Divorce - anyone been through it?

[faruk]

Keen to know your experience, are you glad you did it or do you regret it?

Also happy for people to pm me if they want to keep it private

[kingwally]

Been through a divorce years ago and have never looked back. Marriage suits some people but definitely not for me.

[sync3d3d]

Not through it (yet) but I think about starting it every day

[andrewv]

It all depends on the circumstances and if kids are involved. Whether one of the two has cheated, and so on.
In all cases, try to make it quick, keep it cool as the more drama you have the more it will cost you.
Most wives whose husbands leave them become resentful and try to exact a financial penalty on the husbands (ex husbands).

80% of men who get divorced end up with another woman in less than 2 years and 80% of them end up with a carbon copy of their ex wives!!!
Don't rush to hook up with a second wife too quickly.

[Joun23]

Single life is just wonderful
If you can have a good wife, it's good, otherwise just enjoy your single life

[themort]

I'm divorced and married again later.

If it's not right, make the change. It's expensive, and sucks, but if the relationship does not make you and your wife happy, it's time to start the next chapter of your life.

[mn69]

In a Gynocentric Western country, if there are kids involved, the man loses like 99% of the time and she ends up keeping the house, cars, kids and dogs + ongoing child support and his pension/super-annuation

In some U.S states, there is also ex-spouse support

[dotcumdotinyou]

No fault divorce laws in Australia even it all up even if kids are involved.

I went through the system and came out with what I thought was a fair deal. NOW enjoying life and time with the kids.

[HitNMiss]

The hardest thing for me with the divorce was not seeing my kids all the time , but being out of a loveless and toxic marriage is better . We only get life so think long and hard what you think would be the best thing to do. even after loosing house , money I’m much happier now .

[DrFeelGood]

If there aren’t any kids involved, disappear or move to another country. I heard Japan and Germany are taking foreigners to repopulate the country

[jedibear]

Unmarried still and with the stories I'm hearing, I do want to keep it that way. The laws haven't evolved to recognise that women are now often breadwinners in their own right and that leaves men still at a disadvantage

Sent from my CPH2339 using Tapatalk

[pound4pound]

Been through a divorce years ago and have never looked back. Marriage suits some people but definitely not for me.
Me too brother.

[Joun23]

In a Gynocentric Western country, if there are kids involved, the man loses like 99% of the time and she ends up keeping the house, cars, kids and dogs + ongoing child support and his pension/super-annuation

In some U.S states, there is also ex-spouse support

Not always the case.
Property settlement is all about the couple's contributions, mutual assets and liabilities incurred during the marriage.
Even if wife never worked and husband was the sole breadwinner during the marriage, her contribution is still 50% as long as the marriage lasted over 10 years.
Also, the party who has more time in custody of their children gets some adjustment to the split percentage. That's why most women try to keep their kids in their custody as much as possible, not necessarily they love them more than husband. Child support payment is calculated based on parents income and % time.
Another factor the court considers is the current income and future prospective. Whoever has lower current income and likely to be the same in the future will get some adjustment to their % split (usually 5-10%).
Each party's super will also be splited, not just husband's. Future pension is not included in the property settlement.

[badone]

Divorced ,and much happier

[Double_Adapter]

Most chicks enter into relationships believing it will be a romantic fairy tale love story and blokes enter it thinking it will be an action packed adventure, but sadly both end up as war horror stories.

Chicks that survive the story generally turn it into a biographical docuseries for their friends, and blokes that survive it will turn it into a silent black & white film. Eventually some will attempt to reproduce the original as a reboot, remake or sequel but very few sequels are better than the original (and they do exist).

AND this is where punting comes into its own as it offers fantasy packed with porn and a guaranteed happy ending. But Ievitably 90% of blokes will attempt to change the narrative by adding romance and fairytale to the script which fucks the movie turning into a sad story with a shitty ending.

Anyway I'm off to see foreign fantasy-porn with subtitles.

[stallionmachine123]

I’m single and sometimes feel lonely however sometimes enjoying peace and a punt is priceless.

My parents typical wogs want me to get married.

[mn69]

Not always the case.
Property settlement is all about the couple's contributions, mutual assets and liabilities incurred during the marriage.
Even if wife never worked and husband was the sole breadwinner during the marriage, her contribution is still 50% as long as the marriage lasted over 10 years.
Also, the party who has more time in custody of their children gets some adjustment to the split percentage. That's why most women try to keep their kids in their custody as much as possible, not necessarily they love them more than husband. Child support payment is calculated based on parents income and % time.
Another factor the court considers is the current income and future prospective. Whoever has lower current income and likely to be the same in the future will get some adjustment to their % split (usually 5-10%).
Each party's super will also be splited, not just husband's. Future pension is not included in the property settlement.

Such rubbish laws in Western countries. In Saudi, Russia, China, Thailand, Philippines, India, Vietnam & other non-Western countries, theres none of this bullshit.

The couple split and keep what they brought into the marriage. And just talk out the child custody terms on their own. Most times the women are compliant as the men are the ones with money in these countries.


I’m single and sometimes feel lonely however sometimes enjoying peace and a punt is priceless.

My parents typical wogs want me to get married.

But you will be the one going in front of the judge in a family court if you get divorced and standing to lose everything. Not your parents.

[Riff888]

Been there twice.
The second time was all online because we both agreed, plus no property or kids under 18 between us.
Cost $900 and we didn't have to attend court.
Had to wait until the second wedding anniversary to apply plus we were separated for one year.
I rent and lease my car these days. Property in mum's name so that's what I learnt from the first divorce.
It's pretty hard for them to get your super if the marriage wasn't that long. But even if you were married for a long time, super is hard to get. They'll need to spend big bucks on lawyers.

[faruk]

Been there twice.
The second time was all online because we both agreed, plus no property or kids under 18 between us.
Cost $900 and we didn't have to attend court.
Had to wait until the second wedding anniversary to apply plus we were separated for one year.
I rent and lease my car these days. Property in mum's name so that's what I learnt from the first divorce.
It's pretty hard for them to get your super if the marriage wasn't that long. But even if you were married for a long time, super is hard to get. They'll need to spend big bucks on lawyers.

Leasing the car is brilliant

[Abracadabra]

Been there twice.
The second time was all online because we both agreed, plus no property or kids under 18 between us.
Cost $900 and we didn't have to attend court.
Had to wait until the second wedding anniversary to apply plus we were separated for one year.
I rent and lease my car these days. Property in mum's name so that's what I learnt from the first divorce.
It's pretty hard for them to get your super if the marriage wasn't that long. But even if you were married for a long time, super is hard to get. They'll need to spend big bucks on lawyers.

Unfortunately been there twice too.

I think you'll find superannuation is part of the asset pool considered for divorce.

[yellow_sub]

Having girlfriend(s) are better. Going through one atm it sucks….

[Riff888]

Unfortunately been there twice too.

I think you'll find superannuation is part of the asset pool considered for divorce.
Things have changed over the last few years. They don't give away super that easy. My first ex tried in 2016 but it was rejected. I think it's even harder to get super now.

[Abracadabra]

Things have changed over the last few years. They don't give away super that easy. My first ex tried in 2016 but it was rejected. I think it's even harder to get super now.

It's treated as property under the Family Law Act.

There are options between the parties as to how it is split and accounted for given in many instances it is a future benefit

Plus there can be instances where it may be subject to pre existing agreements or it may have been held in a trust which can result in different treatment.

[GoldfishMan]

It's treated as property under the Family Law Act.

There are options between the parties as to how it is split and accounted for given in many instances it is a future benefit

Plus there can be instances where it may be subject to pre existing agreements or it may have been held in a trust which can result in different treatment.

The gov wouldn't want scorned women everywhere to be able to take half the nest eggs of their exes to spend on whatever they please. After all, what's going to happen is the gov will then have to pick up the bill to provide welfare to the now unable-to-fund-himself retiree in one way or another... Pensions, housing, etc. It just creates more oldies for the gov to support. I don't see how the gov would open the path for that to happen.

[Abracadabra]

The gov wouldn't want scorned women everywhere to be able to take half the nest eggs of their exes to spend on whatever they please. After all, what's going to happen is the gov will then have to pick up the bill to provide welfare to the now unable-to-fund-himself retiree in one way or another... Pensions, housing, etc. It just creates more oldies for the gov to support. I don't see how the gov would open the path for that to happen.

Chuckle Chuckle....

[ReginaldBubbles]

The gov wouldn't want scorned women everywhere to be able to take half the nest eggs of their exes to spend on whatever they please. After all, what's going to happen is the gov will then have to pick up the bill to provide welfare to the now unable-to-fund-himself retiree in one way or another... Pensions, housing, etc. It just creates more oldies for the gov to support. I don't see how the gov would open the path for that to happen.

Wouldn't the government need to support the women who are now unable to support themselves?

[mn69]

Wouldn't the government need to support the women who are now unable to support themselves?

The Government is already supporting all the single mums

Thats why first choice would be to give her the ex-husbands assets so the Government doesnt have to support her. Cheaper for them that way.

[faruk]

The gov wouldn't want scorned women everywhere to be able to take half the nest eggs of their exes to spend on whatever they please. After all, what's going to happen is the gov will then have to pick up the bill to provide welfare to the now unable-to-fund-himself retiree in one way or another... Pensions, housing, etc. It just creates more oldies for the gov to support. I don't see how the gov would open the path for that to happen.

If super gets split then wouldn't it just be transferred to the wife's super account so she also can't touch it until her retirement age?

[Riff888]

Wouldn't the government need to support the women who are now unable to support themselves?
Well they'll get half of your assets, so there's that.
Child support for kids up to 18 plus the end of that school year. Say your child turns 18 in February and is in year 12. You will have to pay child support until they finish year 12. That was a shock for me.
As for super, divorced twice, never happened to me.
Four mates from school divorced after long term marriage with kids, kept all their super.
What was common in all our cases, we signed over the house to the ex.
Now the property I have under mum's name. Also in mum's will in trust as me as the sole beneficiary. When it's in trust, I'll say it's for my kids when I'm gone.
Financial agreements are not really binding if they have good lawyers.
Marriage is the most expensive punt.

[Soccerfan]

Everyone’s situation is different but sometimes I wish I would have stayed just so I could be closer to the kids and just punted on the side. That would have worked but she became a nightmare, listening to her dumb as fuck parents. Anyway, we spilt and she is living on easy street until the youngest finishes school next year and then she’ll have to sell up because she refuses to get off her fat ass and work. There’s no way she’ll be able to furnish her loan without the child support, unless her parents die.

What shits me is that she has routinely bad mouthed me to the kids and affected my relationship with them. This is unforgivable. As much as I detest her, I never disrespected her to the kids. I don’t envy anyone starting down this road, especially if there’s kids involved.

[Abracadabra]

Well they'll get half of your assets, so there's that.
Child support for kids up to 18 plus the end of that school year. Say your child turns 18 in February and is in year 12. You will have to pay child support until they finish year 12. That was a shock for me.
As for super, divorced twice, never happened to me.
Four mates from school divorced after long term marriage with kids, kept all their super.
What was common in all our cases, we signed over the house to the ex.
Now the property I have under mum's name. Also in mum's will in trust as me as the sole beneficiary. When it's in trust, I'll say it's for my kids when I'm gone.
Financial agreements are not really binding if they have good lawyers.
Marriage is the most expensive punt.

It would seem your mates and you may have likely kept your super as your share (or part thereof share) of an agreed split with your ex-wives or a court decreed split of assets..... as did I. Super and the house are quite often the largest assets and can end up with one side of the other.

Either that or the super was somehow not declared or kept hidden?

But frankly, superannuation is part of an asset pool under the Family Court Act. It is identified as part of the disclosure process and can't legally be kept "aside" or undeclared.

From what I know this has been the case for quite a while ~ some time ago it remained with the super holder and out of the asset pool as it was often difficult to split, such as a managed fund.
It definitely applied and was a no brainer in my 2013-16 divorce process.

[kingwally]

Everyone’s situation is different but sometimes I wish I would have stayed just so I could be closer to the kids and just punted on the side. That would have worked but she became a nightmare, listening to her dumb as fuck parents. Anyway, we spilt and she is living on easy street until the youngest finishes school next year and then she’ll have to sell up because she refuses to get off her fat ass and work. There’s no way she’ll be able to furnish her loan without the child support, unless her parents die.

What shits me is that she has routinely bad mouthed me to the kids and affected my relationship with them. This is unforgivable. As much as I detest her, I never disrespected her to the kids. I don’t envy anyone starting down this road, especially if there’s kids involved.

Good post mate! I have a lot of sympathy for guys like you...there is nothing worse than one parent poisoning the minds of the kids. Afew of my mates have gone through this and it is more about spite and revenge against them than having the kids best interests at heart.

[dotcumdotinyou]

Every case is different, but super is definitely counted as a part of the asset pool. Everything is, in my case they even included my alcohol collection and my coin collection (although the judge removed both because the collections were bequeathed to my children in my will). They also tried to include the children's bank accounts but the judge ruled that out as well because the ten years worth of statements I gave as evidence showed that there were never any withdrawals and only deposits.
The judges statement also indicated a 65-35% split in my favour was a more than likely outcome, so, as riff and his friends did I offered her the house as full and final settlement or take her chances on the day with the judge.

She accepted, and I got to keep everything else including my self managed super.

[dotcumdotinyou]

Its always difficult when kids are involved.

In the beginning she told them so many lies and filled their heads with so much hate for me that they would barely talk to me on my access visits. All I could do was calmly and without any prejudice towards their mother put my side of the story and finish by saying we were both at fault.
Slowly the younger two started to open up and talk to me I answered all of their questions, never blaming their mother and if I was at fault I admitted it. The oldest was much harder, she even told me she hated me and never wanted to see me again, so I put them all in the car and drove them back to their mother's place opened the door and told them if they wanted to go they could and they'd never have to see me again, but, they have to remember one thing. That I would always love them and if they ever needed anything I'd always be there for them. Only the oldest got out, the other two came back home with me for the rest of the weekend. About three months later I got a call from the eldest asking if she could come on the weekend with the others and we've been going great ever since.

[Riff888]

Every case is different, but super is definitely counted as a part of the asset pool. Everything is, in my case they even included my alcohol collection and my coin collection (although the judge removed both because the collections were bequeathed to my children in my will). They also tried to include the children's bank accounts but the judge ruled that out as well because the ten years worth of statements I gave as evidence showed that there were never any withdrawals and only deposits.
The judges statement also indicated a 65-35% split in my favour was a more than likely outcome, so, as riff and his friends did I offered her the house as full and final settlement or take her chances on the day with the judge.

She accepted, and I got to keep everything else including my self managed super.
So that's probably why we kept are super then.
It seems like it's the judge's discretion.
I even had a female judge but she was pretty good.
We had to go through remediation a bit later to sort out custody arrangements. Of course she wanted the kids more, means more child support for her.
You can't avoid child support unless you do a cash job.

[HardCockInSyd]

If super gets split then wouldn't it just be transferred to the wife's super account so she also can't touch it until her retirement age?

Yes. This is how it works, based on how it was dealt with in friends of mine who divorced.

[JJBlows]

What's the going rate for a lawyer writing up a decent BFA?

[Golden Rod]

What are the main reasons for getting divorced?

[mn69]

What are the main reasons for getting divorced?

Number 1 reason = Financial issues
2. Infidelity

[Gillbros]

Keen to know your experience, are you glad you did it or do you regret it?

Also happy for people to pm me if they want to keep it private
I haven't been divorced yet but definitely on my bucket list!

[faruk]

Even though if I was given the chance to be born again I would pick being a man 10/10 times, I think it's not easy being a man sometimes.

If we remain single then we get lonely and people ask why we're not married.

If we get married then we limit ourselves to one partner and risk losing half (or more) of our stuff if things don't work out.

Then if we have kids we lose our dreams. What was once a youthful fit young man is now a middle aged balding man with a beer belly. Pushing prams instead of working on cars. Playing with baby toys instead of video games. Going to kids playgrounds instead of the gym.

And maybe worst of all is we can't really talk about it because then we're labelled as whingers or misogynists.

Maybe we should get an anonymous group chat going where we can vent and support each other.

[Axeman123]

Even though if I was given the chance to be born again I would pick being a man 10/10 times, I think it's not easy being a man sometimes.

If we remain single then we get lonely and people ask why we're not married.

If we get married then we limit ourselves to one partner and risk losing half (or more) of our stuff if things don't work out.

Then if we have kids we lose our dreams. What was once a youthful fit young man is now a middle aged balding man with a beer belly. Pushing prams instead of working on cars. Playing with baby toys instead of video games. Going to kids playgrounds instead of the gym.

And maybe worst of all is we can't really talk about it because then we're labelled as whingers or misogynists.

Maybe we should get an anonymous group chat going where we can vent and support each other. The baby being pushed in the pram also grows into a fit young man n when you get home from work n your fit young man comes to the door, reaches out for a man hug just know that pushing that pram, going to the playground n playing with baby toys is what brings him to you. Life.

[Golden Rod]

A man is better off being single and dating women who go to the trouble of making themselves appealing, visually and in bed.

[faruk]

The baby being pushed in the pram also grows into a fit young man n when you get home from work n your fit young man comes to the door, reaches out for a man hug just know that pushing that pram, going to the playground n playing with baby toys is what brings him to you. Life.

That's the good part, but at what cost? What about the sleepless nights with a crying baby? Or the wife constantly giving you shit for the most trivial things?

[GoldfishMan]

Wouldn't the government need to support the women who are now unable to support themselves?

If you haven’t listened to divorce sob stories, you need to start listening to them. Out of that cohort of women that are trying to get their ex’s assets, a proportion of them actually have the ability to work and make a living for themselves and their kids if any. They just don’t want to do it because of being lazy, spiteful, spoilt, etc. So, Gov having to support them, we’ll see about that!

[Double_Adapter]

That's the good part, but at what cost? What about the sleepless nights with a crying baby? Or the wife constantly giving you shit for the most trivial things?

You blokes have it easy yet you whinge and complain about everything, this poor bloke has 17 wives and 84 kids.

https://youtu.be/_49-BeMBIQQ?si=GncFJnw0gDtuFyYS

[Axeman123]

If you haven’t listened to divorce sob stories, you need to start listening to them. Out of that cohort of women that are trying to get their ex’s assets, a proportion of them actually have the ability to work and make a living for themselves and their kids if any. They just don’t want to do it because of being lazy, spiteful, spoilt, etc. So, Gov having to support them, we’ll see about that! And the new bloke that's picked her up, if he hasn't moved in at least staying over a few nights getting his end in , he'd be chipping in with food n bills so she'd be doing alright.

[ReginaldBubbles]

If you haven’t listened to divorce sob stories, you need to start listening to them. Out of that cohort of women that are trying to get their ex’s assets, a proportion of them actually have the ability to work and make a living for themselves and their kids if any. They just don’t want to do it because of being lazy, spiteful, spoilt, etc. So, Gov having to support them, we’ll see about that!



And the new bloke that's picked her up, if he hasn't moved in at least staying over a few nights getting his end in , he'd be chipping in with food n bills so she'd be doing alright.

Sigh, I swear the aptitude of members on this forum to jump into conclusions is astounding.

[LateBloomer]

Keen to know your experience, are you glad you did it or do you regret it?

Also happy for people to pm me if they want to keep it private

Been there, done it, and have not regretted it even for a second.

If you’re thinking about it then there is clearly a reason, and unless it’s based off some sort of one off event that you could potentially get over, then the writing is most likely on the wall.