Reply With QuoteHave you try the opposite sex you whether you got turn on or not? May be you are not aware of your inner self.
Hello Brothers. This is partially a vent and partially a call for help. As the title states, I've recently started trying to see ML and WL but I haven't had a "successful" time
Me:
So to firstly to give some context on myself. I'm a young healthy guy mid-late 20s but most people say I look younger (early 20s) likely because I'm relatively short and my skin is pretty good probably due to not being out in the sun very much. People often say I look Korean including Koreans and other Asians but I'm something else. I was born and grew up in Australia however so I can only pretty much speak English. Not overweight, light athletic build, don't currently do much sports though but never had issues with weight or fitness. Was somewhat popular with girls in high school but I think once it became clear I was always going to be shorter than the other guys I think interest dropped off a bit but that's my own feeling; I'm 172cm (5'6'') but most of my mates are >180cm (>6ft). I'd give myself a 7/10 but that's my own not particularly informed hetro opinion. Also definitely an introverted and reserved person. Anyway, I'm not here to sell myself just give a bit more context.
Failing Dating:
I've never had a girlfriend. I think I've definitely had some opportunities with mutually interested girls but didn't go through with them at the time and now those girls are long gone. If you'd ask me my reasons were extremely overbearing mother, a desire to put studies and career first, and if I'm being honest I was scared of getting into a relationship and making myself emotionally vulnerable. Not that I didn't want a girlfriend but maybe I kept making excuses for myself.
After high school I went to a study and a career path with near zero females. I'm talking >95% sausage fest in my experience. So pretty much no "organic" interaction, certainly not much choice and very much a "competitive" market. I did sports which was an alright way so get "organic" interactions but more recently due to a pretty intense working life (>50hrs/wk) I find I'm lacking the energy or the time to commit to sports. I'm the type to completely throw myself at things and get competitive, only being able to play sports casually is a bit depressing so I'm just not playing at all now. Also for work, I've moved to a different city (Sydney) where I know pretty much no one and don't have any real social circle. I have one good friend from high school but he's tied up with a missus so not much socialising there unless I just wanna third wheel all day.
Being that I can't get much exposure to girls "naturally", I've tried turning to dating apps as a way to meet girls and try get dates. As you might expect, I haven't had any success despite trying on and off for >6 months and (on-off for years before). I do get matches but it usually ends up no response, getting ghosted or to be honest I ghost them or otherwise can't really carry on the conversation. I am yet to have any in-person meeting as a result of dating app matches. So far I've tried Tinder, Bumble, Coffee meets Bagel and Boo (probably the most useless one for trying to meet people physically). I have noticed that pretty much 100% of my matches are (east) Asian girls of some sort.
Masturbating (too much?)
So I don't think I have "impotence" issues. Likely to be honest, if anything I might have problems with masturbating too much. I'd consider myself a healthy young guy so I get itches despite never having a girl friend, perhaps more so than average? Since I started in my pre-teens I've wanked nearly everyday (circumstances permitting) often multiple times a day and sometime multiple times in a row (but with a few days break after). I've never had issues reaching success or maintaining an erection even for >1hr (recent record is >3hr) with my hand and some video material or even just my own imagination. So my lack of performance (or enjoyment) when seeing WLs or MLs was been surprising to me. I thought I've have trouble keeping it in the full time not have trouble keeping it up.
In the interest of being open and honest in the hope of getting open and honest advice, I'll confess. Most of what I wank to is Hentai (Japanese Pornographic Cartoons). Not that I don't find real women appealing at all but I just have a much easier time finding good quality material that at least I enjoy in the form of Hentai rather than AVs. I note I generally find JAVs more simulating then "mainstream" content despite the censorship. I also use onaholes (fleshlights) more recently. This could potentially be contributing to my issues I guess?
Have been on SSRIs before, that made it hard to wank but been off for years and again, not trouble when it comes to just wanking.
Getting "Professional" Help:
So getting to the present day: no GF, still virgin, and not wanting to waste my remaining "youth". No success trying to get with a girl let alone land a date. I can't remember what triggered it but I realised Sydney is one of the few places where professional help is not only legal but apparently of relatively good quality. I also for the first some had a decent amount of spare cash (and no GF or other hobbies to spend it on) so I decided to pull the trigger. I spent the past month lurking on these forums, learning, researching and trying to find a good place for my first time. Maybe a bit idealistic or misguided but I thought I could have a better experience and a cleaner experience if it was an Asians only girl (why not? feels more exclusive too but none of them have been Asian only AFAIK so far) and if it was private apartment rather than a bordello on the street e.g. Ginza.
So I contacted two agencies and booked a girl on the weekend and went to the apartment. I stumbled through the process a bit and did the thing but I found the experience surprisingly... not pleasurable. Ended up running out of time and leaving without finishing. Needless to say, a pretty disappointing experience.
I tried again, this time with a well regarded RnT. Girl was recommended by mamasan for top quality massage. Again, the whole ordeal was fairly un pleasurable and not particularly erotic feeling, despite receiving some special treatment from the girl that isn't normally offered. I remember another user here mentioning they always had to finish themselves by hand and another reply it was likely "death grip syndrome" from wanking too much too hard so I think that's the mostly likely issue right now.
Both times I felt like it was a bit lacking physical stimulation and both times when I asked them to do it harder they were surprised to was too much and would hurt me.
I might make some detailed posts later on both experiences as well as any subsequent experiences but not as reviews naming people since I feel it might be bad press due a problem that is maybe more my own fault than the girl's.
Remedy Plan
So "death grip syndrome" seems to fit what I'm experiencing. Could also a variety of other issues though: stress, nervousness, anxiety or depression. I plan to try abstaining for at least 2 weeks then give it another go and post my results.
If you actually read all that then thanks for listening to my sook story. Would welcome any similar experiences, advice, recommendations or pity. Cheers.
TL;DR
Can't seem to enjoy the services of a WL or ML. Probably wank too much too hard. Advice and recommendations appreciated.
Have you try the opposite sex you whether you got turn on or not? May be you are not aware of your inner self.
A few things. A lot of it comes down to nerves. If you're a virgin then for the most part you're nervous. You either can't get it up or can't cum. If you can't cum then I would suggest not masturbating for a week or two. The sensitivity will eventually return.
You could also be nervous. I mean you have to be aroused to cum. If you're pounding away and thinking about tax returns then no amount of pounding will get you to cum.
Change your mindset understand that it's a service. You don't have to be a Chad in bed with these girls. In fact all those ARs where the dude said they made the girl cum. It's probably not so.
I have a similar situation with you.
I tried a couple of place and they didn't finished me until recently.
An ML finally finished me for the first time. Try darlinghurst massage for Ella.
Good luck.
I've been there as well bro. Agree like bro Meng said, avoid masturbation and porn for week or two, it will help reset your sensitivity.
Don't thinking about can't cum when have sex, just think about the moment.
If you could not finish 1 hour. Try 2 hours, with a girl that has good recommendation from brothers here. The one that has more GFE service but wild and horny. Sometime if you not feel connection with the girl, it make you hard to cum as well. And you need the one that horny as well to keep up with your condition.
Tell the girl to go easy with lube, this one important. Some wls use too much lube, and when finally the friction make them wet, it will be to much and you cannot feel the sensation.
It might be not a instant fix, but keep "training" (punting lol), and soon or later you will find yourself more relax, and enjoy the session, and you can cum within 1 hour.
Hope this tips can help you
Hey mate, you should get professional help, not just "professional" help.
I'm older than you and have a very similar history. I had issues even getting hard with real women. What arouses you and makes you cum has been informed by porn, and ingrained with every repetition. Porn does not mimic reality. Expecting a WL to meet the standard of a 2D girl is pointless.
Also, popping your punting cherry is usually an awkward/uncomfortable experience as far as I know.
When you can, send me a PM and I can give you some suggestions.
I also think you have some self esteem issues. Height is usually never the factor when it comes to dating. Yes there may be girls that prefer taller guys but certainly not all. Personality for the most part matters more. Also confidence. I have some mates shorter than you and they're able to pull the hottest ABGs I've seen.Originally Posted by gimmesome
Also you gotta up your dating app game. Girl's attention spans are short. Hit the gym more, get fit and make over yourself. You need self love before searching for love externally.
Truer words were never spoken.
Mate reduce wanking and focus on your self as opposed to the girl especially with ML WL”s You don’t need to perform for them they need to perform for you, you are the one that is paying, take the pressure off.
Hmmm, same writing style , "creative", as another person who started off as a poor bi-sexual looking for love, just an observation......All BS
Try an older wl. Less pressure and more experience
Dude… whatever you do don’t ever get into a game of soggy sao.
To reduce your wanking grip, invest in fleshlights or similar. Some are pretty good and will help your sensitivity to go back to normal.
Bro, it’s most likely you’re nervous even if you don’t feel so. First time having sex and first time visiting a ML or WL you are bound to be nervous and that kills your cock.
I would abstain from wanking for a while as you have already mentioned. Find a ML you like and go back to her multiple times, you will feel less nervous as you get to know her. Talk and flirt with her too, have fun with her.
I say ML as I think will be much less pressure than a WL. Later on you can try a WL once you get over the initial nervous phase.
See if that works for you.
OP, do you remember your "mindset" when you were in those sessions with the WL and the ML? Did you feel aroused by them, feel the need to fuck them, or did you feel like "I'm paying for this, here I am, finish me"?
From my experience, what with you being a virgin and all, you will really need to feel aroused and attracted to the girl to be able to enjoy sex as you start out in your sex life.
Just ascertain what kind of girl you like physically and go for those attributes only. The aim is to get yourself physically in the mood, through physical attraction alone.
Forget about service levels, you can play with that as you get more experienced.
Just live in the moment, don't stress about cumming. Just enjoy how the moment feels to you. If it isn't feeling right for you, try something different that you think might feel better or turn you on. You're young and have plenty of time to experience it all. You'll be fine. Try all ages for ML partners and get a feel for what suits you. Some have a better client relationship than others so don't go putting pressure on yourself. Mind you some ML's get treated like shit so if you treat the lady right she'll appreciate you more
Thanks a lot brothers, for the words of wisdom and encouragement, it's really appreciated.
There seem to be some repeated points so I might not respond individually to every reply but I am reading it all.
Haha, not 100% sure what you're saying but I've experimented and I'm pretty sure I'm a lover of pussy. Not that there's anything wrong with people that do but I don't feel anything from traps or trannies let alone men-men but I do have a thing for tomboys...Have you try the opposite sex you whether you got turn on or not? May be you are not aware of your inner self.
Getting Sensitivity Back
A lot of people have mentioned easing up on the wanking should help. I'll definitely try my best to give myself a reset before going for the next punt. Hopefully work is enough to distract me and my unsated horniness doesn't distract my work lol.
Nerves
A few people have mentioned nervousness is likely a factor. As much as I don't think I felt nervous it perhaps did play a role. If nothing else I was surprised by the lack of excitement of any kind be it nerves or horniness. If anything, I felt a sense of boredom and indifference. I've often found myself a lot calmer than others in situations that tend of make people nervous e.g. big matches, exams, public speaking and other big moments but maybe just that's my own sort of "nervousness", if nothing else it at least helps the people around me calm down a bit.
As people have said, hopefully with a bit more experience I can be more relaxed and "into it" then I can have a punt to remember.
Getting serviced
Thanks for the advice and words of wisdom Meng. I think you're right. I definitely went in with a fantasy that I could maybe be Chad and have an experience with mutual enthusiasm; who doesn't want to feel like a Chad right? Towards the mid to end of both sessions so far I felt like I was the least enthusiastic one though lol.
In retrospect, I might have a had a better time if I just took it easy and let the lady do her service.
Congrats to you and good to hear from someone with a similar issue Eibwen. Thanks for the rec too, I'll add it to the hit list.
Thanks for sympathy and advice PKING. I'll remember the tip with the lube though neither ladies have seemed to try using much it so far.
Cheers FatStache. Not 100% sure what sort of professional help you're referring to, suggesting I should try see a GP or a specialist of some sort?
Aye. Well said. Here I am now making an effort to stop myself slipping any further down the 2D hole.
Thanks again Meng. Well noted.
Ha, not sure why someone would want to BS about their inability to cum. I'm guess this is referring to some previous incident on this forum that I haven't been here long enough to have seen (anyone want to be bothered enlightening me?). I just want vent a bit and hopefully anyone else with similar issues gets some peace too.
I might consider it (and I've sort of tried it). I think I'd appreciate the extra excitement from fucking a hot young bod though lol
Hahaha, good one. I had to look that one up. I remember some of the boys (maybe the majority even) in school doing cum cookies with each other and that wasn't even a punishment for anything, they were just doing it for the clout of having done it lmao. No idea what the logic was there, I decided I'd rather be uncool lol.
Thanks for the advice BlackToad. I've similarly been thinking it might be better to get some experience in with MLs first.
Thanks for the sage advice GoldfishMan. I'll be sure to detail my mindset in my recounts. I'd say I went in with the hope I would have a good hot time, get off like never before and have something nice to remember and fantasise about. Once there I guess I wanted to feel like "I need to fuck this girl" but it turned into more "I'm feeling pretty bored and this feels like more of a chore than a hot experience".
I can feel what you mean. Any tips on finding something that you like what with roster photos often not showing the full picture or otherwise being doctored? See if I can get a house to give me a line up? Thanks again for the advice.
Thanks for the advice and encouragement Beo Beatha. I guess I'm still trying find what it is that I like.
All of the above is great advice, but i'll give you something to put in the back pocket to consider if all fails. Literally.
Try a prostate massage and see if that will get you to climax, its a different sensation and orgasm type all together in my experience.
There are a few MLs who can do it quite good as well.
This will be a recount of my disappointing first punt. I'll be trying to avoid identifiable info, not really meant to be an AR, more of a journal. (Feel free to PM if you'd like to exchange some info though.)
1st Punt, Korean Model WL
This is the very recent story of my first punt and first time with something other than my hand or a chunk of plastic.
Prologue
As explained in my OP, I'd been lurking and doing my research for over a month and finally had a relatively free weekend coming. I decided this was an opportunity and I wanted to seize it rather than wait for my next chance who knows when. As explained before, I was looking more towards agencies rather than a bordello, my reasoning being that going to a private apartment felt more exciting and exclusive than somewhere public that sees a lot more traffic. Actual privates seemed a bit too risky, particularly with my lack of experience. I looked for Asian girls (and agencies) since in my own experience (mostly looking at girls on dating apps) I generally found Asian (or especially mixed girls) more attractive so better chance of liking what I got even in the event she wasn't as expected, plus I always seemed to get more interest in return. I also pass the dreaded "Asians Only" restriction (hooray!) so low risk of facing rejection which seems to be a thing with a few of the higher end Asian agencies?
I'd added the contacts of some agencies with girls I had interest in for some time but hadn't contacted them yet. That Friday night I messaged agency 1 for the first time. Said hello, said that I'm interested in getting something booked for tomorrow and got directed to website roster. I got told the main girl I'm interested in is on break (despite being on the roster). A bit of communication difficulty trying to ask about some other girls on the roster. This agency was not looking too great I message agency 2 but get a response saying they're done for the day. So I give up on trying to make further arrangements for the night.
Next day around midday I try messaging both agencies again to see if I can get a booking. Agency 1 not particularly responsive. Agency 2 is better though, unfortunately the girl I was eying had disappeared from the roster; I presume due to being booked out or having stopped (probably could have asked but didn't). So instead I settled with another girl from Agency 2 which was available and located relatively close by. Not 100% my type from the pictures but not bad either. I also confirmed this agency had the policy of only 1 shot included: anymore was an extra and only available with a longer session. Not being 100% sure of the girl but also expecting that I would cum early, I decided to go with a shorter session without extras to avoid blowing my cash. Even then it was not particularly cheap (>$350, 40 min). It was a bit late to make a same day booking so I made the booking for tomorrow midday. The agent also confirmed with me this was my first time using such a service.
Footnote, Rude mama/papa-san:
I note that some people have said they had issues with the mamasan/papasan of these agencies and felt a bit of anti-non-Asian sentiment? I contacted them via Line which has my profile pic so they could probably see that I was Asian and I identified myself explicitly to agency 1 but they still came off as a bit rude. However, I don't think the rudeness was intended but more just a language barrier thing plus the mama/papa-san being a bit casual. All the communication was in English and agency 1 seemed to rely on google translate but in both cases I think they were ultimately pretty helpful and patient. I asked a load of basic beginner questions but they answered all my questions and I had some banter with Agency 1's papasan. Again, feels to me more like a lack of English skills, a causal attitude and likely them mimicking the sort of English customers use with them. Ultimately though, just speculation on my part.
The session
Sunday comes, I'm out of bed late and didn't get much sleep the night before. Not so much because I was nervous (I think) but more because my sleep cycle is complete shit. I also fapped the day before twice; as I mentioned before I was more worried ending the session early than not being able to cum at all. Anyway, on the edge of running late, I jump out of bed get dressed and and rush out without eating brunch. I speed walk my way over in 20 min. I manage to arrive on time at the apartment lobby a little sweaty but not exhausted or out of breath. I'm feeling a little tired (from the lack of sleep) and not so much nervous but "driven" with my goal to fuck this girl and have a good time.
So going in, I'm mentally feeling good trying to not get my expectations up too high but looking forward a good fuck; though physically I'm probably not in the ideal state. I open the door to the apartment and see the girl for the first time. She looks pretty good!
7/10 body. Not super slim nor fit but still fairly slim and well shaped. Pretty tall but still shorter than me.
8/10 face. "Pretty" is how I would describe it. Definitely nice and above average but no so amazing as to make me fall in love.
-C cup I'm really more of an ass man but she has some nice boobs, not really experienced enough to make an accurate judgement on boob size but I'd say a smaller C cup? On the smaller side of medium IMO.
6/10 ass. Nothing wrong, but nothing particularly interesting. Good smooth texture, soft but not particularly big.
Mid-late 20s. I felt maybe she's the same age as me or slightly older.
Her English isn't great which made communicating things a bit difficult. She often said words in Korean and sometimes Mandarin, I guess she thought I might understand?
She immediately tries talking to me in Korean which I cannot at all understand but I quickly clear up the confusion and we make a bit of small talk in broken English (I've never really been big on small talk). I hand over the cash and we move to the bed room. I try to get her so sit on the bed with me because I want to feel her body up a bit first which she awkwardly lets me for a little bit but then stops and gets us up, both naked (seeing her naked for the first time was pretty exciting) then takes me to the shower. She gives me some mouth wash then puts me in the shower. She rubs my body with soap and gives me a pretty good soapy reach around which gets me really hard then gets me to rinse off and towel off then wait for her on the bed while she does her own shower. While waiting for her on the bed I went soft. I also note she had a bite mark on one boob and on her waist (??) maybe would explain why she's not too keen being too touchy feely.
When she comes in I want to try have some cuddly foreplay but she gets me to lay down and starts giving me a BBBJ. It feels alright though I can feel her teeth scraping my dick a bit, she seems to use tissues quite a bit to wipe off saliva and pre-cum. To my surprise, it really doesn't feel that simulating, particularly in terms of what I imagined a BBBJ would feel like. It feels kinda good but nothing like it's gonna make me cum, very "soft". So I lie there for maybe 5 minutes getting my dick sucked and really I start feeling kinda bored and not fully hard. Finally she stops and puts a condom on me and asks me "you want me top or bottom?"
I opt for being her being on the bottom in missionary. This is also my first chance to get a better look at her pussy. In my curiosity I have a bit of a play with it, fingering and stroking it a bit. She makes some sounds but I'm not particularly convinced of the authenticity. When it comes time for me to put it in, between stopping the not particularly stimulating BBBJ, putting on the condom, moving into position and getting distracted seeing a real pussy for the first time I've gone soft again so she get's me to lie back done while she give me a BBBJ to get me up again then puts on another condom before getting back into missionary.
I penetrate her and it feels pretty...meh. I'd describe it as sticking my dick in a warm wet towel with a condom on. It really wasn't that stimulating, I'd say bareback into an onahole feels 10x stronger by comparison. I'm pounding her in missionary while she makes small moans which again don't feel particularly real to me but hey I probably have a distorted expectation of reality from all the hentai/porn. Looking at her boobs jiggle, looking at her face, looking where I'm thrusting into her pussy, I don't feel particularly aroused, definitely not the same way I do with porn or even my own imagination. Pumping away for a couple minutes trying to change the pace doesn't really seem to change how I feel at all (also a bit worried about going too hard), not really feeling much emotionally or physically I start feeling the boredom creeping in again. So I ask to change position.
She gets on top and starts riding me. Again, I'm not really feeling much. She tries bouncing on top as well as grinding her hips into me but to me it all feels pretty weak. So I'm just lying there starting to feel a bit bored, thinking of options to get my rocks off better. I think she starts getting tired so gets off my now fairly flaccid dick and tries getting me off in other ways.
Back to hand job, then BBBJ again (teeth still included). None of it really does anything for me. She's starting to seems a bit desperate and confused about why I'm going soft how to get me off. I suggest to her a few things: sucking harder, squeezing harder (hard enough she surprised it isn't hurting me), different techniques but again, even though its bare HJ and BJ it feels kinda meh. We try pussy slide a bit then condom back on again and back to cow girl but it's all still pretty meh. We try doggy style which I thought I would like more being an ass man but still pretty meh. I look at her, I look at us in the mirror, but again I feel pretty meh and start getting bored.
I stop and let me take care of her again. Again she seems to be getting pretty confused and flustered as to why she can't get me off. More HJ and BBBJ but I'm even less excited now than before. I also try having her on top with me thrusting up into her but again it felt pretty meh. I think I would have liked it if I could feel her body pressed against mine while I hugged her and fucked her from underneath but she kept her body arched and away from me. Again, communication was a bit difficult.
I found the most exciting (or at least the most interesting) thing for me was using my hands to play with and explore her pussy lol. She put a condom on my finger and let me finger her while I jerked off. Ultimately though we ran out of time and I didn't cum. She helped me shower again then I got dressed and left. Total time ended up being over an hour, about 40% of the time inside her, 40% BJ and other outercourse, 20% shower and other stuff.
Epilogue:
So leaving the apartment and taking a walk in the park my feelings were mostly disappointment that I didn't achieve my goal of having a mind blowing fuck let alone not even cumming but also surprise that the experience was so boring? unstimulating?
I informed mama/papa-san of my experience for which I only blamed myself. They expressed their pity and asked if I had time for another punt that day and recommended some other girls with top notch service reviews and a discounted price. I was feeling like I needed some time to reflect and didn't want to go emptying out my wallet before I figured out what the problem was and how to solve it (I might see if I can still take up that discount offer at the later time though). I also felt a bit guilty that her lack of success with me might damage her self-confidence and her standing with mama/papa-san despite it not really being her fault but at the same time watching her desperately trying to get me off without success tickled a bit of a sadistic thread in me.
Reflecting on it, I came to some of the conclusions already mentioned here. Probably over stimulated, I had wanked twice the day before after all. I was probably tired and stressed from work and lack of sleep so I should take better care of myself before my next time. Things probably could have gone smoother if I just let her completely take the lead; particularly considering my inexperience. I probably would be better off getting some experience with MLs first which would be more of a passive experience and also do much cheaper.
I didn't mention it above but while I was fucking her, staring at her body and trying to get myself aroused, the memory of my mum popped into my head a bit. That really cratered my libido but I mostly managed to push it out and continue. On reflection, that made me think I might have a better time with a non-Asian girl so I can avoid those obtrusive thoughts lol.
So after wanking that night (successfully, confirming the plumping still worked) I decided I'll abstain for a bit until I could get a booking with a ML and see what that experience is like... TBC
Again thanks for reading my yarn. I would greatly appreciate any tips, advice or just perspective from a more experienced punter on how it sounded like.
TL;DR
Girl seemed pretty good but I probably wasn't in a great physical state. Tried some different things but nothing really worked for me. My main feelings in the bedroom were a lack of stimulation/arousal and boredom.
A couple of things you could’ve done better there, bro OP. For one thing, quit with the wanking for a while especially at least 2 days before the punt. Be the king of your castle, stay thy hand. Think of your dick like it’s a hungry Python. Once you’ve fed it, it’ll go to sleep. Simple no?
Secondly, you were ogling at one girl, found out that she was off, then made an on-the-fly decision to pick another as a replacement. No bro, that’s a recipe for disaster. Even if the girl was hot, at the back of your mind you’ll be kicking yourself for missing out on the other girl. You will be moping about “this is not my choice!”. Do not force yourself to pick another, go back to the drawing board if you have to. It’ll only add to your orgasm when you have it.
Posting Permissions
|
|
|
|