A cautionary tale.....infatuation?

[Abracadabra]

I was was comfortable I had most of Fred Flinstones rules of punting covered in his recent post....but it wasn't always the case.

10 years ago while living in Asia my judgement, rationality and logic went out the window and it has always surprised me how easy I lost it and couldnt recover it.

Briefly I was livng in Asia enjoying the BMD bar scene, flirting and fondling with the girls, inc regulars, most nights of the week, in return for buying expensive drinks and maybe 2 or 3 times a month visiting a short term motel with one of them. It was a good life ..... the girls were quite classy and I enjoyed their company.

One night a new girl sashayed her way in my direction, all 178cm and elegance personified, black dress on the knee. wrists angled at 90deg and when she asked if she could join me that was the beginning of 18 mths of wonderful times but eventually madness in which my world came crashing down.

I won't go into details of her as it would take too long, but I doubt i was pussy struck as may be thought, maybe in love , but doubt it, but she was an incredibly intoxicating woman with wonderful personal qualities, mannerisms and behaviours, all wrapped up in a supermodels body.....and there was competition for her.

What still disturbs me is that I did things and took decisions in that 18 months that were out of character and which I still don't fully comprehend.

My rationality, logic and judgement all deserted me and it still surprises me that I couldn't arrest what was happening and snap back to reality.

Infatuation?....maybe.
Irrationality? ....definitely
Competition for her? ....perhaps ( the French guys in the bar went apeshit over her.

[Nelly69]

mate, I just read about nothing...

If you want to share something share it, but feels like I am reading a riddle.

[Abracadabra]

mate, I just read about nothing...

If you want to share something share it, but feels like I am reading a riddle.

Some will relate Nelly, some won't.

Just take a pass mate...

[Daffy]

Been there myself before and am probably in the same spot now with a WL I really like. I keep telling myself I’m completely in control but I keep making excuses to go see her. Don’t want to see anyone else.

It kind of sucks getting the feels for someone even when you know it is completely one sided

[JohnJones]

Your attachment is your ultimate undoing. Many people were brought up to impress people or risk being alienated therefore following in the footsteps of their narcissistic parents or carer.

I had known an idiot once who was already married with two kids, and was hurt when a girl he attempted to convert into his mistress rejected him.

If that WL serves no emotional connection to you and is just another cum dumpster, go fuck another cum dumpster. Women are attention worthy only if they genuinely connect with you emotionally.

[Fred Flintstone]

Yes I get it. You’ve got to ask yourself “why would a super hot chick be interested in me?” Often the super sexy, tall slim ones are more trouble than they are worth and you will attract too much attention being seen with them. On a beauty scale, I lean more towards Quasimodo than to Idris Elba. You could say I’ve been hit with the ugly stick. Therefore, I will never chase the hottest girl in the bar as it just looks stupid. Locals will also get jealous. Best to keep a low profile overseas.

Everyone can behave irrationally. Just like gambling, buying sports cars, boats etc. As long as you learned your lesson, just move on.

[rooter]

Pay. Fuck. Leave.
Just follow this golden rule and you will never be fucked up.
But remember. Pay. Fuck Leave does not mean being hard or a misogynist or an incel or a red pill Nancy boy loser, no, quite the opposite, Pay Fuck Leave means controlling you emotions, going in head first and dick first and giving all your heart and soul, and enjoying the pleasure that brings in that moment, and then being strong enough to switch off shut down and get on with life ...

[Abracadabra]

Pay. Fuck. Leave.
Just follow this golden rule and you will never be fucked up.
But remember. Pay. Fuck Leave does not mean being hard or a misogynist or an incel or a red pill Nancy boy loser, no, quite the opposite, Pay Fuck Leave means controlling you emotions, going in head first and dick first and giving all your heart and soul, and enjoying the pleasure that brings in that moment, and then being strong enough to switch off shut down and get on with life ...

Solid advice Rooter.

I'd been punting 15 years across various countries at the time this occurred.

Knew the rules, knew the game ....until I didn't!

[Abracadabra]

Happened to me in my late 20s in Sydney....Caucasian trophy glamour
Man she was high maintenance
My dignity and self respect were stolen
She overstepped the mark one night when we were at dinner with friends
The spell was broken
First time anyone had ever broken up with her
She became a lunatic stalker
Has happened to a lesser extent with two working girls
The irrationality reared it's ugly head again couple of months ago with a gorgeous korean girl
I recognised the signs and slapped myself
The most passionate fuck I've ever had....and I've had a few
Self respect and dignity are something a hard erect cock buried up to the balls in a silk pussy doesn't understand

Actually LV the ease with which I handed over my powers of rationality and logic at the time was astonishing when I came out the other side.....still is!

[ditchtheboss]

It happened to me twice, there won't be a third time. I have learned my lesson. Having said that, for those of us who got caught in the emotions, and had them reciprocated in one way or another, it is quite refreshing to punt and see it for what it is. Enjoy the moment, enjoy the girl, enjoy the action then walk away with the satisfaction that you have had your needs met, most of the time, you treated someone well, respected her limits and had a good time.

[asiafever]

Hindsight is always 20/20.
I think a majority here would have had the same happening, with a wl/ml or out in the real world. I mean, I can certainly relate. I even knew it was happening at the time, but was already in too deep.
As long as you learn from it and recognise the signs if it starts happening again, then all good. That's what life is, a learning experience.

[ditchtheboss]

Hindsight is always 20/20.
I think a majority here would have had the same happening, with a wl/ml or out in the real world. I mean, I can certainly relate. I even knew it was happening at the time, but was already in too deep.
As long as you learn from it and recognise the signs if it starts happening again, then all good. That's what life is, a learning experience.

Agree, I have learned my lessons. I have fond memories but it is not worth it. To punt and see it for what it is makes it a far better experience in my opinion but as you say it, it has the benefit of the experience. No regrets just lessons learned

[Axeman123]

Just take some time to take ourselves back to the beginning. When shagging young ladies was shagging someone our own age. We didn't give a toss. It was an adventure to be had,a carnal highway. That was punting.

[GoldfishMan]

I think it's all about self-esteem. If you have low self-esteem, you would think very lowly of your own prospects of getting it on with a hottie. So when you punt, you have a hottie right there in front of you whom you've been intimate with (because you paid for it, but of course you're not gonna think about THAT). It's a low hanging fruit, for sure you will be tempted to get something more out of it.

And I tell ya, girls have a sixth sense. They know when we're weak. That's when they turn on the charm. Maybe not always with malicious intent, but it's all a very fluid situation let's put it that way.

My suggestion is to build your self-esteem. Groom yourself, clad yourself in nice new clothes, by all means make yourself attractive to the opposite sex. You don't have to end up shagging every hottie on the street. Even a small compliment can go a long way to boosting your self-esteem.

It really depends on where you are in life. I've personally never had the "pleasure" of falling for a working girl. The moment I release, that's when the serotonin kicks in and I just want to GTFO.

[Abracadabra]

Happened to me in my late 20s in Sydney....Caucasian trophy glamour
Man she was high maintenance
My dignity and self respect were stolen
She overstepped the mark one night when we were at dinner with friends
The spell was broken
First time anyone had ever broken up with her
She became a lunatic stalker
Has happened to a lesser extent with two working girls
The irrationality reared it's ugly head again couple of months ago with a gorgeous korean girl
I recognised the signs and slapped myself
The most passionate fuck I've ever had....and I've had a few
Self respect and dignity are something a hard erect cock buried up to the balls in a silk pussy doesn't understand

Don't spose you'd share who the K girl was LV?😊

[youngheart]

Pay. Fuck. Leave.
Just follow this golden rule and you will never be fucked up.
But remember. Pay. Fuck Leave does not mean being hard or a misogynist or an incel or a red pill Nancy boy loser, no, quite the opposite, Pay Fuck Leave means controlling you emotions, going in head first and dick first and giving all your heart and soul, and enjoying the pleasure that brings in that moment, and then being strong enough to switch off shut down and get on with life ...

Some of the best advice here !
Friend has been blindsided by ML. She appears not interested but accepted his "donations". I have no blame for her, she has discouraged him but accepted his infatuation.
I think she has left the industry permanently or at least for a while but I saw this friend recently and can see he still has deep feelings for this ML. I always thought he was mad, and she was just using him. Now I am not so sure. I don't really know their status together but now I could them as best of friends and possibly "best fuck buddies". Thinking, I wish I had someone like her to have as a friend even just to regularly cuddle up to.

[Sibon]

I was was comfortable I had most of Fred Flinstones rules of punting covered in his recent post....but it wasn't always the case.

10 years ago while living in Asia my judgement, rationality and logic went out the window and it has always surprised me how easy I lost it and couldnt recover it.

Briefly I was livng in Asia enjoying the BMD bar scene, flirting and fondling with the girls, inc regulars, most nights of the week, in return for buying expensive drinks and maybe 2 or 3 times a month visiting a short term motel with one of them. It was a good life ..... the girls were quite classy and I enjoyed their company.

One night a new girl sashayed her way in my direction, all 178cm and elegance personified, black dress on the knee. wrists angled at 90deg and when she asked if she could join me that was the beginning of 18 mths of wonderful times but eventually madness in which my world came crashing down.

I won't go into details of her as it would take too long, but I doubt i was pussy struck as may be thought, maybe in love , but doubt it, but she was an incredibly intoxicating woman with wonderful personal qualities, mannerisms and behaviours, all wrapped up in a supermodels body.....and there was competition for her.

What still disturbs me is that I did things and took decisions in that 18 months that were out of character and which I still don't fully comprehend.

My rationality, logic and judgement all deserted me and it still surprises me that I couldn't arrest what was happening and snap back to reality.

Infatuation?....maybe.
Irrationality? ....definitely
Competition for her? ....perhaps ( the French guys in the bar went apeshit over her.

Please write a book about it.

Many would put a deposit to buy the first run of prints.

[Abracadabra]

Please write a book about it.

Many would put a deposit to buy the first run of prints.

I'm assuming you are taking the piss Sibon.

But on the remote chance you arent, it would make interesting and unfortunately, cringeworthy reading I can tell you that, coz I lived it!

However, you'd all see what a goose I made of myself!

[rooter]

Solid advice Rooter.

I'd been punting 15 years across various countries at the time this occurred.

Knew the rules, knew the game ....until I didn't!

We are only human bro.
It's easy to say shit but when the situation arises and the feels take over any man can lose the plot.
"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" as Jesus said - or in our case it's probably more like "the spirit is willing but the flesh is hard" :)

[Axeman123]

I'm assuming you are taking the piss Sibon.

But on the remote chance you arent, it would make interesting and unfortunately, cringeworthy reading I can tell you that, coz I lived it!

However, you'd all see what a goose I made of myself! Calling yourself out on a mistake..,.you get my vote. Fuck knows I've made a few . Reading between the line I think I can recognise myself a little.

[Beergut]

Me too.... Wish I had the sight of gurrumul yunupingu and stevie wonder

[Axeman123]

I was was comfortable I had most of Fred Flinstones rules of punting covered in his recent post....but it wasn't always the case.

10 years ago while living in Asia my judgement, rationality and logic went out the window and it has always surprised me how easy I lost it and couldnt recover it.

Briefly I was livng in Asia enjoying the BMD bar scene, flirting and fondling with the girls, inc regulars, most nights of the week, in return for buying expensive drinks and maybe 2 or 3 times a month visiting a short term motel with one of them. It was a good life ..... the girls were quite classy and I enjoyed their company.

One night a new girl sashayed her way in my direction, all 178cm and elegance personified, black dress on the knee. wrists angled at 90deg and when she asked if she could join me that was the beginning of 18 mths of wonderful times but eventually madness in which my world came crashing down.

I won't go into details of her as it would take too long, but I doubt i was pussy struck as may be thought, maybe in love , but doubt it, but she was an incredibly intoxicating woman with wonderful personal qualities, mannerisms and behaviours, all wrapped up in a supermodels body.....and there was competition for her.

What still disturbs me is that I did things and took decisions in that 18 months that were out of character and which I still don't fully comprehend.

My rationality, logic and judgement all deserted me and it still surprises me that I couldn't arrest what was happening and snap back to reality.

Infatuation?....maybe.
Irrationality? ....definitely
Competition for her? ....perhaps ( the French guys in the bar went apeshit over her. Sometimes I think it's intrigue that gets us and that can be a force that pulls you inadvertently into troubled waters.

[ditchtheboss]

Sometimes I think it's intrigue that gets us and that can be a force that pulls you inadvertently into troubled waters.

It happened twice to me. My mind/reason regrets it both times but I have great memories.

Both times for me happened with a strong connection in the very first visit. Strong sexual and personality connection. Both times I walked out with their phone numbers that the my offered to me and they contacted me.

There is a strong pull as you say when this connection happens. It is hard to resist a gorgeous woman 10 or so years your junior chasing you, inviting you to dinners, etc… There is also a bit of punter pride I would say when guys see you in restaurants, walking around town with their arms around you and you notice them staring.

All together is a disaster in the making for both parties. Never again for me.

[bdjc]

Your attachment is your ultimate undoing. Many people were brought up to impress people or risk being alienated therefore following in the footsteps of their narcissistic parents or carer.

I had known an idiot once who was already married with two kids, and was hurt when a girl he attempted to convert into his mistress rejected him.

If that WL serves no emotional connection to you and is just another cum dumpster, go fuck another cum dumpster. Women are attention worthy only if they genuinely connect with you emotionally.
totally agree with you!

[Rogeryou]

Pay. Fuck. Leave.
Just follow this golden rule and you will never be fucked up.
But remember. Pay. Fuck Leave does not mean being hard or a misogynist or an incel or a red pill Nancy boy loser, no, quite the opposite, Pay Fuck Leave means controlling you emotions, going in head first and dick first and giving all your heart and soul, and enjoying the pleasure that brings in that moment, and then being strong enough to switch off shut down and get on with life ...

Agree that’s my approach

[Rogeryou]

Pay. Fuck. Leave.
Just follow this golden rule and you will never be fucked up.
But remember. Pay. Fuck Leave does not mean being hard or a misogynist or an incel or a red pill Nancy boy loser, no, quite the opposite, Pay Fuck Leave means controlling you emotions, going in head first and dick first and giving all your heart and soul, and enjoying the pleasure that brings in that moment, and then being strong enough to switch off shut down and get on with life ...

Agree thatÂ’s my approach

[bdjc]

as you get older, and wiser, it should become apparent that any serious relationship means living together and dealing with all sorts of household chores, conflicts, differences. At best, you manage to learn to live with each other's idiosyncrasies without getting into an argument every day. For a punter and a sex worker, the chance of being distrustful is much higher.

My rule is that, if you have a big wallet, see the hottie as often as possible, enjoy every moment of it. But don't even think about a long term relationship with a sex worker.

[AJJ]

I been there and done that....
Would definitely not recommend for good mental health. Especially if your partner is mentioned on these pages... Took a long while to get over but now just follow the 3 F rules that others have mentioned...
Find Them
Fuck Them
Forget Them...
Then live a normal life...

[Tarquin]

This thread provides very useful advice. Thank you.

[ColesBag]

It happens. No judgement here.

As they say, better to be a fool for 5 minutes than a fool for life. Live & learn.

[DrBean]

Perhaps try and limit the number of meets with any one girl?

[Double_Adapter]

Rooters Pay, Fuck, Leave (PFL ) formula underpinned by a SWITCH ON/OFF mindset is a superb framework but one that requires testicular fortitude (a trait that is lacking amongst many punters).

If I were to add anything to that formula it would be Pay, Fuck, Leave, & Forget. Which might explain why some punters won't see the same lady more than 2 times ie as to avoid emotional attachments, getting the feels, pair bonding, hookups outside the shop, white knighting, acts of jealousy etc

[Beergut]

Sounds familiar...