Finding a wife partner in a shop

A lot of guys are just weak, or naïve, or simple, or immature (regardless of their age).
You get young guys, or inexperienced guys, or lonely guys, or old guys, or shy guys, or average guys, or guys with low self esteem or whatever and actually even smart confident guys can delude themselves, and they have a girl sucking their dick and telling them how wonderful they are and they think they have found heaven on earth, that god has sent them an angel.
And they think they can date the girl or even marry her and life will always be like this.
These guys need to wake up and remind themselves of the bloody obvious thing - YOU ARE PAYING THE GIRL TO DO THAT!!!!
This is not reality. Life does not work like that.
Enjoy the fantasy of the punt and then go back into the real world and get on with your life - get a girlfriend, get married, enjoy being single, whatever works for you.

Let's put this another way. You're out at a restaurant and a cute waitress is doing a stellar job of serving you and making sure your needs are catered to. This does NOT mean anything other than she's good at her job and knows that tips are a big part of her livelihood. You don't roam from cafe to cafe looking for the next Miss Right. Now occasionally you MAY find a regular who you genuinely feel you hit it off with, but 50 other guys get their coffee there too and maybe 10 or so of them flirt with her Just as you do. Of course she's not going to tell you that and she might like the attention (and generous tips), and MAYBE she does like a couple of the guys, but she is so used to the attention etc that she knows better than to shit on her own doorstep. Besides what do you have that the other 50 guys who hit on her a day don't? We all have self bias and so many will believe we are 'better' than we perhaps really are, and she is not going to flat out reject you because you are her income source. I have my favourite cafe and whwn I go the owner, who is very cute and sassy, and I have a flirty game which is fun, but I'm under no disillusion as to its nature. I am a customer who orders a latte and an occasional chocolate mousse cake and cracks jokes. That's it.
Anyway you get the idea. Exchange coffee for sex and you start to see the folly of the notion of finding a life partner in a shop. Yes it happens, but especially if you go in to cafes hoping to find a waitress to date you're going to come off creepy, desperate, and so on.

This post is brought to you by a fairly savage Xmas hangover..

One of WL friends has been in Australia for over 10 years, has a boyfriend (Aussie born Chinese) and they have been together for around 5 years. He doesn't mind her working because he sees her job as just a job. I guess it's possible but I don't know. Most of the girls would prefer to meet someone outside the shop and that's been the same for most WL's I know. Once they are finished in the industry, they want to leave that life behind and start fresh.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Niceguy11

One of WL friends has been in Australia for over 10 years, has a boyfriend (Aussie born Chinese) and they have been together for around 5 years. He doesn't mind her working because he sees her job as just a job. I guess it's possible but I don't know. Most of the girls would prefer to meet someone outside the shop and that's been the same for most WL's I know. Once they are finished in the industry, they want to leave that life behind and start fresh.

---

Exactly. One girl I knew said her dream was to earn enough extra money to have plastic surgery on her face to totally change how she looks so no guy will ever recognise her again.

Asiafever's post reminded me of this scene from Adaptation.
It's even better and makes more sense if you see a previous scene where you see the guy's fantasy of how it goes, but I couldn't find it on youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0MPwCYmFQo&t

Post reminds me more of faceoff... great movie

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by asiafever

Let's put this another way. You're out at a restaurant and a cute waitress is doing a stellar job of serving you and making sure your needs are catered to. This does NOT mean anything other than she's good at her job and knows that tips are a big part of her livelihood. You don't roam from cafe to cafe looking for the next Miss Right. Now occasionally you MAY find a regular who you genuinely feel you hit it off with, but 50 other guys get their coffee there too and maybe 10 or so of them flirt with her Just as you do. Of course she's not going to tell you that and she might like the attention (and generous tips), and MAYBE she does like a couple of the guys, but she is so used to the attention etc that she knows better than to shit on her own doorstep. Besides what do you have that the other 50 guys who hit on her a day don't? We all have self bias and so many will believe we are 'better' than we perhaps really are, and she is not going to flat out reject you because you are her income source. I have my favourite cafe and whwn I go the owner, who is very cute and sassy, and I have a flirty game which is fun, but I'm under no disillusion as to its nature. I am a customer who orders a latte and an occasional chocolate mousse cake and cracks jokes. That's it.
Anyway you get the idea. Exchange coffee for sex and you start to see the folly of the notion of finding a life partner in a shop. Yes it happens, but especially if you go in to cafes hoping to find a waitress to date you're going to come off creepy, desperate, and so on.

This post is brought to you by a fairly savage Xmas hangover..

---

The difference here is that being a waitress does not have the same "social stigmas" as being a WL.

No. You pay for a service.

Proceed at your own risk mate.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by asiafever

Exactly. One girl I knew said her dream was to earn enough extra money to have plastic surgery on her face to totally change how she looks so no guy will ever recognise her again.

---

I think the financial incentive is so strong that most of the girls will remain. They can earn anywhere between $2000 - $5000 per week.

I can't remember if I said it before but my regular told me "sucking dick for a living is a shit thing". I felt so bad along with a crapload of guilt for seeing her if that makes sense ? She made it very clear that she hates the job and does want to change. I just don't know when that will be, maybe in a year or so.

I really do feel for the WL's out there. It would destroy me mental health something shocking but I would be willing to sit down with them and support them either financially or emotionally. I don't consider myself a push over or a sponge, but I just feel for all WL's and ML's. Haven't done that much massage but still, its a similar situation.

When I see my WeChat moments and see a old regular is working in another industry, it makes me so proud to see they finally made the switch to working outside of shops and massage parlours. Sure the money is less but they don't have to put up with all the shit that WL's go through.

I don't know anymore, no idea why I care so much for WL's.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by aussiegaigin

The difference here is that being a waitress does not have the same "social stigmas" as being a WL.

---

My point was to show that you are paying to be served, nothing more.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by aussiegaigin

The difference here is that being a waitress does not have the same "social stigmas" as being a WL.

---

She has her clothes on and does no engage in sex with customers in the restaurant unlike a WL who does the opposite for money.

I have alot of friends, and know lots of ladies in the massage industry. Most of them already have husbands, partners and boyfriends and truly have no interest in the customer except for the cash you have. Many say they are single just to get you interested and keep coming back to give them more money. The few that are really single, especially chinese girls who do show "interest" are only focused on one thing that is a PR without having to pay for it. Don't be fooled to thinking they have interest in a relationship if you meet them in a shop. Another of times they do sit there laughing at customers once they have left. Treat it just as a transaction nothing more.

Hey guys

I never really post but perhaps my experiences might be of interest to some of you. Apologies if I dont use the correct lingo. I'll keep it short and simple...

Began seeing a Chinese WL in the shops a long time ago. I "followed" her all over Sydney and used to have 1, 2, sometimes 3 hour sessions (most of it was just "hanging out"). We began to see each other outside of work (she continued to work as WL however). She took me to China to meet her family. I had a blast! It was awesome. Sadly, a year or so later we mutually decided not to get married. No regrets at all.

A couple of years later began seeing a Korean WL. Same pattern as above but with some differences. We went to Korea 3 times to see family and we got married. She was still a WL right up till a month or so before the wedding. I look back and think that was pretty F'ed up. Stayed married for a number of years but my salary couldn't keep up with the "i want that $2000 bag" lifestyle, especially after quitting the WL work. The marriage ended. Oh the stories I could tell but wont. I was devastated but in the end, it was a blessing.

Stopped using WL services for a number of years and now just use ML services. Been seeing this ML lady exclusively lately. I should just be $$ to her but I can sense its moving beyond that. I thought I was safe but I can feel its beginning again...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by sydcj

Hey guys

I never really post but perhaps my experiences might be of interest to some of you. Apologies if I dont use the correct lingo. I'll keep it short and simple...

Began seeing a Chinese WL in the shops a long time ago. I "followed" her all over Sydney and used to have 1, 2, sometimes 3 hour sessions (most of it was just "hanging out"). We began to see each other outside of work (she continued to work as WL however). She took me to China to meet her family. I had a blast! It was awesome. Sadly, a year or so later we mutually decided not to get married. No regrets at all.

A couple of years later began seeing a Korean WL. Same pattern as above but with some differences. We went to Korea 3 times to see family and we got married. She was still a WL right up till a month or so before the wedding. I look back and think that was pretty F'ed up. Stayed married for a number of years but my salary couldn't keep up with the "i want that $2000 bag" lifestyle, especially after quitting the WL work. The marriage ended. Oh the stories I could tell but wont. I was devastated but in the end, it was a blessing.

Stopped using WL services for a number of years and now just use ML services. Been seeing this ML lady exclusively lately. I should just be $$ to her but I can sense its moving beyond that. I thought I was safe but I can feel its beginning again...

---

Thanks for posting your experiences, Syd.
I couldn't tell from what you've written whether you enjoy being in relationships with working girls (and therefore you seek it out) or you just happen to get into those situations.

I think one of the biggest problems with being in a committed relationship with a working girl is the term "living within your means" because the potential of the "means" part for them is different from what it is for someone who has never been in the industry.
They've seen all the money that they can get from the work, they know they can do the work, so they will always use that level of income as the watermark for their "means". If you marry them, get them to stop working, and you cannot / will not provide anything close to that level of spending power, then it is not good enough.
Letting them continue working (and let's assume you can handle the cuckolding) is not a solution either. She will eventually see you as not up to her wants and needs. A husband that lets her wife get fucked by other guys for money so he doesn't have to pay that same amount of money... That's a pimp!
So let's be realistic here. What kind of person can successfully pull it off from a financial point of view? I mean, to be able to take a WG as a wife and still be able to provide the same "good life" to her and not go broke in the process. I reckon even if you were a single professional, like a specialist doctor or lawyer, with $500k/annum gross income, you'd still struggle to sustain it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by asgard

I have alot of friends, and know lots of ladies in the massage industry. Most of them already have husbands, partners and boyfriends and truly have no interest in the customer except for the cash you have. Many say they are single just to get you interested and keep coming back to give them more money. The few that are really single, especially chinese girls who do show "interest" are only focused on one thing that is a PR without having to pay for it. Don't be fooled to thinking they have interest in a relationship if you meet them in a shop. Another of times they do sit there laughing at customers once they have left. Treat it just as a transaction nothing more.

---

Yes I agree. I have mainly been seeing Chinese girls over the past 3 years and can say that most are looking at getting PR. One WL I know has no interest in getting into a relationship at the moment for the purposes of getting PR as she is just enjoying her single life right now.

Her plan is to leave the industry, meet someone outside of the industry, hopefully it is true love, get married then start the process of PR. I agreed with her and said that is probably a better idea because honestly, meeting someone in a shop like myself is not good start. Don't know how to explain it but I think it's because the girls want to disassociate themselves from ever working in a brothel once they leave. I mean think about it. I am a punter having sex with different girls and then you start a relationship with a WL. Hope I make sense lol.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by sydcj

Hey guys

I never really post but perhaps my experiences might be of interest to some of you. Apologies if I dont use the correct lingo. I'll keep it short and simple...

Began seeing a Chinese WL in the shops a long time ago. I "followed" her all over Sydney and used to have 1, 2, sometimes 3 hour sessions (most of it was just "hanging out"). We began to see each other outside of work (she continued to work as WL however). She took me to China to meet her family. I had a blast! It was awesome. Sadly, a year or so later we mutually decided not to get married. No regrets at all.

A couple of years later began seeing a Korean WL. Same pattern as above but with some differences. We went to Korea 3 times to see family and we got married. She was still a WL right up till a month or so before the wedding. I look back and think that was pretty F'ed up. Stayed married for a number of years but my salary couldn't keep up with the "i want that $2000 bag" lifestyle, especially after quitting the WL work. The marriage ended. Oh the stories I could tell but wont. I was devastated but in the end, it was a blessing.

Stopped using WL services for a number of years and now just use ML services. Been seeing this ML lady exclusively lately. I should just be $$ to her but I can sense its moving beyond that. I thought I was safe but I can feel its beginning again...

---

An actual marriage with a WL, that’s dramatic!

And coming from a foundation member’s first post too, thanks for sharing sydcj!

Hope you found peace, happiness and love, wherever it might be !

Cheers

WLs face many dilemmas when looking for a serious relationship.
They want to meet someone who is NOT a punter for a serious relationship.
They generally don't respect punters (they see them as either losers or not being loyal to one woman) and want to avoid a serious relationship with them because a relationship that starts off by someone paying to use your body is contaminated from the start and they know that.
The problem is that because of their lifestyle it's hard for them to meet "normal" guys in "normal" situations and locations.
Also a punter knows their current or past job and they don't like that.
But a non-punter will most likely not want them if they know their current or past job, so they have to keep it secret and that is stressful because they are in constant fear that their past will be exposed at some stage.
So sometimes yes, they end up with punters, simply because there are not many other options, but 90% of the time these relationships fail.
Of course if they just want a sugar daddy, Permanent Residency etc then they will probably just settle for any naïve sucker who comes along.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rooter

WLs face many dilemmas when looking for a serious relationship.
They want to meet someone who is not a punter for a serious relationship.
They generally don't respect punters (they seem them as either losers or not being loyal to one woman) and want to avoid a serious relationship with them because a relationship that starts off by someone paying to use you is contaminated from the start and they know that.
The problem is that because of their lifestyle it's hard for them to meet "normal" guys in "normal" situations and locations.
Also a punter knows their current or past job and they don't like that.
But a non-punter will most likely not want them if they know their current or past job, so they have to keep it secret and that is stressful because they are in constant fear that their past will be exposed at some stage.
So sometimes yes, they end up with punters, simply because there are not many other options, but 90% of the time these relationships fail.
Of course if they just want a sugar daddy, Permanent Residency etc then they will probably settle for any naive sucker who comes along.

---

Couldn't have said this better my self

Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk

Loving the insight everyone is providing. Its bringing me back to reality.

It's all a fucking nightmare.
Don't get into it if you can.
If you're in, just be prepared.
But sometimes you can't control what your emotions want, so just enjoy the ride.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Niceguy11

Her plan is to leave the industry, meet someone outside of the industry, hopefully it is true love, get married then start the process of PR. I agreed with her and said that is probably a better idea because honestly, meeting someone in a shop like myself is not good start. Don't know how to explain it but I think it's because the girls want to disassociate themselves from ever working in a brothel once they leave. I mean think about it. I am a punter having sex with different girls and then you start a relationship with a WL. Hope I make sense lol.

---

I've heard this from a WL I liked and wanted something more.

She told me that after the leaves the job she will bury her past and will not look back.

She's done it, totally left that life, doesn't talk to anyone from those years.

I saw her in the city a few years back and she was unrecognisable, different hair, hat, sunglasses and no makeup. I was like wow that's her. She didn't see me look at her trying to figure out how I knew this girl.

This girl also told me she doesn't want a guy, she had three dogs at the time.

Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Riff888

I've heard this from a WL I liked and wanted something more.

She told me that after the leaves the job she will bury her past and will not look back.

She's done it, totally left that life, doesn't talk to anyone from those years.

I saw her in the city a few years back and she was unrecognisable, different hair, hat, sunglasses and no makeup. I was like wow that's her. She didn't see me look at her trying to figure out how I knew this girl.

This girl also told me she doesn't want a guy, she had three dogs at the time.

Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk

---

That's really good Riff she managed to escape.

The thing is bro my regular was telling me about all the married men that see WL's for sex. She knows the guys that see her are not relationship material because of what they do and I know its hard to say, and despite myself being single, how could she date someone like me if she does decide that ? The relationship is basically tainted from the get go. I mean I don't have a problem with it and totally understand her point of view but if it really did come down to dating, and she was willing to quit, I would definitely quit punting.

If for whatever reason she decides to go back to China or leave the industry, that is my punting career done and dusted. I'm at the point where I'm just tired of punting but not when I see my regular in a weird way. Currently at the moment, we are just friends. There is a lot of personal stuff going on with her that I won't talk about. Basically her life right now is very complicated.

Any relationship from this start is doomed for failure

A WL I've been seeing a bit of lately has been telling me a bit of her story.
She met a guy a number of years ago through her work. He was a client but they fell in love and married. He was 20yrs older than her and accepted her past history.
She left her WL career and settled into married life. Unfortunately after a few years of marriage the guy suffered a heart attack and died.
So due to financial pressure she has resumed her past career. A very sad story really.
If the guy was still alive she would still be happily married and not back on the job.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CountryPunter

A WL I've been seeing a bit of lately has been telling me a bit of her story.
She met a guy a number of years ago through her work. He was a client but they fell in love and married. He was 20yrs older than her and accepted her past history.
She left her WL career and settled into married life. Unfortunately after a few years of marriage the guy suffered a heart attack and died.
So due to financial pressure she has resumed her past career. A very sad story really.
If the guy was still alive she would still be happily married and not back on the job.

---

It is a sad story but didn't he have any assets to pass on to her like a house, car or super?

Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk