Well, at least that's what I think it's called. White building, in a small arcade just down from The Unhappy Herb.

I went in here and tried something different. I said I was looking for the best massage in Queensland. Two very young looking MLs came out. One looked too young, but I find it difficult to tell these days. If they look anything like kids - and to me that's anything remotely underage - I run for the hills. Neither do I find it attractive. I really hope nobody on this site condones any of that shit either. Anyway, enough of the sermon.

So, one of the girls whispers to the other: "The best special in Queensland." Admired the confidence!

I said I'd be right back after I grabbed some money, hoping I could get the HAB in her mid-20s. When I return, seems another brother had beaten me to it. Just a sour-faced large-ish by Asian standards ML who ushered me in the front room. Couldn't really abort twice. That would have been rude, right?

Nuded up, towel went on, and half-arsed massage began. On the flip, had half a chub which she, still without a smile, pointed at and said: "You want?" Well, I'm not overly demanding, and neither am I hard to get over the line, but even I can find the courage to shake the head under those circumstances. Hardly the best special in Qld.

This place also has a weird pricing structure. The official price list has $90 types of massage - all the normal hot stone, remedial etc, which is steep. On the back wall, there's a small sign with the "relaxation" prices, the normal $60 for an hour. I don't mind paying for good service, but I don't really like being ripped off, and that seemed the intention.

Bottom line: I paid for half an hour and moved on to a surer thing.

Would I return? I'm sure my timing was out a little, so I probably should give it another go at some point. Maybe other brothers have had better experiences.