Kristen - CRAZY BITCH

[19YearOldFcker]

Yes, I'm 19 years old. I guess that makes me a lot younger than most brothel connoisseurs out there but you know what? I'm horny and curious so here I am, outside the door step of what looks like a dilapidated shit house.

A tall dude with a purple business shirt and glasses opens the door with a big smile. This guy seems happy. Almost too happy. I hand him the cash and he vanishes. I'm left alone in a room with a bed that has one too many cum stains. I take out my phone, open Tinder and a few failed swipes later, Kristen opens the door.

Holy shit, she looks absolutely amazing. I try not to be too creepy but I couldn't help but look at her body. In the shower, she tells me I look like I'm 14 and then proceeds to ask whether I'm "experienced" in sex. Why yes I am Kristen I'm glad you asked. I'm a multi award winning author of two how-to-have-great-sex guides for men of all ages. Are you kidding me Kristen? I look like I just hit puberty. Of course I'm horse shit at sex.

You know, I would love to say I hit all her G-spots and made her orgasm non-stop. But truth is, I couldn't even get it up most of the time. It was extremely embarrassing for me to be honest. 100% not her fault though. I think I'm not used to having sex or something. I can cum in 10 seconds flat if I masterbate myself but for some reason sex is different.

In case anyone wants to know (I'm not sure why anyone would), we did these positions: cowgirl, mish, doggy, handjob. Oh and I licked a girl's pussy for the first time. It feels a bit funny. I thought it would taste really bad but it didn't, which was a pleasant surprise.

I actually really like Kristen. She's very spontaneous, friendly and dare I say "innocent". You could tell she's a nice person and even though life probably didn't turn out the way she hoped for her, I really admire her positive outlook. Good work on getting that hospital job and all the best you crazy bitch!

[Brothelcreeper]

Not sure if this is a real AR but it made me laugh anyway.

Try some Viagra......oh, you are only 19......bit young

And when you say her life didn't turn out the way she wished, she will make more money than you this year :shout:

[woodcock]

How does a 19 year old cant get it up? Back when i was 19 years old, i can go 2 rounds back to back. Sometimes 3

[OmniMime]

Strange indeed, to say the least. I remember I went about 3 to 4 times back-to-back, at that age (followed by a few more fucks througout the day and evening).

[RNT4LIFE]

Do you jack off alot? If so, stop it man. But best to see your GP and get some help
BTW, agree on Kristen, she's one hot bitch. Love her attitude!

[the big Z]

The kid faps too much probably. Needs to use lube and and take it easy by going slower.

[yug]

Great review 19YearOldFcker! (Everybody till now missed to say it)
Honest and down-to-earth review coming from a 19 year old.

I don't know why everyone started giving him advice though; I don't think he was looking for any.
He is 19; he is not worried; he will learn the ropes.
Actually I can relate to him; not everyone start out the same way.
When I did my first DATY, I felt the same way too: "Thought it would taste a little bad but it doesn't".

The sex will certainly get better. I remember myself at 19 year old when I was so used to jerking off (and way too comfortable with my hand) that I used to get nervous having sex. It's also all in the mind I guess.
But how about that Kristen huh?...a real smoking hottie!

[Marrickvill_5]

Lololol Good one 19yod, thanks so much ❤️
I’ve never fucked 19yod tbh so i’m like CURIOUS ❤️��
You know woman’s age 30 is like same as guy’s 19 when it comes to horniness, we’d be perfect match i feel
Forget about bluepill bullshit around here that’s for oldfart

[beast]

Lol, Jerry, you're funny, I wish I was 19 *sob sob*

[RNT4LIFE]

Great review 19YearOldFcker! (Everybody till now missed to say it)
Honest and down-to-earth review coming from a 19 year old.

I don't know why everyone started giving him advice though; I don't think he was looking for any.
He is 19; he is not worried; he will learn the ropes.
Actually I can relate to him; not everyone start out the same way.
When I did my first DATY, I felt the same way too: "Thought it would taste a little bad but it doesn't".

The sex will certainly get better. I remember myself at 19 year old when I was so used to jerking off (and way too comfortable with my hand) that I used to get nervous having sex. It's also all in the mind I guess.
But how about that Kristen huh?...a real smoking hottie!

19yo is crying for help man, read between the line.
Anyway, back to Kristen, so did you DD her after DATY? i cum pretty quick too man, got myself a cockring, doubled my time.

[Marrickvill_5]

Lol, Jerry, you're funny, I wish I was 19 *sob sob*

Dw beast i also love to fuck beast ��
Do you have chest hair or like nipple hair

[19YearOldFcker]

Lololol Good one 19yod, thanks so much ❤️
I’ve never fucked 19yod tbh so i’m like CURIOUS ❤️💖
You know woman’s age 30 is like same as guy’s 19 when it comes to horniness, we’d be perfect match i feel
Forget about bluepill bullshit around here that’s for oldfart
Hahaha are you the owner of Marrickville5?

You can ask Kristen if you're curious. I'm ridiculously crap at sex. Like maybe 1.5/10 crap.

Lol do you guys offer student discounts so we don't have to eat Shin Ramyun 3 meals a day for the rest of the month?

[Timtoms]

Your neighbor is also wanting to have a good fxxx with you too jerry...😉

[Marrickvill_5]

Hahaha are you the owner of Marrickville5?

You can ask Kristen if you're curious. I'm ridiculously crap at sex. Like maybe 1.5/10 crap.

Lol do you guys offer student discounts so we don't have to eat Shin Ramyun 3 meals a day for the rest of the month?

Send me your student card copy and application, i’d love to full support your sex life �� but
- N5M sex scholarship requirements
Age under 22
GPA minimum 6.5
Height minimum 180cm
Body fat under 15%
Please visit cute but psycho . net for more information


Your neighbor is also wanting to have a good fxxx with you too jerry...��

Kirstine working today~��

[beast]

Dw beast i also love to fuck beast ��
Do you have chest hair or like nipple hair

No, I don't have any hairs on the chest unfortunately, ( or fortunately depend how you see it).
In fact nothing about me is beastly, I was pretty pissed from drinking when I signed up. After 2 failed attempt of signing up due to usernames are already taken, as I was ruining out of ideas, ( and plus I wasn't thinking straight from those alcohol) one of my friend start singing beauty and the beast song, I was like... stuff it, I'm gonna call myself beast.

[Marrickvill_5]

No, I don't have any hairs on the chest unfortunately, ( or fortunately depend how you see it).
In fact nothing about me is beastly, I was pretty pissed from drinking when I signed up. After 2 failed attempt of signing up due to usernames are already taken, as I was ruining out of ideas, ( and plus I wasn't thinking straight from those alcohol) one of my friend start singing beauty and the beast song, I was like... stuff it, I'm gonna call myself beast.

Yeah chest hair is the worst !
I am gonna pluck all out of it if i see any.
Nice story about your username btw, If you look closely enough mine is like marrickvill_5 not marrickvill’e’_5
ㅋㅋㅋ

[RNT4LIFE]

Hey. Ask Kirsten to join the forum! Do a Q&A.

[Marrickvill_5]

Hey. Ask Kirsten to join the forum! Do a Q&A.

Nah don’t make my friend as same level as babycat

[zylon]

Double post.......

[zylon]

So I picked this crazy bitch from the line up today.

She is crazy and beautiful, which I love. Don't book her, she is all mine!

I may or may not have been coerced to write the above, there is a fine line between crazy and eccentric after all. She is probably a bit too witty to be the former...

[Marrickvill_5]

LOL Thanks zylon! It was nice to meet you :D
It's Kirstin xoxo

[19YearOldFcker]

Send me your student card copy and application, i’d love to full support your sex life  but
- N5M sex scholarship requirements
Age under 22
GPA minimum 6.5
Height minimum 180cm
Body fat under 15%
Please visit cute but psycho . net for more information

Imagine having that on my resume - this scholarship is gonna get me places. Sign me up, girl!

[zylon]

LOL Thanks zylon! It was nice to meet you :D
It's Kirstin xoxo

Not quite verbatim, but we can debate that next time :)

[beast]

Yeah chest hair is the worst !
I am gonna pluck all out of it if i see any.
Nice story about your username btw, If you look closely enough mine is like marrickvill_5 not marrickvill’e’_5
ㅋㅋㅋ

Wow, I won't realise if you didn't say

[harrycd]

This is a hilarious AR, nice work.

I want to see Kristin but heading to 42 tonight.

[Marrickvill_5]

This is a hilarious AR, nice work.

I want to see Kristin but heading to 42 tonight.

yes I call you betrayer since then
come today! Kirstin is ready for pringles!!!! xoxo

[hornedone]

She plucks hair off your balls?

[sublime]

Kirsten looks cray cray sexy

[xzy61187]

Can Kristen come to 42 Gladesville please?

[Marrickvill_5]

no sorry, she won't go there :( come and see her here :)

[19YearOldFcker]

All the pics and gifs are so tempting. I want to come back again :D Girls are a big distraction sigh :(

If anyone has any kids that need maths tutoring please let me know lol I need more money to fund my currently non-existent sex life.

And if you have a daughter, I know this might sound a bit creepy but I did extremely well in my HSC, can communicate very well and have worked with over 5 students in the past year. It will be very professional. I take pride in helping other students succeed :)

[RNT4LIFE]

Lol why don't you teach English at N5M in return for some loving.
More Kristen .gif pls!

[Marrickvill_5]

All the pics and gifs are so tempting. I want to come back again :D Girls are a big distraction sigh :(

If anyone has any kids that need maths tutoring please let me know lol I need more money to fund my currently non-existent sex life.

And if you have a daughter, I know this might sound a bit creepy but I did extremely well in my HSC, can communicate very well and have worked with over 5 students in the past year. It will be very professional. I take pride in helping other students succeed :)

wtf hahahah looking for a job in sex forum
nice troll I like you already

me no speak English
영어 가르쳐 주새오
jokes

Kirstin / Christine / Kristin whatever she's working with me until 7 pm
book hurry boyysssss

[19YearOldFcker]

Two days later and still no PMs. My elevator pitches need a bit more work lol