Yawn..., just in case anybody has'nt worked it out yet doritos is full of shit!Quote:
Originally Posted by doritos
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Yawn..., just in case anybody has'nt worked it out yet doritos is full of shit!Quote:
Originally Posted by doritos
I reckon the fake news is hillarious
Lol, yeah I was munching on a bag of Doritos while reading that.Quote:
Originally Posted by CunningLinguist
Never got ask out or ever dated a wl/ml
Life is good atm it just go better by the way:cool2:
Goldfish, how did your family find out? I'm in a very similar situation but my wife is not aware yet. did you ever regret your decision to be freed from marriage? Further, I'm still picking up girls on the side with decent success when wife is overseas. I'm definately not getting married for a while if I do get divorced, marriage is too fucking boring to me.
I don't know how Goldfish feels, but I separated from mine last June after 10 years (the last 4 were just cohabitation). Never felt better, even the doctor said all my test results were better than last year and my blood pressure was down. She on the other hand is doing it quite tough according to the kids (who I'm going to court in May to fight for equal custody), not my problem. I personally have no regrets, I'm having the best time I've had for a while.
A friend of mine gave me the best advise I've ever had...the power lies with the one who cares least and (apart from the kids) I don't give a shit, I even told her go to back home and book yourself into a mental hospital take all the time you need...years would be good I'll look after the kids.
Anyway, this July will be 12 months of separation and I can get divorced...I might even go to visit my sister in law who I've wanted to fuck for the last 10 years that she lived with us.
She didn't find out. I came clean and told her everything, including all my punting, then I said I wanted a divorce because I wanted to stop pretending to be a devoted husband.Quote:
Originally Posted by RoyalFlush
I have no regrets I did it. Of course it cost me financially, but money is just money, I can always make more. My way of life changed to what I imagined it would be, that's priceless.
If you really want to go through with it, make sure you understand all your legal rights. Things are very different here in Oz. Example, there's no such thing as alimony, but child support is important if you have kids, etc.
@dotcom @Goldfish - useful replies, thanks.
I had a think about my situation. The way I see, there are 3 possible outcomes, 100% controlled by me how I want it to pan out:
1) Dont tell the wife and keep living a double life
2) Save the marriage
3) Come clean. Either both will split up, or she accepts the infidelity and continue the marriage in some arrangement.
1 - short term win for the guy until the wife finds out one day. The breakup will be very unsightly and everyone will probably lose a lot of respect for me for cheating. I also feel this is a rather underhanded way of dealing with the issue.
2 - I could save the marriage by finding progress in the relationship. Like having more babies, building business, focus on a project that involves the wife, or get into some couple activity. In the short to medium term, both will win. But long term? When I have run out of things to advance the relationship, Ill be back to boredom. This strategy could only work for 5-15 years max. Thing is, I dont think I can hold out that long.
3 - Coming clean will cause the wife to hate you in the short - medium term. In a way, you are putting her down slowly because she leaves the relationship in anger which will cause her to move on /get over quicker than to just dump her or take her by surprise in point 1. The earlier I do it, probably the better it is for her too because she still has the looks to find someone new who can take care of her. It's the most respectable way to doing it. And long term, you win by not feeling miserable in this relationship and lying to yourself for another 40 - 50 years!
Im really fucked because Im feeling this way just 3 years into my marriage. At least for middle aged man, they can employ strategy 2 and just preservere on until the time comes, becoming the silent "hero" of the family.
I don't get it, how can you already sick of your marriage after 3 years?Quote:
Im really fucked because Im feeling this way just 3 years into my marriage. At least for middle aged man, they can employ strategy 2 and just preserve on until the time comes, becoming the silent "hero" of the family.
Pretty easy if your wife turns out to be somebody completely different to what you thought she was and find out only after the ceremony!Quote:
Originally Posted by traveller1
Lol... It isn't married at first sight is it ? [emoji1787]Quote:
Originally Posted by abovetherim
I wish this wasn’t real and it was just a tv show!Quote:
Originally Posted by studsg
You can become sick of your marriage less than 3 years. This is why many people these days are living together to see if they are compatible before getting married and it becomes all legal later.Quote:
Originally Posted by traveller1
Finding out she had made some adult movies when she was young or working as a prostitute/escort. :startle:Quote:
Originally Posted by abovetherim
Royal Flush
Take some time, do some homework and then make your decision. Go to human services website if you have kids and use the calculator to work out how much child support you may have to pay, while there is no "alimony" here there is "spouse maintenance" which they can apply for (usually after the financials are settled) and you'll have to pay her.
Ultimately...you have to be selfish and go with whatever decision MAKES YOU HAPPY.
Did anyone see a program on SBS about Germany's lucrative sex business? A few WLs working at the largest brothel called Paradise were interviewed. One young gorgeous looking blonde WL was asked how many guys she had slept with and she mentioned 16 with whom she had proper relationships. Then the reporter asked how many customers she had sex with and at first she didn't want to say but when pressured she indicated over 15,000! OMG! If she had slept with over 15,000 guys, would you date her?:surprise:
That's the right way to think because you're trying to figure out the repercussions of each option.Quote:
Originally Posted by RoyalFlush
For me, a major major reason I took option 3 was because my ex-wife is the same age as me. Option 2 was out of the question because I know myself, punting and infidelity runs through my blood. If I took option 1, there was a big risk that we would still end up divorcing after many years of deceit. If that happened, she would be left with no way of recovering, no way to find a better life. I did not want that to happen. So, I decided on option 3 when she was in her early 30s. She is now reasonably happily remarried and doing quite well.
I have no regrets at all about choosing option 3. You may think that choosing this option is to be selfish. It is actually the worst option for you because you will be in a bad shape financially, depending on your situation. You also may want to consider if your wife is already too old to move on if you left her, but only if you care about her wellbeing.
Whichever choice you take, never choose it because of your current girlfriend. GFs come and go, don't make life decisions based on them.
Dont worry. I am never emotionally invested in the other relationships. Usually it's the girls who asks for relationship from me. Thanks .com and goldfish :)Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldfishMan
Thanks Cuteguy, I will stop my worries and concern then live as free manQuote:
Originally Posted by cuteguy