Reply With QuoteWould help if you said what chemsex is
**From Punting to Chemsex – Why I’m Finally Speaking Up**
I’ve been staring at this blank screen for weeks, wondering if I should even post this. Honestly, it’s taken me months just to find the courage to do something about it. Writing this isn’t easy, but staying silent hasn’t done me any favours either.
I’m sharing because I’m tired of carrying this alone. Maybe—just maybe—someone else out there needs to know they’re not the only one tangled in this mess.
To be 100% honest, I’ve hit rock bottom with a chemsex addiction, and I need to be accountable to someone other than myself. If this helps even one person spot the signs before they end up where I am, then the vulnerability is worth it. The worst part? There’s barely any real support out there. Try explaining chemsex addiction to a regular therapist—they look at you like you’re speaking another language. The gay community has resources, but for straight blokes caught in this world? You’re pretty much on your own.
The signs I wish I’d recognised earlier: lying about money spent, making excuses for time away, feeling controlled by urges I couldn’t manage, and the secrecy slowly poisoning other parts of my life. When something that’s meant to be occasional turns compulsive, when you start planning your whole week around sessions, when you’re borrowing money or dipping into savings you can’t afford to touch—those are the red flags I ignored for way too long.
Please be respectful if you reply. I’m not after judgment or lectures—I’m looking for real talk from people who get it, or at least won’t kick someone when they’re already down. I know I fucked up. I’m after understanding, maybe some guidance from others who’ve walked this path.
This isn’t about judging the industry, the workers, or the clients. It’s about recognising when recreational fun crosses into compulsion, when spending gets out of control, and when secrecy starts destroying everything else in your life.
If this resonates, you’re not alone. If you’ve found yourself in similar patterns, there’s no shame in admitting it might be bigger than willpower alone can fix.
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**About me**
I’m in my late 40s, single, in a well-paid job and mortgage-free. Not winning any beauty contests, but I’ve had my share of relationships and been lucky in love too. I’ve had some wonderful long-term ones, but when I’m with someone, I never punt—out of respect. It just wouldn’t feel right.
Just under twenty years ago, I took a leap and moved to Australia for work. Hands down the best decision I ever made. Before that, I was based in Europe with a job that had me travelling everywhere—Europe, South America, Asia, the Middle East, you name it. Meeting different people and soaking up different cultures really opened my eyes.
I’ve always had this “fuck it—try it once, and if you like it, do it again; if not, at least you tried” attitude. Probably comes from my upbringing and the era I grew up in. For anyone from the UK: born in the 70s, grew up in the 80s, raved in the 90s—“Castle Morton” or the “Summer of Love.” Yeah, I was one of those kids.
Maybe that’s why I’m still young at heart and don’t act my age.
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**My first punt**
Back in the late 90s, I went to Poland to visit family. One night I ended up in a local bar, got chatting to a local guy, and he mentioned a new brothel just outside town.
Eastern Europe in the late 90s was a different world. Brothels popped up in the strangest places—way out of town, down muddy tracks, hidden in forest clearings. Open 24/7, usually with a flickering sign promising “zimne piwo, gorące kobiety” (cold beer, hot women). For truck drivers, they were a one-stop shop: hot meal, some company, a place to crash.
Remember, this was less than five years after the end of Soviet presence in Poland. Under communism, Marxism saw sex work as a product of capitalism—so everything stayed underground, run by mafia gangs, ex-Soviet army generals, or “businessmen” with local government connections.
Back then, info spread by word of mouth or coded ads in the back of newspapers. It felt mysterious and exciting—not like today, where everything’s on your phone.
Looking back, that night was a big moment. It introduced me to feelings of adventure and desire I hadn’t really understood before.
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**Back home**
First punt done. Back in the UK, I started going every couple of months—technically illegal, but curiosity won out. Being new to it and only hearing horror stories, I never really got hooked. Maybe it was the places or the girls—it just didn’t click.
So I explored other things: swinging (private settings at first), swinger parties and clubs, dogging, a few other kinks. I dipped my toes in slowly.
Then I landed a job that meant regular travel. That’s when things started to shift.
With the travel and the new interests, I got to explore a lot of the world’s nightlife. Days were work—meetings, site visits, the usual. But evenings? That’s when it got interesting. Instead of sitting alone in a hotel room staring at the TV, I started checking out the parts of cities most people don’t talk about. Red-light districts in Amsterdam, Hamburg, Antwerp. Kabukichō in Tokyo. Streets in Tijuana, Pattaya, Barranquilla, Bogotá, Rio—each with its own wild energy after dark. Swingers clubs in Paris and Berlin. Classy hotel bars in Moscow and Dubai where the drinks are pricey, the women look like models, and the line between flirting and business gets blurry.
Every city has a hidden side—you just have to go looking. And I was looking.
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**Australia**
Fast forward to the late 2000s. I had my own place, a great relationship, life felt settled. Then a job opened up in Australia. I thought: what’s the worst that can happen? They say no, or they say yes and I take the leap—either I love it and stay, or I come home with stories. You don’t know unless you try. So I applied, got it, sorted the visa, packed my life into boxes, said emotional goodbyes (including ending a relationship that meant a lot). Hardest part, but we both knew it was too good an opportunity.
Landed in Sydney, settled in, figured out the lay of the land. Maybe a year or two in, I learned brothels are legal in NSW. Thought: sod it, let’s give it a go.
My first punt here was out west—some of you old-timers might remember the place. Incredible lineup: the GILF who knew exactly what she was doing, the redheaded BBW who could edge you to insanity, the tall, thin hot blonde Aussie MILF who gave me one of the best experiences I’ve ever had in Sydney.
First one done, and I was hooked on finding more. Started going every 3–4 months, first local, then branching out—but always knowing the bar was set high at that first shop.
I’m a bit of a service perfectionist. If I’m paying, I don’t want starfish or to need Google Translate for a booking.
We all want different things from a punt, but for me, great service is always top. I’d rather go somewhere I know I’ll have a genuinely good time than risk it on the unknown. That probably kept me loyal to the same place.
Months flew by, visits dropped to maybe once every 4–5 months. Back then, you could get genuinely great service for $120–$150 max. Life was good, prices fair, you knew what you were getting.
It stayed under control. Never became a problem.
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**When it all goes wrong**
My real struggle started in June 2024, when I met one specific working lady (WL) who introduced me to Chemsex. Without realising, things spiralled fast. By the end of 2024, I was doing 4–8 hour sessions, three or four times a week at $200 per hour.
In 2025, the shock of how much money I was sinking into it made me start tracking everything. Awareness helped confront it—at first.
Early 2025, it got worse. I realised I couldn’t fight it alone. In April, I decided to seek help. It wasn’t easy; finding the right support took months longer than I hoped. After five long months, I found an outreach program that accepted me and promised I wouldn’t have to do this alone.
In late November 2025, they helped get me admitted to the Gorman Detox Unit at St Vincent’s for my ICE addiction. A huge step. Now I’m in ongoing recovery, working hard to overcome the sex addiction side too.
The past year has been brutal. I’d be lying if I said it was easy. I’ve had several relapses since November—each one brings disappointment, but also more determination. Setbacks are part of it; I keep pushing forward.
In 2025 alone, this cost me 242 sessions (approx. 488 hours, $87,912 total). The financial hit is massive, but so is the damage to my mental health and relationships. I’m still coming to terms with it all.
Every day is a challenge, but I’m committed to healing. I’m slowly rebuilding, fixing the choices that led here. Through therapy and support, I’m starting to understand the why behind my behaviours and building tools for a healthier future.
If you or someone you know is in a similar spot: seeking help is strength, not weakness. You don’t have to face it alone. There is hope and support out there.
And all of this… because of one person.
If this hits home, reach out. You’re not alone.
Would help if you said what chemsex is
I hope your road to recovery becomes less challenging.
Ignore the ones on here trying to shoot you down.
All the best mate.
Thanks mate for your kind words of supportOriginally Posted by Kiki kong
https://youtu.be/kdbS22vBYzA?si=GBcangFGNY3GYd-f
Would probably help if you read what he took the time to write, its pretty clear.
OP - fascinating read and thank you for sharing. Good luck mate.
The thrill is gone
It's gone away for good
Oh, the thrill is gone, baby
It's gone away for good
Someday, I know I'll be over it all, baby
Just like I know a man should
I did read it. And it is obviously heartfelt and written from a desperate state. But I can’t relate to it because I don’t have that experience. He is asking for help. I can’t offer any if I don’t know what it is he is talking about. I have now just watching the YouTube video posted. Chemsex sounds like the worst possible type of addiction, marrying physical pleasure with sexual desire. He needs to seek professional help.
i googled the definition for all
CHEMSEX
sexual activity engaged in while under the influence of stimulant drugs such as methamphetamine or mephedrone, typically involving several participants.
Great piece of writing.
Great info,
There is a lot of truths there, but also one which by using the term "chemsex" mis-informs.
ANY DRUGS ARE DANGEROUS.
That includes prescription drugs, which are easily misused.
SEX is also a drug, so mixing drugs is bad, mixing sex with drugs are bad and many times fatal.
There you go, I have reduced the article/story down to just a few lines.
ALL is true.
Thanks - just taking it day by day, it’s hard but nothing in life is easy…
Take care, and I wish you all the best in your progress and recovery.
Just curious, how did your total amount spent end at 2?
I'll be a little alternate. ICE is addictive and dangerous - good luck with your recovery. Don't ever take it again. MDA on the other hand is not addictive, and is safe when micro dosed in powder form, and is an incredible sex enhancer. Note MDA is not ecstasy (MDMA).It is milder, and a much better love drug. A little hard to find, but if you do, and have a single life that enables you to take it occasionally and have sex, all power to you.
Last edited by speranza; 13-01-2026 at 01:20 PM. Reason: error
dope is pretty good too, (but nowhere near as good as MDA) and THC edibles can be purchased online in Australia via Smirk and Herb
242 sessions - approx: 488 hours - $87,912 total
Got it, thanks.
When you are about to have a setback, what concrete steps/thought patterns do you do to hopefully not give in to the temptation?
Put the money into a psychologist instead. They'll put you on the path to figure out why you're doing all of this in the first place. Hint: probably unresolved (or unexamined) childhood trauma. And this stuff is all self soothing to deal with it. You need to get aware of all of it and begin addressing the underlying problems.
All of us have a story to tell and things to learn from. Thanks for sharing.
It’s also up to all us punters to look out for each other, especially if we see the use of illicit substances and drugs.
This would be a good example https://youtu.be/9ZDTZtfx2dQ?si=uqGR-6qbRCIZEzXW
Props to the OP for sharing that. It's a shame really as chemsex is awesome fun but comes at a hefty price in $, health, head and life - would love to hear from someone that has been through and come out the other side. I guess by definition, that person is not likely to be on this forum
Newbie still learning
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