XWwIzh5GIWWf6/giphy.gif


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Assandlegs]

What a complete waste of time.
If you're still paying her for sex, then it can never be genuine.
Get out while the memories are still good and stop thinking with your cock.

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[sh1977]

@Assandlegs, Hey, mate
Check your message box, unable to PM to you

[sh1977]

Check your message box mate

[sh1977]

What a complete waste of time.
If you're still paying her for sex, then it can never be genuine.
Get out while the memories are still good and stop thinking with your cock.

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Hey mate
Check your message box, I’ll PM ya

[Assandlegs]

Hey mate
Check your message box, I’ll PM yaBro sh1977 ... box cleared

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[Meng]

Hahahajahajahahajajjahhaaa

Lol. Legit question to the OP. Is she a popular WL or does she work at a popular shop? Are there ARs written about her? How do you feel about her fucking other dudes?

[HamishAM]

Lol. Legit question to the OP. Is she a popular WL or does she work at a popular shop? Are there ARs written about her? How do you feel about her fucking other dudes?

Hahaha if i answer too much it's so obvious. Shes not crazy popular but definitely busy. Tbh, if you think about that a lot your mind will get fucked. I understand what she does - is it forever? No and shes mentioned that. Ultimately, no man can be okay if knowing their partner is BBBJ 10-12 dudes a day, DFK-ing, etc. Sure I get BBFS but thats not enough to cope.

[Meng]

Hahaha if i answer too much it's so obvious. Shes not crazy popular but definitely busy. Tbh, if you think about that a lot your mind will get fucked. I understand what she does - is it forever? No and shes mentioned that. Ultimately, no man can be okay if knowing their partner is BBBJ 10-12 dudes a day, DFK-ing, etc. Sure I get BBFS but thats not enough to cope.

So from the sounds of things you aren't really coping with her working? How's her spending habits? Does she like buying expensive stuff?

[tpol]

Even if she does stop for whatever reason, it will not be hard for her to get back into it

[Wok]

Sure I get BBFS but thats not enough to cope.

Sounds like you’ll have her knocked up and on a partner visa in no time haha

[Basil22]

Do you have any advice on what to do as a punter that catches feels?

In my experience, once you get to this point you’re fucked haha. There’s nothing you can do to shield yourself from the coming storm and you know it. There’s something slightly intoxicating about spending time with a WL out of work, for many reasons but mostly coz you feel like you’re special to her in a way that other punters aren’t.. you’re not, sorry!

Last year I saw a Japanese girl from one of the popular shops quite a few times. We hung out once in April outside the shop, had a really nice time, but then she proceeded to block me (we were communicating thru Insta at that point). Out of nowhere lol, it was so random and bizarre. Anyway, maybe 3 or 4 months later I saw her again in the shop and it was an awesome session. Later in the year when the shop was offering privates during lockdown I went a couple times to see her which she seemed to appreciate.
Towards the end of the year she said it was her bday coming up, and asked if I wanted to spend it with her at a particular venue ($2000/night btw and she was offering to pay). She’d been getting much more flirty but I was still pretty shocked about such an offer. I said I’d really like to but won’t be able to because of business commitments etc. She took my phone and added me on line and then proceeded to text me over the following week with some other potential dates for going to this place that she really wanted to go and stay at. I kept declining because a) I’m in a relationship and b) I’ve been through the ML/WL thing a couple times now and at this point in my life am looking for stability in my romantic relationships. I did find it quite ironic though that this beautiful and insanely sexy chick seemed genuinely to be into me when for the first time since punting I wasn’t willing to entertain the idea of a relationship. Had I met this girl a couple years ago I suspect I would have gotten my heart ripped out at some point.

Anyway, she kept asking/suggesting to go out and eat something or go do this and that, and it was getting really hard for me to control myself. So I responded one day and told her that I don’t want to spend time w her outside the shop because I tend to fall pretty easily and that right now I can’t afford for that to happen. She was like ‘lol I just asked if you wanted to go eat something but ok I won’t ask anymore’.

So we didn’t correspond for a while, then in Feb she texted me she’s moving appt and could I maybe help her move some things to the new place? (I’ve got a van) I thought yeah why not, can’t hurt can it. So I helped her move into her new place, and when I left that arvo I felt normal, but lying in bed that night I started thinking about her in a way I hadn’t before… and started imagining all these scenarios of us in different places, eating food in Japan, travelling together etc.. I realised with horror that I may have inadvertently caught feels, despite my heroic efforts not to. That fucked me up for a good couple weeks, and I could feel myself starting to lose my way again, falling into the deep hole that is opening your heart to a WL.

So, I went to 278 and had the maaaaadddest session with Dior which put me back on the straight and narrow again. Only way I’ve found to get rid of ‘the feels’ for a WL is to have great sex with another one [emoji51].

Anyway, that week or two where I was losing control, I started texting this girl a bit more to which she responded by being way more distant. Which fucked me up even more, as you can imagine. When my clarity returned, I could see that this kind of behaviour that has the punter constantly wondering what the real meaning of his relationship is with a working girl, is exactly the reason I’d decided not to get involved in that shit anymore. It’s just TOO. FUCKING. HARD! It should also be mentioned that the other reason not to get involved with a WL is that there are two hearts with the potential to be broken but we often only think of the one. And in my limited (but very over-analysed) experience, many WLs are like panes of glass full of spider cracks. Often they’re super fragile, and at constant risk of shattering.

I used to be able to understand and accept their work (when I’d been romantically involved with them) but nowadays, whilst I don’t judge them whatsoever I do think there’s gotta be something really broken in a girl to be able to do this kind of work day in day out. The emotional detachment you’d have to develop would be insane. (Side note: I remember one day ages ago I gave K Ivy a lift to work @ Ginza. We were at the traffic lights opposite Ginza waiting to cross Cleveland, and were mid conversation when she just stopped talking. I looked over at her and she had her head tilted on an angle with the strangest expression on her face. Mixture of fear and confusion but also somehow blank at the same time. It looked like she’d totally disassociated from reality for that moment or maybe like in preparation to start work. It was a really disturbing thing to witness and I remember thinking a) these girls must really be so fucking broken and b) there’s no way they could TRULY love a punter

Sorry about the long read without much of a moral to the story, guess I needed to get it all out lol. To the OP if you do take anything from the above, make it to go see Dior at 278. Thank me later! But I suspect you’re already tumbling down the rabbit hole of WL love, too far down to climb out again. Good luck and see you on the other side bro!


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[GoldfishMan]

Sorry about the long read...
What are you sorry for? That was a great read, bro.
You are absolutely right that girls' frame of minds must be really in a bad state to be doing this work. To get involved with any girl, not just WLs, you also have to take on their mental burden. As the saying goes, they have "too much baggage", and in their case it's amplified x100.

[blackpearl]

Hi Hamish,

catching the ‘feels’ is not uncommon especially with the refined Jap ones. I guess it’s what we’re all kind of hoping for, that special connection. And you’ve developed something even more. When it happens with me, my attention span is quite short so I move on after a few weeks/months at most. A bro on another site summed it up real well by saying you can always distract yourself with another WL, there’s plenty of them out there, and probably even more to your liking. Anyway it looks like you’ve been burnt before so take it easy, build up the memories and remember you’re still in the honeymoon phase.

Also, if you’re still looking for a PYT with a firm ass, PM me.

Cheers

AP

Bro , would you mind PM me the details of the PYT with firm ass ? :)

[gundamsux]

ThatÂ’s a great read @Basil22. Thanks for sharing.

In my experience chatting to WLs, some are really good at detaching themselves from their work. And some are totally broken inside. Sex work takes a big toll on the mind and body and the only compensation is a bit of money, which isnÂ’t a lot, apart from the high end escorts.

Most do feel shame and thatÂ’s why girls donÂ’t put photos online, and they come to Australia to work instead of working at home just so nobody would know their past. But the truth is they know what they have done and scars will be there forever. They can never tell a secret to anyone important in their lives.

Any girl who has done sex work will develop trauma. Those who seem to cope okay are usually the ones who already had trauma in the past (ironically they are the most fÂ’ed up) For them to trust and truly love someone is almost impossible unless they have some therapy. Intentionally or unintentionally THEY WILL HURT YOU. So dont get yourself involve with WL who are still working. Enjoy your hour of fun then back away.

[1inchguy]

What do you guys do when wl/ml ask for your number, do you politely refuse?

[Aphantom]

What do you guys do when wl/ml ask for your number, do you politely refuse?
If I’m likely to see them again I’ll give them my WeChat. Some can get a bit clingy but never really had a problem.
What about the other way round? Have you ever asked an ML/WL for her Wechat and got knocked back? I haven’t yet but imagine it could happen too

[BerasAsing]

Thought better of this post.

[BerasAsing]

Original post perhaps uneccesarily provocative. B

[Wotan]

Oh what a tangled web we weave.

[rooter]

its a business transaction nothing more or less

It is bro. I have said it 100 times on this Forum. My mantra is Pay. Fuck. Leave.
But if you treat it like a transaction while you are doing it you will get only 30% of the possible pleasure.
We should never shut off our emotions. To do that would be to deny ourselves the pleasure and privilege of being human.
Follow you cock, follow your heart, follow your feelings and enjoy!
But at the end of the day let the big man upstairs take control and switch off.
If you are a sucker that follows his heart and feelings then punting will burn you.
If you try to be a hard cunt and be cynical and deny your feelings then you will just get the minimum possible benefit from punting and be a sad bitter twisted sad pathetic cunt.
But if you really want to get the most out of punting then you need to learn how to switch on and enjoy and then go home and switch off. This is the secret to beautiful punting.

[Miclop]

It is bro. I have said it 100 times on this Forum. My mantra is Pay. Fuck. Leave.
But if you treat it like a transaction while you are doing it you will get only 30% of the possible pleasure.
We should never shut off our emotions. To do that would be to deny ourselves the pleasure and privilege of being human.
Follow you cock, follow your heart, follow your feelings and enjoy!
But at the end of the day let the big man upstairs take control and switch off.
If you are a sucker that follows his heart and feelings then punting will burn you.
If you try to be a hard cunt and be cynical and deny your feelings then you will just get the minimum possible benefit from punting and be a sad bitter twisted sad pathetic cunt.
But if you really want to get the most out of punting then you need to learn how to switch on and enjoy and then go home and switch off. This is the secret to beautiful punting.

Wise words...
One can learn from that...

[Aloscha]

If I’m likely to see them again I’ll give them my WeChat. Some can get a bit clingy but never really had a problem.
What about the other way round? Have you ever asked an ML/WL for her Wechat and got knocked back? I haven’t yet but imagine it could happen too

I remember asking one popular WL at a well known shop and she refused since it was the first time meeting each other. By the second meet, I had her number and she had suggested a out of shop 'dinner date'. Everything went well for dinner and she even suggested she might invite me over for a meal. But then, while organising for the next meet, she blocked all communications. Seems she left the industry as well so in the end, I think it was a wise move for both our sakes.

[BlackToad]

It is bro. I have said it 100 times on this Forum. My mantra is Pay. Fuck. Leave.
But if you treat it like a transaction while you are doing it you will get only 30% of the possible pleasure.
We should never shut off our emotions. To do that would be to deny ourselves the pleasure and privilege of being human.
Follow you cock, follow your heart, follow your feelings and enjoy!
But at the end of the day let the big man upstairs take control and switch off.
If you are a sucker that follows his heart and feelings then punting will burn you.
If you try to be a hard cunt and be cynical and deny your feelings then you will just get the minimum possible benefit from punting and be a sad bitter twisted sad pathetic cunt.
But if you really want to get the most out of punting then you need to learn how to switch on and enjoy and then go home and switch off. This is the secret to beautiful punting.

Bro rooter, as always you are one of the most thoughtful punters on the forum. These are words every punter must hear and abide by. Listen to your heart but know that your mind is in control. Personally I have never fallen for a ML or WL, many I have liked and it’s like only natural to feel a connection with but love - never. That’s the way to punt.