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Steven Seagal
18-11-2012, 05:33 PM
Howdy All

Red Sunset
47 Sydenham Rd.
Marrickville
Ph 02 95504633

This is a review of a double with Linda and Fifi.

“There’s a sucker born every minute and two to take him!”
WC Fields.

I am a very shallow person. I tend to accept everything and have no ability to evaluate anything critically.

Like a typical American I always believe big is better. Yep, I love those big Yank tanks, huge gridiron football players, skyscrapers and large double Whopper burgers that are the size of a manhole cover. I like kegs not schooners of beer and. I love big double shots of Jim Beam. I love big breasted women with big hair like Monica Lewinsky. I love foot long hot dogs and big triple scoops of ice cream on my banana splits. I love to use big words like brouhaha and epistemology. I love leaving a big impression and shooting off my big mouth to the distain of others around me. I love making a big horses arse out of myself. I love big parties and going out on big drunks and suffering big hangovers. I love big ideas and plans coupled with a small capacity to execute them.

I also love going out punting and blowing big money on doubles. Now let me start by saying if you have never had a double give it a go. It’s exciting at first to be screwing one lady and dfking with another. It can also be really exciting with a lesbian double where they kiss and do other nefarious things with each other.

BUT

While you may have a big time it is designed to deal with sucker punters like me who wouldn’t know value for money if it hit them smack in the gob.

Working ladies love doubles. It means they only have to do half the work for the same money. It is doubly good if they are Chinese and can talk behind your back while staring directly into your face.

Imagine, for a moment, we have gone to an Asian establishment and have selected Smokey and Amber for our double. Look below at the breakdown in how the time typically unfolds.

TIME:

Shower by me (10 min., should be 3 min but ladies not in room and no towel.)
Ladies dry me off 2 min.
Shower by each lady 2.5 min each = 5 min.
Ladies set things up e.g. condoms, lube etc. 2.5 min each= 5 minutes.
Ladies initial 5 minute conversation in Mandarin like the one below;

Smokey: You blow this sucker first.
Amber: Fuck you Smokey. You start on the geezer.
Seagal; What are you talking about?
Smokey: We fight over joy of suck you.

Smokey begins by cleaning my cock before bbj = 2.5min.
Smokey sucks cock for 2 min and rinses mouth for 3 minutes.
Amber cleans cock for 2.5 min, sucks cock for 2.5 minutes
Amber rinses mouth for 5 minutes
Amber cleans cock and puts on condom 5 min.
Sex 6 min.
Clean up and leave = 4.5 min


A quick calculation of the above means that sexual activity took 11 minutes and miscellaneous bullshit the remaining 49.

Not exactly good value and as WC Fields also said:

“Bury me in Philadelphia.”

This brings us to Fifi and Linda.

Let’s start with Linda. Linda says she’s 31 but probably more 40. I think her face is pretty and she has a cheeky look about her. She has B+-C- breasts and nice nipples. She has a trimmed pussy. Her English is good enough for the task at hand. She does try to please., although slow to get into the session. She says she works in other shops in Liverpool and Campbelltown.

Fifi is also early 40’s, trimmed pussy. Nice thick lips that I call a bbj mouth. Her bbj is much better than Linda’s, although Linda does a pretty good one. English is functional for the situation.

Folks, the 11 minutes of the hour were in fact good. Dfk from both. Bbj from both. Mish and cowgirl and doggie with both. Finally cim in Linda’s mouth.

BUT

Folks it did feel like 11 minutes and not an hour.

SO

Either one alone for an hour would be great, but together the sum of the parts is less than the whole. In the future I may see each one alone, but no more 11 minute sucker doubles!

I have sorted out how to deal with the disappointment of the double and will share it with you in my next review of titled Tina, Apple, Stu Miller and me.

Until that time friends. . . until that time.

Steven

Sextus
18-11-2012, 06:04 PM
Hey Steven! Do you work in advertising copy? Or maybe in Stand up? (I know it is not form to ask for too much personal detail on this forum though.)

Whatever it is, you have a great line in rhetorical flourish. That is no doubt old news to many on the forum, but to me, it is new! I do like it, particularly your fun intros that are eventually related to your main theme.

As for Red Sunset at Sydenham, at least I know it must have improved since my one and only visit there about ten years ago. Let me say again, this was TEN years ago, so no reflection on the current operation there - you are better qualified to talk of that.

The place was suspiciously (I know now) dirt cheap and I was in the area and it was a spontaneous decision. I was a very naive solo punter at the time. (In fact I was still a very naive soloist up until the six weeks ago that I discovered this forum.) Back then, at Red Sunset, you didn't see the girls - instead the shady papasan showed you some grimy, well thumbed POLAROIDS of the girls! Can you believe this? Well, it was true.

Strangely, I went ahead on that flimsy basis, and despite this the girl herself was ok to look at and tried hard. But there were NO showers in the rooms! I couldn't believe it. The hygiene aspect of it was putting me off entirely and I ended up going soft at the whole circumstance sometime during the attempted sex.

Anyway, just an old memory, and I'm glad the place has improved, but I see from their advertising that they are still postioning themselves in the market largely on their price. So thanks for your review - it was a brave decision you made to go there. The girls and the sex seem to be up to standard according to your report despite this, so more power to them if they can achieve this happy medium of good sex and modest price.

SpankyTheMonkey
18-11-2012, 06:27 PM
This Steven Seagal goes where even Chuck Norris dares not! Talk about taking one for the team. Repeatedly. Though I suspect you might be keeping the good ones to yourself. No one is *that* unlucky, surely! :)

wilisno
18-11-2012, 06:34 PM
Looks like even 2 girls couldn't get him Undersieged, he might be Out For Revenge soon, prepare to see some Fire Down Below ! :miao:

Steven Seagal
18-11-2012, 08:04 PM
My next review will be about Tina and Apple at 269 Canterbury Rd.

Guess I will call it Underseige 2!

Steven

the wizard
18-11-2012, 10:08 PM
Steven can't wait for your "executive decision"- 269 with tina and apple....

bill_100
18-11-2012, 10:27 PM
Still Steven, what is the comparison with Billy's girls. OK Billy's massage tables, small towels and lack of beds are a bit uncomfortable but at least if you ask you can select a girl (woman) from the 8-10 in the assembly hall if you do not like what is offered or after 5 mins want to swap. Both places have the same cost structure and Billy's tables and chairs are good for relaxing DATY if you are into that, less strain on the neck if you know what I mean. A lot of the time the girls are acceptable.

wilisno
18-11-2012, 10:30 PM
Steven can't wait for your "executive decision"- 269 with tina and apple....

Oh no ! Seagal died in the first 10 minutes in that one !

bill_100
18-11-2012, 10:36 PM
Wilsno, I hope not, we enjoy his descriptive reports of his exploits.

wilisno
18-11-2012, 10:39 PM
Wilsno, I hope not, we enjoy his descriptive reports of his exploits.

That's why I said he can't be making that executive decision ! Moreover, Seagal is Hard to Kill anyway !

IExperiment
18-11-2012, 11:12 PM
Steven always great to read your funny and true A/R keep them coming.