Trapped and helpless

[Jim_cs]

Hey brothers not sure why I’m writing this, but I think I need an outlet. Long time punter due to being in a sexless relationship. Love my kids but the wife is cold at times and doesn’t provide me with what I need. It’s been years of broken promises that things will change, feeling like our relationship is de prioritised, and countless hours of counselling that just leads to the same issues again.

So I’m stuck in a marriage that I want to keep for the kids, but I punt to keep it purely transactional and don’t want any strings with relationships. From a physical perspective it helps a lot and keeps me sane and the marriage in tact for now.

I do feel like this is a temporary fix until the kids are grown up and I can leave the marriage. This feels like such a horrible way to live life. Thanks for reading.

[Endo123]

How old are your kids? Guessing something like 9 since you're a long time punters and are still waiting for them to grow up.

Well my sob story is I started punting since I come to realise I will never find someone and the perpetual loneliness is killing me. So bad as your situation Well is, as they say better to have loved than to never love at all right?

[Spanky69]

Sexless relationship.

I just finished a three month stint with a ML and it was the same. No sex. Some people withhold sex as a power play, others are just not sexually driven. They may even mask their sexuality.

In your case years of broken promises and counselling. Tell me how can a third party tell you anything except extract your money?

You are your own boss and you choose what you need. If it’s punting then so be it. Just be financially prepared to dump the wife and don’t have her grabbing any extra on the way out. We all know what women want, their guys money.

You have to look after your future not hers.

Of course the kids take priority but as soon as they’re old enough terminate the relationship with “the missus” and move on. Don’t get stitched up again and just play the field.

[Spanky69]

Well my sob story is I started punting since I come to realise I will never find someone and the perpetual loneliness is killing me. So bad as your situation Well is, as they say better to have loved than to never love at all right?

You have to find some activities that interest you and take your mind off things. The right woman will turn up…she’s being made in a factory in China and for $9000A she looks very real.

[The Sampler]

You need to hit the gym.

Trust me, was in the same boat.
After a few months of gains you will feel and look amazing and next thing you know opportunities just present themselves whether that be with the wife or punting or both and even more

[Spanky69]

You need to hit the gym.

Trust me, was in the same boat.
After a few months of gains you will feel and look amazing and next thing you know opportunities just present themselves whether that be with the wife or punting or both and even more


The gym is a great idea for him.

Plenty of hotties.

[woodland]

i feel for you mate. you need to get some hobbies to distract yourself from this terrible sick joke called life.

[JJBlows]

its threads like this that makes me not want to get married and have kids, but at the same time you dont want to be lonely in life and take a chance in getting it right or watch it all go wrong.

what a conundrum.

OP, is there anything that you could do better in your relationship?? sometimes women clam up when they themselves may be unhappy in a relationship, you cant take it each other for granted

[Lasher167]

If it’s any consolation i am in the same boat as you… the wife is invested in the kids and not us… question for the wives out there who treat the relationship like this… what happens after the kids fly the roost?? The relationship is in effect dead … I am waiting for my wife to initiate some intimacy after the kids have left the house for me to say… I have a headache ..hahaha

[Jamit]

Hey bro'

This will be one of life's toughest decisions.

Believe me separation when you have a family can be traumatic both financially and emotionally.

Have you tried couples counselling. Even if your wife refuses or it doesn't work. It shows that you at least tried. This fairness may pay dividends down the track. Sex IS important if one of you is missing it, even if the other aspects of the relationship are kind of okay

Buy her a copy of Passionate Marriage.

Suggest an open relationship if that could work for you. She might accept of she is aware of how sex is important to you.

Most people say split sooner rather than later as better chance of successful repartnering. Got to weigh up the other aspects of the relationship that are good


It is good to plan for separation whilst giving her the last chance. . Sounds mercenary but many people do it Estimate your financial position. Get legal advice. Financial advice. Are your finances in order? Imminent inheritance? How might her her family react? How do you envision the separated life 50/50 or every second weekend with kids. Will you have to sell the house? If renting this can actually be a godsend as no court case around the house. Will you be able to afford to live where you are now or even near the kids.

The trouble is the whole financial and housing system is built around double income couples not singles. It can pay dividends financially staying together until the kids grow up, or maybe it is in your interest to cut your losses early

A big decision so many factors. Just make your decision

[11Bravo]

Well my sob story is I started punting since I come to realise I will never find someone and the perpetual loneliness is killing me. So bad as your situation Well is, as they say better to have loved than to never love at all right?

You don't say how old you are, where you are in life. Are you in school? Work? You never know when someone of interest might appear. NO disrespect, but is it a cultural thing, it has to be someone of your heritage? Do you have unrealistic expectations? Do you come across as a sadsack, bemoaning your lot in life? The way you are, would you want to be around you, get to know you? (ALL of these are rhetorical questions, no need to answer, just think about). What do you like to do? What hobbies do you have? Go do what you like to do, enjoy life. You just might meet someone who likes doing the same thing. Or hates those, but you'll still have fun finding what you do have in common. Not everyone is an extrovert, nothing wrong with being an introvert. Still, as you go through life, don't look down (head up mon - Jamaican accent), look around (and not leering :smile:), be a nice person. Be someone that someone would like to get to know, not a braggart, not an egotist, you don't need to monopolize conversations, just participate. Try some new things, fail. That makes you human. Don't sit alone in your room, go do what you enjoy doing (within the law :smile:), and find new things you'll also enjoy doing.

Bottom line, you're alive, you DON'T know what the future holds... (but in case you do, please DM me, and only me, the next winning lottery numbers when it's at least 500 million... no use wasting any precognition skills)... but in all honesty, you don't know what the future holds, and that IS PERSONAL LIFE experience.

[Jim_cs]

Thanks for the input friends.

Gym - yes and it feels great.
Hobbies - Yeap, helping me keep my mind occupied
Kids - we both would do everything in the world to avoid any emotional harm with what’s going on.
Couples counselling - Yeap, for more than a year. It was good at first but then slowly deteriorates back to the unhappy place.

I can emphatise and feel for anyone going through this. It’s a hard one because I want to keep the peace.

It’s one thing to invest all our time in the kids which we do. We recognise that our relationship suffers and both realise we need to work on it but nothing changes. It especially hurts when I do see her give more attention to her friends more than our relationship but I think it’s time I realise she’s just not into our relationship anymore. It’s a hard one because she should be happy and maintain her friendships and I want that for her. But it’s especially hard when we have spoken about both our needs and I feel like mine aren’t heard.

I feel like I’m a bad person for wanting sex and intimacy in our relationship. She wants emotional connection which is great, and we have that. But that connection dissolves and I hide away. Kinda feel like a pathetic man and husband when I dont have the connection I need.

[Jamit]

Last point it is not only the wives that do this. The blokes can lose attraction for their wives which makes the sex shit. Couples counselling and sex therapy is useful

[Jamit]

Last point it is not only the wives that do this. The blokes can lose attraction for their wives which makes the sex shit. Couples counselling and sex therapy is useful

[Lasher167]

We have tried in the past but don’t bother any more … I can see wife does not care

[dotcumdotinyou]

Been there...done that

While still in the relationship concentrate on your kids and nothing else, always remember fighting for access to your kids in court is upwards of $20K, so punt when you feel the urge and stay in the relationship as long as possible. Start preparing for the end now ask friends who've been through this some advise, start putting money aside into your own bank account, build yourself a fighting fund for when the end comes. Find yourself a good DIVORCE lawyer. I can't emphasise this enough...not just any lawyer but one who does nothing else but divorce, a good one can cost $600 per hour but it'll be worth it in the end. Set a goal as to what you want from the split up of assets, don't be greedy or spiteful ask only for what you want and leave enough for her to continue her life. ALWAYS play hardball and get into the court as quickly as you can, letters going back and forth from lawyers cost a shitload of money and lead nowhere. Remember only a court can force an outcome not lawyers.

[Spanky69]

Whatever the cost it’s worth it. You get your freedom, your own place and you do whatever you want.

[Jamit]

Whatever to cost it’s worth it. You get your freedom, your own place and you do whatever you want.

It depends. Could end up in a share house just off the M4 in St Mary's without enough surplus cash to own and run a car.

[Axeman123]

Hey brothers not sure why I’m writing this, but I think I need an outlet. Long time punter due to being in a sexless relationship. Love my kids but the wife is cold at times and doesn’t provide me with what I need. It’s been years of broken promises that things will change, feeling like our relationship is de prioritised, and countless hours of counselling that just leads to the same issues again.

So I’m stuck in a marriage that I want to keep for the kids, but I punt to keep it purely transactional and don’t want any strings with relationships. From a physical perspective it helps a lot and keeps me sane and the marriage in tact for now.

I do feel like this is a temporary fix until the kids are grown up and I can leave the marriage. This feels like such a horrible way to live life. Thanks for reading. Exactly same for me. About 17 yrs without intimacy. That's not taking into account the declining years. It's not that they don't want intimacy or sex any more..... they just don't want it with their husbands. To cut a long story I stuck it out for my boys now young men and am so glad I did . I believe a man belongs with his family. If so many of these hookers can sell their bodies for family I can stay with mine. Do it if you can.

[ColesBag]

Not your fault. Always remember that.

Punt discreetly, you'll be happier. Nothing worse than depression mate. Good luck.

[JJBlows]

this whole thread reminds me of the saying

"men die in their 30's, they just dont get buried until they are in their 80's"

[Spanky69]

It depends. Could end up in a share house just off the M4 in St Mary's without enough surplus cash to own and run a car.

When I was younger, way way younger I looked for a share house. I went to 21 inspections over two weeks. I found one with two hotties in it. I never banged them but all their friends, models, aerobics champions, etc, all good sorts, it was party central.

Just don’t take the first place you find.

Regarding cars. Unless you really need one as a work vehicle don’t buy it.

Cost per year:

Registration $1200
Insurance $1500
Maintenance $1000
Fuel $2500
Tolls $1000

That’s $140 a week just to have the car.

Then there’s the cost of the vehicle. If it’s financed then put that onto your weekly cost.

It’s not worth owning a car unless you can write the costs off.

Better off with public transport to get around.

[Spanky69]

Exactly same for me. About 17 yrs without intimacy. That's not taking into account the declining years. It's not that they don't want intimacy or sex any more..... they just don't want it with their husbands. To cut a long story I stuck it out for my boys now young men and am so glad I did . I believe a man belongs with his family. If so many of these hookers can sell their bodies for family I can stay with mine. Do it if you can.

I’m of the opinion that a woman only needs a man for security~money. Men need a woman for sex. If either one of those needs fail then walk.

The moment you bring children into the equation you have to do the right thing and support the children. Once they’re 18 then you get your life back.

Patience is a virtue best served by divorce lawyers.

[Spanky69]

this whole thread reminds me of the saying

"men die in their 30's, they just dont get buried until they are in their 80's"

I’ve always cheated my entire life and I have no regrets. I’m currently cheating now. It’s like breathing, just normality. Nothing more.

My “loyal to their partner” mates…well one has given up on sex. He’s only 44. Given up on sex. A sexless relationship. He’s fine in every other way just his partner doesn’t do it. Yet he remains loyal. I suppose he’s died according to JJBlows post above.

[schloong]

this whole thread reminds me of the saying

"men die in their 30's, they just dont get buried until they are in their 80's"

Or another saying: "Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to"

[GoldfishMan]

To all the bros with sexless marriages, sorry to hear about your predicament. It does feel like you're doing it all for nothing, especially if you're a punter as well. Then your mind starts to think "why go through all that trouble when I can just pay for it?".

It could be sexless because you no longer find your wife attractive or she has become uninterested (but you still have the desire to fuck her). If it is the latter, you can do something about it. Use meds to improve your performance in bed and get her interested again. Work on your self-image, etc. If the reason is the other one, then it will be very difficult to fix because it can only be fixed by her. Would she hit the gym and get fit, just to present you with a more fuckable wife? Not very likely.

Anyway, if divorce is the only solution, you're probably going to need some facts about divorce law in Australia before you pull the trigger.

I think the most important fact is "No fault" divorce is used here. What it means is, when it comes to how the courts process a divorce, it does not matter why or how the divorce happened. All divorces are processed in the same way, taking into account the same factors. Think long and hard about this because it could play out very differently from what you expect.

Take 2 examples. First example, a high-earning high net worth man divorces his highly promiscuous, cheating wife with all the evidence to prove the infidelity. Second example, a man with the same financial position as the first example divorces his very faithful wife because he has fallen head over heels for his new GF.

In both examples, assuming that the man and wife are exactly the same from a financial perspective, the outcome would be exactly the same. She gets half of everything that was earned during the marriage. If she didn't have any income during the marriage, she gets spousal support. And so on...

The other major thing to remember is that point about "getting half of everything earned in the marriage". Depending on what you do during the marriage, it might be in your best interest to divorce as soon as possible. This is from a financial perspective.

Good luck bro OP.

[Double_Adapter]

It's not that they don't want intimacy or sex any more..... they just don't want it with their husbands.

This shit right here, is real talk!

I've banged enough divorcees, single mums, and unhappy partners and wives to validate the statement.

In the right circumstances and context, punting of any gender, style, and type can/does save relationships.

https://www.outkick.com/culture/married-mom-used-male-escorts-to-save-her-marriage

[sync3d3d]

Very Similar situation with the wife and kids . Started maybe 8 years ago to punt once every 2 months or so to now once a week or fortnight .
I don’t think I’m scratching my itch and I’m still looking for something more..

[andrewv]

Although we sometimes hear about married couples with children being highly active in bed, in reality this is a rarity. Many surveys have shown this.

Add to this how often couples “grow apart” when it comes to their communication, likes and dislikes at a social level.

In reality, what keeps many couples going is the need to look after the kids.

If sex in marriage was overwhelmingly good, the oldest profession would go bust. It has not, and will not.

[Spanky69]

Who put forward the concept of marriage?

I’m all for marriage if you can have several wives. If you can support them during the marriage then why not… oh that word support comes up once again.

On the split up why should a guy have to support his wife/defacto and give her half if she’s never contributed to his business?

I’m sure running things through a trust is the way to keep her hands off things. I’ve even had a WL recently mention the word “trust” in relation to holding onto assets. I thought she’s already done her research on punters and their assets ffs…

[James_jones]

We have tried in the past but don’t bother any more … I can see wife does not care

Your wife is fucking someone else.

[Axeman123]

Your wife is fucking someone else. The biggest mistake a married man who's marriage is less than ideal can make is to believe that his wife couldn't be unfaithful. There's an awful lot of literature out there if you're looking to learn about red flags.

[Jim_cs]

Thanks all for your input. Lots to think about. Have been hitting the gym and staying busy with hobbies as a coping mechanism.

My main focus now are the kids. Just want to be here and deal with this so called marriage and run the course as much as I can stand it.

It’s sad to constantly hear and read that the man needs to step up with emotional connection first before we get what we need. The constant narrative that husbands need to step up etc grates on me. I feel like I am doing all I can with depression meds, therapy, couples counselling and all roads eventually lead back to this place.

For me, what broke the camels back was seeing my wife asleep on the couch watching tv on my birthday promising a special night. Needless to say I went to bed frustrated and lonely and was given the “it’s not a big deal” treatment. This was juxtaposed by the magical birthday celebration she organised for her friends. It really puts a man in his place.

So this is why I’m just done with this relationship. But… I will keep doing it for the kids.

[JJBlows]

need to start a thread on how to hide/protect assets so men can leave unhappy relationships whilst still looking after the kids etc

[ColesBag]

This shit right here, is real talk!

I've banged enough divorcees, single mums, and unhappy partners and wives to validate the statement.

In the right circumstances and context, punting of any gender, style, and type can/does save relationships.

https://www.outkick.com/culture/married-mom-used-male-escorts-to-save-her-marriage


Been there brother. Both men & women want to spice up life in general if things are a bit stale. I've say it over & over monogamy is one of the most fucked up things that humans have foisted on each other.

[Spanky69]

need to start a thread on how to hide/protect assets so men can leave unhappy relationships whilst still looking after the kids etc

Every relationship ends up unhappy sooner or later. Anyone disagree?

[kpopcity]

A lot of my friends are getting into the age when they are going to get married. Puritan christianity australia has taught them since day 1, marriage is sacred and marriage will last like hollywood forever after movies - when statistics show 40% of marriages end in divorce and perhaps another 40-50% are only in that marriage for the kids or they don't lose 90% of their shit.

The saving grace is, since Aus is a relatively wealthy country, even if you do get divorced, overseas in a third world country presents opportunities. For example, Thailand and Phillipines has been the go to place for divorcee men who want to fuck 20 year olds after decades of sexless marriage. Here is to the aussie dollar

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR0knFOYw8B4DsmgEHlFS6YBl19Dpp3h CpLiQ&s

[massage addict]

Yep, stay around and raise your boys!
It was the best thing my dad did for me so many great memories of trips away with him.

[Spanky69]

Every woman wants money, that’s all it’s ever been about. Doesn’t matter what country. Just your buying power is better overseas. I’ve never heard of a long term relationship with any woman from OS and a western guy. The guys get shafted or run out of money then they’re soon divorced.

https://youtu.be/9CgSwOptuz8?si=lEWkeGuKrVyjrkEx

[sync3d3d]

Would love to hear how to do it !

[ReginaldBubbles]

Every woman wants money, that’s all it’s ever been about. Doesn’t matter what country. Just your buying power is better overseas. I’ve never heard of a long term relationship with any woman from OS and a western guy. The guys get shafted or run out of money then they’re soon divorced.

https://youtu.be/9CgSwOptuz8?si=lEWkeGuKrVyjrkEx

You sound old, sad and like a dude without female friends.

[Icegodofhungary]

Hey Jim_cs, sorry to hear about your situation man, it's horrible to feel helpless. I don't know what the best solution for you is, but I respect that you are staying in this far from ideal situation for the sake of your kids. You sound like a good father.

For their sake and your own you have to maintain your mental health and some sort of happiness in life - I think it would be hard to really be there for your kids without taking time for yourself. It's certainly not bad or wrong of you to want sex and intimacy with your wife, but in this situation neither is it a bad or wrong alternative to seek some aspect of that through punting. You gotta stay sane man. Maybe there are guys out there who can lead rewarding, fulfilling lives without sex, but seems kind of pointless. If your wife can't respect or understand that (and unfortunately many don't seem to), well you have an alternative.

As far as the overall situation - remember, you can't change someone else if they don't want to change. You can only change yourself and your situation. I don't know enough about you or your situation to know if you could or should change yourself so that your wife's attitude to sex and intimacy with you will change - I kinda suspect not as it seems like the issue is probably with her. Well, at least 50% of the issue, and sounds like she's not willing to work on her part. But if there is something you want to change with yourself, something that might improve how you feel or your situation, you have the power to do that.

[Spanky69]

You sound old, sad and like a dude without female friends.

Reggie there’s your perception and there’s reality.

As matter of fact you read as an older, slower, slovenly, sedate non risk taking individual. Most probably have a grey beard, unkept hair, shops at Lowes, and writes himself up as a purveyor of women. Am I correct?

I on the other hand fuck and don’t give a fuck.

We are two very different individuals.

Reggie age is a number, I don’t live my life by numbers unlike you and I’m way way too busy to be sad, that’s for people with nothing to do. Now about female friends, you’ve read my situation, a GF and two WLs, they’re the ones I’m dating and banging for free. That’s enough women for now. That last ML was a unicorn and I wrote about her for my pleasure and the forum’s entertainment.

Getting back to the post above that you commented about. It’s a fact, every guy I know who has been divorced has had a lot of money taken off him by greedy lazy lawyer advised women. One even hired a PI to follow her husband around and see what businesses he owned so she could get her claws on them. There are very very few self made women. Most are freeloaders. That’s just the nature of the beast.

Wake up and smell the roses.

[Niceguy11]

Hey brothers not sure why I’m writing this, but I think I need an outlet. Long time punter due to being in a sexless relationship. Love my kids but the wife is cold at times and doesn’t provide me with what I need. It’s been years of broken promises that things will change, feeling like our relationship is de prioritised, and countless hours of counselling that just leads to the same issues again.

So I’m stuck in a marriage that I want to keep for the kids, but I punt to keep it purely transactional and don’t want any strings with relationships. From a physical perspective it helps a lot and keeps me sane and the marriage in tact for now.

I do feel like this is a temporary fix until the kids are grown up and I can leave the marriage. This feels like such a horrible way to live life. Thanks for reading.

Brother Jim, we all go through times like you have said. Its always a fine balance between what people want. Single guys who want a relationship then on the flip side, men that are married but have a sexless relationship. I think its great you can talk about your current circumstance as it gives perspective. Most relationships (dating or married) get boring after a while and if the sexless part of the relationship can survive, then its great but its not always the case. When I was in a relationship, I went through the same things you mentioned except no kids. If we did have kids, it would have been fucked because kids are more important than your wife/partner. You will bend over backwards for them and actually look forward to seeing them rather than your wife/partner no matter how good / bad the relationship is.

Personally bro, focus on the kids. They are the most important thing in your life. And trust me, even if you leave your wife once the kids have grown up, you'll have so many great memories of going out with them and spending time with them when they are older. They will understand once they are older. All the best bro Jim. I know you'll make the right decision.

Apart from that, I would say keep punting bro ! Transactional or not, its always great to go for a punt.

[Axeman123]

Thanks all for your input. Lots to think about. Have been hitting the gym and staying busy with hobbies as a coping mechanism.

My main focus now are the kids. Just want to be here and deal with this so called marriage and run the course as much as I can stand it.

It’s sad to constantly hear and read that the man needs to step up with emotional connection first before we get what we need. The constant narrative that husbands need to step up etc grates on me. I feel like I am doing all I can with depression meds, therapy, couples counselling and all roads eventually lead back to this place.

For me, what broke the camels back was seeing my wife asleep on the couch watching tv on my birthday promising a special night. Needless to say I went to bed frustrated and lonely and was given the “it’s not a big deal” treatment. This was juxtaposed by the magical birthday celebration she organised for her friends. It really puts a man in his place.

So this is why I’m just done with this relationship. But… I will keep doing it for the kids. I'd like to relate just one instance of mine on the importance of your presence to your kids. I have an interest in guitar n one time years ago, "son" was only 7 I was playing acoustic in bedroom,no unsettling noise at all. Son in his bed. Wife charges in n up me about disturbing "Son". Over the top and irrational response to say the least. "Son" calls out in response " Mum I like to hear Dad.... I know he's here if I can hear him."That reinforced everything in me not to mention the emotion welling up in me. In time if you have sons they become your mates. That is your reward !!!

[DayMan69]

OP, welcome to the age old world of men and women and completely different biological purposes. We're animals with intellects that strive to give ourselves purpose, when really, our purpose is to propagate the species. This means that women, once they've achieved that purpose, no longer have the strong urge to mate and bear children. Sure, they like sex, but not with you. You don't help out around the house enough, you react badly to nagging and a never-ending chores list. You drink too much and don't listen to her needs. You're not in touch with your emotions and you don't have ESP.

Maybe there are brilliant life long marriages out there where partners are best friends and get it on weekly. Maybe, but they're unicorn relationships i think.

You can't fix her. You can only fix you. And the simplest fix of all is punting. It takes the endless pressure of 'maybe tonight's the night'' off the table. You'll be amazed at how much stress this relieves. You can then focus on your kids and your social life. Focus on pulling in enough money to create a good life and a good retirement. Continue to be a decent man at home. Don't be an aggressive dick. Listen to her, let her blow up at whatever this week's drama is. It'll all be water off a ducks back because you, you legend, had outstanding sex with a 8/10 26 year old thai chick two days ago and your back is still sore.

Divorce is expensive. Life is short. Punt hard and relax.

[Spanky69]

It still gets down to supporting a woman. Punt all you like but why support a woman who doesn’t “put up”. Fuck her off. It’s way way easier for any guy to get a woman than a woman to get a guy.

Who cares how much divorce costs.

Even at my age if I was in a divorce situation I’d blow every dollar in the courts so she gets nothing. Then start again with a clean slate.

I’m more than confident to start with zero dollars and go again. Sometimes freedom Is worth every cent you have.

I cannot believe there are guys on here who would rather stick with a woman who does nothing sexually, then go and pay for sex.

[Axeman123]

Basically just don't want or need anything from someone who can't or won't give. Find your contentment outside of that.

[andrewv]

It still gets down to supporting a woman. Punt all you like but why support a woman who doesn’t “put up”. Fuck her off. It’s way way easier for any guy to get a woman than a woman to get a guy.

Who cares how much divorce costs.

Even at my age if I was in a divorce situation I’d blow every dollar in the courts so she gets nothing. Then start again with a clean slate.

I’m more than confident to start with zero dollars and go again. Sometimes freedom Is worth every cent you have.

I cannot believe there are guys on here who would rather stick with a woman who does nothing sexually, then go and pay for sex.

How old are you @Spanky69?
Many of us are not young enough to go down to zero and start all over again —

[Axeman123]

It still gets down to supporting a woman. Punt all you like but why support a woman who doesn’t “put up”. Fuck her off. It’s way way easier for any guy to get a woman than a woman to get a guy.

Who cares how much divorce costs.

Even at my age if I was in a divorce situation I’d blow every dollar in the courts so she gets nothing. Then start again with a clean slate.

I’m more than confident to start with zero dollars and go again. Sometimes freedom Is worth every cent you have.

I cannot believe there are guys on here who would rather stick with a woman who does nothing sexually, then go and pay for sex. There's something about a "MAN" Iiving up to his responsibilities. His family is "HIS" family. It's who he is..,. it's what makes him.

[Spanky69]

How old are you @Spanky69?
Many of us are not young enough to go down to zero and start all over again —

Ohhh my age, it’s a number. Irrelevant really. I’m decades older than the women I date and I wouldn’t have it any other way, that’s enough information.

It’s about motivation, drive, ambition and work ethic. Without those you can be any age and fail.

To quote Rocky:

You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward…

Never give in.

[Axeman123]

Ohhh my age, it’s a number. Irrelevant really. I’m decades older than the women I date and I wouldn’t have it any other way, that’s enough information about me.

It’s about motivation, drive, ambition and work ethic. Without those you can be any age and fail.

To quote Rocky:

You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward…

Never give in. Apply that to a marriage and put sex in its place. You'll find that as enjoyable as it is there's so much more.

[Spanky69]

Apply that to a marriage and put sex in its place. You'll find that as enjoyable as it is there's so much more.

Marriage is a support scam for who? Women.

Men do not need to be married.

A mistress and a housekeeper is all you need.

[Spanky69]

Roll forward to the future.

Humans will be manufactured in incubators.

There will be no need for a matriarchal breeding wife. What then, still want to get married?

[halfway]

Wait till you put having sex with her out of your mind.One day she will think why are you not trying anymore ? She will want it and when you are not interested the fireworks will start:shout:
Been there done that.
Lucky we have an outlet.

[Double_Adapter]

It’s way way easier for any guy to get a woman than a woman to get a guy.
.

You mean it's easier for men to marry whoever/whenever they want, but women whenever they can.

But it's also easier for women to fuck whoever/whenever they want, but men whenever they can.

......punting dismantles the 2nd rule (ie unless you're Indian)

[Spanky69]

You mean it's easier for men to marry whoever/whenever they want, but women whenever they can.

But it's also easier for women to fuck whoever/whenever they want, but men whenever they can.

......punting dismantles the 2nd rule (ie unless you're Indian)

Who is on first, what’s on second and I don’t know is on third. I know having a threesome complicates things but surely you can “manage a trois”… in case no one gets the joke ménage was deliberately written as manage.

Getting back to the post, make every post a winner. How many old guys do you see dating young women and why haven’t they stuck with an old boiler?

[Jim_cs]

At the end of the day, it boils down to this.

Wife asks: emotional connection, trust, friendship.

My response: All perfectly reasonable asks for a healthy marriage which I oblige to.

Husband: physical touch, sex, intimacy.

Wife response: is that all you want from me? Why are you always complaining about that.

That in a nutshell is why it just doesnÂ’t work.

[11Bravo]

There's something about a "MAN" Iiving up to his responsibilities. His family is "HIS" family. It's who he is..,. it's what makes him.

Well said. While some here might think "HIS" is an ownership thing, others view it with pride.

And then you have the "end game". To those who think it's just a simple matter of getting "another", sure, as long as the money remains AND as long as you can get out of bed. When either of those end, then you might be in for a rude awakening as to what your value is and how much emotional equity you have with her.

[Spanky69]

And then you have the "end game". To those who think it's just a simple matter of getting "another", sure, as long as the money remains AND as long as you can get out of bed. When either of those end, then you might be in for a rude awakening as to what your value is and how much emotional equity you have with her.

11Bravo acknowledge this post or not but any guy who STAYS in a relationship because he’s worried about the endgame is not living in the now but the future.

Getting out of bed is a lifestyle choice. Don’t eat correctly, don’t exercise, then you only have yourself to blame. Most people hit an AGE a number and it’s downhill from there. It’s about your glass being half full and not half empty. I see it every day. It’s a mindset.

There are billions of people on this planet. Don’t think like the rest of them.

[B0nkers]

Well, I'm going through a divorce right now. I know I'll be so much happier in the future. Right now, it fucking sucks. Before you get out you need to not use a card of any sort for payment for 12 Months. Even if it's supposedly amicable, someone who I thought would be somewhat fair, will try and take you for everything! I'm paying everything for the ex, including mortgage, bills, school fees my rent and bills. I don't have enough for food someday.
Then you'll get the biggest surprise thinking your innocent, nieve ex has been seeing others. No amount of councilling will help you come to terms with how you've been telling them that they need to contribute to the relationship just a little and they do nothing except live their best life while you slug it out.
IT'S NOT FUN.
I may sound like a sour old cunt, because I am. But watch what they turn into when it starts. It's not pretty.

[Spanky69]

You must be going Bonkers !

[B0nkers]

Fuck you're funny. Idiot

[Spanky69]

I post for fun, you post because you’re serious. Now who is the idiot?

Take control of your destiny and do something about it, don’t be a piece of lint in the washing machine of life, getting tossed and turned around, then rinsed of all your money before being flushed out on the waste cycle.

Help yourself because no one else will.

[AHLUNGOR]

Thanks for the input friends.

Gym - yes and it feels great.
Hobbies - Yeap, helping me keep my mind occupied
Kids - we both would do everything in the world to avoid any emotional harm with what’s going on.
Couples counselling - Yeap, for more than a year. It was good at first but then slowly deteriorates back to the unhappy place.

I can emphatise and feel for anyone going through this. It’s a hard one because I want to keep the peace.

It’s one thing to invest all our time in the kids which we do. We recognise that our relationship suffers and both realise we need to work on it but nothing changes. It especially hurts when I do see her give more attention to her friends more than our relationship but I think it’s time I realise she’s just not into our relationship anymore. It’s a hard one because she should be happy and maintain her friendships and I want that for her. But it’s especially hard when we have spoken about both our needs and I feel like mine aren’t heard.

I feel like I’m a bad person for wanting sex and intimacy in our relationship. She wants emotional connection which is great, and we have that. But that connection dissolves and I hide away. Kinda feel like a pathetic man and husband when I dont have the connection I need.

Hi Jim,

On a punters point of view I assume your finances is ok as the two private Latina you were asking before were both $550 per hour.

Did your Mrs used to look like them ? Or she still is. From the way you said you are still very keen at home but getting nothing, I assume she is still desirable ?

If so, I think you need to work on it, you said she gave more attention to her friends but not at home, are there any male friends? You sure she is not having any affairs outside ?

One more point, when you said it’s a sexless relationship now, is it absolutely Zero at home ? Like the last time she let you was 400+ days ago ?

Or you are still get some once a few months ?

And under what circumstances were you successfully? A happy moment like birthdays, anniversaries, Xmas or Valentines Day ? Or when you kids did something or achieved something worth celebrating? If any of the above did or still happens , there might still be hope ?

Otherwise, keeping the status quote and enjoy your punting could be the most economical and “safe” option,

Just my 2 cents.

Good luck mate

Cheers

Ps, you should start posting reviews too, it might even cheer yourself up…….. haha

[Spanky69]

Hey brothers not sure why I’m writing this, but I think I need an outlet. Long time punter due to being in a sexless relationship. Love my kids but the wife is cold at times and doesn’t provide me with what I need. It’s been years of broken promises that things will change, feeling like our relationship is de prioritised, and countless hours of counselling that just leads to the same issues again.

So I’m stuck in a marriage that I want to keep for the kids, but I punt to keep it purely transactional and don’t want any strings with relationships. From a physical perspective it helps a lot and keeps me sane and the marriage in tact for now.

I do feel like this is a temporary fix until the kids are grown up and I can leave the marriage. This feels like such a horrible way to live life. Thanks for reading.

I know plenty of guys who have been in exactly the same situation. Though my mates tend to have affairs and not punt which is a riskier way of doing things if your GF on the side wants more.

Counselling gets you nowhere. You cannot have someone telling you how you should run your life and then pay them for that advice! What makes them wiser than you, a degree? Most of them are fucked up anyway, I’d guarantee it.

Just find a hobby that interests you and devote your thoughts to that and not your wife. I’d still be punting though as guys need that.

[AHLUNGOR]

A mistress and a housekeeper is all you need.

Sounds like a Japanese AV genre, especially when the mistress and the housekeeper are Always naked in your presence and ready to fuck, and also always has natural big tits…….. haha

[AHLUNGOR]

Is the 4 wives system still legal and happening in the Muslim world ?

[AHLUNGOR]

At the end of the day, it boils down to this.


Wife asks: emotional connection, trust, friendship.

My response: All perfectly reasonable asks for a healthy marriage which I oblige to.

Husband: physical touch, sex, intimacy.

Wife response: is that all you want from me? Why are you always complaining about that.

That in a nutshell is why it just doesnÂ’t work.

Hey brother Jim,

You mind sharing a bit more about your financial situation?

Sounds like your family is very well off and your wife never has to worry about cost of living , is she at least once a week visiting the beauty salon kind of housewife ?

[Spanky69]

Sounds like a Japanese AV genre, especially when the mistress and the housekeeper are Always naked in your presence and ready to fuck, and also always has natural big tits…….. haha

Tits are nice.

Some stats regarding divorce.

ML’s have a 38% divorce rate.


https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/#:~:text=Almost%2050%20percent%20of%20all,first%20 marriages%20end%20in%20divorce.

[Spanky69]

The stats don’t look good for most people.

[woodland]

Well, I'm going through a divorce right now. I know I'll be so much happier in the future. Right now, it fucking sucks. Before you get out you need to not use a card of any sort for payment for 12 Months. Even if it's supposedly amicable, someone who I thought would be somewhat fair, will try and take you for everything! I'm paying everything for the ex, including mortgage, bills, school fees my rent and bills. I don't have enough for food someday.
Then you'll get the biggest surprise thinking your innocent, nieve ex has been seeing others. No amount of councilling will help you come to terms with how you've been telling them that they need to contribute to the relationship just a little and they do nothing except live their best life while you slug it out.
IT'S NOT FUN.
I may sound like a sour old cunt, because I am. But watch what they turn into when it starts. It's not pretty.

That's tough mate
What do you mean by " Before you get out you need to not use a card of any sort for payment for 12 Months. "

If your ex keeps the house but you're paying for the mortgage, how does that work when it comes to splitting the asset? Do you still get your name on the house - despite she's living there with the kids?

[GoldfishMan]

That's tough mate
What do you mean by " Before you get out you need to not use a card of any sort for payment for 12 Months. "

If your ex keeps the house but you're paying for the mortgage, how does that work when it comes to splitting the asset? Do you still get your name on the house - despite she's living there with the kids?

I think what he meant was, do not get caught splashing money for your personal entertainment or giving money to a mistress, etc (ie. Any money spent not for the benefit of the family) in the lead up to the divorce.

There have been cases where a husband was successfully accused of knowing that he was going to get a divorce and was actively "plundering" his own finances in the lead up to the divorce. I think in those cases, it would've backfired badly on him because the total wealth split would exclude those monies spent... He ends up having to take them on from his own share of the split.

[Spanky69]

Most women know exactly how much they can claw off their partner. It’s factored down to a percentage, great isn’t it.

[L_Kun]

bro jim_cs, your post hits so close to home. I was having this exact argument with my missus tonight. Especially your comment about the false promises. I'm also tired of waiting. There is always a new excuse as to why it never happens.

it stings especially when you complain, they might go 'fine you want it then lets get it over with' and that's not what you wanted. Is it that much to ask for, to re-enact a sweet moment from the past where you couldn't keep your hands off each other? I don't know, i would make an effort if I knew something was important to her. Sorry to hi-jack with my sob story, but basically just wanted to say I feel you brother.

[Axeman123]

bro jim_cs, your post hits so close to home. I was having this exact argument with my missus tonight. Especially your comment about the false promises. I'm also tired of waiting. There is always a new excuse as to why it never happens.

it stings especially when you complain, they might go 'fine you want it then lets get it over with' and that's not what you wanted. Is it that much to ask for, to re-enact a sweet moment from the past where you couldn't keep your hands off each other? I don't know, i would make an effort if I knew something was important to her. Sorry to hi-jack with my sob story, but basically just wanted to say I feel you brother. It takes this forum to realise what a widespread issue this really is. For any bloke looking to bail , the wife's greatest ally is the damn Government.

[kpopcity]

as someone who is approaching the marriage age - im guessing advice from blokes here is to avoid marriage at all costs then?

:shout:

[Double_Adapter]

as someone who is approaching the marriage age - im guessing advice from blokes here is to avoid marriage at all costs then?

:shout:

The advice is simple 'caveat empor'.

I'm certain that unicorn marriages do exist but they are few and far between. The advice most blokes will give you is to be extra selective and to vet the chick thoroughly before putting your (small and big) head on the guillotine, as many before you have suffered public beheadings and private castrations.

Use the same vetting techniques you use for WLs when selecting your potential wife. Eg if the WL offers dfk then it's guaranteed she has dfk'd a hundred other blokes. If the WL rims you then it's guaranteed she has rimmed fifty other blokes (all shapes, colours and sizes), and if she offers bareback then it's guaranteed she has been raw dogged by twenty other blokes.

[kpopcity]

The advice is simple 'caveat empor'.

I'm certain that unicorn marriages do exist but they are few and far between. The advice most blokes will give you is to be extra selective and to vet the chick thoroughly before putting your (small and big) head on the guillotine, as many before you have suffered public beheadings and private castrations.

Use the same vetting techniques you use for WLs when selecting your potential wife. Eg if the WL offers dfk then it's guaranteed she has dfk'd a hundred other blokes. If the WL rims you then it's guaranteed she has rimmed fifty other blokes (all shapes, colours and sizes), and if she offers bareback then it's guaranteed she has been raw dogged by twenty other blokes.

Very tempted to keep on living the single life and banging young (and milfs) hotties around Sydney and the world. However, there is a bit of peer pressure as I attend weddings and seeing my mates all getting hitched and have kids.

They always ask why I don't date a girl, settle down and get married (they don't participate in punting themselves) - they cant comprehend it. Unbeknownst to them, I just had my dick sucked and ass rimmed by a hot vietnamese ML.

So yea on the fence for this one :eek:

[JJBlows]

Curious to know if any bros here were ble to protect themselves in divorce and force a fair mediation

[andrewv]

Curious to know if any bros here were ble to protect themselves in divorce and force a fair mediation

If there are kids under 18 involved, men don’t stand a chance.

If no kids, each partner can take out what they put in.

If wife gave up her career for a while to support the family as a housewife, husband would lose a lot as compensation.

Ideal situation is to marry a woman who makes more money than you and brings in more assets than you at the start of the marriage.

[JJBlows]

If there are kids under 18 involved, men don’t stand a chance.

If no kids, each partner can take out what they put in.

If wife gave up her career for a while to support the family as a housewife, husband would lose a lot as compensation.

Ideal situation is to marry a woman who makes more money than you and brings in more assets than you at the start of the marriage.

So marry a ML/WL, be a stay at home dad and then just randomly divorced her and take some of her overseas assets??

I'd be curious to know how assets in a family trust with siblings as all equal owners would hold up in courts.

Thing is nowadays girls are getting worse and don't bring much in at all in a relationship, even the traditional stay at home values are out the window.

[Spanky69]

I'd be curious to know how assets in a family trust with siblings as all equal owners would hold up in court.

Or even just one beneficiary, yourself.

My first date with a WL recently and one of the questions she asked me was, “Are your assets in a trust”? I thought ffs considering she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed where did she get that question from? Yeah of course they are I told her.

Even though the sex is good I’m almost ready to drop her too as I’ve found a few grey area lies. It seems they all have baggage of some sort. Nexxxt ! At least I’m not hung up on one.

[kpopcity]

Or even just one beneficiary, yourself.

My first date with a WL recently and one of the questions she asked me was, “Are your assets in a trust”? I thought ffs considering she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed where did she get that question from? Yeah of course they are I told her.

Even though the sex is good I’m almost ready to drop her too as I’ve found a few grey area lies. It seems they all have baggage of some sort. Nexxxt ! At least I’m not hung up on one.

you must be a rich man if a girl asks you that on the first date

[tkicks]

I have been happily married for 27 years but I would still advise the single blokes on her NEVER NEVER get married everything is stacked against the man especially the retarded divorce laws in Anglo countries that are so stacked against men.

To the ones that are married...take out some insurance because however sweet they started out they are going to go bad one day.....tuck money away as often as you can ...hide out where it can never be found and handed over in the divorce split

[Spanky69]

you must be a rich man if a girl asks you that on the first date

Unless someone put her up to it. She cries poor but isn't. She told a story, it was believable and I checked it out and it was a half truth. I wondered if the date that she agreed to was at the behest of a third party. So now I’ve backed off, why dance with the devil.

[GoldfishMan]

Curious to know if any bros here were ble to protect themselves in divorce and force a fair mediation

Well, it really depends on what you call "fair", no?

And when you say "protect yourself", I'm assuming you mean protect your assets and finances. The first step in doing that is to minimize the use of lawyers as much as possible. If you can talk to her and work it out among yourselves, that's the first win you can get.

Now let's say you haven't used lawyers, all the money stays in the family. Now comes the split. If we go by the book, divorce law in Australia is actually quite fair. Assets are split right through the middle. One spouse pays the other spousal support depending on which one does or does not work. Once the other spouse gets remarried, the spousal support ends.

Child support is allocated based on your percentage of care towards the child. In other words, if you don't want to put in the hard work to look after a child, you pay for it. I think that's fair. The only part that may not be fair about it is how the courts give custody of the child. In that regard, the woman definitely has the upper hand.

Of course, there are women who don't want the burden of raising a child. Then you don't have to pay for any child support because you'll be the primary carer.

Now here's the part that you might find unsavoury. The scenario is if you have spent a good chunk of your money on punting or mistresses, the divorce happens, and then your ex finds out about it. She could then say that you've been plundering the family coffers for your own benefit and therefore, you should cover for those monies from your share. If you think about it real hard, that's actually fair. Fucking around is not a good thing for a marriage. It feels like shit to be in that position, but unfortunately from a neutral standpoint it is the fairest outcome.

[GoldfishMan]

as someone who is approaching the marriage age - im guessing advice from blokes here is to avoid marriage at all costs then?

:shout:

No, my advise is to choose very carefully. Not just marriage but before that, who you date and go into a serious relationship with.

Make sure that you choose someone who you will lust for even years and decades later. This is the number 1 criteria. The last thing you want is to get bored of her and want to get out. Then you've really screwed yourself over.

The other important things to look for are really up to you.

[GoldfishMan]

The advice is simple 'caveat empor'.

I'm certain that unicorn marriages do exist but they are few and far between. The advice most blokes will give you is to be extra selective and to vet the chick thoroughly before putting your (small and big) head on the guillotine, as many before you have suffered public beheadings and private castrations.

Use the same vetting techniques you use for WLs when selecting your potential wife. Eg if the WL offers dfk then it's guaranteed she has dfk'd a hundred other blokes. If the WL rims you then it's guaranteed she has rimmed fifty other blokes (all shapes, colours and sizes), and if she offers bareback then it's guaranteed she has been raw dogged by twenty other blokes.

Lol, I wouldn't vet them like WLs. You only stay with WLs 30mins - hours at a time. Easy come and easy go.

[massage addict]

This is the best thread in years!

I have only been getting once every 2 to 3 weeks for years now. Its always just "ok" and just puts out to keep me happy. Not like pre kids where she would get into it. Fuck since kids she has let me go done on her a few times and thats because i didn't take no for an answer. There is just no effort on her part.

So, i am another cunt in marriage with no sex.

[Double_Adapter]

Lol, I wouldn't vet them like WLs. You only stay with WLs 30mins - hours at a time. Easy come and easy go.

That's exactly my point bro, blokes will go through a whole bunch of prerequisites and selection criteria in order to find the right shop, the right chick, at the right price for the right root, but when it comes to marrying a stranger for life they settle for the first chick that comes along with legs wide open - the concept is fucked!

If the chick is a stunner and still single, something ain't right.
If the chick has no fucken respect for her brothers, sisters or parents, then she won't have any respect for her future husband.
If the chick's mother is a nagging 400lb cow, the odds of the chick turning out that way is fucking high (almost guaranteed).
If the chick is a drama queen, has expensive tastes, and is high maintenance while being single it's guaranteed that she'll be fucken high maintenance when she's married.
If the chick can't fucken root, cook, clean, iron, wash, mow the lawn, get beer from the fridge, save money etc then there's no fucken way that she'll change once she's married.

[Spanky69]

That's exactly my point bro, blokes will go through a whole bunch of prerequisites and selection criteria in order to find the right shop, the right chick, at the right price for the right root, but when it comes to marrying a stranger for life they settle for the first chick that comes along with legs wide open - the concept is fucked!

If the chick is a stunner and still single, something ain't right.
If the chick has no fucken respect for her brothers, sisters or parents, then she won't have any respect for her future husband.
If the chick's mother is a nagging 400lb cow, the odds of the chick turning out that way is fucking high (almost guaranteed).
If the chick is a drama queen, has expensive tastes, and is high maintenance while being single it's guaranteed that she'll be fucken high maintenance when she's married.
If the chick can't fucken root, cook, clean, iron, wash, mow the lawn, get beer from the fridge, save money etc then there's no fucken way that she'll change once she's married.

This is a very valid post.

She also needs to stop talking to her girlfriends, get off social media, stop watching TV and always look and be dressed like a porn star and grant her husband free access 24/7 even if she’s asleep!

Hopefully that covers everything.

[Jamez11]

This is a very valid post.

She also needs to stop talking to her girlfriends, get off social media, stop watching TV and always look and be dressed like a porn star and grant her husband free access 24/7 even if she’s asleep!

Hopefully that covers everything.

If she wears too much perfume, she’s trying to attract the next alpha male and she’s a slut, if she doesn’t wear enough, she doesn’t care about herself and a women needs to be pristine AT ALL TIMES! Dump her

If she eats a sausage roll in less than 3 bites, she’s a slut PERIOD! If she eats it over 6 bites, she’s a prude or just waiting for the next alpha sausage roll!!!

If she has slept with over one guy, she’s a slut! As a man, if you haven’t paid to be with over 50 women… you’re a beta…

Is she mentions another males name around you, she’s fucking him… and yes, this includes the names of family members… These hoe’s can’t be trusted!!!

Just remember women aren’t human beings, with their own thoughts, feelings and aspirations. They’re just for projecting own insecurities and mummy issues onto.

Stay focused boys!!!!

[dotcumdotinyou]

The system worked for me JJ. After mediation with the registrar I ended with a 60/40 split in my favour. Even with 3 girls I offered the house and nothing else, her lawyers refused the registrar told them that she'd note their refusal of a more than adequate offer and send it back for the judge to rule but told them in no uncertain words that it may well end up 70/30 to me. When they heard that they accepted the offer and the papers were signed and stamped within the hour.

Child support is also fair, I get the girls every weekend and half the school holidays and I pay for all their medical expenses, half of all school expenses, that gets put into a formula and child support send me an assessment of how much I have to pay.

So, I think the outcome was and is more than fair.

[Spanky69]

If she wears too much perfume, she’s trying to attract the next alpha male and she’s a slut, if she doesn’t wear enough, she doesn’t care about herself and a women needs to be pristine AT ALL TIMES! Dump her

If she eats a sausage roll in less than 3 bites, she’s a slut PERIOD! If she eats it over 6 bites, she’s a prude or just waiting for the next alpha sausage roll!!!

If she has slept with over one guy, she’s a slut! As a man, if you haven’t paid to be with over 50 women… you’re a beta…

Is she mentions another males name around you, she’s fucking him… and yes, this includes the names of family members… These hoe’s can’t be trusted!!!

Just remember women aren’t human beings, with their own thoughts, feelings and aspirations. They’re just for projecting own insecurities and mummy issues onto.

Stay focused boys!!!!

That’s a bit extreme, the mummy issues comment bit hard!

[Double_Adapter]

That’s a bit extreme, the mummy issues comment bit hard!

Mummy issues, yeah up until a few years/decades ago.
Chicks of today suffer from daddy issues.

[Spanky69]

Mummy issues, yeah up until a few years/decades ago.
Chicks of today suffer from daddy issues.

Strange you say that, I have two I know that do exactly just that. Guys look at me like “why are you having in-depth conversations with these blondes”. Both very attractive and thirty plus years younger. I’m tempted to go further but concerned of possible blowback.

[ColesBag]

you must be a rich man if a girl asks you that on the first date

He's full of shit.

[Spanky69]

He's full of shit.

Of course I am.

If I remember correctly you’ve already been burned by a WL or was it a ML? Anyway the minutiae is irrelevant just the fact you’ve been burned, are a sour old puss and a “doubting thomas”. I may have wasted money on one ML who didn’t produce the goods but I give away more than that to destitute people so it’s irrelevant.

Anyway are you up for another challenge?

A SW lunch date.

I’ll bring one of my women and you bring one of yours. I’ll even pay for the lunch. I’m curious to see if you’re up for it. Remember mine get looked at so make sure you bring someone suitable.

Yep I’m full of shit, now prove me wrong.

[Harp0]

Of course I am.

If I remember correctly you’ve already been burned by a WL or was it a ML? Anyway the minutiae is irrelevant just the fact you’ve been burned, are a sour old puss and a “doubting thomas”. I may have wasted money on one ML who didn’t produce the goods but I give away more than that to destitute people so it’s irrelevant.

Anyway are you up for another challenge?

A SW lunch date.

I’ll bring one of my women and you bring one of yours. I’ll even pay for the lunch. I’m curious to see if you’re up for it. Remember mine get looked at so make sure you bring someone suitable.

Yep I’m full of shit, now prove me wrong.

How many different profiles have you had in this forum Vinnie?

[Spanky69]

How many different profiles have you had in this forum Vinnie?

Maybe six banned? I cannot remember. There’s another four or so to be activated. Plus a couple sitting idle. The numbers are approximate as I’m too busy to really care.

It’s irrelevant. What’s more important is the fact I have three SW on the go plus a GF. They’re my number one concern. They’re all “finicky” and I cannot tar them with the same brush. Perhaps it’s the age difference, not physical as I’m in good shape but mental age difference. They are all younger by at least two decades. Maybe that’s a reason?

I’m too controlling and I’m told I overthink.

One mate told me I should date J girls as they are more subservient, which I have done previously but I do like Thai women for their nature, Anyway I’ve kinda bailed on activities with the guys as I don’t have the time and now I’m getting flak for that. It’s all about priorities and what makes you happy. Besides I’d rather spend time with women than a bunch of guys.

Getting back to forum profiles I know a core group of Aussie guys here run multiple accounts. They even go as far as masking their personality on each account so they present as different people. I can only hope it’s financially worth it.

[Jim_cs]

Thanks brothers for sharing your thoughts. It’s really a common problem with marriage and I’ve come to peace with it.

Stay strong and look after yourselves.

[Abracadabra]

Well, it really depends on what you call "fair", no?

And when you say "protect yourself", I'm assuming you mean protect your assets and finances. The first step in doing that is to minimize the use of lawyers as much as possible. If you can talk to her and work it out among yourselves, that's the first win you can get.

Now let's say you haven't used lawyers, all the money stays in the family. Now comes the split. If we go by the book, divorce law in Australia is actually quite fair. Assets are split right through the middle. One spouse pays the other spousal support depending on which one does or does not work. Once the other spouse gets remarried, the spousal support ends.

Child support is allocated based on your percentage of care towards the child. In other words, if you don't want to put in the hard work to look after a child, you pay for it. I think that's fair. The only part that may not be fair about it is how the courts give custody of the child. In that regard, the woman definitely has the upper hand.

Of course, there are women who don't want the burden of raising a child. Then you don't have to pay for any child support because you'll be the primary carer.

Now here's the part that you might find unsavoury. The scenario is if you have spent a good chunk of your money on punting or mistresses, the divorce happens, and then your ex finds out about it. She could then say that you've been plundering the family coffers for your own benefit and therefore, you should cover for those monies from your share. If you think about it real hard, that's actually fair. Fucking around is not a good thing for a marriage. It feels like shit to be in that position, but unfortunately from a neutral standpoint it is the fairest outcome.

Nah, my 4 year experience some 10 years ago was a blight on Australia's family law court and how it allowed my wife's lawyers to distort and apply ridiculous provisions and assertions in the discovery process associated with a property settlement.

I was still located overseas when the process began and it became apparent early, and was in fact said to me by my lawyers, that the perception would be I had the ability to have money squirreled away all over the world and the really stressful and worrying aspect of it was I had to prove it wasn't the case.

In the asset base assessment my ex-wifes lawyers came up with an amount of $750k that they said was consistent with my position and which hadn't been included despite the numbers not adding up overall.
They contended I had likely received unlisted bonuses and incentives, that were not listed, despite being unwilling to engage with my overseas employer where they would have needed a language translator and need to do some work.
This deemed amount wouldn't go away in numerous court appearances and I was held as not meeting disclosure requirements.

I recall one mediation session where I had walked in with 2 wheely bags and a backpack of disclosure documents and analysis.....and my ex wife sailed in with her hand bag. At lunch time, she and her lawyers went out to a restaurant while I was left to work through defending and refuting a series of questions that had little foundation but which were designed to pressure me into accepting a 60/40 settlement before final court appearance.

It was a stressful and appalling situation, characterised by the "Friday email bombardment" ....at 5 pm on most Fridays I would receive a series of emails containing numerous questions requiring answers in what was usually a short deadline.

It all resolved fortunately when my case was assigned to a new judge, who I was told was "good" for us, which in itself was a concern, but who took a different, fairer approach to disclosure and my ex-wifes lawyers were forced to front up!

Sorry, a long regurgitation!
10 years ago and still angers me!

[GoldfishMan]

Thanks for sharing your experience, bro Abracadabra. I guess at the end of the day, it depends on how wicked your ex-wife was, how far you would go to defend your rights, and most importantly, how much is at stake.

In my case, I wasn't rich. I'm not a millionaire with lots of assets to be divided with the ex. So it was impossible to justify incurring the legal costs to defend the little money that was at stake. I would've spent a big chunk of what she was asking for on the lawyers. So I just gave her what she wanted. We're still very good friends to this day.

[kayofa]

A good woman doesn't keep her options open. She will test your patience but not your loyalty, if she really wants you to be the one she will first be the one for you.

The problem with women these days is that they're treating relationships as if it's a job. Many "dating advice" from women are derived from job seeking advices which is stupid. And this is why you get sexless marriages. It's like a jobseeker who lied on their CVs, got hired and end up behaving like clowns - most sexless marriages are caused by wives who lied about their caringness and end up throwing bitch fits as soon as they're married.

There's no good dating or marriage advice out there but there is an advice I found works in many long lasting marriages - the couples who don't fight (or throw bitch fits) are the ones who last. They may get cheated on by each other but because none of them throw bitch fits like clowns, they're more likely to forgive one another and resume the relationship.

Spanky69 unfortunately can't shake off his bitch fits, acting like a clown the whole time in real life and online. Sad to see an older person behaving like that, many nursing homes houses demented old folks who throw bitch fits 24/7.

[kayofa]

Maybe six banned? I cannot remember. There’s another four or so to be activated. Plus a couple sitting idle. The numbers are approximate as I’m too busy to really care.

It’s irrelevant. What’s more important is the fact I have three SW on the go plus a GF. They’re my number one concern. They’re all “finicky” and I cannot tar them with the same brush. Perhaps it’s the age difference, not physical as I’m in good shape but mental age difference. They are all younger by at least two decades. Maybe that’s a reason?

I’m too controlling and I’m told I overthink.

One mate told me I should date J girls as they are more subservient, which I have done previously but I do like Thai women for their nature, Anyway I’ve kinda bailed on activities with the guys as I don’t have the time and now I’m getting flak for that. It’s all about priorities and what makes you happy. Besides I’d rather spend time with women than a bunch of guys.

Getting back to forum profiles I know a core group of Aussie guys here run multiple accounts. They even go as far as masking their personality on each account so they present as different people. I can only hope it’s financially worth it.

This post screams a clown who would throw bitch fits as soon as someone forgets their birthday as karma for making others purposely forgetting other people's birthdays as a "dating advice".

Like a monkey who just can't figure out the reflection in the lake is his own and not another monkey mimicking his moves.

[Spanky69]

This post screams a clown who would throw bitch fits as soon as someone forgets their birthday as karma for making others purposely forgetting other people's birthdays as a "dating advice".

Like a monkey who just can't figure out the reflection in the lake is his own and not another monkey mimicking his moves.

I’m hopeless with dates, everyday is the same. Your point is lost on me. It means nothing, you mean nothing, now do you understand where I am coming from?

[ColesBag]

What a window licker.

[11Bravo]

Like a monkey who just can't figure out the reflection in the lake is his own and not another monkey mimicking his moves.Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. RESPECT.


This post screams a clown who would throw bitch fits as soon as someone forgets their birthday as karma for making others purposely forgetting other people's birthdays as a "dating advice".
Myself, I do have trouble with dates, but... the calendar on my smart phone covers that gap very nicely. Single event, scheduled annually... QED.

Guess I'm just lazy, no doubt, but TOO much trouble to have multiple accounts. Sure, e-mail, a personal, another or 2 for signups, but forums... WeChat... Line... just too much trouble to keep track of. Is it THAT hard to stay within the rather generous lines... Guess I'm just guilty of the sin of hubris... but I stand by my posts, and I don't mind being known for them, liked or disliked.

[Spanky69]

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. RESPECT.


Myself, I do have trouble with dates, but... the calendar on my smart phone covers that gap very nicely. Single event, scheduled annually... QED.

Guess I'm just lazy, no doubt, but TOO much trouble to have multiple accounts. Sure, e-mail, a personal, another or 2 for signups, but forums... WeChat... Line... just too much trouble to keep track of. Is it THAT hard to stay within the rather generous lines... Guess I'm just guilty of the sin of hubris... but I stand by my posts, and I don't mind being known for them, liked or disliked.

Who cares where you stand, do you feel intimidated? You shouldn’t be. Just for your info el Blocko I’ve now started up with an additional SW this morning. That makes four Thai’s on the go now lol. Luckily they’re all scattered around Sydney and don’t work together. Perhaps I should learn a few words?

Yes she’s Thai and even though we’d been chatting I completely forgot about her these last two months. Lo and behold she messaged me and she’s only 15 min away. I couldn’t believe my luck. I thought she’d gone OS but no. It’s just her bio that says Phuket. Anyway she’ll either percolate on the back burner or I’ll bring her up to the front of the stove.
Decisions decisions. One ML (guess who) and three WLs.

Hell even my mate was shocked when I sent him
her pic this morning. Perhaps times are tough and even though I am what I am I still seem to be fortunate. Better the devil she knows, right?

[Spanky69]

What a window licker.
Perhaps you could get a job at AusPost.

[Harp0]

[QUOTE=Spanky69;3062434]Maybe six banned? I cannot remember. There’s another four or so to be activated. Plus a couple sitting idle. The numbers are approximate as I’m too busy to really care.

It’s irrelevant. What’s more important is the fact I have three SW on the go plus a GF. They’re my number one concern. They’re all “finicky” and I cannot tar them with the same brush. Perhaps it’s the age difference, not physical as I’m in good shape but mental age difference. They are all younger by at least two decades. Maybe that’s a reason?

I’m too controlling and I’m told I overthink.

One mate told me I should date J girls as they are more subservient, which I have done previously but I do like Thai women for their nature, Anyway I’ve kinda bailed on activities with the guys as I don’t have the time and now I’m getting flak for that. It’s all about priorities and what makes you happy. Besides I’d rather spend time with women than a bunch of guys.

Getting back to forum profiles I know a core group of Aussie guys here run multiple accounts. They even go as far as masking their personality on each account so they present as different people. I can only hope it’s financially worth it.[/QUOTE

So you’ve had a dozen or so accounts on this forum.

[Spanky69]

So you’ve had a dozen or so accounts on this forum.

I’m not counting, you are. Some people count steps, other people count punts, I’ve stopped counting pretty much everything. No need. Why clutter your mind with useless information?

[dotcumdotinyou]

You're talking to yourself again vinnie

[Spanky69]

You're talking to yourself again vinnie

I only have two active accounts. Harpo isn’t one.

[Harp0]

[QUOTE=dotcumdotinyou;3065070]You're talking to yourself again vinnie[/QUOTE

Im definitely not Vinnie/Spanky or whatever other names he uses.

[Spanky69]

[QUOTE=dotcumdotinyou;3065070]You're talking to yourself again vinnie[/QUOTE

Im definitely not Vinnie/Spanky or whatever other names he uses.

To be be Vinnie or not to be Vinnie, that is the question!

[Footballpunter]

I’m not counting, you are. Some people count steps, other people count punts, I’ve stopped counting pretty much everything. No need. Why clutter your mind with useless information?

What’s really exhausting is you choose to write a whole paragraph just to say the word “no.”

[Spanky69]

What’s really exhausting is you choose to write a whole paragraph just to say the word “no.”

Rattling off a few extra words is neither here nor there in the overall scheme of things. I do because I can, others don’t because they cannot.

[Harp0]

[QUOTE=Harp0;3065906]

To be be Vinnie or not to be Vinnie, that is the question!

Yeah no thanks