Need some advice of what to do next…..

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Originally Posted by ditchtheboss

Not hobbies, girls are bettet than any hobbies and i am weak on that sense. I made commitments after work and controlled my whereabouts to avoid circumstances where u am near one of the shops. I work for myself so i am in total control of what i do and where i go so that’s easy for me.

Rubbing one out also helps to control the urge

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Cheers, good avoidance strategies.
I found some cardio ofher than sex helps too. Depends if one is exercise inclined. I grew up fairly sporty but let it slip in recent years , but trying to get it back and helps to keep your mind clear of sexercising!

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Originally Posted by 11Bravo

Human nature*: You give an inch, they take a mile (someone else can do the metric conversion). Because of your extra work for free, hanging around, good nature, you were taken for granted. Because of your attachments to the shop, the boss assumed she could do whatever with no ramifications.

Obviously, walk away. Be happy with the good memories; now, those are just memories. Hopefully, you have the personal contacts (ala WeChat) of your regulars/favs, so you can find out where else they work and patronize those shops. Start the search for the replacement shop.

Celebrate a belated birthday on your next working trip to Thailand - take some vacation days or unpaid leave at the end of the assignment - talking weeks here. Punt in Thailand, taking some breaks to other countries to play tourist sightseeing. Cambodia - Angkor Wat should be on any bucket list. Laos has some nice places. Malaysia KL (RIP Beach Club), Penang. Indonesia. Singapore. Vietnam. Even Myanmar (fantastic country, go see Bagan; take the SLOW train from Yangon to Mandalay). Winter might not be the best time to go see China, but it's mandatory in January-February to see the Harbin Ice Festival, another bucket list item.

I'd just say take this as an opportunity to break the "Birthday-Punting" habit and broaden your horizons.

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Hi Bravo,

Just wanted to say thank you for your kind words of support.

Obviously, walking away is the best thing to do , which I have done . I have also deleted ALL contacts with anyone associated. So if they do reach out (which a few have already), then you know who your true friends are and who aren't as they say. In regard to my "favs, " mate, that chapter in my life has now closed, and I've moved on. They had their chances, still decided to string me along, and chose to lie to my face with a smile on it.

You're right about the "bucket list items, " and as one member (Pasion) said, "use it to travel the world instead. " Well, with the money I've saved by "slowing down," as pointed out by Double Adapter (but do you know the reason why, mate? Did you work that out yet?), I've booked myself on a 12-night tour (which I've always wanted to do but have been refused entry into the country in the past due to having certain stamps in my passport) - North Korea. Then the only one left on the list is Cuba (which I wanted to visit years ago when Fidel Castro was around, but never had a chance). I want to do China and India, but those are two countries where you need to know someone or have a friend from the country who 's willing to show you around and travel with you. I wouldn't do it by myself nowadays; traveling back in the late 90s/early 00s was a lot more fun than it is nowadays, I personally think .

On a final note, once again , you're right (along with AndrewV and a few others) about taking a break from punting and getting help. I did that way back in April this year, and finally, after six months of waiting and following up, the ball has started to roll , and appointment dates are booked. But like I've said, "all will be revealed soon..."

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Originally Posted by Tommyp63

Something needs to be very wrong for any business to tell (probably) its number 1 customer to never return. There’s two sides to every story

OP - as much as it sucks you’ve invested clearly lots of money & time into this place, I think it’s time to start fresh. It’s a business at the end of the day and if they don’t want your thousands of dollars each month, take it elsewhere

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Thanks Tommy,

You definitely think you’ve hit the nail on the head mate.

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Originally Posted by fnmfnmfnm

Two questions

- what do you do for work to spend 45k on punting in a year, and travel a lot
- how can I get a job doing it

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Hi Fnmfnmfnm,

Good question(s)…..

1) International Shipping.
2) Keep your eye out for jobs with the major players in the industry for any job openings. Sometimes set the search to “worldwide”, and you never know what you could find…..

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Originally Posted by jedibear

Bro sorry to hear that. Don't be taken for granted. Enjoy some Thai punani.

Sent from my SM-S911B using Tapatalk

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Nice one Jedibear - will definitely have a San Miguel light in your name when I’m over there next.

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Originally Posted by hornedbeast

You overstayed your welcome, loitering around and pottering about. They don't want you there anymore. Pretty clear. They deal with transactions, not entertaining those hanging around to chat etc. Name and shame them as a parting gift. As the saying goes... a fool and his money are soon parted.

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Sorry Hornedbeast, but a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell. Would love to “name & shame” , but what would that solve?

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Originally Posted by AHLUNGOR

same here, but I'm more interested in the $7K tax return ?

Like, what did he claim to get so much back ?

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Just filled in a “FITO” form at the ATO.

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Originally Posted by tezzaman18

That's good analytics!!! Shop owner may have wised up to that.

Plenty of good advice and a reality check from the Bros ...... 11Bravo, Folcis, Blitz, hornedbeast etc

You sound like a real decent bloke.

Rogerram has made a very good point. There is something not quite right in your life if your are spending so much time at the shop . Only natural to be pissed off , a feeling of injustice since the shop owner has put you out. If you are feeling angry , it's good . Helps the healing process.

You have to move on. Feel satisfied with what you have done! Does not matter if there is not appreciation or gratitude shown.

All the best!

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Thanks tezzaman, your right about how I feel and that something is not right.

18 months ago I was a totally different person to what I am now.

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Originally Posted by Rogerram

That sounds like an excuse to me of the WL not wanting to do the booking...

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Trust me when I say, no. Definitely not.

Mate glad to hear you are sorting yourself out. Sex addiction is as bad as any drug, can ruin your life as easily. Ive seen plenty of blokes at work fuck their reputation, marriage, and career through not getting help. Good luck to you and I am really pleased to hear you have taken the steps to recovery!

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Originally Posted by andrewv

Hello @westsydneypunter.

If you want a professional opinion, here it is: Disregard all the comments that other punters pontificated here. Go to see your GP and ask for a referral to a psychologist, for your own sake.
It will be the best thing you will do for your well-being. Your issues, based on what you wrote, are multi-layered, and much deeper and wider than being just a bloke who enjoyed going to brothels and "being nice and kind". I expect you will require counselling for at least 12 months to work out your issues, with appointments every 10 days or so.

Good luck.

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Hi AndrewV,

Finally someone with some proper advice. Thank you & you are 100% right.

There are underlying issues within myself that I need to resolved properly first to over come this and these have been address. Some of the biggest issues I now face is how to deal with the CBT along with the Stockholm Syndrome. Also trying to replace “that” with something else that brings me joy and happiness. That the challenge.

If you go to brothels more than once a week, you are a giant fucking loser to be honest. I'm sure the girls see you that way too. They probably pity your lonely poor self..

Imagine having money, but blowing it all up on hookers instead of doing something with your life. That's why you're a giant fucking loser. Zero respect.

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Originally Posted by andrewv

Psychological Analysis:


1. Emotional Dependency & Attachment Substitution

There are clear markers of parasocial or pseudo-intimate attachment—a one-sided emotional investment toward sex workers and the brothel community that substitutes for real emotional connection.
The “comfort” he describes functions as an emotional refuge, likely filling unmet needs for acceptance, belonging, and validation.

2. Compulsive or Addictive Sexual Behaviour

The frequency, duration, and financial outlay suggest possible compulsive use of commercial sex:

Recurrent high spending despite negative consequences.

Preoccupation with maintaining involvement.

Escalation in time commitment (multi-day bookings).

Intense distress when access is disrupted.
These are hallmarks of behavioural addiction, not purely transactional use.

3. Defended Vulnerability and Cognitive Dissonance

His insistence that he’s “not in love” and “not crazy” reflects defensive rationalisation—protecting against the painful recognition of emotional dependency or rejection.
The language (“I just help out out of kindness”) masks a need for significance and reciprocal care that he cannot admit within the transactional framework of a brothel.

4. Rejection Sensitivity & Narcissistic Injury

When the owner abruptly cuts him off, he experiences it as a betrayal of loyalty and worth. The subsequent indignation (“After all I’ve done for them!”) indicates narcissistic wounding—a collapse of self-esteem tied to perceived unfair treatment.

5. Possible Underlying Factors

Patterns suggest:

Loneliness and low relational self-efficacy (difficulty forming mutual, non-transactional bonds).

Possible depressive or dysthymic traits, masked by activity and “helpfulness.”

Compensatory behaviour through control, spending, and “being needed.”

Summary
This punter exhibits traits of loneliness, dependency, and compulsive sexual behaviour masked as altruism. He appears emotionally invested in transactional environments that provide temporary acceptance. The abrupt rejection by the brothel has destabilised his sense of belonging, revealing underlying emotional vulnerability. Therapeutic intervention is advised to address attachment repair, emotional dependency, and self-worth regulation.

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I have to agree and disagree with some of your comments.

In order for you to give your “professional opinion” , wouldn’t you normally sit down with a client and try and understand the bigger picture and work out the underlying issues that way instead of what you read online.

If you are a “professional” , and do have any suggestions or advice of how to move forward, any help or tips are much appreciated. Pleas feel free to DM me.

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Originally Posted by Paison

Hookers are hookers. Its unfortunate, but you aren't going to find any loyalty or repayment - and at the end of day, they dont owe you nothing - its all transactional

Just save ur money and use it to travel the world instead mate. For 7k, you'd have a blast at Thailand.

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I heard a saying in China when I was working out there, it was something like 妓女冷酷無情，演員漠不關心 ( translated into English is something like “ Whores are heartless and actors are indifferent...”).

If anyone out there knows the correct saying, let me know.

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Originally Posted by ditchtheboss

Dude you need serious help and you became a liability for the shop. Leave this site, quit punting and seek help pronto

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Thanks for your kind words of support ditchtheboss.

I'm not looking for judgment or lectures - I'm looking for real talk from people who get it, or at least won't kick someone when they're down. I know I fucked up. I'm looking for understanding, maybe some guidance from others who've walked this path.

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Originally Posted by RogerWood

I find its best to keep trying new ladies, by sticking with regulars they will exploit u. It's fine to have regulars, but u dont want them thinking you're only seeing them alone.

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Good words of advice, thanks RogerWood. A few people have said the same.

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Originally Posted by ChadThunderrcock

My professional diagnosis of OP is he most likely suffers from condition called "Not-Handsome & Not-Attractive"

He most likely does not look like Brad Pitt, Chris Hemsworth, BTS Jimin, Jackson Wang or Super-Junior Siwon.

Thats why he spends all his time at a brothel and paying for transactional sex

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Hi Chad,

Q. Is there any reason why you use the same line in over 50% of your 255 post? It’s ether something about “Brad Pit” or “old fat men” - you come across as a bit of a keyboard worrier to me with a complex of being rejected yourself.

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Originally Posted by AUSSIEHOTGUY

OP you're the biggest simp ever. Dude WTF. Man the fuck up for fucks sake. You're such a fucking loser.

Its blokes like you the reason the rest of us get so many roots, bareback all inclusive for $150-170/hr.

You call yourself a punter you son of a bitch?

Just listen to yourself how pathetic you are:

"The thing is, over the 16 months of going to this shop, I have never asked for a discount and always pay full price, even though some customers from certain backgrounds get a discounted rate of $40 and up to $180 on their doubles. I know; I’ve seen, heard, and even taken payment when working as requested by the owner while helping out.

With all that said, the way I have been treated. Who do you think is in the wrong? And what should I do?

What should you do? You should MAN THE FUCK UP. Stop being the sissy simp you are and take fucken control. YOU OWN THE WHORE WHEN YOU PAY YOU IDIOT!!! Get this through your head and if you can't ask your friend to piss in your ear to clear it. OK.

"...the way I have been treated..."

Oh you poor diddums. You sound like a fucken faggot. Maybe you should try sucking dick.. just for a change. You might like the taste. Maybe it'll put things in perspective for you.

You think this is abuse? YOU THINK THIS IS ABUSE YOU FUCKEN COCKSUCKER???!!

Coming here expecting us to blow sunshine up your ass.

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Nah mate, I came here for a conversation. What about you?

Kick a man when he’s down and going through a dark patch in his life only to be taken advantage of by others. You got kids? Well, when it all comes out, think about what you said and then think, would you do if someone did that your kid. Grow up mate, you got to be over 18 to join this site.

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Originally Posted by RodgHerMoore

Apart from the last post this thread is interesting and lots of bros have made good points.

I'd add to brother aussie hot guy tho. OP considers himself kind and nice. How about obsessive and a weirdo?

Who goes to the same place over and over? I agree with the posts that say he's deflecting/hiding his clear emotional attachment to the place.

Fk n leave as the saying goes in this forum.

About the no money comment, some bright brother did the maths. Yes OP paid the whole day but if you average it out, the WLs could have earned more per customer than the average rate you paid to "book them the whole day".

To OP, think about it from their perspective. You reduced their earnings and some may be living day to day on their takings. Even if it isn't this, you're ruining their earnings. It's a business at the end of the day and you're just another cock to them.

Glad to know you're moving on but don't get attached to the next place. No girl or business owes u anything.

It's a brothel/RnT FFS.

The other advice you're getting here is a good one....treat yourself to a good trip in Thailand or Philippines.

If u have cash and crave personal connection but cannot get a proper talk relationship then a sugar baby is better for you than these shops. You buy a better GF experience that way.

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Who goes to the same place over and over? You’ll find out why soon…

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Originally Posted by thunder545454

Why don't you just invite the girls overnight to your place, I am sure they rather pocket the shop fee themselves and hang out at your place go for dinner etc, rather than just spend 6 hours in a room with you where they work all day.

Ive taken many girls from shops out, they are always keen to get paid and go out and about rather than stay at the shop.

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Good point - and I did on a few occasions. I was even promised by some that we would go to OSS together.

But that’s the thing, it was all part of a act along with other actions to keep me coming back for more. I fell for the act.