I like the idea of a 2 Hour Emperor's Package:

1.Shower with BBBJ
2.Proper Massage with back walking, etc
3.Hot towel treatment
4.Bodyslide with rimming
5.BBBJ
6.Full service
7.Warm down massage
8.Facial (not that sort of facial you dirty bastards)

Oh, and the chicks need to be no larger than size 8 (size 6 and under is preferred).

Am I asking for too much?