Would you ask a girl out again after she refuses?

[Milhouse]

Long story short, I met a dealer at Crown casino about a year ago, and I would travel there interstate about every fortnight for work, then play a bit of table games after. I got talking to this dealer and we got along real well, I thought I had a chance. One day I decide to ask her out, and she said no. So I thought, ok, guess I was wrong, she wasn't interested after all.

After that whenever I went, I would avoid her table. After a while, I noticed that she would be looking at me from a distance, and we'd just kinda stare at each other like that from different tables. One day I'm playing at a table, and she comes on as the new dealer. She starts talking to me being real friendly, and since then we have sort of resumed our 'thing' and everything was like before I asked her out.

Call me goddamn stupid, but I just get the vibe now that maybe she is interested. I just can't understand why she would always be looking at me and being so friendly if she wasn't interested, especially after knowing that I am interested?!?! If a guy asked a girl out and the girl didn't want to lead him on, wouldn't she say no and then after that avoid him or want to be avoided?

But on the other hand, I have friends who are married, and they tell me that their wives rejected them at first but they were persistent.

So what should a guy do, should a guy have to ask a girl out twice?!?!

[Sergaent Brody]

Ask already or go to a brothel

[aussiegaigin]

Did you ask her out while she was working? The casino would probably have rules about staff openly fraternising with patrons whilst on duty.

[CunningLinguist]

Of course she will say no unless she wants to lose her job.
Do dealers get a commission for how much the table makes, if so that answers your question.

[NaughtyBoy13]

Sure mate ! Ask again and fucking again ! Show her how good you are, how kind you are and how keen you are ! It takes time because she doesn't know you :)

[Milhouse]

Did you ask her out while she was working? The casino would probably have rules about staff openly fraternising with patrons whilst on duty.

I asked her while she was working, but what I said was, are you free for a coffee after you finish.

[AHLUNGOR]

I asked her while she was working, but what I said was, are you free for a coffee after you finish.

Do this instead:

Have your usual chit chat and then just find out when will she finish work. say 10 pm, then just tell her you will be at a well known place in Melbourne but away from Crown say from 11pm . And make sure she knows that venue but Don't ask her if she will be there!

If she is interested, she will go there to check you out, if she doesn't come then you got your answer ?

Ps. Make sure you wait outside the main entrance of that place so you won't miss her!

Good luck

Cheers

[cuteguy]

Some girls love to play hard to get when guys invite them out first time but persistence does sometimes pay off for some guys. However, she is on the job and therefore, she can't flirt with gamblers and by being friendly, it's in her interest to attract gamblers to her table and spend money. No money no honey!

[NaughtyBoy13]

Some girls love to play hard to get when guys invite them out first time but persistence does sometimes pay off for some guys. However, she is on the job and therefore, she can't flirt with gamblers and by being friendly, it's in her interest to attract gamblers to her table and spend money. No money no honey!

Not always happen like that. I believe there is an exception:)

[juicykeyboard]

After that whenever I went, I would avoid her table. After a while, I noticed that she would be looking at me from a distance, and we'd just kinda stare at each other like that from different tables. One day I'm playing at a table, and she comes on as the new dealer. She starts talking to me being real friendly, and since then we have sort of resumed our 'thing' and everything was like before I asked her out.

Congratulations, you just learned one of the best ways to manipulate women, give them attection then deny it to them.

The problem in your situation is that it looks like she wants you as an 'orbiter'. Women love getting attention from men and will keep a stable of guys around them who give them male validation. The sucky thing for the guys is that she will never sleep with any of them (unless she intends to use them as a backup if she gets old/ugly etc).


Call me goddamn stupid, but I just get the vibe now that maybe she is interested. I just can't understand why she would always be looking at me and being so friendly if she wasn't interested, especially after knowing that I am interested?!?!

This is textbook female behaviour, they are expert at manipulating men this way. Every guy who reads this has gone through the exact same experience you are right now.


If a guy asked a girl out and the girl didn't want to lead him on, wouldn't she say no and then after that avoid him or want to be avoided?

Exactly... and this girl is not acting in this manner, what does that tell you? her only intention 'is' to lead you on. Immature/attention seeking/manipulative women will try to keep you attracted as long as she can without giving anything in return. Above all else, this is validation for her.


But on the other hand, I have friends who are married, and they tell me that their wives rejected them at first but they were persistent.

In general, the reality is that a guy will persue a girl for ages and she will finally give in once she realises she has no better options. Men say that persistence won her over, but deep down, the woman will always know that she settled. I'm a firm believer that if there is no initial (physical) attraction then there never will be. In terms of growing to love somebody in an emotional sense it's different, I believe that can happen over time.


So what should a guy do, should a guy have to ask a girl out twice?!?!

Definately do not do this. Trust me when I say that is the only thing she wants from this interaction. She wants that sweet sweet validation and if you give it to her she will lose interest immediately.

My advice is to lose this chick, however, you can start pushing her buttons by selectively giving and then taking away attention from her. This and acting assertively gets women going for some reason. I guess they think themselves to be powerful or special if they can tame some unpredictable/wild guy.

I hope I don't sound like a dick I just hate to see guys suffer from female manuipulation.

[cisco]

I ask ask ask her again till she hate me :)

[Milhouse]

Congratulations, you just learned one of the best ways to manipulate women, give them attection then deny it to them.

The problem in your situation is that it looks like she wants you as an 'orbiter'. Women love getting attention from men and will keep a stable of guys around them who give them male validation. The sucky thing for the guys is that she will never sleep with any of them (unless she intends to use them as a backup if she gets old/ugly etc).



This is textbook female behaviour, they are expert at manipulating men this way. Every guy who reads this has gone through the exact same experience you are right now.



Exactly... and this girl is not acting in this manner, what does that tell you? her only intention 'is' to lead you on. Immature/attention seeking/manipulative women will try to keep you attracted as long as she can without giving anything in return. Above all else, this is validation for her.



In general, the reality is that a guy will persue a girl for ages and she will finally give in once she realises she has no better options. Men say that persistence won her over, but deep down, the woman will always know that she settled. I'm a firm believer that if there is no initial (physical) attraction then there never will be. In terms of growing to love somebody in an emotional sense it's different, I believe that can happen over time.



Definately do not do this. Trust me when I say that is the only thing she wants from this interaction. She wants that sweet sweet validation and if you give it to her she will lose interest immediately.

My advice is to lose this chick, however, you can start pushing her buttons by selectively giving and then taking away attention from her. This and acting assertively gets women going for some reason. I guess they think themselves to be powerful or special if they can tame some unpredictable/wild guy.

I hope I don't sound like a dick I just hate to see guys suffer from female manuipulation.

I really enjoyed reading your post, thanks :)

If you have any other general advice to offer, I would love to learn some!

[juicykeyboard]

I really enjoyed reading your post, thanks :)

If you have any other general advice to offer, I would love to learn some!

I think you've actually done pretty well here. You asked a girl out (alot of guys don't even get this far), she rebuffed you and you moved on. This is basically the perfect way to do it, your just a little confused now because she is trying to manipulate you. In the end it's just a numbers game, if you ask out every girl you're attracted to, one of them will feel the same way. It just sucks getting rejected so many times lol.

If you're more interested about the female nature type stuff there's lots of things you can read. There's a whole field of science called evolutionary biology which talks about sexual preferences and behaviours. An example could be that women have evolved a preference to maintain a group of 'orbiters' because in the ancient past, when their partners died from conflict with other tribes or whatever, they immediately had another guy to latch onto who would protect them and procreate. In the case of the women that didn't maintain these type of relationships they would be more likely to die without male protection so those genes (and behaviours) would not be passed on and over time this behaviour would die out. So now in the modern world we've got women like the girl you were talking about who still behave in this way even though it's not needed, they just wired that way genetically.

There's more practical information you can find written by 'pickup artists' like The Game. You have to sift though a lot of bullshit written by these guys to find the good bits but they are there. Another book I found helpful is called Love Signals by David Givens.

Hope that helps a bit, I'm no expert on picking up women, I just find human behaviour (especially women) really fascinating and have put effort into learning more about it.

[YI88]

Thanks jkb. Evolutionary biology explains many things without needing to ascribe malice or inadequacy to anyone. I certainly wish that E B had been invented when I was in high school. I would have got laid sooner and more often, and perhaps more importantly, felt less bad about what seemed to be deliberately unreasonable female behavior.

[juicykeyboard]

Thanks jkb. Evolutionary biology explains many things without needing to ascribe malice or inadequacy to anyone. I certainly wish that E B had been invented when I was in high school. I would have got laid sooner and more often, and perhaps more importantly, felt less bad about what seemed to be deliberately unreasonable female behavior.

Yeah I agree. It's so easy to get angry or feel bad when people act in certain ways, but if you can rationalise why they have acted that way it helps to de-personalise it so you don't end up thinking it's your own fault.

[kitchen hand]

I asked her while she was working, but what I said was, are you free for a coffee after you finish.

If you are near the casino with bars close by, I would have bought her a more fancy/expensive drink if one can afford it.

[swag_romeo]

Personally, I am very persistent and keep asking the girl. Sometimes multiple times.

With my ex gf who was a WL, at one stage she even moved in with me. We shared the same bed together for a period in time but when things got serious, nothing materialised.

I sensed she was about to break up with me later on so I proposed marriage in a desperate attempt to salvage our relationship.

Soon after, she dumped me for a older Western guy. I sensed this guy was successful career wise and loyal which many of her "courters" wont. She had many sugar daddies but they all cheated on her. This elder western guy was different.

I guess I had too many flaws for a marriage relationship.

But I am still looking to marry a ML/WL.

I know many people do not think marrying a ML/WL is sustainable but I disagree and will keep asking the question "Will you marry me?"

[Punt69]

Personally, I am very persistent and keep asking the girl. Sometimes multiple times.

With my ex gf who was a WL, at one stage she even moved in with me. We shared the same bed together for a period in time but when things got serious, nothing materialised.

I sensed she was about to break up with me later on so I proposed marriage in a desperate attempt to salvage our relationship.

Soon after, she dumped me for a older Western guy. I sensed this guy was successful career wise and loyal which many of her "courters" wont. She had many sugar daddies but they all cheated on her. This elder western guy was different.

I guess I had too many flaws for a marriage relationship.

But I am still looking to marry a ML/WL.

I know many people do not think marrying a ML/WL is sustainable but I disagree and will keep asking the question "Will you marry me?"

lol mate...

[juicykeyboard]

Personally, I am very persistent and keep asking the girl. Sometimes multiple times.

With my ex gf who was a WL, at one stage she even moved in with me. We shared the same bed together for a period in time but when things got serious, nothing materialised.

I sensed she was about to break up with me later on so I proposed marriage in a desperate attempt to salvage our relationship.

Soon after, she dumped me for a older Western guy. I sensed this guy was successful career wise and loyal which many of her "courters" wont. She had many sugar daddies but they all cheated on her. This elder western guy was different.

I guess I had too many flaws for a marriage relationship.

But I am still looking to marry a ML/WL.

I know many people do not think marrying a ML/WL is sustainable but I disagree and will keep asking the question "Will you marry me?"

Couldn't stop laughing reading this.

[NaughtyBoy13]

Personally, I am very persistent and keep asking the girl. Sometimes multiple times.

With my ex gf who was a WL, at one stage she even moved in with me. We shared the same bed together for a period in time but when things got serious, nothing materialised.

I sensed she was about to break up with me later on so I proposed marriage in a desperate attempt to salvage our relationship.

Soon after, she dumped me for a older Western guy. I sensed this guy was successful career wise and loyal which many of her "courters" wont. She had many sugar daddies but they all cheated on her. This elder western guy was different.

I guess I had too many flaws for a marriage relationship.

But I am still looking to marry a ML/WL.

I know many people do not think marrying a ML/WL is sustainable but I disagree and will keep asking the question "Will you marry me?"
I dont feel funny about your comment like the others did. I'm agreed with ya' :) I don't mind to marry a WL !

[juicykeyboard]

I dont feel funny about your comment like the others did. I'm agreed with ya' :) I don't mind to marry a WL !

I thought that post was actually a joke, maybe it is serious. Would you really marry a WL? Just doesn't seem like a great idea to me although I'm sure it has worked out for some people in the past.

[NaughtyBoy13]

I thought that post was actually a joke, maybe it is serious. Would you really marry a WL? Just doesn't seem like a great idea to me although I'm sure it has worked out for some people in the past.

Its not joking, man. WLs or MLs they are human, too. If they are good in character, if they are nice person, and if they are serious and honest. I will marry them :) You don't know there are 2 persons inside their body, because of some reasons they need to work for money, they feel shame about their job too. But good MLs or WLs is smaller part :)

[AHLUNGOR]

Its not joking, man. WLs or MLs they are human, too. If they are good in character, if they are nice person, and if they are serious and honest. I will marry them :) You don't know there are 2 persons inside their body, because of some reasons they need to work for money, they feel shame about their job too. But good MLs or WLs is smaller part :)

Heard plenty of stories on WLs and MLs I used to see getting married and live happily ever after!

And personally knew a few too ! The work was just a job , and they are lovely ladies !

[NaughtyBoy13]

Heard plenty of stories on WLs and MLs I used to see getting married and live happily ever after!

And personally knew a few too ! The work was just a job , and they are lovely ladies !

Thats correct, man !

[juicykeyboard]

Its not joking, man. WLs or MLs they are human, too. If they are good in character, if they are nice person, and if they are serious and honest. I will marry them :) You don't know there are 2 persons inside their body, because of some reasons they need to work for money, they feel shame about their job too. But good MLs or WLs is smaller part :)

Yeah your right, good on you. Some of them are really great people as well.

[NaughtyBoy13]

Yeah your right, good on you. Some of them are really great people as well.

Sure man, like you said: some of them are nice :)

[swag_romeo]

lol mate...

To be honest, I even talked to her about kids. I mean I really want to be a father and have a son one day.

But I guess being a heavy smoker and financially unstable, I don't have much to offer in a marriage relationship in terms of health and financial stability?

I tried to talk to her and her friends but I think people are starting to pity me. :(

[JimBeam]

As someone who used to work at crown back in the days, uni days.. There is no policies as such where it prevents us to say no when someone actually asks us out.. not a rule where we are not to give out our number.. I did give out my number a couple of time to a customer.. But having said that we have to maintain a good customer service such as small chit chat and eye contact as such.. Anyway you be the judge and good luck..

[Milhouse]

Update:

Saw her tonight when her table was empty so I walked over to talk. I sat down and we started talking, then some others came over to play. She said something like "oh, now people are coming to play" (meaning she was feeling lazy) and I said "it's alright, I'll play" and she told me not to and to save my money.

We kept talking throughout as the other people played, until her rotation ended and she went on a break.

I'm just wondering if it is a good sign that she asked me NOT to play? I mean, what dealer tells a customer not to play? And what if her supervisors over heard her??

[puppy123]

will ask again dude

[dirtykunt69]

Just be upfront dude... please.

Next time when you're alone at the table.... say to her 'look at my eyes..... what does it say?..... it says I wanna fuck the shit out of you'.

who knows she might like bad cunts, and not soft cocks.

[AHLUNGOR]

Update:

Saw her tonight when her table was empty so I walked over to talk. I sat down and we started talking, then some others came over to play. She said something like "oh, now people are coming to play" (meaning she was feeling lazy) and I said "it's alright, I'll play" and she told me not to and to save my money.

We kept talking throughout as the other people played, until her rotation ended and she went on a break.

I'm just wondering if it is a good sign that she asked me NOT to play? I mean, what dealer tells a customer not to play? And what if her supervisors over heard her??


Well, sounds like you have made up your mind, and determine to go for it, so why die wondering, have a go, either way, you can move on brother.

no pain, no glory !! what's the worst case, she said no and sorry ?


All the best,

Cheers

[NaughtyBoy13]

But the fact is very hard to get a ML or WL go out with you :) ML would be a little bit easier.

[wilisno]

But the fact is very hard to get a ML or WL go out with you :) ML would be a little bit easier.

Not really hard ! ;) ;) ;)

[Eureka]

Not really hard ! ;) ;) ;)

:) :) :) :) :)

[BigBoy]

From my experience, it all comes back to money with ML's / WL's. Sure, they might go out with you and would have sex with you - but inevitably it comes back to them wanting money. Most of them see us as walking penis's with wallets.. Sure, they are nice about it - but thats what their job entails.

[AHLUNGOR]

The lady in question is not a WL or ml though !

[NaughtyBoy13]

Not really hard ! ;) ;) ;)
Might be different circumstances between us. I'm younger or I havent achieved a sussessful life as others :)

[wilisno]

From my experience, it all comes back to money with ML's / WL's. Sure, they might go out with you and would have sex with you - but inevitably it comes back to them wanting money. Most of them see us as walking penis's with wallets.. Sure, they are nice about it - but thats what their job entails.

It's your experience only ! ;) ;) ;)

[NaughtyBoy13]

If you treat them as WL

They will look at you as an ATM :miao:
Treat them as WL or not? Thats the way they are. And money is all they think of

[Eureka]

From my experience, it all comes back to money with ML's / WL's. Sure, they might go out with you and would have sex with you - but inevitably it comes back to them wanting money. Most of them see us as walking penis's with wallets.. Sure, they are nice about it - but thats what their job entails.


Treat them as WL or not? Thats the way they are. And money is all they think of

Well how can I put this ....
If you are both saying ie "all ML & WL" are only interested in money - then you are wrong !!
I have and are "experiencing" multiple exceptions !! :) :)

All girls (ML/ WL or not) have a variety of interests for you to stimulate ...
- humour
- consideration
- each experience of life & love
- appreciation of arts
- appreciation of food
So they have these interests if you have something to offer in these and related stimulus - and no money ever changes hands!

But -- if all you have to offer is money ... well that's all they can take isn't it ..
That's your shortcoming mate not theirs !!

So 5 Star is spot on -- if all you have to contribute between you both is to treat them within the boundary of ML/WL experiences - that is all you get ie being treated like an ATM

But it will be you who squandered the opportunities to expand the basis of interaction not these delightful creatures :)

[wilisno]

Well how can I put this ....
If you are both saying ie "all ML & WL" are only interested in money - then you are wrong !!
I have and are "experiencing" multiple exceptions !! :) :)

All girls (ML/ WL or not) have a variety of interests for you to stimulate ...
- humour
- consideration
- appreciation of arts
- appreciation of food
So they have these interests if you have something to offer - and no money ever changes hands!

But -- if all you have to offer is money ... well that's all they can take isn't it ..
That's your shortcoming mate note theirs !!

So 5 Star is spot on -- if all you have to contribute between you both is to treat them within the boundary of ML/WL experiences - that is all you get ie being treated like an ATM

But it will be you who squandered the opportunities to expand the basis of interaction not these delightful creatures :)
Coincidentally, both of them are boys ! ;) ;) ;)

Joking ! Naughtyboy13, although you said it yourself that you're young ! ;) ;) ;)

[Natsu]

From my experience, it all comes back to money with ML's / WL's. Sure, they might go out with you and would have sex with you - but inevitably it comes back to them wanting money. Most of them see us as walking penis's with wallets.. Sure, they are nice about it - but thats what their job entails.

I used to date WL back in the days!
I rarely used my money on her.
We just enjoyed each other company.
And one day we went to casino, and she won some money, she even wants to share it with me!
Of course I didn't take it.
Outside work they are just a normal girl who need some love and affection!

[Littlewonder]

If you like her ask her again she can only say no. What have you got to loose?

[Milhouse]

If you like her ask her again she can only say no. What have you got to loose?

My pride lol.

[NaughtyBoy13]

Well how can I put this ....
If you are both saying ie "all ML & WL" are only interested in money - then you are wrong !!
I have and are "experiencing" multiple exceptions !! :) :)

All girls (ML/ WL or not) have a variety of interests for you to stimulate ...
- humour
- consideration
- each experience of life & love
- appreciation of arts
- appreciation of food
So they have these interests if you have something to offer in these and related stimulus - and no money ever changes hands!

But -- if all you have to offer is money ... well that's all they can take isn't it ..
That's your shortcoming mate not theirs !!

So 5 Star is spot on -- if all you have to contribute between you both is to treat them within the boundary of ML/WL experiences - that is all you get ie being treated like an ATM

But it will be you who squandered the opportunities to expand the basis of interaction not these delightful creatures :)

I didn't say 100% they are all like that. But there are some exception. I agreed, but mainly they work for money and they can't stop because of the money they make and they don't know what else they can do.

[Nejums]

Pride is the sign of a foolish man.

[yug]

With WL, I have found you can ask her out if you have proven yourself as a regular and that you will treat her nicely.
Small gifts here and there will do the trick too.

[NaughtyBoy13]

Coincidentally, both of them are boys ! ;) ;) ;)

Joking ! Naughtyboy13, although you said it yourself that you're young ! ;) ;) ;)

Well, yes or no. I almost 30 yo :) not young anymore.

[Eureka]

If you like her ask her again she can only say no. What have you got to loose?


My pride lol.

I hope your Pride will keep you warm at night and company watching a sunset or looking at the stars together !!

Get real mate - life isn't supposed to be safe it's for living and taking worthwhile risks

So as the saying goes-- "take a spoonful of concrete and harden the fuck up !!"

[illidanstormrage]

If you treat them as WL

They will look at you as an ATM :miao:

Spot on... but for arguments sake how would you treat a girl like a 'WL'? Putting them on a pedestal? Complimenting them excessively?

I'm sure Mr 5* here has had quite a few laughs at some of the stories the girls might tell about the punters being extremely needy or just ridiculous offers. As it would be in the other shops.

I don't think guys should overemphasize whether a girl is a ML/WL.

You should be aware of it but at the end of the day comparing a 'normal' girl to an ML/WL. One is just more aware of her sexual power and is used to getting paid for using it. So maybe that is an important distinction after all.


When you use money to try and impress women, it sends a terrible message: You’re not enough.

[Blazinsp25]

We can hypothesise as much as we want to why girls do things.... We'll never figure them out loll
But imo girls will always be hesitant in this day and age.
Especially with so many troubled individuals and especially since she doesnt know you.
I think the time when a random guy asks a girl out who she doesnt know is over
With social media so prominent why wouldnt a girl do her homework on you first to see if youre even worth it?
I say exchange contact details and/or add friend on social media and take it from there!

Goodluck!

[Milhouse]

Today I had memories of her when we used to chat before I asked her out, and I remember back then I was pretty sure she was interested, yet obviously I was wrong. So how can I even be confident this time around that I am right?

I guess the only thing that has changed is I made my intention known by asking her out, and even after that she seems to be displaying what I would call interest.

I'm just so confused...

[AHLUNGOR]

We can hypothesise as much as we want to why girls do things.... We'll never figure them out loll
But imo girls will always be hesitant in this day and age.
Especially with so many troubled individuals and especially since she doesnt know you.
I think the time when a random guy asks a girl out who she doesnt know is over
With social media so prominent why wouldnt a girl do her homework on you first to see if youre even worth it?
I say exchange contact details and/or add friend on social media and take it from there!

Goodluck!

Very good point, Facebook and Whatsapp will be much safer for the girls point of view !! Add each other as friend and take it from there !

I think it's easier to ask: can I add you as my Facebook friend ? than to ask: would you like to go out with me after work ??

[rooter]

Pay ... Fuck ... Leave ... the unholy trinity ... and the ultimate truth ... Enjoy! ...

[Milhouse]

Congratulations, you just learned one of the best ways to manipulate women, give them attection then deny it to them.

The problem in your situation is that it looks like she wants you as an 'orbiter'. Women love getting attention from men and will keep a stable of guys around them who give them male validation. The sucky thing for the guys is that she will never sleep with any of them (unless she intends to use them as a backup if she gets old/ugly etc).



This is textbook female behaviour, they are expert at manipulating men this way. Every guy who reads this has gone through the exact same experience you are right now.



Exactly... and this girl is not acting in this manner, what does that tell you? her only intention 'is' to lead you on. Immature/attention seeking/manipulative women will try to keep you attracted as long as she can without giving anything in return. Above all else, this is validation for her.



In general, the reality is that a guy will persue a girl for ages and she will finally give in once she realises she has no better options. Men say that persistence won her over, but deep down, the woman will always know that she settled. I'm a firm believer that if there is no initial (physical) attraction then there never will be. In terms of growing to love somebody in an emotional sense it's different, I believe that can happen over time.



Definately do not do this. Trust me when I say that is the only thing she wants from this interaction. She wants that sweet sweet validation and if you give it to her she will lose interest immediately.

My advice is to lose this chick, however, you can start pushing her buttons by selectively giving and then taking away attention from her. This and acting assertively gets women going for some reason. I guess they think themselves to be powerful or special if they can tame some unpredictable/wild guy.

I hope I don't sound like a dick I just hate to see guys suffer from female manuipulation.

The more I think about it, the more I think all of the above applies to this girl. My question is, how can I use that in my favour? If she only likes my attention, then I think, as you say, when I ask her out she will say no. However, I also think when women are in this situation (being given attention and then having it denied), that they aren't conscious of that and feel confused enough to think that they actually like the guy.

[Nejums]

Just keep your distance, mate. You play hard to get now.

[Milhouse]

Just keep your distance, mate. You play hard to get now.

Ok...but this begs the question...how do I get something by staying away from it?

[leggedon]

Words of advice from over the years.
Women usually want what they can't have.
Treat them mean keep them keen.
Treat a lady like a whore and a whore like a lady.
And be confident.
Not cocky or arrogant but confidence gets them wet.

[GoldfishMan]

Ok...but this begs the question...how do I get something by staying away from it?
I think what the others are getting at is for you to "string" her along. Meaning you need to keep your distance, but not completely shut her out. Always leave a chance for something to happen but you mustn't be the one to initiate it. It's a very fine line to walk, mate!
TBH, the above requires a fair amount of skill, experience, and high EQ on your part to pull off. Also, if you have romantic tendencies or raging hormones, forget about it you will crash and burn for sure. Better ask yourself if you have what it takes to play this game!
If you do, go for it. It's extremely fun and rewarding if you pull it off. Good luck!

[bdjc]

Words of advice from over the years.
Women usually want what they can't have.
Treat them mean keep them keen.
Treat a lady like a whore and a whore like a lady.
And be confident.
Not cocky or arrogant but confidence gets them wet.

Wish i had read this while in high school

[juicykeyboard]

From my experience, it all comes back to money with women. Sure, they might go out with you and would have sex with you - but inevitably it comes back to them wanting money. Most of them see us as walking penis's with wallets.. Sure, they are nice about it - but thats what their job entails.

Fixed your post.

[juicykeyboard]

Words of advice from over the years.
Women usually want what they can't have.
Treat them mean keep them keen.
Treat a lady like a whore and a whore like a lady.
And be confident.
Not cocky or arrogant but confidence gets them wet.

Lol this is great, well said.

[juicykeyboard]

The more I think about it, the more I think all of the above applies to this girl. My question is, how can I use that in my favour?

I'm not sure it's possible as you have no leverage. She knows she has leverage over you so the power dynamic is heavily weighted in her favour. She knows she can get your attention for free so she is never going to pay for it per se. As far as I can see, the only way to proceed is to take the power in the relationship by displaying something she wants. Once you have something she wants, then the power dynamic will shift in your favour. All women want male validation so you can start there. Some guys are really good at doing the giving attention/taking it away thing to get women but at best it's just a short term game that is (in my opinion) very hard to get right. If you want true attraction you need one of or some combination of the big three 1. Power, 2. Money and 3. Looks. This is a good thing because they are all things you can start working on right now!


If she only likes my attention, then I think, as you say, when I ask her out she will say no.

Yeah I think you're getting it and also if you can weed out the women who are just attention seeking like this your love life will be alot simpler and better.


However, I also think when women are in this situation (being given attention and then having it denied), that they aren't conscious of that and feel confused enough to think that they actually like the guy.

Women don't think, they feel. The giving and denying attention may confuse their mind to some extent, but the main effect is that it makes them feel a certain way. I can only speculate but I think it has something to do with their perception that the guy acting this way is unpredictable which may imply further that he is edgy or even somewhat dangerous. This seriously makes women wet, if you can make them feel like they don't know what's coming next or if they are in some type of undefined vague type of danger, you have successfully become what our culture calls the 'bad boy' and you will fuck many of them.

[leggedon]

Wish i had read this while in high school

Me too!
If I knew this back then the world would be a very different place!

[Milhouse]

Women don't think, they feel.

This may be the most insightful thing I have read in my entire life.

Ever.

[Milhouse]

Update for those who care:

Yes, I caved. Saw her tonight and conversation going well, then I asked her out after her shift. She basically gave me the "I'm tired" line but tried to keep the conversation going, so I was like "ok, I'll leave you to it" and left.

Sad panda is sad.

[aussiegaigin]

Asking her to go out "after work" doesn't seem like a good idea.

Try asking her to have lunch on a day off.

[dufour]

Asking her to go out "after work" doesn't seem like a good idea.

Try asking her to have lunch on a day off.

Agree so obvious a bad move - if you want something out of the worplace you have to as much as you can distance that experience from the worplace !! Just common sense

Unfortunately this whole thread indicated bro Millhouse is clueless ..
You only get one decent shot - and he blew it

[garfield]

Suggest to OP to consider whats in it for her. He needs to entice her for something. An outing trip if she likes outdoor, a fancy dinner if she likes to eat out, etc.

Dont be too obvious you just want to go out late at night to fuck her.

[Milhouse]

Asking her to go out "after work" doesn't seem like a good idea.

Try asking her to have lunch on a day off.

I would like to believe this but 1) I think if someone really liked you they would go out with you no matter if it's after work or not, and 2) this was the second time I asked, so if she had really changed her mind about me after the first time she would've been eager to accept.

Guess she was just after attention after all.

[GoldfishMan]

Yep, you blew it bro. It was a game of chicken and you blinked. Tough luck, but all is not lost. The fact the game was on in the first place means she was at least slightly attracted to you. Just that you made the wrong moves. You can maintain acquaintance with her for now without expanding too much effort. When you do find a girlfriend in the near future, make sure you bring your gf with you and "accidentally" play at her table. Watch what happens then.

[Milhouse]

Yep, you blew it bro. It was a game of chicken and you blinked. Tough luck, but all is not lost. The fact the game was on in the first place means she was at least slightly attracted to you. Just that you made the wrong moves. You can maintain acquaintance with her for now without expanding too much effort. When you do find a girlfriend in the near future, make sure you bring your gf with you and "accidentally" play at her table. Watch what happens then.

Lol bro this reminded me of something...

A while after I asked her out the first time, I had moved on with other girls. One of these girls was a WL and we went to the casino one time. She was drop dead gorgeous and thr dealer that I like actually saw us together, with her wanting to hold my hand.

So maybe that was it...

[the_boss_king]

two things : persistence and confidence ;)

[aussiegaigin]

I would like to believe this but 1) I think if someone really liked you they would go out with you no matter if it's after work or not, and 2) this was the second time I asked, so if she had really changed her mind about me after the first time she would've been eager to accept.

Guess she was just after attention after all.

If you do believe it, that is your downfall. The girl is tired, she has probably had dozens of patrons chatting her up, you are just another one with the same dumb approach. The last thing she wants is to have to be nice to some guy she thinks just wants to bed her after a cup of coffee.

She doesn't want to go with you, so it seems to me she doesn't really like you.

Turning up with obvious WLs just reinforces her opinion of you.

Time to move on.

[Milhouse]

If you do believe it, that is your downfall. The girl is tired, she has probably had dozens of patrons chatting her up, you are just another one with the same dumb approach. The last thing she wants is to have to be nice to some guy she thinks just wants to bed her after a cup of coffee.

She doesn't want to go with you, so it seems to me she doesn't really like you.

Turning up with obvious WLs just reinforces her opinion of you.

Time to move on.

Bro, can you spot WLs in the casino or on the street?

[aussiegaigin]

Well, if they are touting for business, they usually try to make themselves obvious.

The fact that you highlighted your partner as a WL suggested you may have been flaunting that attribute to the girl. Apologies if I misconstrued your intentions.

[Milhouse]

Well, if they are touting for business, they usually try to make themselves obvious.

The fact that you highlighted your partner as a WL suggested you may have been flaunting that attribute to the girl. Apologies if I misconstrued your intentions.

No bro, I wasn't flaunting that attribute. Merely being honest as to who I was with.

[the_boss_king]

persistence is key.