Exactly what I've been saying in the past. Style of writing and even style of thinking, are all not conducive to a male punter. Or maybe just a kid, lol!
"When it expands it will fit like a glove"... Makes you think he/she/it has never used one before, hey? Like the fact that you need to be hard... IE already "expanded"... Before you can properly put it on.
Anyway, he's pretty harmless in my view.