Creative excuses

[4FoW2]

Those of us with SO often need "creative excuses" to indulge in our habit. Unfortunately have a job that has a definite start and finish time and "staying late at work" is not credible. Also most punting is done on weekends.
Considering some places take about 20 min drive, 1 hr fun, 10 min shower and dress then 20 min drive home = approx 2 hrs. What creative excuses do you come up with or think may placate a SO?
Been using a lengthy gym session or visiting a mate but these are wearing thin. Need something that can be regular, takes about 2 hrs and is pretty believable for a middle aged man.
Any ideas appreciated.

[funboybrisbane]

MID LIFE CRISIS CAR = DRIVES and boys days out. [emoji6] You can thank me later.

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[reddoor]

Those of us with SO often need "creative excuses" to indulge in our habit. Unfortunately have a job that has a definite start and finish time and "staying late at work" is not credible. Also most punting is done on weekends.
Considering some places take about 20 min drive, 1 hr fun, 10 min shower and dress then 20 min drive home = approx 2 hrs. What creative excuses do you come up with or think may placate a SO?
Been using a lengthy gym session or visiting a mate but these are wearing thin. Need something that can be regular, takes about 2 hrs and is pretty believable for a middle aged man.
Any ideas appreciated.
Get a divorce, the wealth and freedom is wonderful.
Better to give her half of your super at 50 when its 6 figures than wait till your 65 and give her half when it's 7 figures and your too old to make it up.

[Ilikebeer]

Those of us with SO often need "creative excuses" to indulge in our habit. Unfortunately have a job that has a definite start and finish time and "staying late at work" is not credible. Also most punting is done on weekends.
Considering some places take about 20 min drive, 1 hr fun, 10 min shower and dress then 20 min drive home = approx 2 hrs. What creative excuses do you come up with or think may placate a SO?
Been using a lengthy gym session or visiting a mate but these are wearing thin. Need something that can be regular, takes about 2 hrs and is pretty believable for a middle aged man.
Any ideas appreciated.
Im seeking the same.
I have limited mates so I can't say I'm going over to see my mate for a couple of hours.

[Kowabunga]

Middle aged men can go cycling.
They can do that regularly.
They can stop at a shop on the way.

[APL]

Plenty of Poker In Pubs Clubs etc various size buyins $5 - $150 can explain money issues,& times games last vary to be plausible for a short drive or long See you on a table LOL Bro

[hurdur]

Go for fishing trips - that way you don't have to explain the fishy smell on your finger.

[Puntersclub]

Golf nine holes would more than cover the two hours it took you to play with two holes

[ococpunt]

Go for fishing trips - that way you don't have to explain the fishy smell on your finger.

that's a good one :cool2:

[yobbo87]

Go to gym 4 times a week, but one of those is actually a massage session for recovery.

[4FoW2]

Go to gym 4 times a week, but one of those is actually a massage session for recovery.
Thats what I have been doing - golf is good suggestions - 9 holes (or 3) is about 2 hrs.
I thought I could develop a lower back condition that needs therapy somewhere in the city. Get a sympathetic doc to diagnose me, even write me a script and attend once a week for "treatment".
Seems lately esp with COVID I'm always pulling something.
Keep the suggestions coming.Appreciate suggestions.
4FoW2

[nosha]

COVID testing takes about 2 hours... you may only be able to use that a couple of times haha

[blake_ly]

COVID testing takes about 2 hours... you may only be able to use that a couple of times haha

I lol'd

meanwhile, definitely taking notes, these are pretty good.

meanwhile for 4FoW2, saying you need to a see a specialist in city or even a personal trainer in the city is legit too, PTs often prefer payment in cash too (explaining why it doesn't show up on your card). the current situation does limit alot of excuses now, because seminars, gatherings are severely limited.

[jimmyp]

COVID testing takes about 2 hours... you may only be able to use that a couple of times hahaAnd then "test positive" and have 14 days to yourself in "isolation"


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[HST]

How about buying a cheap second hand surfboard and say you're going down the coast to learn to surf. For added authenticity you could sprinkle some sand on your car's floor mats. Lucky I'm single and don't need to come up with excuses.

[popeye96]

How about buying a cheap second hand surfboard and say you're going down the coast to learn to surf. For added authenticity you could sprinkle some sand on your car's floor mats. Lucky I'm single and don't need to come up with excuses.

Wouldn't suggest that. She may decide that she wants to be dropped off at Harbour Town to do some shopping for a couple of hours while you surf.

[HST]

Wouldn't suggest that. She may decide that she wants to be dropped off at Harbour Town to do some shopping for a couple of hours while you surf.
It did occur to me that she might be keen to go to the beach too. There are plenty of massage shops near Harbourtown though haha. 25 Brisbane Road is a good one. And there's heaps in Southport.

[thewidebluesea]

for fellow punters a little on the fat side (I'm not naming names lol) you could tell the missus you have hired a personal trainer … bound to win the support of your missus if she thinks you might shed some kilos … just don't tell the missus that your "trainer" is a hot young masseuse :)

[popeye96]

The gym is probably a better one, as then you would have an excuse for coming home clean and showered. You'd just need to make sure you "joined" a gym that had those facilities. Maybe one with a heated pool.

[Batting100]

The gym is probably a better one, as then you would have an excuse for coming home clean and showered. You'd just need to make sure you "joined" a gym that had those facilities. Maybe one with a heated pool.

What happens in 6 months time when he’s still coming home fat or with zero muscle gains???

[Kowabunga]

The gym is probably a better one, as then you would have an excuse for coming home clean and showered. You'd just need to make sure you "joined" a gym that had those facilities. Maybe one with a heated pool.
That's where cycling works well. You have a shower when you get home.

[kamas]

Take up bushwalking. 30 mins to drive to suitable bushland area + 1 hour walk + 30 mins to drive home, where you need to take a shower to get the dust off. No expense either (apart from the massage).

[4FoW2]

What happens in 6 months time when he’s still coming home fat or with zero muscle gains???
So you go every second time ...maybe 4 times a week with 2 punting expeditions per week.

C'bunga - how does the cycling one work? Do you ride from home? Surely you don't suggest riding to the MS in my lycra ,,,even those I have got a great ass & legs lol.

Keep it coming guys - top of my list is gym as above, golf and the medical appointment in town.
Much appreciated your suggestions .

[popeye96]

Do you play any sports like tennis or squash? If you played tennis you could easily have a weekly court hire to play with your mates. Gives you the excuse of being away for an hour plus shower excuse, and the same time each week. Just make sure whatever the excuse it's something she has absolutely no interest in.

[Kowabunga]

C'bunga - how does the cycling one work? Do you ride from home? Surely you don't suggest riding to the MS in my lycra ,,,even those I have got a great ass & legs lol.


Hi. Yes. I turn up in lycra. Hasn't scared anyone off yet.
I think they kinda like it as it makes you look healthy ... and fIt.
I ride from home sometimes. Other times on way back home from work ... so no issue with timing in that case.
Sometimes I don't wear lycra either. You don't have to wear lycra to cycle. Plain clothes are fine.

[Biglad]

Get a job that involves shift-work. If your SO works regular hours you will have huge windows of opportunity.

[gpeck80]

Tell them the truth. Tell her you're going to fuk a hot asian bird youre seeing on the side. She'll giggle and say yeah right.

[thewidebluesea]

I swear I've put on weight during covid - saw one of my favorite MLs recently who I hadn't seen since pre-covid many many months ago. After our session, we are lying down together on the massage table - watch out with that manoeuvre gents as more than a few punters have tumbled off - and she starts patting and rubbing my tummy saying I'm looking like the Buddha! I gave that cheeky miss a good spanking don't you worry (which she loves!) but I had to accept she was speaking the truth.

Got a huge shock when I weighed myself - I've gained 8kgs during Covid … damn! how the fuck did that happen?

[APL]

Proves you haven't been Detoxing :smile::smile:

[CakeandCoffee]

I've bought a golf clubs and bag, and a tiger woods cap. I do enjoy the occasional hit at the driving range but Ive probabaly been to a golf course once in my life? Gets me a pass to go out for a few hours every weekend

[adm1n]

I usually say need to go to the library for study group. Since I’m taking courses which is required by my employer, hence this trick always works.

[simple.simon]

If you out Moningside way.. Offer to take the washing to the local laundromat and pop in next door for a massage while you're waiting.

[angrybirdy]

go jogging and uber to massage and back to some where near your place then jog back

[yobbo87]

go jogging and uber to massage and back to some where near your place then jog back

Uber history cannot be deleted unless you delete your account. Also be aware of Google Maps Timeline showing everywhere you've been.

[dwx]

Uber history cannot be deleted unless you delete your account. Also be aware of Google Maps Timeline showing everywhere you've been.

Also if you both have iPhone on shared iTunes account, as she can check on your location in one touch :burn:

Get yourself a burner phone with its own wechat

[angrybirdy]

Thanks for the advices guys

[AngelFace]

Those of us with SO often need "creative excuses" to indulge in our habit. Unfortunately have a job that has a definite start and finish time and "staying late at work" is not credible. Also most punting is done on weekends.
Considering some places take about 20 min drive, 1 hr fun, 10 min shower and dress then 20 min drive home = approx 2 hrs. What creative excuses do you come up with or think may placate a SO?
Been using a lengthy gym session or visiting a mate but these are wearing thin. Need something that can be regular, takes about 2 hrs and is pretty believable for a middle aged man.
Any ideas appreciated.

We are all in this together. According to my psych whom I see in order to try to understand why i like fucking pretty asian massage girls we just have to ask for the time away from our family/Mrs.

I tried this out and even said I would be away on an overnight trip within Qld. Permission was give all around and I went away on an overnight trip, no questions. I eve returned with a phone full of beachside tourist snaps. I may have forgotten to mention I was taking a sugarbabe along with me.

Anyway, according to the pysch, a plausible excuse is that you choose to go out. drive to My Cootha, walk around Mt Gravatt, buy something from bunnings that needed four different stores etc etc No need to feel guilty being normal!

[muni7ad]

We are all in this together. According to my psych whom I see in order to try to understand why i like fucking pretty asian massage girls we just have to ask for the time away from our family/Mrs.

I tried this out and even said I would be away on an overnight trip within Qld. Permission was give all around and I went away on an overnight trip, no questions. I eve returned with a phone full of beachside tourist snaps. I may have forgotten to mention I was taking a sugarbabe along with me.

Anyway, according to the pysch, a plausible excuse is that you choose to go out. drive to My Cootha, walk around Mt Gravatt, buy something from bunnings that needed four different stores etc etc No need to feel guilty being normal!

Your psych is helping and encouraging your punting? Is this as a part of the process to help you understand why or am I being had and you aren't for real. Tho there is something in the no need to feel guilty for being normal.

[fungongguy]

I often say I am going to the physio ... !

[AngelFace]

Your psych is helping and encouraging your punting? Is this as a part of the process to help you understand why or am I being had and you aren't for real. Tho there is something in the no need to feel guilty for being normal.

not encouraging the punting but explaining how it ties up mind space, whereas I could do less guilty and more beneficial activity.

While I was reading in the last few days, came across this research that the men on this forum make up about 1% off the population actively seeing prostitutes.

The researchers also found that the average john doesn't look all that different from the average man who has never paid for sex — clients are more likely to have served in the military, only slightly less likely to be married and white, and only slightly more likely to have a full-time job and be more sexually liberal. [The 10 Most Surprising Sex Statistics]

More distinct characteristics, however, emerge among avid customers of prostitutes who self-identify as "hobbyists" and post on message boards that review call girls. A survey of men in this online community revealed that a substantial portion of them are married, white, earn over $120,000 per year, have graduate degrees and think about sex more (and feel less guilty about it), compared with other groups of men, including those who have been arrested for hiring prostitutes on the street.

Men of this more privileged class that cruise the Internet instead of the sidewalks for sex also have different views about prostitution. Compared with men who have been arrested for soliciting a prostitute, the "hobbyists" are more likely to say that prostitution should be legal, that they would marry a prostitute and that prostitutes enjoy their work, the researchers found.

If you are interested: https://www.livescience.com/28169-men-who-use-prostitutes.html

[reddoor]

Well here we go again, the ubiquitous white male, the cause of all things bad. Just imagine if they had mentioned another race in that research would have BLM burning their uni's down.

[Batting100]

Well here we go again, the ubiquitous white male, the cause of all things bad. Just imagine if they had mentioned another race in that research would have BLM burning their uni's down.

Not if it was backed up with facts/stats

No one is gonna argue with peer reviewed work

[AngelFace]

Not if it was backed up with facts/stats

No one is gonna argue with peer reviewed work

well I try to only post reliable research.

[muni7ad]

not encouraging the punting but explaining how it ties up mind space, whereas I could do less guilty and more beneficial activity.

While I was reading in the last few days, came across this research that the men on this forum make up about 1% off the population actively seeing prostitutes.

The researchers also found that the average john doesn't look all that different from the average man who has never paid for sex — clients are more likely to have served in the military, only slightly less likely to be married and white, and only slightly more likely to have a full-time job and be more sexually liberal. [The 10 Most Surprising Sex Statistics]

More distinct characteristics, however, emerge among avid customers of prostitutes who self-identify as "hobbyists" and post on message boards that review call girls. A survey of men in this online community revealed that a substantial portion of them are married, white, earn over $120,000 per year, have graduate degrees and think about sex more (and feel less guilty about it), compared with other groups of men, including those who have been arrested for hiring prostitutes on the street.

Men of this more privileged class that cruise the Internet instead of the sidewalks for sex also have different views about prostitution. Compared with men who have been arrested for soliciting a prostitute, the "hobbyists" are more likely to say that prostitution should be legal, that they would marry a prostitute and that prostitutes enjoy their work, the researchers found.

If you are interested: https://www.livescience.com/28169-men-who-use-prostitutes.html

Encouraging mite not have been the right word. But not just telling u to stop and I guess if u are able to go spend a day like you did then it doesn't tie up as much mind space and lets u work through it.

That was an interesting read thanks!

[popeye96]

Not if it was backed up with facts/stats

No one is gonna argue with peer reviewed work

Never heard of the anti-vaxxers then?

[warwick1]

Never heard of the anti-vaxxers then?

They believe in a flat earth as well..........

[Batting100]

Never heard of the anti-vaxxers then?

haha ok no one rational will...

[AngelFace]

meanwhile here we are on Aus99forum and instead of peer review we have the disinterested third party reviews.

I hope that the OP has been inspired by our collection of creative excuses.

[reddoor]

skanky reddoor. The priviliged white male view. bro. Is that why you lost your shit when you were rejected by a mere asian girl. bro. you're a tosser bro. manup. bro
What does "skanky" mean?