First punt nerves/guilt?

[BadDog1980]

Lol bro....good topic. Hope my input helps. For me, tensions on the home front and work, got me low and feeling depressed. So I went over to the darkside to seek some pleasure to get rid of my sadness. Eventually an opportunity arose as the fam was away visiting parents. Just getting out of my car to the front door of the establishment got me shit scared. Opened the door and the smell of cigarettes in the air... U just knew straight away U were in a sleazy joint. Butterflies in the stomach. Like when you take a girl to the movies in high school for the first time and she puts her hand on your thighs...and your whole leg goes jelly!
Anyways was first time with a Jap hottie... Came in like less than 5 mins instant noodles style. She looked surprised then started laughing at me... Saying "is this your first time". I just sheepishly nodded... She heard one of her friends voice outside the room and opened the door. Spoke in their language and even she laughed at me. Fuck, I was like...booked for 60 mins and I'm already done in 5 mins... Then her friend left and she said don't worry I will give you a massage. She massaged me back for about 15 mins or so, and then lucky for me, little Johnny was up and ready for round 2. Went for about 20 _25 mins. Some idle chit chat and then I left. Drove home feeling guilty as fuck.... Hit the shower straight away. And here is where it got a bit nerve recking for me. For some strange reason, I just kept scrubbing my self with soap for a very long time. I guess was feeling so very dirty after what I had done. But by the end of the week as I had tasted "fresh new young tender meat" was yearning to go back for more.... Never the same girl. Always trying a different girl, different nationality, different establisents. Busy season at work meant lots of overtime so had extra money on the side to burn... Soon it had become more of an adventure then fear and guilt.... Well, hope this helps....