Advice to a young punter?

[caramelopopcorn]

Looking for some advice here from a long time lurker, this story is something that is nothing new to this forum. I want to keep details intentionally vague but also give as much as I’m willing to share because my monkey brain is fighting against me. Maybe a cautionary tale for the recent posts I’ve been seeing from other young guys.

For context, I’m a young guy in his early 20s, I started punting this year but managed to have the self control to only visit 2 different WL for a total of 3 visits. I didn’t want to visit shops frequently.

I’m in a pretty dark place in my life but I’ve done a lot of good work pushing through it this year. In a moment of weakness I decided to visit my first WL in late April after some careful thinking and weighing of options from this forum and lurking other places on the topic on the internet. I was a virgin and it was great. I got what I wanted and my needs were met. I saw this WL for a 2nd time about 3 months later and was pretty satisfied. She remains the best service out of only 2 WL I’ve seen in my short time punting. I have no intention of going to see her again and honestly don’t want to. After a while, I did my STD testing to be safe after my sessions.

However, my dilemma I’m wrestling with myself comes from the 2nd WL I’ve seen. I’ve only seen her once and quite recently. Honestly, looking back I don’t know why or how I visited a shop again. I think it happened quite impulsively after being really stressed and I’ve been lying to myself a bit. She’s young and we’re the same age. Walking into the room she seemed surprised to see me and a bit reserved - I later realised she was just a bit shy as the session that would follow was amazing. The sex was good, but that honestly wasn’t what stuck with me. We would talk about our similar experiences after sex and when we weren’t we would just cuddle in each others company. The way she would stare into my eyes in silence. She pinched my cheek and called me cute and made me feel wanted. I’ve only ever had one other girl in my life directly validate my looks and call me handsome but I might be a dumbass with flirting and picking things up.

I don’t think I’m bad looking or the most handsome guy, I honestly can’t tell and might be a self esteem thing. I have gotten female attention in the past but never really escalated successfully with a girl I really liked. My close friends in my life are more girls than guys at the moment but strictly platonic and I have no desire to act upon that for different reasons. I’m currently relatively fit in my beginner year of lifting with great strength and size gains. I trying to be focused on getting my life together.

I can’t stop thinking about this girl. I need someone to knock some sense into me or advice on how to navigate this. There was a bit of an English barrier but she mentioned doing things on the weekend and getting drinks a couple times but I sort of shrugged it off as I didn’t understand exactly what she was saying.

If I ever do see her again (and I quite frankly really want to) - I’m afraid I might ask her out. I have no long term intentions with her and the choices that are most tempting to me are:

A) See her again and ask if she wants to be friends with boundaries in place. Maybe even FWB, sexual exclusivity doesn’t matter or bother me given her work. Just friends and hanging around with someone from a different walk of life sounds good I guess but there’s no denying it’s a tempting, bad idea. Would stop punting after this - I don’t really have a desire to see any other girls in shops (and probably for the best)

B) See her once more and leave it at that. Quit punting after before it’s too late. (Honestly sounds so silly writing it out)

C) Somehow stop thinking about it. Quit punting now before it’s too late.

I’m most tempted to maybe ask to hang and see what might happen. We’ll be friends and do all friends stuff. But if things ever get serious with someone else - it stops. This girl checks all the boxes for me, it’s just this whole scenario. I enjoyed just talking to her tbh. I wouldn’t judge a future partner if sex work was part of her past - but I wouldn’t want something serious on the long term with someone who’s currently still doing sex work. This or just quitting punting seems like the most likely scenarios.

I think I have to admit I’ve been struggling with a porn addiction and reading this forum infrequently when I’m bored. The forum is no doubt my main trigger for punting and I've been lurking for maybe more than a year infrequently before I ever started actively engaging with this side of life.

I don’t want to make a mistake that’s going to cost me. I need a reality check, but please go easy, I’ll do my best to reply if I think it’s necessary. I don’t particularly feel comfortable posting here but I realise the consequences of making a mistake will be a lot worse than anything that can be said to me about this.

[Alextheman871]

I think you just have to think of what you really wanted. why not try what you think will satisfy you? at least you won't have any regrets after
lastly, stop over thinking brother! there is more to life than punting! you will be just fine!

[JSteel96]

See her again next week and see if the sparks are still there. If no then move on to the next girl. If yes the sparks are still with you set up a private with her and try for FWB situation. If you do this just make sure you have enough ongoing funds for her. Get her number first if you still see the same way. But be warned many of these girls are very good at their job they can make you fall in love with them very easily. You have to weigh things up. If you can't stop thinking about her go see her next week and update us. Then just blurt out to her that you wanna see her private. See what she says. Hopefully she agrees.

[personaa]

I know you may not follow what I'm going tell you, as I received the same advice and didn't follow it.

Keep it to the shop. Have control over your emotions. She sees many guys like you, and it's her job to make them feel special. Get real bro. Generally, most guys are quite weak in dealing with women and girls know this very well. They play very well and they are fantastic actors, particularly MLs/WLs. I truly believe Spielberg should do his next casting audition in a shop.

[Double_Adapter]

I know you may not follow what I'm going tell you, as I received the same advice and didn't follow it.

Keep it to the shop. Have control over your emotions. She sees many guys like you, and it's her job to make them feel special. Get real bro. Generally, most guys are quite weak in dealing with women and girls know this very well. They play very well and they are fantastic actors, particularly MLs/WLs.

I truly believe Spielberg should do his next casting audition in a shop.

....too late!

https://nypost.com/2020/11/09/steven-spielbergs-daughter-mikaela-making-porn-is-a-healing-journey/amp/

[Footballpunter]

Hey dude, I guess it's good that you are seeking advice.

I do want to ask you what exactly do you want to get out of it? Maybe think about it first. I'm under the impression that you don't really know what you want at the moment because you said you just want to hang and be friends, but then you mentioned maybe FWB. You said you can't stop thinking about her, but then you would also stop communications with her if you get into a relationship. I'm sorry, but you are a bit all over the place. I think your approach to this situation will be heavily depended on what you REALLY want to achieve. So maybe think about that part a little more.

It might be easier to fall for a WL when you don't have much experience with them or with relationship in general. It's all good, it can also happen to the experienced folks too. However, do remember that this is their job. They are there to provide a service. They are programmed to make you like them, so you would go back. You can also think about this way. If you want something from them, think about what's in it for them. Put yourself in their shoes. You want to hang out and be FWB, at the end of the day, it's basically free sex. So what is in it for them? Do they want to give you free sex when they can do it with other people and make money?

[ditchtheboss]

Dude, if you are pulling yourself out of a dark place I can only honestly and with the best of intentions tell you to not see her again. It is an honest advice from someone who has had 2 relationships with WLs one frequently reviewed and I am a very close friends with another WL whose reviews pop up somewhat frequently. Their world is not our world and if you are not in a good place already or has recently come out from a dark place, seeing her outside the shop will drag you down to a place that you could never imagine.

I am a sensitive kind of guy and feel you. My first relationship started exactly like that, the way she looked at me, cuddled silently, caressed me in a non sexual way and then followed that with amazing round 2. The same girl once told me she is a professional lier. I fell deeply and hard. I still have the psychological scars from it. My heart still sinks and get that sick feeling in the stomach when I see the ARs. Before you say you are ok with the ARs and other guys seeing her, believe me you are not and you are not going to be.

Punting is fun but it has to be kept at arigato and saionara. Anything more than that particularly if you are young and new to it, it will not result in anything good.

That is as much as I am willing to share openly. Feel free to pm me if you like.

[okachimachi]

I know you may not follow what I'm going tell you, as I received the same advice and didn't follow it.

Keep it to the shop. Have control over your emotions. She sees many guys like you, and it's her job to make them feel special. Get real bro. Generally, most guys are quite weak in dealing with women and girls know this very well. They play very well and they are fantastic actors, particularly MLs/WLs. I truly believe Spielberg should do his next casting audition in a shop.


i concur with this persons message

[andrewv]

Dude, if you are pulling yourself out of a dark place I can only honestly and with the best of intentions tell you to not see her again. It is an honest advice from someone who has had 2 relationships with WLs one frequently reviewed and I am a very close friends with another WL whose reviews pop up somewhat frequently. Their world is not our world and if you are not in a good place already or has recently come out from a dark place, seeing her outside the shop will drag you down to a place that you could never imagine.

I am a sensitive kind of guy and feel you. My first relationship started exactly like that, the way she looked at me, cuddled silently, caressed me in a non sexual way and then followed that with amazing round 2. The same girl once told me she is a professional lier. I fell deeply and hard. I still have the psychological scars from it. My heart still sinks and get that sick feeling in the stomach when I see the ARs. Before you say you are ok with the ARs and other guys seeing her, believe me you are not and you are not going to be.

Punting is fun but it has to be kept at arigato and saionara. Anything more than that particularly if you are young and new to it, it will not result in anything good.

That is as much as I am willing to share openly. Feel free to pm me if you like.

This has to be the most honest feedback I have read here for a very long time. And wise too.

[bleekpit]

another advice i saw in another thread is to write a review of the girl and watch how all the guys she's had write about the exact same service as u had. that should put it back into perspective for u. some of them are very good actresses (or not. but u are just blinded by infatuation, not love).

[ditchtheboss]

This has to be the most honest feedback I have read here for a very long time. And wise too.

Thank you mate. I really felt for him and I don’t wish it on anyone. Punting is great fun but it is really dangerous in so many ways.

[ditchtheboss]

another advice i saw in another thread is to write a review of the girl and watch how all the guys she's had write about the exact same service as u had. that should put it back into perspective for u. some of them are very good actresses (or not. but u are just blinded by infatuation, not love).

I saw that one too and wish I had had that idea a few years ago when I got in way too deep. It is a great use.

You are right, young dude is not in love but he is infatuated by her. Wish him luck, tough place to be

[B0nkers]

I've advised this in another recent thread, and as you are in a dark place at the moment DON'T GO DOWN THIS RABBIT HOLE!

When I read your post, in the back of my twisted mindI was hoping that you'd give the girl you liked one more try to see what happens. BUT if you're not in the best place at the moment, run as far as possible and don't go, stop watching porn, and get off this forum.

Some of these girls can really fuck with your head without knowing it. They think they are trying to get a good regular customer, but they don't understand you are taking them seriously. They are doing this to make money not to find a boyfriend or fuck buddy.

Be very aware that once you start down this path you can fall deeper than you ever imagined. If you've lurked around the forum you may have a small taste of where it could go, and climbing out is really fucking hard. I know you're thinking "that won't happen to me". Well think again, it happens to the best of us and can ruin your life or worse. I've seen it happen.

It's your choice, it's your life and you only get one, so make the best of it young fella.

[hornedbeast]

Fuck hard while you are young, horny, well-hung and potent

[Tommyboid]

I'm a youngish bloke myself my advice is give it a chance make your boundaries known when they are crossed.

Since you know that dark place just remember to keep working on yourself,focus on you big guy

Ask yourself are you able to differentiate her from her work and know that she won't just leave it, if she tells you that she will take it with a huge grain of salt

To end it life's short enjoy the ride see where it goes if it isn't working out nip it in the bud sooner rather than later

[caramelopopcorn]

Had a busy day and running on not a lot of sleep. Theres nothing stopping me from seeing her again whenever I want, but I came to my senses when I had time alone to myself in the quieter parts of the day.

Home now and I’m really grateful for all your responses. You guys have made some very valid points. I was hesitant to make a post on the forum but I’m glad I got to hear your perspectives and experiences.

Yes I recently figured life was too short, but that doesn’t mean I going to spend that time making hedonistic decisions that would be a detriment to myself in the long run. Life can be unfair and uncertain things happen to the best of us. I want to spend that time choosing to do better. If I’m not making the effort today to be the best version of myself - then when? I may never get another chance.

I forgive myself for the choices I made - I never thought I would call myself a ‘punter’. It's hard to say whether or not I regret it - the most positive thing is that I learnt a lot about myself rather than the experiences themselves. It took some real lows to muster the desire to visit a shop in the first place. But I know I’m strong enough to leave this behind now.

3 sessions is enough for someone of my background as young as me and it would be financially irresponsible of me to keep going. I’m getting out while I still have some savings that could be put to better use.

You guys are right. I never thought I was in ‘love’. I don’t know what I even want. There are less complicated people I can choose to be friends with. It wasn’t even the sex that has me on a leash. It was the intimacy and closeness of cuddling and sharing a ‘connection’ with someone. I thought i had my emotional needs met as I’m lucky to have people in my life who care about me - but this intimacy? I can’t tell whats real - but its something I haven’t experienced before and is new to me. I just hope this doesn’t set unrealistic expectations.

I’m doing well, all things considered and I have things going on to keep my mind occupied on other things. When I’m ready, maybe I’ll get back into dating and make an effort to find someone I can feel some closeness towards. Maybe learn more about myself and get heartbroken with someone that doesn’t involve a shop.

I’ve requested to cancel my WeChat account and deleted the app. I hope this does good in the long run.

If I’m honest - I’ve been compulsively checking the forum to see if any new AR were being posted of her ever since I’ve last saw her. I want to limit and quit my use of this forum altogether so I guess I’ll just stick around till this thread dies out and I’ll eventually forget my account details. Maybe I’ll tried to stay in the ‘General Talk’ tab for the next day or so.

Thank you for seeing yourself in me, I wish you all the very best.

[PKING2]

Dude. The more you reading this forum. The more you will fall into rabbit hole. My advice if you think you want to stop. Don't ever read this forum again. Because it's like a loaded gun if you keeping read the general talk because the ar section is one click away.

Hope you all the best bro!!!

[JSteel96]

Dude you need a regular girlfriend maybe join RSVP or similar and start dating some girls. Punting can drain your finances fairly fast. I think your making the right choice to stop and get out of this game. Don't fall in love with WLs.

[B0nkers]

Well done.

So much respect for you now.

Most people in this forum are liers, cheats, trolls and idiots. Including me. Most of the ladies we see are the same. Stop before you start and have some self respect.

Don't regret what you've done, just acknowledge it, try and learn something from it, and move on. I'm sure you intuitively knew what the best path is. It's a pity that I didn't have the self respect and confidence to do the same at your age.

As I said It's harder to climb out of the hole than digging it. Have a great life and stay strong.

[Footballpunter]

Had a busy day and running on not a lot of sleep. Theres nothing stopping me from seeing her again whenever I want, but I came to my senses when I had time alone to myself in the quieter parts of the day.

Home now and I’m really grateful for all your responses. You guys have made some very valid points. I was hesitant to make a post on the forum but I’m glad I got to hear your perspectives and experiences.

Yes I recently figured life was too short, but that doesn’t mean I going to spend that time making hedonistic decisions that would be a detriment to myself in the long run. Life can be unfair and uncertain things happen to the best of us. I want to spend that time choosing to do better. If I’m not making the effort today to be the best version of myself - then when? I may never get another chance.

I forgive myself for the choices I made - I never thought I would call myself a ‘punter’. It's hard to say whether or not I regret it - the most positive thing is that I learnt a lot about myself rather than the experiences themselves. It took some real lows to muster the desire to visit a shop in the first place. But I know I’m strong enough to leave this behind now.

3 sessions is enough for someone of my background as young as me and it would be financially irresponsible of me to keep going. I’m getting out while I still have some savings that could be put to better use.

You guys are right. I never thought I was in ‘love’. I don’t know what I even want. There are less complicated people I can choose to be friends with. It wasn’t even the sex that has me on a leash. It was the intimacy and closeness of cuddling and sharing a ‘connection’ with someone. I thought i had my emotional needs met as I’m lucky to have people in my life who care about me - but this intimacy? I can’t tell whats real - but its something I haven’t experienced before and is new to me. I just hope this doesn’t set unrealistic expectations.

I’m doing well, all things considered and I have things going on to keep my mind occupied on other things. When I’m ready, maybe I’ll get back into dating and make an effort to find someone I can feel some closeness towards. Maybe learn more about myself and get heartbroken with someone that doesn’t involve a shop.

I’ve requested to cancel my WeChat account and deleted the app. I hope this does good in the long run.

If I’m honest - I’ve been compulsively checking the forum to see if any new AR were being posted of her ever since I’ve last saw her. I want to limit and quit my use of this forum altogether so I guess I’ll just stick around till this thread dies out and I’ll eventually forget my account details. Maybe I’ll tried to stay in the ‘General Talk’ tab for the next day or so.

Thank you for seeing yourself in me, I wish you all the very best.

Good job on thinking straight. It's especially tough to feel a "connection" and then get your head straight. Mad respect if you really decide to let go and follow through with it. To be perfectly honest, I was not strong enough to stop. I can't say I regret my decision but it was a total wreck on my mental health.

Don't worry about the AR if you have already decided not to continue. Stay strong. Be the best version of yourself. Good luck.

[Escortfinder]

Hey man, i'm happy that you've been able to overcome all this. As a young 20 year old punter myself would there be any possibility that you could share her information. Your story brought up a-lot of the things i wish for in a service thats all.

[crazykyle1984]

Dude, if you are pulling yourself out of a dark place I can only honestly and with the best of intentions tell you to not see her again. It is an honest advice from someone who has had 2 relationships with WLs one frequently reviewed and I am a very close friends with another WL whose reviews pop up somewhat frequently. Their world is not our world and if you are not in a good place already or has recently come out from a dark place, seeing her outside the shop will drag you down to a place that you could never imagine.

I am a sensitive kind of guy and feel you. My first relationship started exactly like that, the way she looked at me, cuddled silently, caressed me in a non sexual way and then followed that with amazing round 2. The same girl once told me she is a professional lier. I fell deeply and hard. I still have the psychological scars from it. My heart still sinks and get that sick feeling in the stomach when I see the ARs. Before you say you are ok with the ARs and other guys seeing her, believe me you are not and you are not going to be.

Punting is fun but it has to be kept at arigato and saionara. Anything more than that particularly if you are young and new to it, it will not result in anything good.

That is as much as I am willing to share openly. Feel free to pm me if you like.

I was moved by this comment. cheers bro! very honest and straightforward!

[Refedust]

keep your heart out of WL my friend, its never worth it to dig deeper into the relationship

[okachimachi]

I was moved by this comment. cheers bro! very honest and straightforward!

yes this comment is true and should be followed

[ditchtheboss]

yes this comment is true and should be followed

No worries folks, just trying to save his soul. I honestly don’t want anyone, particularly young fellows to go through the hell that it can be to be in a relationship with a WL. Don’t take me wrong, it is also great, fantastic in fact, but on the balance of things and with a clear mind it is best to follow the arigato and sayonara approach