Dating a Papasan.

I'm new to this forum so please go easy on me as I'm still trying to navigate the site and understand the unwritten Do's and Dont's of this forum.

To cut a long story short as my profile name indicates I like playing for boths teams. Women have been my preference but as I've gotten wiser and bolder I've been dabbling with both sexes. I frequent brothels, massage parlours, private escorts and occasionally venture out to Darlinghurst for fun. With Covid lockdowns, sex drive, job, career, age etc trying to find suitable partners has become a challenge.

This forum has a wealth of knowledge and has countless of threads giving advice on Dating WL's & Dating Massage ladies. Unfortunately my search could not find anything on dating people of the same sex.

I have been frequenting a particular brothel/massage parlour in Sydney for some time but I can't mention the place as it might give away the other party, but I have developed strong feelings for the young Asian papasan. These feeling have evolved, developed and grown over time and some of the signs and behaviours indicate that he might have similar growing feelings towards me but I'm not 100% on whether he's come out, he's coming out slowly or if he's still coming to grips with his sexuality.

I need some advice as what to do, should I ask him out on a date, should I even consider dating a papasan, should I show my appreciation by giving him small gifts, should I take things slowly, what is like to date Asian guys, what do they like etc - I'm going crazy over this guy and I'm hoping some of the experienced members of this forum will be able to provide sound advice as to how to go about it.


Thank you for reading my story and for any responses or comments you might have.

Oòh shit here we go again(gta), another love story on punting forum. OP don't take this the wrong way, do not fall in love with anyone who is in sex industry, I repeat DO NOT FALL IN LOVE. What you have is series of chemicle harmons playing on your brain, post nut should give you some clarity before you venture in relationship with someone who is a papasan. You will regret very soon when you see him interacting with 100's of horny customers everyday, it will take toll on your mental health and you will be back where you started. If you love men jump into Grinder or travel to one if the Asian countries and experience gay men to understand what they like and don't. Thailand is the best place to find gay men easily and start with ladyboys.

I think papasan is fine. I feel for you as sometimes, your brain and your heart are enemies of each other. Really hard to decide which one wins. Makes you feel low and depressed all the time

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with dating a papasan/mamasan.

They are just doing a job for the business, like a salesperson in a shop or a waiter in a restaurant. They don't have the "sexual stigma" that comes with a working girl/guy.

Treat them like you would any "normal" person you encounter in your day to day life.

To the OP. Don’t know whether you’re trolling, but there are better sites than this to seek advice about homosexual relationships. Most of the guys here are straight. What the fuck would we know about homo behaviour?

Suggesting Double A to take a look at Auxxxreview , they have lots of reviews in Bi, ladyboys , trans, etc. have a section specifically on “a walk on the wild side “ as well.

Then again , as mentioned above , this forum is 99.9% for straight male, so you won’t be getting too much meaningful intels.

Visiting Asia to play the other side should be a good start.

Thanks for the responses and the support shown.

For those that are quick to pass judgement and slow to self reflect, judge not that you be not judged. Anyone can speak troll all you gotta do is point and grunt.

Just for the record I'm openly bisexual and have multiple options to release any build-up, so it's not about busting a nut but being in a relationship. To date the relationships I've had with females haven't worked out, possibly due to their flaky and emotional nature which eventually pushes me over the edge.

I get there a challenges and stigmas associated with being in a relationships with a WL but as a member rightly pointed working in the adult industry as a mamasan, papasan or owner is not the same as being a sex worker.

I've tried the suggested forums but you gotta jump through burning hoops before you are able to access the forum completely and be able to read or post threads - some say very Nazi like. This forum on the other hand is open minded, very flexible, doesn't follow archaic beuarecratic rules, and all members have the right to say their piece.

I appreciate the comments and feedback so far.

Firstly to clarify my position I'm all for it, if all parties involved are happy then really I don't care what persuasion someone is, I've been a groomsman at a gay wedding and one of my oldest friends is in a relationship with a ts. I'm terminally straight, though I've seen pics of ts that I've thought "She is sexy" but I have no interest in a sword fight.

Your situation is unique in that here you have the management of a very hetero place, so he may feel he has a reputation to protect, and there may be cultural obstacles to overcome also. I would suggest to tread carefully, really suss out the lay of the land before proceeding too far. Even bringing something up in passing like "Hey, have you had many gay guys coming in to try a girl to see if they like it?" Or something similar to bring the topic up. If he goes full homophobe then you have an immediate answer and not to waste your time, if it then leads to a more positive conversation you can press further, ask about ts, bi guys etc, eventually try and work around to what his preferences are.

I mean of course you could just go "Hey Tim, listen, I'm not sure if you knew but I'm bi and find you attractive, would you be interested?"

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Originally Posted by Fred Flintstone

To the OP. Don’t know whether you’re trolling, but there are better sites than this to seek advice about homosexual relationships. Most of the guys here are straight. What the fuck would we know about homo behaviour?

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Hahahhaha agree

Reads like a gee up to me

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Double_Adapter

I've tried the suggested forums but you gotta jump through burning hoops before you are able to access the forum completely and be able to read or post threads - some say very Nazi like. This forum on the other hand is open minded, very flexible, doesn't follow archaic beuarecratic rules, and all members have the right to say their piece.

I appreciate the comments and feedback so far.

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Yes, the other forum is very heavily moderated but you have a choice : you can either post some reviews and earn a free membership or you can pay fees to gain access. There ain’t no free lunch but the details and useful informations are worth it.

Cheers

some are good, some are bad, they are only human too though I saw many man receptionist like drug, and gamble. so just be careful.
if you like those things, https://c.tenor.com/WogtNEb_jCwAAAAM/match-perfect.gif perfect match ^o^

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Originally Posted by asiafever

Firstly to clarify my position I'm all for it, if all parties involved are happy then really I don't care what persuasion someone is, I've been a groomsman at a gay wedding and one of my oldest friends is in a relationship with a ts. I'm terminally straight, though I've seen pics of ts that I've thought "She is sexy" but I have no interest in a sword fight.

Your situation is unique in that here you have the management of a very hetero place, so he may feel he has a reputation to protect, and there may be cultural obstacles to overcome also. I would suggest to tread carefully, really suss out the lay of the land before proceeding too far. Even bringing something up in passing like "Hey, have you had many gay guys coming in to try a girl to see if they like it?" Or something similar to bring the topic up. If he goes full homophobe then you have an immediate answer and not to waste your time, if it then leads to a more positive conversation you can press further, ask about ts, bi guys etc, eventually try and work around to what his preferences are.

I mean of course you could just go "Hey Tim, listen, I'm not sure if you knew but I'm bi and find you attractive, would you be interested?"

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Can do like Sheldon on S2:E3, TBBT:
“Excuse me? Are you currently involved in a sexual relationship? Would you like to be?”

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Originally Posted by storry_teller

Can do like Sheldon on S2:E3, TBBT:
“Excuse me? Are you currently involved in a sexual relationship? Would you like to be?”

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Haha yes exactly!

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Originally Posted by Double_Adapter

This forum on the other hand is open minded, very flexible, doesn't follow archaic beuarecratic rules, and all members have the right to say their piece.

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Haha give it some time and you’ll see what this place is really like.

A big thanks to all the members that provided positive and negative comments including the responses from the doubting Thomas' - I've asked for advice and therefor willing to take the good with the bad. Having said that I've taken your suggestions onboard and will now press forward and take the necessary actions to see how this plays out (fingers crossed).

For closure and to answer some of your questions or concerns:

On Forums - If a free lunch is on offer who am I to say no.....if push comes to shove even a happy meal will do me fine.
I'm new to this site so I'm yet to learn about what makes this forum popular and the go to place for adult discussions. Suffice to say from the various posts I've read flaming is rampant and flame-wars can start at the blink of an eye. I'm cool with whatever is dished out and I'm cool with being thrown into the troll-gay basket (even though I'm neither). The adult politics and debates discussed here are no different from the local or international politics that play out on our TV screens each day, so what's new? At least with the former you typically get a happy ending. Discrimination is all around us anywhere and everywhere. Whether your're gay, bi, non-binary, black, yellow, red, rich, overweight, poor, educated, religious, illiterate, a WL, a ML, a sex worker etc discrimination will always exist in some way, shape or form. We just need to grow a thick skin, press on and focus on our personal goals and agendas.

On Relationships - I think everyone will agree that clandestine punting, discreet sexual activities, forming secret relationships with WL's, ML's, mamasan's, papasan's is not your typical everyday issue that is openly discussed in magazines like Cosmopolitan, Cleo, Women's Day, breakfast TV and radio shows etc. It's not something you openly discuss with your friends, relatives, boss, or work colleagues. IMO the only place to get real, solid, factual and sound advice is in Adult forums like this one - and this is the main reason why I'm here. Everyone has a story to tell, experience, a biased or unbiased opinion and that is a good thing. We simply need to filter out the bad bits and take the good bits.

Falling in Love with a Worker - I agree that falling in love with a WL, a ML, a Lady Boy, an erotic masseuse can be difficult especially given the type of work they engage in, and this has to play on your mind ie unless you've been lobotomised. I'm hoping that that by dating mamasans, papasans, owners of premises etc the associated risks will be different or lessened. Time will tell.

Getting your Rocks off - It's quite easy to bust a nut when the need arises. You don't need to go overseas to get action, the action is right here in our doorstep or your palm or your hand.
I frequent massage parlours, brothels to release tension and I've gone clubbing with lady boys but they have a reputation for becoming quite bitchy even more than women. I do find that asian gay men are more sensitive to open relationships than caucasian men but that's just me.

Thanks for reading and commenting.....its appreciated.

To the OP

Had thought the same as some prev comments .. giddy up

However, another of your posts suggests your quite openly bi, hence comfy in your skin , if so what exactly are you chasing here, in terms of ‘feedback - aside from adding a bit more grit n grain to the ‘conversation’

go forth and ask , like many have here I’m sure with lust lidded eyes post ejaculation, asked many a ml/wl and possibly reception for their numbers

What’s the worst that could and has happened. Nada

what size riding boots do you wear?

This is the worst place to ask for relationship advice, gay or straight. This place is about whore mongering. Enough said.
Even Reddit is better than here.

Most members here are hetro, I think the majority of the bros here wouldn’t know what to do if they saw a penis in front of them … aside from their own of course.
The sensible advice here is to avoid relationships from this industry altogether, however, if you have this attraction and it is reciprocated then go for it. Be sure to update this thread on the outcome and thanks for sharing. Certainly something like this has never been mentioned before.

Mate, in my opinion, nothing good has ever come from dating or marrying someone from the mongering industry. How could it? Sex, drugs, gambling, late nights, cash, pimps, immigration scams plus all the associated gang activities. What could possibly go wrong? No one can exist in that environment without being adversely affected in some way. Just run.

I thought I’d be polite and provide an update on the Dating a Papasan question posed earlier.

Considering all comments and suggestions by the well versed members I took a casual but direct approach.

I called the shop and booked to see one of the girls. I made sure I arrived early to allow ample time to strike a conversation with the papasan.

We got talking and openly exchanged information about our lives and the more the conversation continued the deeper the attraction became.
Long story short he’s a university student and works at the brothel to make ends meet. He’s in a casual FWB relationship with one of the lecturer's. This relationship of convenience comes with various academic and sugar daddy benefits so he feels obligated to continue with the relationship even though he’s not 100% into the sugar daddy.

He’s struggling to come to grips with his situation mainly due to his strict upbringing, cultural norms and taboos. His parents back in China would not approve of the relationship so he hides it by telling them he’s dating Chinese girls in Australia and posts photos of himself with some of the WL’s from the shop. His life is quite complicated and at times I felt for the guy.

I suggested when he’s free, not studying for exams, and not working at the brothel we could have a chat over coffee. He liked the idea and said he would need to figure out the timing and logistics as his sugar daddy is very possessive, tracks his every movement, is overly suspicious, and is the jealous and overbearing type. He said the sugar daddy will frequently facetime him (rather than text him) so he can verify his whereabouts and where he is supposed to be. So as not to complicate his life any further I gave him my phone number and told him if things didn’t work out between him and the sugar daddy, or if he ever needed a shoulder to cry on and a warm bed to sleep on he could hit me up.

Even though this didn’t pan out the way I envisaged I left the door open for him. Not wanting to be the 3rd wheel on this relationship I'll pull away and give the papasan space to work out his problems and his relationship with the sugar daddy. Perhaps the punting gods have been kind to me and I have dodged a bullet.

Thanks for reading and happy punting.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Double_Adapter

I thought I’d be polite and provide an update on the Dating a Papasan question posed earlier.

Considering all comments and suggestions by the well versed members I took a casual but direct approach.

I called the shop and booked to see one of the girls. I made sure I arrived early to allow ample time to strike a conversation with the papasan.

We got talking and openly exchanged information about our lives and the more the conversation continued the deeper the attraction became.
Long story short he’s a university student and works at the brothel to make ends meet. He’s in a casual FWB relationship with one of the lecturer's. This relationship of convenience comes with various academic and sugar daddy benefits so he feels obligated to continue with the relationship even though he’s not 100% into the sugar daddy.

He’s struggling to come to grips with his situation mainly due to his strict upbringing, cultural norms and taboos. His parents back in China would not approve of the relationship so he hides it by telling them he’s dating Chinese girls in Australia and posts photos of himself with some of the WL’s from the shop. His life is quite complicated and at times I felt for the guy.

I suggested when he’s free, not studying for exams, and not working at the brothel we could have a chat over coffee. He liked the idea and said he would need to figure out the timing and logistics as his sugar daddy is very possessive, tracks his every movement, is overly suspicious, and is the jealous and overbearing type. He said the sugar daddy will frequently facetime him (rather than text him) so he can verify his whereabouts and where he is supposed to be. So as not to complicate his life any further I gave him my phone number and told him if things didn’t work out between him and the sugar daddy, or if he ever needed a shoulder to cry on and a warm bed to sleep on he could hit me up.

Even though this didn’t pan out the way I envisaged I left the door open for him. Not wanting to be the 3rd wheel on this relationship I'll pull away and give the papasan space to work out his problems and his relationship with the sugar daddy. Perhaps the punting gods have been kind to me and I have dodged a bullet.

Thanks for reading and happy punting.

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Thanks for the update. Yea a lot of university lecturers are dirty old men lol.

So when I read papasan the first time I had envisaged someone more around the age of the university lecturer. I've seen the term boysan thrown around a little. Sounds like a better fit in this scenario.

In any case, good luck to OP.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by alc

So when I read papasan the first time I had envisaged someone more around the age of the university lecturer. I've seen the term boysan thrown around a little. Sounds like a better fit in this scenario.

In any case, good luck to OP.

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Yes, correct. I thought the term Papasan here referred to the male owner of the shop or the owner’s trusted manager. In any case, it means trusted male elder. If it was a real papasan, there would be issues with the power and wealth imbalance and of course him trying to conceal a homo relationship from Big Boss. If he’s only a uni kid who sits on reception part time, then there’s no risk, so just go for it. Jeez, the kid might as well work in shoe shop.

Thanks for your comments.

There’s a theory that states in order to determine the age of Asian women, you first guess their age and then add 15 years. Does the same apply to Asian men?

Anyway Ive concluded that either the sugar daddy is an insecure individual or the papasan/boysan is a player and therefore the sugar daddy has a reason to be suspicious.

Though this makes me think about the number of stories where the script is flipped.
A common theme I’ve noticed from the “Dating a WL/ML” threads is that obsessive behaviour, infatuation, clinginess and neediness, and passive stalking (whether intended or unintended) is rampant amongst some punters eg some people know the full history of their WLs, their rosters, all the shops they work in and were they’ve previously worked, the various names and aliases they go by, where they live, who they live with, their life etc etc…….just saying.

I just don’t get it, what makes people behave that way?
Did they have a controlled and possessive upbringing?
Are they insecure about their sexuality and ability to find new relationships?
Have they always struggled to find partners so the first attractive WL that treats them well they become infatuated and obsessed?

I’ll be keen to hear the thoughts of the seasoned and experienced members or those that have walked this path.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Double_Adapter

Thanks for your comments.

There’s a theory that states in order to determine the age of Asian women, you first guess their age and then add 15 years. Does the same apply to Asian men?

Anyway Ive concluded that either the sugar daddy is an insecure individual or the papasan/boysan is a player and therefore the sugar daddy has a reason to be suspicious.

Though this makes me think about the number of stories where the script is flipped.
A common theme I’ve noticed from the “Dating a WL/ML” threads is that obsessive behaviour, infatuation, clinginess and neediness, and passive stalking (whether intended or unintended) is rampant amongst some punters eg some people know the full history of their WLs, their rosters, all the shops they work in and were they’ve previously worked, the various names and aliases they go by, where they live, who they live with, their life etc etc…….just saying.

I just don’t get it, what makes people behave that way?
Did they have a controlled and possessive upbringing?
Are they insecure about their sexuality and ability to find new relationships?
Have they always struggled to find partners so the first attractive WL that treats them well they become infatuated and obsessed?

I’ll be keen to hear the thoughts of the seasoned and experienced members or those that have walked this path.

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I'm far from a seasoned vet, but this is my opinion.

People are weird man, and there is a bunch of oxytocin being released during sex that makes you feel amazing, that not everyone has a great deal of experience with that in a "casual" sense.

Some people see sex as a very intimate affair reserved only for a lover, others are able to compartmentalise it as "just fucking" and not develop an emotion bond from the experience.

I fell it's the former of the two that display the behaviours you described. Their way of thinking isn't a healthy approach to this hobby, and I feel you might be right regarding their ability to developing new relationships in general.

Most of the blame is to be held with the 'Jon' who lacks experience with such interactions, but also some of the blame must be attributed to the WL/ML who may lay it on a little too thick during the booking in an attempt to secure return business.

Overall, I feel like inexperience is the answer to your question. Mainly not being able to differentiate between "love" and "fucking".

Additionally, the relationship these guys have with the WL/ML is never equal, he might only see her, but she will see many, so the infatuation will mostly be stronger in one direction.