Speechwriter
07-03-2017, 09:54 AM
When I was a punter of a different sort, we always looked for value.
In battling the bookies, your task is to find the horse they quote at 10-1, but all your information tells you it should be 5-1 or shorter. You’re looking for the horse paying over its "true" odds.
This punting is the same. Finding the value – that perfect balance of bang for your buck, literally.
Inspired by Punterman’s rabid exploits through Sydney’s value shops, I decide he and his ilk shouldn’t be left alone to hoover up all the value. We all know it’s out there. You just gotta find it.
This is why I booked a 1-hour session with Lisa at Penny’s 77 in Newtown yesterday.
Prelude
After some research, some PMs to other punters here (thanks guys), and 2 phone chats with Paul, the happy-go-lucky receptionist at 77, I'm getting out of the taxi ready to part with $150.
So, I’m not expecting much. Presumptuous, I know, and immediately unfair to Lisa. But in my efforts to extricate myself from the Ginza, PPP, 5 Star triangle, I just can’t get my head past the idea that you get what you pay for.
How’s this for evidence…
On the first phone call at 11am, Paul says: “Today we have Lisa, Jasmine and Bella.”
Who is the prettiest?
“Bella.”
Who is the happiest?
“Lisa”
I’ll take Lisa. See you at 1pm.
An hour later, Paul calls back.
“What time are you coming?
1pm. As arranged.
“OK, I’ll make sure a girl is available for you at 1pm.”
Here we go. An hour earlier I’ve made the booking for Lisa at 1pm. Now it’s “a girl” at 1pm. Memories of Angie at 533, the evil face-swap queen – or what did shooter call her? A pantomime villain? – come flooding back.
I can’t be fucked debating it, so I just say alright, whatever. I’m not one for line-ups, but he did say Bella was very pretty.
Arrival and intro
Up the stairs from the shabby chic of Enmore Road and I’m soon in the reception of 77. It’s gaudy, but nice. There’s no mistaking what happens here. Paul opens the big opaque glass door and gives me a warm welcome.
“You have a booking?”
Yes, Lisa at 1pm. I’m James.
“Ah yes, yes, James. Please…we have two girls available – Thai Lisa and Chinese Bella.”
At which point, Lisa walks out.
Muscular, short (even in high heels) push-up bikini top making her look bustier than what she is. Bikini bottoms. Wide face. Long brown hair. Mid-to-late 20s. Big pretend smile. She stares at me and looks underwhelmed.
I take no offence. I’m used to it.
Disclaimer: I’m 43 years old. From the neck up, I look 45. From the neck down, 28. This is what swimming 2km every morning for 5 years does for you. And while I’m no Paul Newman circa 1958, I know Lisa will warm to me when she takes my clothes off. They all do.
I tell Paul not to bother Bella, and Lisa leads me down a long hallway to a very comfortable, modern room. Huge ensuite shower, nice big square bed, and mirrors everywhere. These prove crucial later on. For Lisa.
“Please have a shower and I will be back.”
The shower
I undress, and it’s just me. Lisa has been gone 5 minutes now, and I’m soaping myself alone. The flashbacks kick in – Asako at PPP; Cristal at 5 Star; everyone at Ginza. I finish my ever-so-lonely shower, wondering which one of those 3 establishments I’ll visit next.
The blowjob
When Lisa returns, she’s ripping off her gear before I can say a thing. I step out of the shower and she comes over and starts a standing cat bath. It’s nice. After 2 minutes, she reaches into her little bag of tricks and pulls out a rubber. There goes any chance of a BBBJ. Not to worry. I’m in economy class, after all.
She suits me up, sits on the bed, and takes me in her mouth. It’s wet and warm. No eye contact. A few little moans. A nice measured rhythm. It is the least sensual BJ I’ve had for a long while. I think she’s nervous.
Time to take control.
DATY
I pull out of Lisa’s mouth, like a gentleman, and position her firmly but gently on the bed. I go to kiss her on the neck, and she turns her head away sharply.
“No kissing lips.”
Er, OK, I wasn’t aiming for the lips. But good to know.
I continue to my original destination and Lisa enjoys the smooch. I move to her shoulders and B-cup tits, and her nipples are hardening quickly. I continue further south, and I feel Lisa tighten. She moves both her hands to cover her pussy. Like a chastity belt.
“Pussy no licking.”
Er, OK, that’s your call. There will be no dining out today, either. Shame. I reckon you would have liked what I had planned. Your loss.
Fucking
So, there’s not much left, is there?
Lisa makes it clear that she’s happy for me to touch her pussy, so we go with that. She’s warming up, slowly. She has even opened her eyes a few times by now.
All this time, I’ve stayed hard and the dom has stayed on, so I position myself for some easy missionary.
Lisa is tight, but she’s ready. I ease in, and finally, a warm reaction. A moan, the eyes open wide and, for the first time in our session, Lisa grabs me like she wants to be there.
Lisa is short, and chunky, and strong. I pull her to the end of the bed, stand, and slowly pump her to the rhythm of the pop music in the room.
“Yes, yes…”
Her eyes are closed tight again now. Her face pointed away from me. Mmm…
I wrap her legs around my arms and pull her onto me with a little more force. Her face turns towards me. I quicken my pace a little, then a little more, then a little more. She opens her eyes.
Are you OK Lisa?
“Yes, yes…”
A little faster. A little harder. A little deeper. Balls deep now.
“Yes, yes…”
Lisa is a quiet little thing. There are no moans of enjoyment, and no gasps of delight, so I’m not sure whether she’s into this at all. Or into me. I just don’t think we’ve clicked.
However, she tells me she is coming, but I just can’t be sure. And you know, if you’re not sure, then chances are it’s not happening.
Mechanically, slowly, I build myself to my own pleasure. I come in the dom as Lisa closes her eyes and turns her head away once more.
The massage
We clean up and Lisa suggests a massage. Why not. We’re not doing much else.
Lisa has strong hands and she performs what is a passable massage on my calves, hamstrings, buttocks, lower back, and upper back. It feels nice.
But once again, I realise that I’m face down looking at a pillow, and I want round 2. At this stage, I’m thinking of a CIM to finish, so I tell Lisa I want to flip over and she gets the message.
Round 2
Lisa starts by kissing and tongue flicking my nipples. I’m stiffening. She notices. She leaves the bed, goes to her little bag of tricks again and applies a dom with her mouth.
This is when I realise that Lisa’s main play is her BJ, so I let her get me hard. Me on my back, Lisa’s head bobbing up and down on what soon becomes the hardest cock I’ve had all day.
Just as I start to think about a nice position for me to finish in her mouth, Lisa leaves again for her bag of tricks. This time it’s lube. She applies the lube to my covered cock, and positions herself for some cowgirl. OK. We’ll go with that. She even looks keen.
Lisa jumps on and starts to grind away, looking at herself in the mirror behind me and to my left. She reaches behind her head and lets out her hair. While it’s not quite a Nikon moment, it revs me up some more, which in turn revs Lisa up some more. Now we’re talking. Finally!
It’s like Lisa is a new girl. Her hands are now firm on my chest for balance, she’s grinding away, raising her voice, hair flailing about, looking at herself fuck in the mirror. She really likes to look at the action in the mirror. After 5 minutes…
“Coming, coming…”
And this time there’s no doubt. She continues to grind throughout her orgasm. She’s quite a sight. Arched back, tits standing erect, cascading hair, meaty arse quivering. She’s finally enjoying herself.
This leaves me laying beneath her with a hard cock and balls half full of come. I’m still imagining a CIM finish, but Lisa continues to grind and push and bump. I start to bang her back just as hard.
“Coming, coming…”
This time she’s talking about me. Can I be bothered to pull out now and line her up for a CIM? The classic porn film finish, with Lisa on her knees and me pretending to blow a hole in the back of her neck?
As it turns out, I couldn’t be bothered. I let Lisa bring me to a second blow with her grinding on top of me. It’s OK for me, but she does look great from this angle.
The clean-up
Lisa grinds me dry. Round 2 was more intense and more enjoyable. However, just as I was looking for a tender post-fuck moment, Lisa’s back into business mode. It’s clean up time.
She hops down, moves quickly off the bed, and tells me I should use the shower first. Er, OK. Let’s do that. She busies herself once more in her little bag of tricks.
I saunter over to the lonely shower – there’s enough room here for 4 people – and I think how I’d like to fill it with Asako, Cristal, and Jolin.
I clean myself, dress myself, say thank you to Lisa with a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, and leave the room. She’s a few steps behind, all dressed up in her high heels, bikini and hair down. I shoot her a glance and realise that in the right hands, with the right man, she’d be a tidy little fuck. Alas…
The takeout
Just. Didn’t. Click.
At least not until the part where Lisa was riding me like one of those mechanical bulls that were popular in Sydney’s pubs during the late 80s. She can move when she wants to.
The first 40 minutes -- when there were a few starfish moments -- were two people going through the $150-shop motions. The next 15 were wild, with Lisa looking at me with a desire to fuck my brains out. Wonderful. The final five minutes were cold and flat.
No kissing. No DATY. No shower together pre-or post. Eyes wide shut for way too much of the gig, head turned away, hands covering pussy for protection.
This is all my bad, really. I should have checked all this with receptionist Mr Paul before we blew time on. Had I known there was no kiss, no lick, and no mutual soap – all big ones for me – I would have asked for someone else.
That’s what I’ll do if I return to Penny’s 77. It’s a nice enough place. Clean, modern, comfortable. Easy to book. Easy to find. Mr Paul is a character. If Lisa represents the overall standard in looks, then I reckon there's some value waiting here for most punters.
Just triple-check what’s on offer from each girl for your $150.
And if there is a next time for me, I’m going the line-up.
In battling the bookies, your task is to find the horse they quote at 10-1, but all your information tells you it should be 5-1 or shorter. You’re looking for the horse paying over its "true" odds.
This punting is the same. Finding the value – that perfect balance of bang for your buck, literally.
Inspired by Punterman’s rabid exploits through Sydney’s value shops, I decide he and his ilk shouldn’t be left alone to hoover up all the value. We all know it’s out there. You just gotta find it.
This is why I booked a 1-hour session with Lisa at Penny’s 77 in Newtown yesterday.
Prelude
After some research, some PMs to other punters here (thanks guys), and 2 phone chats with Paul, the happy-go-lucky receptionist at 77, I'm getting out of the taxi ready to part with $150.
So, I’m not expecting much. Presumptuous, I know, and immediately unfair to Lisa. But in my efforts to extricate myself from the Ginza, PPP, 5 Star triangle, I just can’t get my head past the idea that you get what you pay for.
How’s this for evidence…
On the first phone call at 11am, Paul says: “Today we have Lisa, Jasmine and Bella.”
Who is the prettiest?
“Bella.”
Who is the happiest?
“Lisa”
I’ll take Lisa. See you at 1pm.
An hour later, Paul calls back.
“What time are you coming?
1pm. As arranged.
“OK, I’ll make sure a girl is available for you at 1pm.”
Here we go. An hour earlier I’ve made the booking for Lisa at 1pm. Now it’s “a girl” at 1pm. Memories of Angie at 533, the evil face-swap queen – or what did shooter call her? A pantomime villain? – come flooding back.
I can’t be fucked debating it, so I just say alright, whatever. I’m not one for line-ups, but he did say Bella was very pretty.
Arrival and intro
Up the stairs from the shabby chic of Enmore Road and I’m soon in the reception of 77. It’s gaudy, but nice. There’s no mistaking what happens here. Paul opens the big opaque glass door and gives me a warm welcome.
“You have a booking?”
Yes, Lisa at 1pm. I’m James.
“Ah yes, yes, James. Please…we have two girls available – Thai Lisa and Chinese Bella.”
At which point, Lisa walks out.
Muscular, short (even in high heels) push-up bikini top making her look bustier than what she is. Bikini bottoms. Wide face. Long brown hair. Mid-to-late 20s. Big pretend smile. She stares at me and looks underwhelmed.
I take no offence. I’m used to it.
Disclaimer: I’m 43 years old. From the neck up, I look 45. From the neck down, 28. This is what swimming 2km every morning for 5 years does for you. And while I’m no Paul Newman circa 1958, I know Lisa will warm to me when she takes my clothes off. They all do.
I tell Paul not to bother Bella, and Lisa leads me down a long hallway to a very comfortable, modern room. Huge ensuite shower, nice big square bed, and mirrors everywhere. These prove crucial later on. For Lisa.
“Please have a shower and I will be back.”
The shower
I undress, and it’s just me. Lisa has been gone 5 minutes now, and I’m soaping myself alone. The flashbacks kick in – Asako at PPP; Cristal at 5 Star; everyone at Ginza. I finish my ever-so-lonely shower, wondering which one of those 3 establishments I’ll visit next.
The blowjob
When Lisa returns, she’s ripping off her gear before I can say a thing. I step out of the shower and she comes over and starts a standing cat bath. It’s nice. After 2 minutes, she reaches into her little bag of tricks and pulls out a rubber. There goes any chance of a BBBJ. Not to worry. I’m in economy class, after all.
She suits me up, sits on the bed, and takes me in her mouth. It’s wet and warm. No eye contact. A few little moans. A nice measured rhythm. It is the least sensual BJ I’ve had for a long while. I think she’s nervous.
Time to take control.
DATY
I pull out of Lisa’s mouth, like a gentleman, and position her firmly but gently on the bed. I go to kiss her on the neck, and she turns her head away sharply.
“No kissing lips.”
Er, OK, I wasn’t aiming for the lips. But good to know.
I continue to my original destination and Lisa enjoys the smooch. I move to her shoulders and B-cup tits, and her nipples are hardening quickly. I continue further south, and I feel Lisa tighten. She moves both her hands to cover her pussy. Like a chastity belt.
“Pussy no licking.”
Er, OK, that’s your call. There will be no dining out today, either. Shame. I reckon you would have liked what I had planned. Your loss.
Fucking
So, there’s not much left, is there?
Lisa makes it clear that she’s happy for me to touch her pussy, so we go with that. She’s warming up, slowly. She has even opened her eyes a few times by now.
All this time, I’ve stayed hard and the dom has stayed on, so I position myself for some easy missionary.
Lisa is tight, but she’s ready. I ease in, and finally, a warm reaction. A moan, the eyes open wide and, for the first time in our session, Lisa grabs me like she wants to be there.
Lisa is short, and chunky, and strong. I pull her to the end of the bed, stand, and slowly pump her to the rhythm of the pop music in the room.
“Yes, yes…”
Her eyes are closed tight again now. Her face pointed away from me. Mmm…
I wrap her legs around my arms and pull her onto me with a little more force. Her face turns towards me. I quicken my pace a little, then a little more, then a little more. She opens her eyes.
Are you OK Lisa?
“Yes, yes…”
A little faster. A little harder. A little deeper. Balls deep now.
“Yes, yes…”
Lisa is a quiet little thing. There are no moans of enjoyment, and no gasps of delight, so I’m not sure whether she’s into this at all. Or into me. I just don’t think we’ve clicked.
However, she tells me she is coming, but I just can’t be sure. And you know, if you’re not sure, then chances are it’s not happening.
Mechanically, slowly, I build myself to my own pleasure. I come in the dom as Lisa closes her eyes and turns her head away once more.
The massage
We clean up and Lisa suggests a massage. Why not. We’re not doing much else.
Lisa has strong hands and she performs what is a passable massage on my calves, hamstrings, buttocks, lower back, and upper back. It feels nice.
But once again, I realise that I’m face down looking at a pillow, and I want round 2. At this stage, I’m thinking of a CIM to finish, so I tell Lisa I want to flip over and she gets the message.
Round 2
Lisa starts by kissing and tongue flicking my nipples. I’m stiffening. She notices. She leaves the bed, goes to her little bag of tricks again and applies a dom with her mouth.
This is when I realise that Lisa’s main play is her BJ, so I let her get me hard. Me on my back, Lisa’s head bobbing up and down on what soon becomes the hardest cock I’ve had all day.
Just as I start to think about a nice position for me to finish in her mouth, Lisa leaves again for her bag of tricks. This time it’s lube. She applies the lube to my covered cock, and positions herself for some cowgirl. OK. We’ll go with that. She even looks keen.
Lisa jumps on and starts to grind away, looking at herself in the mirror behind me and to my left. She reaches behind her head and lets out her hair. While it’s not quite a Nikon moment, it revs me up some more, which in turn revs Lisa up some more. Now we’re talking. Finally!
It’s like Lisa is a new girl. Her hands are now firm on my chest for balance, she’s grinding away, raising her voice, hair flailing about, looking at herself fuck in the mirror. She really likes to look at the action in the mirror. After 5 minutes…
“Coming, coming…”
And this time there’s no doubt. She continues to grind throughout her orgasm. She’s quite a sight. Arched back, tits standing erect, cascading hair, meaty arse quivering. She’s finally enjoying herself.
This leaves me laying beneath her with a hard cock and balls half full of come. I’m still imagining a CIM finish, but Lisa continues to grind and push and bump. I start to bang her back just as hard.
“Coming, coming…”
This time she’s talking about me. Can I be bothered to pull out now and line her up for a CIM? The classic porn film finish, with Lisa on her knees and me pretending to blow a hole in the back of her neck?
As it turns out, I couldn’t be bothered. I let Lisa bring me to a second blow with her grinding on top of me. It’s OK for me, but she does look great from this angle.
The clean-up
Lisa grinds me dry. Round 2 was more intense and more enjoyable. However, just as I was looking for a tender post-fuck moment, Lisa’s back into business mode. It’s clean up time.
She hops down, moves quickly off the bed, and tells me I should use the shower first. Er, OK. Let’s do that. She busies herself once more in her little bag of tricks.
I saunter over to the lonely shower – there’s enough room here for 4 people – and I think how I’d like to fill it with Asako, Cristal, and Jolin.
I clean myself, dress myself, say thank you to Lisa with a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, and leave the room. She’s a few steps behind, all dressed up in her high heels, bikini and hair down. I shoot her a glance and realise that in the right hands, with the right man, she’d be a tidy little fuck. Alas…
The takeout
Just. Didn’t. Click.
At least not until the part where Lisa was riding me like one of those mechanical bulls that were popular in Sydney’s pubs during the late 80s. She can move when she wants to.
The first 40 minutes -- when there were a few starfish moments -- were two people going through the $150-shop motions. The next 15 were wild, with Lisa looking at me with a desire to fuck my brains out. Wonderful. The final five minutes were cold and flat.
No kissing. No DATY. No shower together pre-or post. Eyes wide shut for way too much of the gig, head turned away, hands covering pussy for protection.
This is all my bad, really. I should have checked all this with receptionist Mr Paul before we blew time on. Had I known there was no kiss, no lick, and no mutual soap – all big ones for me – I would have asked for someone else.
That’s what I’ll do if I return to Penny’s 77. It’s a nice enough place. Clean, modern, comfortable. Easy to book. Easy to find. Mr Paul is a character. If Lisa represents the overall standard in looks, then I reckon there's some value waiting here for most punters.
Just triple-check what’s on offer from each girl for your $150.
And if there is a next time for me, I’m going the line-up.