Yes absolutely if the atm stops dishing out 100 dollar bills the feelings will soon stop lol :) Maybe you should join eharmony and look for a real girlfriend that you don't have to pay, a Japanese one. There must be plenty around Sydney.
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Yes absolutely if the atm stops dishing out 100 dollar bills the feelings will soon stop lol :) Maybe you should join eharmony and look for a real girlfriend that you don't have to pay, a Japanese one. There must be plenty around Sydney.
Having great sex with a hot young thing repeatedly (paid or not) will create feelings. First anticipation, then missing her etc.
Had a very similar situation, had to stop as she was in my head and she is not someone it made sense to have a relationship with.
Lol, all these "I fell in love with XXX" threads ought to be sub-categorized as some sort of "recovery room" for punting/whoring/SBing, basically any type of paid sex. It feels like you guys are getting burnt out by too much of the good physical action, you're needing some sort of mental or psychological angle to it too.
I can understand how you would crave having a girl be your GF. The feeling of having someone new in your life is maddeningly exciting, arousing, makes you look forward to the next day in great earnest.
But on the other hand, I've been on this rodeo enough times to know that that fresh exciting feeling you're getting is short and fleeting. You will eventually have to confront the nature of both the girl and how you met her.
I'm not trying to tell you not to go for it. It'll probably be very enjoyable for you even if it doesn't last very long. You still get that kick out of it. You just have to be prepared for that day when you have to confront it all. Think you can handle it?
An "ah-ha" moment for me right there.Quote:
Originally Posted by HamishAM
Reminds me of my first trip to Japan years ago. Met this cute girl tending the reception at the hostel I was staying in Tokyo. We chat a lot because she had very good English. As I was about to head back to my room for the night she kept on waving at me the same way some J WLs would wave at you until you're out the door.
After I came back to Sydney I found her social media profile. I asked her permission to be in contact with her, she agreed. Every time I sent her messages she'd take ages to reply, claiming she's not good with texts. I confessed my feelings for her, she didn't reply back. After a while I told her I'm giving up wooing her and she immediately blocked me. I thought to myself, how strange. Normally if a girl didn't like me the same way she would've ignored the message and there won't be any further communications.
This reminds me of your bolded serious situation that the girl claimed not wanting to have any of. These girls don't normally say their mind out directly. Keeping you at arm's length indicates one thing in my several past experiences - they like you but not infatuated with you, yet. They want to see what you're built of. The four other guys she claims to be having sex with for free could be a ruse to judge how much you really want to be with her. In Japan, not many men are good at conveying their feelings for a girl and they get tired of being flaked easily, hence the dwindling birth rates and the government using the sex industry and lewd animes to hopefully bring out the desire for its population to increase birth rates.
In my culture, we're not afraid to woo a girl. Our girls are the same like the Japanese - they're taught by their mothers not to be too easy like Westerners. Myself I had no real father figure to teach me all this as my dad told me once, "Figure it out yourself!", only because his money did all the wooing for him, so I'm left in the dark until I started having the courage to talk to as many girls as I can.
That girl is sussing you out. But be careful with how much money she demands out of you each time. I had a cute J ML once who only does part 2, she made me chase her by demanding that I see her 4 times a week. $120 per session, that's pretty much $480 weekly. When I told her I had enough she wanted to beg me to stay - I could tell she sees potential in me but her greed was way overboard. She was already close to 50yo at the time but still look 30. I made my decision leaving her only because she has no intention of getting married, plus she would've already experienced menopause. I wouldn't mind if I was at similar age with her and also not wanting kids.
Goldfish man is right. You can control it. Make sure your big head logically, rationally and unemotionally decides where your little head goes
Banter, keeping guys at arm's length, encouraging them to see her even when there's no promise of a relationship - I've been there MANY times, I know what it means. It's like a trend with girls in their 20s these days.
Appreciate your story mate. It's interesting to hear your point regarding the other guys and seeing if's a test. Not sure if it is but it's hard to tell.Quote:
Originally Posted by begov94
Yeah it must be a generational thing? I must be getting old lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by begov94
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldfishMan
Yeah, I want it to last until I get it out of my system. I just want to minimise the feels abit.
Nah never bro. But I am probably an outlier.Quote:
Originally Posted by Abracadabra
I switch on, I give it 110%, I have a fantastic passionate intimate time with a girl, I am totally in the moment with her, she is my universe for that brief hour, and then I just switch off go home and totally forget the girl.
I guess I have the same mindset as the very best WLs in that sense.
But yeah, I can appreciate that most guys don't function like that. I am probably borderline psychopathic when it comes to sex :)
I am not saying that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's just the way I am.
Pay Fuck Leave. That's always been my motto. It works for me but I can appreciate its not for everyone.
Enjoy your punting bros, whichever way you do it!
But always remember it's just punting.
This is a great mindset but you sometimes meet that 1% where it just clicks well. I'm very similar with when I go to the shops to see a ML or WL. Just in that moment thats it, nothing more. With this recent Sugar baby experience though it was closer, more intimate, more time spent together (5-8 hour sessions). It had a different effect. We talked, we vibed, we laughed, we had sex, we watch videos etc. It was just differentQuote:
Originally Posted by rooter
Snap out of it. LOL!Quote:
Originally Posted by HamishAM
Attachment 107725
https://giphy.com/gifs/cher-moonstru...-ZpnIKAZctPpniQuote:
Originally Posted by HamishAM
https://giphy.com/gifs/TheSwoon-netf...ayszIoeBC8yiNbQuote:
Originally Posted by rooter
Hahaha! Nice reply bro.Quote:
Originally Posted by HamishAM
We are clearly very different people and that's cool. All I am saying is follow your heart and your dick and enjoy all the wonders that life brings, but don't get played for a sucker. Don't switch off your brain. Read all the feedback from the collective subconscious of the punting world and then do what you gotta do. I hope it all works out well for you bro. Have a great Xmas and New Year.
One word: BAILOUT, before you crash and burn.
I think your love to her is genuine but misplaced.Quote:
Originally Posted by HamishAM
You should get a bunch of rose and profess your true feelings to her.
My job is a specialist service. You could say I'm a tradesperson but prefer to be known as an artisan in a specialised field. Its all I've known since a boy and am fortunate in that I get immense satisfaction from my work and from my clients. But at the end of the day I need to be paid for my work.
You get where i'm coming from. Over the past 18 months of serious punting have been thanked by numerous WLs for giving as good as I got. Over 30 of them and only one of them refused money when seeing her in private once and I insisted she take the money and that was the last time I saw her.
Maybe you should ask her if she is keen to see you without you paying a cent and hence your reply to this dilemma
Sounds like you're already in too deep. At this point in time no amount of well meaning advice will work.
Just ride it until the heartbreak comes (and it definitely will) ... When it does, you will have a few sleepless nights and days trying hard not to mope around and being pissed off with yourself for not being able to function ... part and parcel of the party unfortunately
After a few days/weeks you'll think about contacting her because you've convinced yourself that youve got the feels contained and under control and will be able to see her again just for the sex.
This is the first real opportunity to stop. Come back and read all the responses here and other "falling for ml/wl" threads. Take a trip to Ginza C or E or a few sessions with any pretty wl/ml tbh.
Don't look back.
You lost me when you started with
"I recently ventured into the sugar baby realm"
This is code for "I have unprotected sex with a lady who has unprotected sex with many guys"
This sugar baby trend and OnlyFans trend of unwittingly putting women on pedestals has to stop. Woman are goddesses don't get me wrong, but men need to keep their heads screwed on instead of losing them like beta males do
Answer to your question depends on how emotionally mature you are. Women in this "realm" are there to be paid and to be f_cked, and part of the deal is you share other other guys juices and disease for the higher price
This won't end well if you overread the situation. She is not there to be your soulmate. In that line of work, she has no need to commit to a man. Her soul is in a vault, she doesn't need a relationship. Her main focus is fun and to be paid well. Move away from sugar babies if you too can't lock your heart in a vault. This is basic 101 punting bro. Wake up
Get an STI test as well
Appreciate the honesty and directness. You're right.Quote:
Originally Posted by frisson
Ima get that test.
Now I know why this thread was started. And I know now who started it other than the obvious username (some people are really good at digging up the past).Quote:
Psychologically our tendencies is to project our own ideals onto others subconsciously. What we like in others is what we "think" is the right kind of person. Most of the time we're looking for a partner who's as toxic and emotionally abandoning like our own mothers.
A friend of mine can't get enough of Japanese girls and won't date girls of other ethnicities. When I asked why, he mentioned that Japanese girls have "mysterious" personalities. Turns out it's the emotional abandonment type that he's drawn into. Some of my Japanese exes were like that, I was quick to discard them as soon as they show their sour side. Like some bros here have pointed, some J girls can disappear without saying goodbye because they're good at emotional abandonment. They don't initiate "breakups" just because it is their culture to be polite and not cause fights.
This J girl you mention, she's out with you mostly because she knows that you're harmless and won't take advantage of her. At the same time she feels lonely but doesn't want a relationship. Not many J girls are prepared to have relationships with non-Japanese men, the cultural differences are too wide and parents may not approve foreign partners. Also J girls are likely to settle with foreigners only if they are non-confrontational and good at keeping the harmony.
I had seen a Japanese WL outside of her work before, years ago. We went shopping together, had dinner and spent time at her home. We'd lie on the sofa together, hugging but no sex or kissing. She only allowed it during her work not on her day off. And she specifically told me we are not in a relationship - at least "not yet". All kinds of mixed messages came from her so I decided to stop seeing her one day, and told her that I'm only going to see her again if she agrees to make our relationship official. She tells me that she can't do both relationship and WL work at the same time so that's the end of us.
Funny thing you mentioned her giving you "more and more while paying less and less". If she works in a shop then it seems that she might be giving you diamond service at standard price or she's running her own private gig. Or this might be a fantasy fiction. Anyways, can't care less if this story is fiction or real because mine wasn't. And I wouldn't waste time chasing any girl's attention or pussy because how I met my current partner taught me a lot about relationships I missed out in the past few decades - if she likes you, she treats you very well, fucks you really good and says yes immediately after asking her to be your girlfriend - she's a keeper!
I've been dating too many time wasters and I should've known better in the past decades.
I have to admit, I had wrong views in the past. I had no father figure to teach me how to look for a wife - I was told to "figure it out myself". Every relationship I realised that I was easily duped, only because I was trying to avoid becoming like my own father. I didn't want to go through a life of multiple marriages and divorces myself like my father did. Unfortunately I went through my first divorce in early 2019 and luckily no kids involved.
The time I posted the quoted comment I was actually dating a WL, one who was previously quite popular. She accepted my proposal to be her gf almost immediately - I was so happy at that time. She even asked me if I wanted kids. I kept seeing her for more than a year. The dealbreaker was that she purposely forgotten about my birthday which was a traumatic event for me. She didn't even offer any apologies or try to calm me down. I walk out on her.
Weeks after that I saw an opportunity to see M on a regular basis which I couldn't before that because she tends to get booked out in the afternoons. M also announced that she might be quitting by year end. I didn't react to it at first only because I was conflicted between going back to the WL I broke off with or starting anew with M, someone I've been yearning for years. Honestly when M rejected me for the second time I had thoughts of going back to the ex and probably just accepting that I might have to endure the trauma of having my birthday forgotten - I haven't actually celebrated my birthday properly for more than a decade because of a family issue.
Being able to see M regularly and having her convince me to keep seeing her was something that made my connection to her very strong. Something that my 3 other WL exes just didn't have. With the one I saw before M, honestly she's been tormenting me after our sixth month together. I had the strong devotion to stay with her regardless of what was about to happen - I thought that if I had to endure an unhappy marriage and divorce for the second time, so be it. But I felt that something was protecting me - our breakup was purposely caused through that traumatic event. Remembering that traumatic event I didn't even tell M my birthday, hoping that she doesn't do the same to me if we were to continue seeing each other long enough.
So yeah, what I wrote in that old comment was real. The one that I went out with on a shopping date outside was the first ever WL I've dated. That was before I met M.
All I can say now is this - the forum hasn't changed much since then but I wrote that real life experiences just to have a go at the person who "doxxed" me once upon a time ago. I admit that I was still pissed off at her at the time. I wanted to focus on my ex at that time and be the person to make her happy but unfortunately her karma ran out. Right now I don't mind having to experience any karma of leaving my ex. Even if M decides to play me and not come back, I'll accept and move on. All I want is for M to be happy. No point in her making my wish come true if she's going to suffer with thoughts that I might leave her one day, but my dealbreaker is simple - either not celebrate my birthday at all or make the effort to celebrate it even if you can't buy a tiny gift. The ML I dated before my ex also did the same thing by pretending to forget about my birthday after we exchanged our birthdates (and I bought a present for her birthday) but I forgave her at the time. With M, if we were to meet again I don't mind her not celebrating my birthday as long as she doesn't ask for my birthdate. The reason is because it is the issue that causes a rift between myself and my dad before his passing.
Interesting to see people opinion on Japanese girl. I want to add from my experience dealing with Japanese girls. Most guys see Japanese girls as submissive and feminine, which i think is one of the main reason why lots of men like Japanese girls. However, behind those personalities deep down they just don't like frontal confrontation, hence the easiest way to avoid that is to lie or pretend. When things don't go as they wanted they don't tell you rather they play along with it, then they ghosted you.
So when dealing with Japanese girl(WL or non WL), its better to be not 100% invested. When things seems to go well, it might not be.
That pretty much sums it all for anyone imagining anything with ML/WL/Sugar whateversQuote:
Originally Posted by frisson
This thing about race, culture, country etc is a load of fucken horseshit and only comes into play if a serious LTR and/or marriage/kids/family is on the horizon. At the end of the day women are women and regardless of race they all bleed, they're all hormonal, they crave romance, they want to be feminine, feel beautiful, be desired, feel safe and secure, and most importantly to feel love and be loved.
But once she has settled down and gets impregnated all that unconditional love and affection is redirected towards her children, and this is when guys start feeling left out, fall out of love, and seek other options to fill the void.
The modern stereotype is that Japanese women switch off from sex after marriage. May be only an unfair stereotype but it's thereQuote:
Originally Posted by Double_Adapter
Her soul is in a vault, she doesn't need a relationship.
The OP wants more than a business transaction, it's the oldest mistake in punting
The OP wants a relationship but choose the wrong type of woman
I don't mean to be direct or abruot, but these are facts of life that need to be stated for those yet to learn them
Said this many times. When men pay a sugar baby way over market price (compared to the cost at a brothel) for sex, they generally expect unprotected sex as compensation. Unfortunately for you, that means you are riding the town bike, no matter how beautiful she is, and none of you are protected from a group STI
I'm always respectful to women, I'm just making a point, without sugar coating it