True story

[goulash]

I'll post this story in parts as time goes on... please keep in mind that it is ALL TRUE...

1. I NOTICED AN EMPLOYMENT AD ON CRAIGS LIST, COPIED HERE

Accounting Internship (Strathfield)

I run a small accounting practice and looking for ONE reliable and career oriented FEMALE " Accounting Intern" for 6 months WHO IS FUN, OPEN MINDED AND WILLING TO TAKE PART IN ADULT FUN WITH ME ( 37 yo, fit, slim and very professional) OCCASIONALLY. The firm will provide on the job training on bookkeeping in MYOB /QuickBooks, bank reconciliation, financial statements, accounts payables and receivables, individual tax returns, company tax returns etc. At the end of training, you can be recruited by the firm itself or provided with a good reference letter detailing your work experience. The selected intern will have to work around 10-20 hours a week. If interested, please email your resume and a latest picture of your body ( you can hide your face if you want). Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster. do NOT contact us with unsolicited services or offers

[Raybo]

No harm in putting it out there!

[Oneonone]

He says he is very professional well I don't think it looks too professional to me!

Just go to a brothel and pay for it like the rest of us!

[wilisno]

About 10-20 years ago, this kind of ad happened quite often in Vietnam. A lot of Taiwanese businessmen went there to invest and started up companies. They advertised blatantly looking for second wives away from home, that is, during their stay in the country ! :miao:

[John_Matrix]

Makes sense why the add wasnt on the typical Australian job sites. There is no way that requesting images and requesting adult activity could be legal.

This guy must read way to much hustler magazine..

[Batman23]

How many accountants in strathfield? Sure one can narrow it down!

[goulash]

2. I COULD NOT RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO TROLL THIS GUY ... SO I EMAILED HIM

Hello my name is Yumi and I look for serious job.

I have accounting degree from UTS but work in XXXXX now because no experience - are you serious and are you look for real intern for real accounting firm?

How will I know - what is your name / firm?

Yumi

[AHLUNGOR]

2. I COULD NOT RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO TROLL THIS GUY ... SO I EMAILED HIM

Hello my name is Yumi and I look for serious job.

I have accounting degree from UTS but work in XXXXX now because no experience - are you serious and are you look for real intern for real accounting firm?

How will I know - what is your name / firm?

Yumi


Haha brother goulash, I think Yumi should list her own terms as well:

1. Base salary, happy to accept a base salary above $45K pa during the internship period plus overtime and extras .

2. Usual office hours will be covered, if required to work outside, the following extra adult service fees will apply:

2.1 providing massage services with clothes on: $60/hr, naked add $30, hand job release add $20, covered blow job add $30, bare back blow job add $50, cum in mouth add $20, swallowing add $20. Body to body slide add $30, tits fuck including cum on tits add $30.

2.3 Sexual intercourse $50 a shot, must wear condom, no Dom no sex!

2.4 anal fuck - no available !!

2.5 S & M play - subject to toys and negotiation !

[henry_lawson]

When I was single and looking for a flatmate to help pay the mortgage I advertised at the uni which was quite close for flatmates. When I hinted to the cuter applicants that the rent could be half price while-ever I didn't have a girlfriend, most of them got up and left muttering something about me being a slime ball!

There was always one each semester however who took me up on it. They were happy to have their own room close to the uni in a quiet house, and the relationships often transcended sex 2-3 times a week to actually going out socially together. I could so happily revisit those days of having NSA GFE sex on tap with cute uni girls.

[goulash]

This is part three of this true story: the full anonymous CL email thread...

The first email again sent through CL - XXXXX is the shop Yumi claimed to work at...

YUMI:

Hello my name is Yumi and I look for serious job
I have accounting degree from UTS but work in XXXXX now because no experience - are you serious and are you look for real intern for real accounting firm
How will I know - what is your name / firm?
Yumi

He responded quite quickly... I could tell from his response that he was actually taking this seriously...

HIM:

Thanks for your response.
My apologies, as CL postings all looks spam, isn't it??
It's a real accounting firm and the intern position is for 6 months where you will be learning practical experiences on bookkeeping ( on QuickBooks, MYOB), financial statements, bank reconciliation, income tax returns ( individual & company) etc. At the end of the interns, there could be a possibilities that the firm could hire you and if not, can issue a good reference for your job hunting.
For your comfort, we will have our very first interview/ meeting at my firm once I am sure that you are serious and agree to the terms of this interns ( some adult fun occasionally). Just to remind you that I am 37 years ASIAN who is fit, very friendly and respectful professional ( Chartered Accountant) who want to do everything very discreetly due to obvious reasons.
If you are serious enough, can you please send me your resume and a brief profile ( your height, weight and stats) stating that why you are agreeing to the terms of this interns ( as am looking a fun loving girl and don't want to go ahead with someone who has agreed this in distress).
Please feel free to email me if you have any other concerns.
Hope to hear from you soon.

I figured being sensitive about his background was real (so many j-girls have talked to me about types of men they don't do) and I also wanted to know if this guy knows shops or not... threw in a few errors (like 547 visa) to make it seem real... also had to find an innocent looking j-girl photo off Google...

YUMI:

So happy to here from you. Do you know you will be happy. Do you know XXXXX?Are you Japanese because I cannot do fun for Japanese man.
I am still student visa so can only work 20 hours unless can sponsor me for 547 via. Can you??
Can you tell me your name and your accouting firm name so I know genuine and then I will send you my resume and you can inform me of when to interview.
Here I am if you want to meet me. Sorry I am not wearing business dress in photo.

I was surprised that he actually started believing I was a real j-girl...

HIM:

Thanks for the quick response. No I am not Japanese, so ...don't worry
Sponsoring 457 ( not 547) visa depends on many factors but yes, our firm has been sponsoring for 1 person currently. You have to work for at least 2 years in our firm in that case and some additional conditions also apply. We can discuss this in more details when we meet
Just like you, I also have to confirm your genuineness first before I can expose my details and my firms details as you know all these are very sensitive to me. Can you please scan and send your UTS's transcript/ certificate to me so that I can forward my accounting firm's details to you
Have a great evening
Cheers
JK

I was getting bored with this already so pressed him for more details... would he swallow the bullshit?

YUMI:

I am sorry but I work all night tonight because my friend had period (understand) so I cannot send you until tomorrow afternoon cause sleeping working tired all night
Yumi
x

HIM:

Ohh...that's fine. Just relax.
You can send those tomorrow afternoon, no problem !
All the best !
Cheers
JK

YUMI:

If it’s real job why hide?I will scan and send no problem.
You will get tomorrow.

He began getting annoyed...

HIM:

I think, I have already made by points very clear......
I have already made clear that it's a small ACCOUNTING FIRM located in western Sydney with 800+ clients !
I need to verify your genuineness before I can pass on any of my information like fax, phone, name, firm's name, address etc
Hope you understand.
Cheers
JK

YUMI:

Hello, sorry but I need to wait my friend to scan my transcript… i can fax to you if you have fax (I know old school but is that ok for you?
Yumi
x
Also what is your name?
What extra work do you want? Are you sure is professional real job? I do not mind extra if you pay extra but i want real experience too
I am serious girl about career

HIM:

Could not receive XXXXX certificate yet. Is scanner causing real trouble !!
Alternatively, we can first catch up in any busy restaurant/ café ( may be McDonald) in Strathfield and meet each other in person so that I can give you my firms details and date for formal interviewy the way, what is XXXXX ?
Cheers
JK

He was losing patience so I had to send him something... just call me Yumi Machida...

YUMI:

Sir, here is proof I graduate this year.
If you are serious then please give me your details so I can send you letter and CV.
It does not matter what XXXXX is you can Google but please be serious with me)
Sincere,
Yumi Machida

At this point he sends me his real details from his work email address. I never thought it would get this far (I would have smelled a rat a mile off after being unable to communicate by phone)

TO BE CONTINUED

[aussiegaigin]

When I was single and looking for a flatmate to help pay the mortgage I advertised at the uni which was quite close for flatmates. When I hinted to the cuter applicants that the rent could be half price while-ever I didn't have a girlfriend, most of them got up and left muttering something about me being a slime ball!

There was always one each semester however who took me up on it. They were happy to have their own room close to the uni in a quiet house, and the relationships often transcended sex 2-3 times a week to actually going out socially together. I could so happily revisit those days of having NSA GFE sex on tap with cute uni girls.

Back in the days when I worked in the Jpanese tourism industry here in Sydney, there was always a steady stream of working holiday girls looking for cheap accomodation, so I rented out a spare room in my apartment. Being a skinflint, and having good access to plenty of other J-girls for fun, I didn't need to get into contra deals like this. Occasionally I got lucky with the tenant, but they were always inviting their friends home and had no problems with me going after them.

[Beancounter]

I can't understand why one would mix business with pleasure.
But this is an interesting read. I can't wait for Part 4.

[goulash]

I know... I emailed this guy just because I was so appalled by his lack of professionalism... it just keeps getting worse... are we seriously all as low as this guy?

[CunningLinguist]

This is riveting stuff, waiting for the next part ...

[baby_boo]

haha, this is gold. Let me put a note here so I can come back later and read

[Guymartin420]

Good stuff!

Don't rule out the possibility that he might be an Aus99 member😃😃

[goulash]

Yes, I figured he might be an Aus99 member but since he never heard of the shop Yumi claimed to work at and basically has no idea how to cut to the chase or kill the conversation then I am assuming that he's a newbie.

Anyways, wait for the next email thread - this time emailing directly from work. His reactions become more and more naive.

And he doesn't realise how easy it is to trace people in this online world once you have a snippet of real data about them.

[SmilingGiraffe]

The guy wants a part-time employee willing to provide some extra services - so what's the big deal?

I'm sure many of us have plugged our cleaning lady or the au pair, it's not that extraodinary.
You just pay a little extra and they usually respond. There's a lot of this about, always has been.
Is it really that interesting?

[CunningLinguist]

The guy wants a part-time employee willing to provide some extra services - so what's the big deal?

I'm sure many of us have plugged our cleaning lady or the au pair, it's not that extraodinary.
You just pay a little extra and they usually respond. There's a lot of this about, always has been.
Is it really that interesting?

Just a reminder to everyone to read this for some background before you take this guy's posts seriously. (http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.php?39297-Banned-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again-and-again)

[DarkZero01]

I love reading pranks like this
i still can't believe in sydney, theres job ads like this. i just like how he uses "adult fun" instead of the term "sex"
bro goulash, did you end up sending him a fake nude photo, it would be gold, if you send him a picture of a tranny

[goulash]

I sent him one innocent pic of a girl drinking a glass of champagne.

He was impressed.

You will see in the next instalment that I sent him a pic off a local brothel web site, which looked nothing like the original girl, he bought it and, well, proves he has no idea what he's doing.

As to the matter of paying to punt: no there's nothing wrong with it. It's not breaking the law. Advertising a job where you want sex as a sweetener is arguably against the law. Offering mentorship and experience with sex as part of the sweetener as a Chartered Accountant is against his professional standards. There are also workplace laws that prevent pricks from this crossing the line from trying to get it on with a workmate (which is NEVER recommended) to having sex as part of a sick power relationship with a junior employee.

[EatmyhairyassholeBitch]

where's the part that goulash gets dressed up as a J-school girl and goes to an interview at the firm? I see a Bad Grandpa episode coming on........

[whoareyoumate]

Great job. Can't wait to find out the next part:-) Can't believe how he would say he is a professional.

[goulash]

Laughing out loud at this one!

Sorry I don't have the legs for it.


where's the part that goulash gets dressed up as a J-school girl and goes to an interview at the firm? I see a Bad Grandpa episode coming on........