Who the hell thought “Opium Massage” was a good idea?

[Deadman]

Forget branding aesthetics for a sec — I just wanna know who signed off on the combo “Opium (a narcotic)” + “Massage”.

Was compliance too quiet lately? Were the cops getting bored? Or are we turning Google Maps into a live AFP case study now?

Let’s get real:

Opium is literally a prohibited drug name under the 《Drugs Misuse Act》 in Australia.

Slapping that on a massage shop is basically tattooing “Please monitor me” across your forehead.

ATO (Tax Office): Cash business + drug keyword = instant red flag. Enjoy your audits, BAS reviews, and GST checks on repeat.

Home Affairs (Immigration): Sees “Opium Massage,” immediately thinks “illegal work / trafficking / visa breach.”

AFP (Federal Police): Keyword match 100%. Even the breeze outside your shop’s gonna get frisked.

Customers: Normal people think “sketchy” and walk away — nobody wants a massage that could turn into an immigration raid mid-session.

Naming your business “Opium” is like calling your company email scam@company.com

A good name helps clients relax and staff feel safe.

A bad one just wakes up the ATO, Immigration, and the AFP — all at once.

[Langy]

Relax bro. It's just a name.

Go there and get a massage... You never know, you may become addicted to the place 😉

[BrisbaneSwede]

Its really no different to all the other sketchily named places like tattoo parlours etc.

At this point its an open secret that its always been a RNT, they used to get cops there all the time as TTN. Theyre not under any more or less scrutiny with the name.

As a normal person yeah sure its cringe but fuck im going in there to rail a jap 🤷*♂️

[Zag Dez]

I hear Chemist Warehouse is being closed down.

Police raided and ATO investigated as they were selling opium in the guise of CK perfume and aftershave

[Herpetology]

Sir these Agencies
Sir The Dead man

Police Mens and womens
Officers Of the Courts

Immigration

ATO

Other Agencies have no legislation on the name chosen

Just search ABN online like I did and it done -A shop name in 15 seconds

Do not worry Sir
Just go check her out and see if the coffee shop Guests are looking on

Others say it the best shop in the area

As she is hot and sexy babe

Help me
Guys Is Mr Smith Chips around the traps he was the top poster in the Forum

I need to catch up with him about his new shop
Named
'Fuck The Pussy Massage' Shop
Tips a flagon 2000mls of Sweet Cherry
PM Me asap
His new shop is based in Alice Springs NT 555 by the Goanna Creek turn off



Herps

[SGBAnnerley]

It is a stupid name but it's par for the course in the massage business. Many massage shops have idiotic names. Maybe should have called it "Optimum Massage", idk. Maybe Marijuana Massage is next.

[FredWard63]

Not sure why folks are so concerned. The connection with Poppy shows a little cleverness and creativity - I quite like that. It also shows a little playfullness - I also like that. It's also ensured that folks participating in this site will know the name of a shop that, in the very short time it has been been open, has attracted positive comments. So pretty good advertising...well done Poppy.

[Dr Grafton Everest]

I'm waiting for 'The Pines Massage'

[VFlowers]

I'm waiting for 'The Pines Massage'

LOL :shout:
Good one!

[butyl]

I'm waiting for 'The Pines Massage'

Three Pines might be better

[Boinnitouch]

I think it's a clever name considering the owner is Poppy. The room had a huge shower and the same girl I'd previously seen at Poppy's Paradise. Definitely will return when I'm on the Northside again.

[forallofyou]

Bad location tho , only front entrance on a busy footpath, the locals hated the last place Tik Tok ... place is absolutely smack bang in the middle of the public especially on the weekend.