Advice

[random punter]

Hey fellas

Need some insight/ advice.

Have a Mrs and a toddler and after having our daughter my Mrs had lost her sex drive. She's a good Mrs and mum but the minimal sex I get is starting to bother me.

Anyone else been in this situation?
Don't want to cheat but also don't know how long I can keep this up for

Cheers

[JJBlows]

she is probably exhausted from the toddler and house duties as she no longer have time for herself, plus she propably sees what she looks like when she is exhausted and doesnt feel or look sexy which affects her confidence etc.

and i once saw a post on reddit for AskWoman which was "whats makes your man instantly attractive" and.the.amount.of.comments from woman saying when a man does house chores without having to be asked or helping out around the house makes them want to treat him to a little sexy time because she wants to.

lifes hard and tough, everybody is tired but if you help each other out then things may get better.

ive got mates who are lebos and they do nothing for their wives and complain about this, my other mate actually helps his misses with two young daughters and him and his wife fuck all the time

[Blackmore898]

Just go for punting. In my opnion punting is not cheating.

[fnmfnmfnm]

Punting absolutely IS cheating. I’m not sure how flexible you need to be to do the mental gymnastics to bypass that fact, unless of course you ask permission and she’s ok with it.

I was in a similar situation to OP, and actually punted for the first time during this period. Unfortunately, now I’m borderline addicted given punting is a Pandora’s box - there’s always new young fit girls to fuck, always new sexual experiences available to you, just an ATM visit away.

My advice is don’t start something you might not be able to control, and certainly not if it’s something that can be solved over a simple conversation with your mrs

[sync3d3d]

Hey fellas

Need some insight/ advice.

Have a Mrs and a toddler and after having our daughter my Mrs had lost her sex drive. She's a good Mrs and mum but the minimal sex I get is starting to bother me.

Anyone else been in this situation?
Don't want to cheat but also don't know how long I can keep this up for

Cheers

Yes . A lot of men. Not all venture into punting but I do agree once you do it’s hard not to be drawn back into it!
I also agree raise it first with the missus first if you haven’t .
I did the whole thing of helping out a lot more , time alone, nice dinners but dies out after awhile.

[BPunter76]

Trying to fix a low libido Mrs is the epitome of pushing shit uphill, the fact of the matter is that you can't negotiate genuine desire. You could win lotto, get your Mrs a maid and a nanny, shower her with gifts etc and I garuntee you she still ain't gonna fuck you the way you want her too.You have a few choices, leave her and find someone else (costly and risky that the next Sheila is the same and stops putting out once she locks you down), stick it out and go around in circles never really being satisfied or having your needs met, or start punting on the side. Been there done that with the going around in circles thing and chose the punting option, not interested in another relationship with a woman, not interested in giving up all I've worked for and paying child support. Marriage is a scam anyone who does it more than once is a moron.

[trampslikeus55]

Trying to fix a low libido Mrs is the epitome of pushing shit uphill, the fact of the matter is that you can't negotiate genuine desire. You could win lotto, get your Mrs a maid and a nanny, shower her with gifts etc and I garuntee you she still ain't gonna fuck you the way you want her too.You have a few choices, leave her and find someone else (costly and risky that the next Sheila is the same and stops putting out once she locks you down), stick it out and go around in circles never really being satisfied or having your needs met, or start punting on the side. Been there done that with the going around in circles thing and chose the punting option, not interested in another relationship with a woman, not interested in giving up all I've worked for and paying child support. Marriage is a scam anyone who does it more than once is a moron.
I think I feel your pain. Take care and keep well 👍

[SmithChips]

Just go for punting. In my opnion punting is not cheating.

Yep, and when your other half also have some one night stands and casual sex, that's not cheating right?

[Smolex]

Punting absolutely IS cheating. I’m not sure how flexible you need to be to do the mental gymnastics to bypass that fact, unless of course you ask permission and she’s ok with it.

I was in a similar situation to OP, and actually punted for the first time during this period. Unfortunately, now I’m borderline addicted given punting is a Pandora’s box - there’s always new young fit girls to fuck, always new sexual experiences available to you, just an ATM visit away.

My advice is don’t start something you might not be able to control, and certainly not if it’s something that can be solved over a simple conversation with your mrs

At the end of the day a relationship is a partnership and communication is essential. Unless OP is 100% sure they're going to understand and agree with them on seeking outside connections, doing this kind of thing is undermining the kind of relationship she thinks she has and may have committed to if the OP is referring to his Mrs. in the traditional sense.

Especially with a kid in the mix they're not just undermining the partner, but the stability of that kids family and standards of a healthy relationship because if you really love someone be it a family member or a partner, you're hopefully going to respect them enough to trust them with truth even if truth is difficult or painful, and capable of acting selflessly for their wellbeing. Otherwise you're essentially saying that that they don't deserve truth, and that the thing they love and committed their passage through life with is something they don't really know or understand, and doesn't really think they deserve to know.

All that said, she may very well be understanding and supportive, but at least communicating truthfully and tactfully gives her some means of setting boundaries and communicating further if feelings or circumstances change. OP may also be very sure she wouldn't be okay with it, in which case he should definitely not be doing it. If that is the case he needs to at least search his feelings on how he can work with his partner to make changes that work for everyone.

[woodland]

You could do erotic massages only, and restrict to CBJ. Safer that way and less guilt

[Shaft]

Once a woman gives up on sex it’s a lost cause and your relationship will never be the same even with counseling. I had a dozen paragraphs of angst filled speech written about my Burwood based half Chinese ex but chose not to post as I don’t want to taint this forum.

The best thing a man can do is exorcise them from your wallet and your life then move on. There are so many nice single women plus the punting that it really is a man’s world.

Don’t dwell on the past live for the now.