Thankyou to all those who responded. I have made the decision to take a full month off punting. Unfortunately Uptome OS stints are not an option due to commitments here.
Apologies to all for my overzealous negativity at times. I am fortunate to be in a very good position with a loving partner, being financially secure and having pretty good health.
I think I need to realize "you can't have it all" so be grateful for what you do have or what you once had.
4FoW2