Getting away with it

[Magma]

So maybe I am overthinking this but how does everyone get away with it?

A couple of times I have seen RNT places when blind drunk with big nights out but my partner notices my scent when I get home and it has raises suspicions. I took a shower when I got home once and it made the suspicions even worse.

How the hell do you deal with that? She knows all my friends and pretty much knows what I am up to all the time. I am probably an extra paranoid person which doesn't help the situation.

I mean yeah I can get away with making the odd time here and there but taking a shower the second I get home is suspicious. Only so many times I can do that.

[GoldfishMan]

Maybe you can start to really make showering after-work a part of your daily habit. Just give some excuse, like someone told you (don't say you read it or she'll ask you for the proof!) your current usual shower time is not a healthy habit, etc.

And best to start this when you haven't just gone punting so you don't give anything away due to guilt!

[cplurt2]

Get a gym membership and work out either before or after it.

[pysterio]

Cut down on punting and be more selective on days where you know you can shower etc or pick a place with a shower . Go have some food after and spill it on yourself even

[CFH]

well, it helps if you're a believable liar.

[TheMural123]

Is it the oil that smells?

[Sibon]

So maybe I am overthinking this but how does everyone get away with it?

A couple of times I have seen RNT places when blind drunk with big nights out but my partner notices my scent when I get home and it has raises suspicions. I took a shower when I got home once and it made the suspicions even worse.

How the hell do you deal with that? She knows all my friends and pretty much knows what I am up to all the time. I am probably an extra paranoid person which doesn't help the situation.

I mean yeah I can get away with making the odd time here and there but taking a shower the second I get home is suspicious. Only so many times I can do that.

You can come to my house and have a shower before going home.

I only charge you the soap. The water is free.

[bleekpit]

So maybe I am overthinking this but how does everyone get away with it?

A couple of times I have seen RNT places when blind drunk with big nights out but my partner notices my scent when I get home and it has raises suspicions. I took a shower when I got home once and it made the suspicions even worse.

How the hell do you deal with that? She knows all my friends and pretty much knows what I am up to all the time. I am probably an extra paranoid person which doesn't help the situation.

I mean yeah I can get away with making the odd time here and there but taking a shower the second I get home is suspicious. Only so many times I can do that.

what's wrong with getting a massage? just tell her. i'm sure it will be fine

[GoldfishMan]

what's wrong with getting a massage? just tell her. i'm sure it will be fine

You can do this if you actually do have a legit place that you go to and you alternate between going there and the RNT place. Otherwise you'll be in trouble when she says she wants to go there with you.

[rooter]

"Getting away with it". I am torn between whether the Electronic or James song is better.
Both brilliant.

[Magma]

Is it the oil that smells?

Don't know, she has some super sense of smell or something.

[Magma]

Maybe you can start to really make showering after-work a part of your daily habit. Just give some excuse, like someone told you (don't say you read it or she'll ask you for the proof!) your current usual shower time is not a healthy habit, etc.

And best to start this when you haven't just gone punting so you don't give anything away due to guilt!

I do need to get back into the gym a lot. I used to go 2 times a day and for extended period so I guess that all works and I would just shower when I got home.

I guess the guilt thing is major with me, maybe I am just not built for it.

[LBW1959]

This may be a new issue for me now. Just retired from the workforce, used to be able to organise a good R&T session during the workday, but difficult to explain a couple of hours disappearance now! Maybe going to practice my golf swing on the driving range?? Would need to have that shower to freshen up after all that golf exercise!

[RodgHerMoore]

! Maybe going to practice my golf swing on the driving range?? Would need to have that shower to freshen up after all that golf exercise!

That's a totally factual statement that wpuld pass a lie detector... But you ARE practising your "swing" using your "putt" to try and get a "hole" in one! :D

[aussiegaigin]

That's a totally factual statement that wpuld pass a lie detector... But you ARE practising your "swing" using your "putt" to try and get a "hole" in one! :D

You'd be trying to get "one in a hole" LOL.

[punther]

I think it's the pheromones of another woman she smells. Sounds like your partner has strong intuition - nope, you can't get away with it! lol

[Daffy]

You can come to my house and have a shower before going home.

I only charge you the soap. The water is free.

Why do I feel like I’d end up on a website.

Taking up the Gym or swimming would be a good excuse. It could even be coming home smelling clean that’s the give away

[frank.huang.ak]

This may be a new issue for me now. Just retired from the workforce, used to be able to organise a good R&T session during the workday, but difficult to explain a couple of hours disappearance now! Maybe going to practice my golf swing on the driving range?? Would need to have that shower to freshen up after all that golf exercise!

develop more hobbies for retired life, bush walking, fishing, bowling etc. Use some of the slot for your other hobby.

[krnboy]

Tread carefully. Most women can smell things us men cannot.

The worst is when the ML/WL uses strong cheap perfume and it lingers on you or cheap lipstick smeared on you, then you're fucked.

Be careful, that is all I can say.

[PKING2]

This may be a new issue for me now. Just retired from the workforce, used to be able to organise a good R&T session during the workday, but difficult to explain a couple of hours disappearance now! Maybe going to practice my golf swing on the driving range?? Would need to have that shower to freshen up after all that golf exercise!

Fishing is one of the best excuse. Because it takes time (easily you can go 3 hours 4 hours fishing and people still believe in you)and you will have plenty excuse to not bringing the catch home. Even better when you first start make those excuse. Go punting and then drive to nearest beach. Splash sea water here and there to your clothes, and it is a good one as well to masking the smell if your wife has a good nose , go home and said something "hon, I didn't catch anything today, so hard"

After a while you can use
1. No fish because of windy
2. No fish because all undersized
3. No fish because crowded
4. No fish because plenty boat traffic
Etc etc

But you need to learn how to fish to make it believable, that's the price.

[FreyaFan]

"Getting away with it". I am torn between whether the Electronic or James song is better.
Both brilliant.

Didn't know the James song, and turns out it is pretty good, but that Electronic track is amazing.

[RodgHerMoore]

You'd be trying to get "one in a hole" LOL.

Try not to grin when she asks if you got it in 1 shot or 2 :D she'd get suss if you were really happy about 2!!!

I like the fishing idea better. Golf is fraught with danger.

[Aphantom]

Try not to grin when she asks if you got it in 1 shot or 2 :D she'd get suss if you were really happy about 2!!!

I like the fishing idea better. Golf is fraught with danger.
Don’t forget the back 9 !! Lol

[1inchguy]

Punt at places that has a shower, byo soap or something.

[LBW1959]

You'd have to wipe some squashed prawns on your hands so that it smells like you've been handling bait.

[Hidden Python]

I use to cheat behind my wife’s back when she was alive, and i always felt guilty afterwards because i loved her so much but I wasn’t sexually satisfied,
When she was diagnosed with cancer i threw out all my bad habits and focus on her over her last 4 years, trying to be the best husband ever, but when she passed, all the guilt hit me all at once, and now i have to live with it for the rest of my life, because i was too gutless to kill myself even thow i wanted to die many times over,
So if you love your wife, try to fix your bedroom problems, spice things up with some toys, learn massage together on line and practice on each other, because that guilt is a real bastard to deal with.

[Johnisfun1969]

I use to cheat behind my wife’s back when she was alive, and i always felt guilty afterwards because i loved her so much but I wasn’t sexually satisfied,
When she was diagnosed with cancer i threw out all my bad habits and focus on her over her last 4 years, trying to be the best husband ever, but when she passed, all the guilt hit me all at once, and now i have to live with it for the rest of my life, because i was too gutless to kill myself even thow i wanted to die many times over,
So if you love your wife, try to fix your bedroom problems, spice things up with some toys, learn massage together on line and practice on each other, because that guilt is a real bastard to deal with.

Hey that’s terrible. But that’s how most people have been brought up believing in monogamy and purity of marriage. What about because you were able to satisfy your physical needs you were a better partner. You were able to play the role of a loving and responsible husband, take care of the family. The other way it could have panned out would be yiu coukd have got yourself in an extra marital affair and that would have cost more.

I would say feeling guilty for the choices you made at the time is ok. But don’t discount that you were a loving husband, partner and you spent 4 years supporting and looking after her. There are so many men out there who walk out on their family for one reason or the other. Look at how your actions may have helped save or improve your marriage. You seem to be a good man so at least give yourself that credit.

[LBW1959]

I use to cheat behind my wife’s back when she was alive, and i always felt guilty afterwards because i loved her so much but I wasn’t sexually satisfied

Curious how for a man it's usually easy to be able to separate sex and love, while for most women the two seem to be inseparable.
I find myself in the same situation as Python, but still with my wife. I love her dearly but we're well past the passions of youth and she's never had anywhere near as strong libido as me even in the early days.
Strangely, I feel some guilt if I fuck a WL, but I don't feel guilty at all when visiting a ML and not actually having FS. I guess that's why I only go for R&T these days.

[Roshtosh]

I use to cheat behind my wife’s back when she was alive, and i always felt guilty afterwards because i loved her so much but I wasn’t sexually satisfied,
When she was diagnosed with cancer i threw out all my bad habits and focus on her over her last 4 years, trying to be the best husband ever, but when she passed, all the guilt hit me all at once, and now i have to live with it for the rest of my life, because i was too gutless to kill myself even thow i wanted to die many times over,
So if you love your wife, try to fix your bedroom problems, spice things up with some toys, learn massage together on line and practice on each other, because that guilt is a real bastard to deal with.

I had that guilt too and went through therapy with a professional. The old lady said that "Perhaps you can look at it from the perspective you are satisfying your sexual needs enabling you to be a better man at home"

[xboyx]

buy a pack of small hand towel from supermarket.
before going home, go to a public toilet or your building's common toilet, rinse it and wipe your body clean with the towel. it'd help too if you drive around for half hour after that then come home. this will reduce the scent a lot.
just keep that towel in your car. it'd be even better if that towel gets some bad smell on it too.

[Nerius13]

I use to cheat behind my wife’s back when she was alive, and i always felt guilty afterwards because i loved her so much but I wasn’t sexually satisfied,
When she was diagnosed with cancer i threw out all my bad habits and focus on her over her last 4 years, trying to be the best husband ever, but when she passed, all the guilt hit me all at once, and now i have to live with it for the rest of my life, because i was too gutless to kill myself even thow i wanted to die many times over,
So if you love your wife, try to fix your bedroom problems, spice things up with some toys, learn massage together on line and practice on each other, because that guilt is a real bastard to deal with.

Mate, feeling guilt like regret isn't doing you any good. It's not helping your wife either. So let it go, no one is perfect. By all means learn from your experience, if you form another relationship, you know what not to do. As for being too gutless to kill yourself, I say it takes more courage to go on then give in. I came home from sea to a empty house, my wife, our daughter and all my belongings gone. I couldn't find my child it took months and that was with no domestic violence issues, just how the system was then. I sat one night, plastic sheets around a chair and on the wall and a gun I thought I would end it all. But I didn't do it, if that was gutless as you say, then I am gutless beside you brother. You can't change history, but harming yourself won't make amends. You put in the hard yards by looking after her, many men wouldn't have. I say you had your punishment living through that. Sorry didn't mean to preach....if it was a mate in your spot, would you help him? Then why do less for yourself?

[675r]

Mate, feeling guilt like regret isn't doing you any good. It's not helping your wife either. So let it go, no one is perfect. By all means learn from your experience, if you form another relationship, you know what not to do. As for being too gutless to kill yourself, I say it takes more courage to go on then give in. I came home from sea to an empty house, my wife, our daughter and all my belongings gone. I couldn't find my child it took months and that was with no domestic violence issues, just how the system was then. I sat one night, plastic sheets around a chair and on the wall and a gun I thought I would end it all. But I didn't do it, if that was gutless as you say, then I am gutless beside you brother. You can't change history, but harming yourself won't make amends. You put in the hard yards by looking after her, many men wouldn't have. I say you had your punishment living through that. Sorry didn't mean to preach....if it was a mate in your spot, would you help him? Then why do less for yourself?

Totally agree and Well said 👏

[Dr Hong]

Just rub your used undies all over your body. I know its gross but has always worked for me.

[ParramattaRiver]

"Getting away with it". I am torn between whether the Electronic or James song is better.
Both brilliant.
Lol. Both awesome tracks. Slightly prefer the James one.

[ColesBag]

Punting at night time then going straight home. Mistake number one.

[GoldfishMan]

Punting at night time then going straight home. Mistake number one.

This is invaluable advise brothers. Some of you might be ridden by guilt and it compels you to run back home as soon as you're done with a punt. You think being home ASAP lets you somehow atone for your sin.

All it does is make it easier for your partner to sniff out that dodgy soap smell. Do NOT go straight home. Go to a pub and have a drink, walk around the park, whatever.

[GoldfishMan]

About feeling guilty, nah, no guilt from me. I've been punting since before I got married, including before I met my first wife. It's who I am, I'm not going to change this part of me for nobody but myself.

If I don't punt, I'd be out trying to pull girls and hooking up with them. I'm just a dirty guy always lusting for sexy girls. It is what it is.

[FreyaFan]

If I don't punt, I'd be out trying to pull girls and hooking up with them. I'm just a dirty guy always lusting for sexy girls. It is what it is.

Agree totally. Punting allows me to pursue those purely sexual connections with women without any of the gameplay, deceit or manipulation that often accompanies hooking up. I don't feel guilty being with a WL, however I have felt guilty in the past when I have let a woman believe there was more to our connection than there actually was, just so that I could have sex with her. When I am partnered and punting, I am cautious about causing issues for my partner, whether that be contracting an STI or upending their sense of security in our relationship by being caught out, but I never feel guilty per se.

[Magma]

So I can clarify a bit.

I have cheated in the past and came clean immediately. I was completely unhappy with our situation and constantly threatened to leave prior but my partner never took it as serious. I cheated partly because the girl was smoking hot and another part because I wanted to be done with it.

She pleaded with me to stay as I left and convinced me and said things would get better she also said there would be other options if it happened again. Well they did get better but not by enough and these other options seemed to have vanished when I bring it up. However life has also progressed and well leaving isn't really an option at the moment.

Anyway my guilt isn't so much of the cheating it's more about the difficult situation that would be brought up if I am caught. There is also a bit of paranoia of catching something and passing it on.