How open are you about your punting life with others in your life?

Here is a quote from KickArse from the 288 Wattle street thread, made on the 7th Dec 2012:

"Fark !!! I went to this place on the weekend, only to spot 2 of my mates standing outside a chinese restaurant nearby. Luckily, I quickly made up a story about having yum-cha at the fish markets and was now heading to Broadway to catch up with friends to see a movie. I had to walk a huge detour to avoid them and piss off. Scared the shit out of me. Luckily they called out to me before I had reached the shop otherwise they would have seen me go inside and ... fuck! I'd be buying beers for a loooooong time. "

We are free and open with each other on this forum about all our wonderfully varied sexual adventures. I have learnt so much and done so much fabulous new stuff since I've joined the forum less than three months ago.

But it seems more like a lifetime ago now. Why is this? Because I now have a new life added to my former one, with an amazingly thick new chapter added to my existing life book.

Outside the forum, however, we are obviously very selective about who knows about all this. With the exception of wives and girlfriends (we may have) knowing - and obviously aunties, and certainly our own mothers - I think this is a shame!

I'm sorry therefore that KickArse felt he couldn't go over and grab his friends and go up to the massage shop together the way he would have if it had been one of us across the street. I'm also sorry that I couldn't do that (just yet) myself.

Sex is to be CELEBRATED, this forum has taught me that so well. Any other viewpoint to that, I think, is truly warped.

So fuck cares how you have sex or how you get it sex, that doesn't matter because, whatever, however, sex is just FABULOUS. It is a glory, better than even the soaring glory of St Peters in Rome that the great Michelangelo himself designed.

Sex is the NEW YEARS EVE FIREWORKS that everyone, even the most conservative of people, stand around cheering. To feel any sense of shame about sex is therefore the greatest of insults to it, and an insult to ourselves as well.

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die.

I have several lifetime friends, one of whom I have started to reveal aspects of this, preparing the ground for more revelations from me. And this growing openness of mine, which I feel is a progression to even more openness, is due to the endorsement I've got from this online community. (One I didn't even know existed until three months ago.)

So my question is, how open are you about all this (fundamental to our being) activity with other people in your life? - with the exception of the obvious people, mothers etc). Do you feel it would be a good thing to have the same openness with most of the people in your real life that you enjoy in your cyber-life with me, and everyone else on this forum? If not, why not? Is sex so suddenly NOT to be celebrated?

I ask, because I might be looking for reasons from you to remain largely incognito. On the other hand, I very much don't like censoring myself to others in my life.

some of my friends know that i punt, but they are the ones that are really trustworthy and they won't tell any of my family members, well if they do, they have punted before as well(introduced by me lol) so i've got their back as well.

female friends are the ones that i can't be open at all to talk about punting, they will think your disgusting..and do what their best at; gossip to other friends and ye it may spread to relatives, then your fucked.

one time i was talkin to my female friend, she was like "i wonder what a brothel looks like, ive seen it in tv shows but i wonder whats it really like.
i was like my friend's tried to take me there once but i pussied out when we got to the door, she said "omg you should go inside and check it out", im like if i go inside my friend's will make me pay for sex, than she was like "omg well don't listen to them, thats disgusting".

We aren't paying for sex. We are paying to CELEBRATE sex. And that is a fundamental difference.

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Originally Posted by Sextus

We aren't paying for sex. We are paying to CELEBRATE sex. And that is a fundamental difference.

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i agree with you bro, but my point is, most females don't see it this way, they think sex should be only with the person you love the most. which is why i can't be open about punting to females.

I particularly want to talk to a dear friend, my girlfriend from 15 years ago, about all this for sure. We crashed and burned back then largely because of my abysmal sexual performance with her. She still has that memory of me no doubt, and I want to put her to rights about the new, very improved version I represent now due to my fabulous brothel experiences since I came onto the forum.

It is the females out there that we should start with the education process eh?

See how far you get with that excuse to your girlfriend or wife if they find out!

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Originally Posted by Sextus

We aren't paying for sex. We are paying to CELEBRATE sex. And that is a fundamental difference.

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Originally Posted by bill_100

See how far you get with that excuse to your girlfriend or wife if they find out!

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Cracking me up Bill_100! :shout:

My theoretical, Socratean arguments are 100% valid - until they run into the small obstacle of the real world maybe?

I think most girls would look down on a guy who regularly visits prostitutes.
It's not something I would be telling a girl on a first date, that's for sure ;)
I think society in general looks down on punters. The common negative attitudes towards us are:
"We are risking getting an STD (and then passing it on to partners) "
"We are losers because we have to pay for sex"
"We are exploiting women"
All these attitudes can easliy be refuted by argument and facts, but I won't go into a long debate as I am preaching to the converted on this forum.
but just briefly ...
STDs? The risk of STDs is no more or less than if you pick up a girl in a pub and have sex, and it is certainly much lower than in the gay community for example.
Losers? Sure, some punters are losers. but for most of us its more about the variety, convenience, lack of attachment, availabilty, the thrill, the excitement, the unknown - its punting after all!
Exploitation? Sure, in some cases it is, such as where sex slavery is involved, and as ethical punters we would definitely avoid these places, but in 90% of cases there is no exploitation. The girls (especially those who come here from Asia) know what they are doing, and are making some seriously good money (sometimes more than a doctor or lawyer). They are very astute businesswomen. Sammi for example should get the Small Businesswoman of the Year Award! The way she used this forum to market herself was brilliant!
But like I said, I wouldn't be telling a first date or work colleagues and running these arguments because peoples prejudices are deeply entrenched and they are not open to reason.
So my advice is don't tell anyone. And besides, we have this awesome forum where we can openly share our thoughts, experiences, questions and doubts with fellow punters.
Happy punting

Well the problem is once you tell some one there is no going back they know and if they dont respond how you think then you may well be sunk.

A friend of mine and his wife saw me going to a shop last month fortunately for me I think they only saw me walking down the street and not actually going into the shop.

They said they were driving past and saw me walking down the street I told them I was doing a job for the place down the road I hope they brought that. Havent heard anymore but it is quite off putting to be confronted.

I keep my punting to myself my wife knows but we never discuss it most of all she doesnt want her friends or family to find out.

I guess thats what I like about these forums and talking to working ladies and the Mamasans its the only time you can completely relax and talk about anything including punting.

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Originally Posted by Littlewonder

Well the problem is once you tell some one there is no going back they know and if they dont respond how you think then you may well be sunk.

A friend of mine and his wife saw me going to a shop last month fortunately for me I think they only saw me walking down the street and not actually going into the shop.

They said they were driving past and saw me walking down the street I told them I was doing a job for the place down the road I hope they brought that. Havent heard anymore but it is quite off putting to be confronted.

I keep my punting to myself my wife knows but we never discuss it most of all she doesnt want her friends or family to find out.

I guess thats what I like about these forums and talking to working ladies and the Mamasans its the only time you can completely relax and talk about anything including punting.

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I need your advice, how did you manage to get your wife to allow you to punt ???

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Originally Posted by mikemekong

I need your advice, how did you manage to get your wife to allow you to punt ???

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I told her I wasnt happy wanted more sex I wont give you the details of the discussion but she said she didnt want more to go and get it somewhere else. Do what _____ does which was one of her girl friends exhusband who got caught because because he put it on Amex and his accountant had a big mouth and told his girlfriend who was friends with his wife and my wife but thats another story.

Mind you at the time I only ever wanted to have sex with my wife it took me a long time before I saw a working lady but I guess I got lucky now mind you I still do it discretely and dont discuss or make her feel bad about it in any way.

best idea is to never let anyone get any sort of leverage on you.

I joke about it with friends but its only general. no one can prove I do.

I, too, like Littlewonder am open to my wife about visiting shops. However I do so on the basis of "business" reporting that I don't ever take the shop on their services and "waiting in the lounge for my clients to come out". It started out that way but a sumptuous temptress got the better of me.
However my Japanese mate tells me it is a very common practice in Japan for husbands to have consent to get a bonk from a WL so the wives didn't have to constantly put out.
At least this way, the marriage stays in tact and everyone is happy.
Which for the male is, very very happy.

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Originally Posted by Galactus

I work in a conservative industry - if people knew, my career would be ruined.

Ive got a few old mates that know, guys I used to punt with back in the day - they're all rock solid, they would never tell a soul

Ive met up with several bros from this forum as well and would consider myself mates with a few of them, catch uo every week or 2 for a beer or a coffee, swap war stories etc

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hahhahahaa so true sometimes!

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Originally Posted by rooter

I think most girls would look down on a guy who regularly visits prostitutes.
It's not something I would be telling a girl on a first date, that's for sure ;)
I think society in general looks down on punters. The common negative attitudes towards us are:
"We are risking getting an STD (and then passing it on to partners) "
"We are losers because we have to pay for sex"
"We are exploiting women"

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Completely agree.

Sextus, I'm not sure if you're joking or not, but I'd seriously like to see you post a photo of yourself on the front page of Sydney Morning Herald with the headline "I go to brothels not to have sex, but to celebrate sex". If people read that and think "oh, then that's all ok then", then I'll give you all my assets.

Truth is women and society judge us, exactly like rooter said. You want an example? Look at Craig Thompson. The hype isn't that he used a work credit card for non-work purposes. No one would give a damn if he had used it to buy 1000 bags of jelly beans. The real issue is he WENT TO A BROTHEL! How dare he? What kind of a man goes to a brothel? Certainly not one in a suit, not a public figure, not a guy like that.

Reality is a lot of men go to brothels, if that weren't the case there couldn't POSSIBLY be so many brothels around. Someone must be supporting them. But society doesn't like reality. We don't like to hear about recessions, we don't want to face that men are cheaper to hire than women (we don't take paid time off for maternity leave) and especially in Australia we don't like to face the fact that racism exists (look at all those Indian students bashed in the past, and police say there is no proof it was racially motivated...wtf).

Maybe in 1000 years time, punters will fight like women have done in the last century for equal footing and won, but for now, we remain in the dark.

As for the thread question, only two of my friends know, and they were the ones who got me into it.

"Sextus, I'm not sure if you're joking or not, but I'd seriously like to see you post a photo of yourself on the front page of Sydney Morning Herald with the headline "I go to brothels not to have sex, but to celebrate sex". If people read that and think "oh, then that's all ok then", then I'll give you all my assets."

Maybe I should post all my After Reviews on the SMH's pages instead of here, and they'd see that I philosophise as much as I fuck. That might do some good!

But I'm not responsible for those people's small minds.

I do, however, feel incredibly lucky not to possess one myself.

Giovanni, Don Juan, Lord Byron, the Pre-Raphaelites, the Marquis de Sade, they were all philosophers as much as they were libertines. Sex to all them was a celebration much more than it was merely an act. I have arrived at this conclusion myself independantly of them, because as Mulder from the X-files said "The truth is out there" and we can all discover it for ourselves, we don't need to be told it.

The thinking of those sexual philosophers was novel and untied to the masses and it was very influential - this forum itself is one of the heirs of it. All of we on the forum are their heirs too. So I am rightly contemptous of small minds, and they affect my own behaviour not in the least.

But as Rooter said aptly, this forum isn't the right place to argue our case, because we are merely preaching to the converted. I've thought of collecting my arguments and raising them in an open forum somewhere and really going toe to toe with the conservatives about it. I'd love the likes of Anne Summers or Germane Greer to get involved. They'd intellectualise the shit out of me, but I'd still know that I was right at the beginning and I'd know I was right at the end of it too.

"What kind of a man goes to a brothel?"

Answer: A philosopher.

"Society doesn't like reality."

Yes, mate. And another name for reality is "the truth" And isn't that what all we philosopher's seek out?

"Maybe in 1000 years time, punters will fight like women have done in the last century for equal footing and won, but for now, we remain in the dark."

Well, I am trying to shine a light in it Project Manager, by ecouraging much more openness about this. Look, for example, at where a thousand years of sexual oppression and fixation by the Catholic church has led it too.

"As for the thread question, only two of my friends know, and they were the ones who got me into it."

I have life long friends I want to relate my drooling stories to. But only to encourage more celebration of sex and the exploration of ourselves.

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Originally Posted by Sextus

"Sextus, I'm not sure if you're joking or not, but I'd seriously like to see you post a photo of yourself on the front page of Sydney Morning Herald with the headline "I go to brothels not to have sex, but to celebrate sex". If people read that and think "oh, then that's all ok then", then I'll give you all my assets."

Maybe I should post all my After Reviews on the SMH's pages instead of here, and they'd see that I philosophise as much as I fuck. That might do some good!


"What kind of a man goes to a brothel?"

Answer: A philosopher.

"Society doesn't like reality."

Yes, mate. And another name for reality is "the truth" And isn't that what all we philosopher's seek out?

"Maybe in 1000 years time, punters will fight like women have done in the last century for equal footing and won, but for now, we remain in the dark."

Well, I am trying to shine a light in it Project Manager, by ecouraging much more openness about this. Look, for example, at where a thousand years of sexual oppression and fixation by the Catholic church has led it too.

"As for the thread question, only two of my friends know, and they were the ones who got me into it."
I have life long friends I want to relate my drooling stories to. But only to encourage more celebration of sex and the exploration of ourselves.

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I outed myself some time ago, during a not too messy divorce, it just seemed to be logical and less painful for all in the long term if I said the truth.... mostly. The truth originally centered around sexual variety without emotional attachment. The issue occurred (for me in our marriage) when I changed from WL's to a regular girl. I discovered there is a finite amount of emotional capital in my bank, and the mistress has the centurion card.

In an effort to explain and avoid all the usual lies and uncovering of lies etc etc... I basically admitted I enjoyed binges at some of Australia's finest establishments... long story short: the below encapsulates almost non fictionally my findings, the excerpt is from a totally unrelated post review discussion I had with the late great Tiger, ohh Tiger u are missed, actually somehow not as much as I first thought. Anyway Sextus here is my story,........

I really wish I had used the words, "Well ex-darling, and judgmental therapist/ counselor, in short I have embarked on a life journey which is all about the celebration of sex, for that is my calling..... :


Originally Posted by TheTiger
igloo,

Nice report.

So, the girls and shop owner know who you are? Wow man, you're brave. I keep my identity secret. I change the background story, the day, the time, etc. so that the girl and shop owner can't work out who I am. In fact, I don't even tell the shop I'm on Syd99.

Bro Tiger, "There is no such thing as bravery, only degrees of fear"
Thanks for noticing and pointing that out BUT some history for you:
at the time I paid the ex, the lawyers and the tax-man, I decided to be honest about my activities (heavily diluted version anyway).
Looking back I realise in return for my open admission I got:
1) everybody's disapproving looks and comments, (coz I was the only whore-fucker anyone knew, and of course none of our friends had ever done that kind of thing),

2) also got to nearly experience bankruptcy and

3) the other thing was I could walk out of any doorway and no matter who saw me they couldnt really hurt me with that info:-) so not so brave.. but thanks.... I think. Or did u mean something else? Sometimes I miss things...

You on the other hand, Mr Tiger Powers, inter-suburban man of mystery, can change anything you want about your name, background story, clothes, hairstyle etc. In fact one day you could be Dennis Rodman and the next Danny De Vito... But how often do you think those girls get the bejesus fucked out of them Tiger style. What about that walking bag of porridge, dont u think she remembers the the horny buck who tried to kiss her? Or then Nurse Eli, and the Firefly must be able to piece your segments together as well. Surely they do their own after reports to each other? Just from my holey memory, she knows u like 2 shots, massage, knight kneeling, mouthfuck, earfuck, all after a bad experience earlier.... must happen all the time Bro:-) Having said that, your method is probably the much smarter way to go

This is a very interesting thread. I remember posting that. It wasn't that friends happened to be there in Wattle Street, it was the particular friends ... the ones I went to school with and know my family. Believe me, I punt with friends, but not those friends.

(I hope you all don't mind me bumping an old thread)

After a reference from Sextus to this thread, I read through it and came out with a smile, so I thought I should contribute in return.

I hate talking about myself as I always seem to feel a little conceited once I'm done, so it's with some discomfort that I answer the question.

I am someone who has grown to appreciate being alone. I feel that the more people know about me, the greater the potential for them to misunderstand me. I feel that putting on a certain veneer to encourage people to make generalisations about me is a less worse situation. I have been told that I don't look like a smoker (I smoke), which helps validate the effort I put into presenting a particular demeanour and helps to convince me that I could do anything with my time and avoid disapproval, so long as it's something people don't know about and it's something people don't imagine me doing. In short, I am less than open about many aspects of myself.

In saying this though, I call few people friends (naturally), and the ones I do consider friends are the people with which I've developed a great mutual understanding, and I would have no problem admitting to them that I make a habit of visiting brothels.

The crux of my point is that I am perfectly happy to to be open about my punting to those who I feel really understand me (I haven't the opportunity yet though). Punting, to me, just makes rational sense in a situation like mine, and if someone really knows who I am, they would see that too. This is the type of person I would open up to, and no one else. As with many other aspects of my life, I will continue to largely "censor" my punting life, both to avoid disapproval of it specifically, but also as part of my ongoing attempts to manage others' impression of me. Life seems a little easier when people don't look upon you unfavourably.

It's clear that you would relish, and are primed for, a full blown public war of ideas, Sextus (I'm imagining you in a beret adorned with a red star) and I'm as frustrated as you. I won't be going around waving a revolutionary flag, however, as I know all too well how quickly those who stand out are cut down.

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