Another stupid falling for a girl story - advice?

[begov94]

The reason why we catch feelings for others - IT IS OUR TRUE NATURE TO LOVE OTHERS. That is the essence of compassion.

Your "emotional damage" is coming from excess jealousy. It's a mental obscuration that causes all sorts of mental ailments in society.

If you're REALLY into the sex you won't even be talking about catching feels. I know many narcissists out there who readily dump women as soon as they're done with her body.

If you're catching feels for her you need to bring out the courage to talk to her. Ask her if she thinks of you the same way. She may not be direct about her feelings (as many Japanese do) but she will give you hints. If she's not into you she'll keep apologizing while rejecting you softly. The only way to release yourself from the burden of catching feels is rejection - once rejected you will feel the burden leaving you.

True love is fearlessness. If a person is too scared to ask a girl out then it is just lust. Even a liar who lie to women to get regular sex have some fear in him - the fear that he would be lonely forever. In my current state I don't fear loneliness but I do want M to come back into my life. My fearlessness is based on my wishes to see her grow old with me, being constantly showered with affection.

If I was lusting for M, I wouldn't have created new accounts every time I got banned. I could've given up on her and try another new girl in the industry. With all my exes they weren't easy as well - they put me through hell just to see how far am I willing to fight for their heart. But this time M is far different from all my exes or any girls I've met - she has the motherly qualities I've been looking for my whole life.

[HamishAM]

The reason why we catch feelings for others - IT IS OUR TRUE NATURE TO LOVE OTHERS. That is the essence of compassion.

Your "emotional damage" is coming from excess jealousy. It's a mental obscuration that causes all sorts of mental ailments in society.

If you're REALLY into the sex you won't even be talking about catching feels. I know many narcissists out there who readily dump women as soon as they're done with her body.

If you're catching feels for her you need to bring out the courage to talk to her. Ask her if she thinks of you the same way. She may not be direct about her feelings (as many Japanese do) but she will give you hints. If she's not into you she'll keep apologizing while rejecting you softly. The only way to release yourself from the burden of catching feels is rejection - once rejected you will feel the burden leaving you.

True love is fearlessness. If a person is too scared to ask a girl out then it is just lust. Even a liar who lie to women to get regular sex have some fear in him - the fear that he would be lonely forever. In my current state I don't fear loneliness but I do want M to come back into my life. My fearlessness is based on my wishes to see her grow old with me, being constantly showered with affection.

If I was lusting for M, I wouldn't have created new accounts every time I got banned. I could've given up on her and try another new girl in the industry. With all my exes they weren't easy as well - they put me through hell just to see how far am I willing to fight for their heart. But this time M is far different from all my exes or any girls I've met - she has the motherly qualities I've been looking for my whole life.

Yeah to your point bolded, I did ask her. I said pretty bluntly that I have feelings for her. That I want to get to know her more and spend more time. She said she doesn't do good in relationships and doesn't want anything serious. Im the same I dont want to be her boyfriend. When I asked her how she felt she said she likes me and likes seeing me, but once i said if i stop paying her she didn't respond much and looked distressed when i was asking her if she wants to continue seeing me. She definitely needs the money and has been relying on me (and maybe others?) significantly.

[keebab]

Easiest way I know for a WL to fall in love with you is to cut off the money supply. They'll develop feelings again really quick.

[Double_Adapter]

Easiest way I know for a WL to fall in love with you is to cut off the money supply. They'll develop feelings again really quick.

Sounds to me like she has stronger feelings for the ATM than the OP.

[Aussieguyinsf]

Sent private message to you mate.

[JSteel96]

Yes absolutely if the atm stops dishing out 100 dollar bills the feelings will soon stop lol Maybe you should join eharmony and look for a real girlfriend that you don't have to pay, a Japanese one. There must be plenty around Sydney.

[Massagecreep]

Having great sex with a hot young thing repeatedly (paid or not) will create feelings. First anticipation, then missing her etc.
Had a very similar situation, had to stop as she was in my head and she is not someone it made sense to have a relationship with.

[GoldfishMan]

Lol, all these "I fell in love with XXX" threads ought to be sub-categorized as some sort of "recovery room" for punting/whoring/SBing, basically any type of paid sex. It feels like you guys are getting burnt out by too much of the good physical action, you're needing some sort of mental or psychological angle to it too.

I can understand how you would crave having a girl be your GF. The feeling of having someone new in your life is maddeningly exciting, arousing, makes you look forward to the next day in great earnest.

But on the other hand, I've been on this rodeo enough times to know that that fresh exciting feeling you're getting is short and fleeting. You will eventually have to confront the nature of both the girl and how you met her.

I'm not trying to tell you not to go for it. It'll probably be very enjoyable for you even if it doesn't last very long. You still get that kick out of it. You just have to be prepared for that day when you have to confront it all. Think you can handle it?

[begov94]

Yeah to your point bolded, I did ask her. I said pretty bluntly that I have feelings for her. That I want to get to know her more and spend more time. She said she doesn't do good in relationships and doesn't want anything serious. Im the same I dont want to be her boyfriend. When I asked her how she felt she said she likes me and likes seeing me, but once i said if i stop paying her she didn't respond much and looked distressed when i was asking her if she wants to continue seeing me. She definitely needs the money and has been relying on me (and maybe others?) significantly.

An "ah-ha" moment for me right there.

Reminds me of my first trip to Japan years ago. Met this cute girl tending the reception at the hostel I was staying in Tokyo. We chat a lot because she had very good English. As I was about to head back to my room for the night she kept on waving at me the same way some J WLs would wave at you until you're out the door.

After I came back to Sydney I found her social media profile. I asked her permission to be in contact with her, she agreed. Every time I sent her messages she'd take ages to reply, claiming she's not good with texts. I confessed my feelings for her, she didn't reply back. After a while I told her I'm giving up wooing her and she immediately blocked me. I thought to myself, how strange. Normally if a girl didn't like me the same way she would've ignored the message and there won't be any further communications.

This reminds me of your bolded serious situation that the girl claimed not wanting to have any of. These girls don't normally say their mind out directly. Keeping you at arm's length indicates one thing in my several past experiences - they like you but not infatuated with you, yet. They want to see what you're built of. The four other guys she claims to be having sex with for free could be a ruse to judge how much you really want to be with her. In Japan, not many men are good at conveying their feelings for a girl and they get tired of being flaked easily, hence the dwindling birth rates and the government using the sex industry and lewd animes to hopefully bring out the desire for its population to increase birth rates.

In my culture, we're not afraid to woo a girl. Our girls are the same like the Japanese - they're taught by their mothers not to be too easy like Westerners. Myself I had no real father figure to teach me all this as my dad told me once, "Figure it out yourself!", only because his money did all the wooing for him, so I'm left in the dark until I started having the courage to talk to as many girls as I can.

That girl is sussing you out. But be careful with how much money she demands out of you each time. I had a cute J ML once who only does part 2, she made me chase her by demanding that I see her 4 times a week. $120 per session, that's pretty much $480 weekly. When I told her I had enough she wanted to beg me to stay - I could tell she sees potential in me but her greed was way overboard. She was already close to 50yo at the time but still look 30. I made my decision leaving her only because she has no intention of getting married, plus she would've already experienced menopause. I wouldn't mind if I was at similar age with her and also not wanting kids.

[Massagecreep]

Goldfish man is right. You can control it. Make sure your big head logically, rationally and unemotionally decides where your little head goes

[begov94]

Banter, keeping guys at arm's length, encouraging them to see her even when there's no promise of a relationship - I've been there MANY times, I know what it means. It's like a trend with girls in their 20s these days.

[HamishAM]

An "ah-ha" moment for me right there.

Reminds me of my first trip to Japan years ago. Met this cute girl tending the reception at the hostel I was staying in Tokyo. We chat a lot because she had very good English. As I was about to head back to my room for the night she kept on waving at me the same way some J WLs would wave at you until you're out the door.

After I came back to Sydney I found her social media profile. I asked her permission to be in contact with her, she agreed. Every time I sent her messages she'd take ages to reply, claiming she's not good with texts. I confessed my feelings for her, she didn't reply back. After a while I told her I'm giving up wooing her and she immediately blocked me. I thought to myself, how strange. Normally if a girl didn't like me the same way she would've ignored the message and there won't be any further communications.

This reminds me of your bolded serious situation that the girl claimed not wanting to have any of. These girls don't normally say their mind out directly. Keeping you at arm's length indicates one thing in my several past experiences - they like you but not infatuated with you, yet. They want to see what you're built of. The four other guys she claims to be having sex with for free could be a ruse to judge how much you really want to be with her. In Japan, not many men are good at conveying their feelings for a girl and they get tired of being flaked easily, hence the dwindling birth rates and the government using the sex industry and lewd animes to hopefully bring out the desire for its population to increase birth rates.

In my culture, we're not afraid to woo a girl. Our girls are the same like the Japanese - they're taught by their mothers not to be too easy like Westerners. Myself I had no real father figure to teach me all this as my dad told me once, "Figure it out yourself!", only because his money did all the wooing for him, so I'm left in the dark until I started having the courage to talk to as many girls as I can.

That girl is sussing you out. But be careful with how much money she demands out of you each time. I had a cute J ML once who only does part 2, she made me chase her by demanding that I see her 4 times a week. $120 per session, that's pretty much $480 weekly. When I told her I had enough she wanted to beg me to stay - I could tell she sees potential in me but her greed was way overboard. She was already close to 50yo at the time but still look 30. I made my decision leaving her only because she has no intention of getting married, plus she would've already experienced menopause. I wouldn't mind if I was at similar age with her and also not wanting kids.

Appreciate your story mate. It's interesting to hear your point regarding the other guys and seeing if's a test. Not sure if it is but it's hard to tell.

Banter, keeping guys at arm's length, encouraging them to see her even when there's no promise of a relationship - I've been there MANY times, I know what it means. It's like a trend with girls in their 20s these days.

Yeah it must be a generational thing? I must be getting old lol.

Lol, all these "I fell in love with XXX" threads ought to be sub-categorized as some sort of "recovery room" for punting/whoring/SBing, basically any type of paid sex. It feels like you guys are getting burnt out by too much of the good physical action, you're needing some sort of mental or psychological angle to it too.

I can understand how you would crave having a girl be your GF. The feeling of having someone new in your life is maddeningly exciting, arousing, makes you look forward to the next day in great earnest.

But on the other hand, I've been on this rodeo enough times to know that that fresh exciting feeling you're getting is short and fleeting. You will eventually have to confront the nature of both the girl and how you met her.

I'm not trying to tell you not to go for it. It'll probably be very enjoyable for you even if it doesn't last very long. You still get that kick out of it. You just have to be prepared for that day when you have to confront it all. Think you can handle it?

Yeah, I want it to last until I get it out of my system. I just want to minimise the feels abit.

[rooter]

Good clear logical sensible pain avoidance advice Rooter..
Pay Fuck Leave ...

99% of the time you follow it and then once in a while that 1%er comes along to challenge you ..

Ever fallen off the Pay Fuck Leave wagon Rooter?

Nah never bro. But I am probably an outlier.
I switch on, I give it 110%, I have a fantastic passionate intimate time with a girl, I am totally in the moment with her, she is my universe for that brief hour, and then I just switch off go home and totally forget the girl.
I guess I have the same mindset as the very best WLs in that sense.
But yeah, I can appreciate that most guys don't function like that. I am probably borderline psychopathic when it comes to sex
I am not saying that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's just the way I am.
Pay Fuck Leave. That's always been my motto. It works for me but I can appreciate its not for everyone.
Enjoy your punting bros, whichever way you do it!
But always remember it's just punting.

[HamishAM]

Nah never bro. But I am probably an outlier.
I switch on, I give it 110%, I have a fantastic passionate intimate time with a girl, I am totally in the moment with her, she is my universe for that brief hour, and then I just switch off go home and totally forget the girl.
I guess I have the same mindset as the very best WLs in that sense.
But yeah, I can appreciate that most guys don't function like that. I am probably borderline psychopathic when it comes to sex
I am not saying that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's just the way I am.
Pay Fuck Leave. That's always been my motto. It works for me but I can appreciate its not for everyone.
Enjoy your punting bros, whichever way you do it!
But always remember it's just punting.

This is a great mindset but you sometimes meet that 1% where it just clicks well. I'm very similar with when I go to the shops to see a ML or WL. Just in that moment thats it, nothing more. With this recent Sugar baby experience though it was closer, more intimate, more time spent together (5-8 hour sessions). It had a different effect. We talked, we vibed, we laughed, we had sex, we watch videos etc. It was just different

[rooter]

This is a great mindset but you sometimes meet that 1% where it just clicks well. I'm very similar with when I go to the shops to see a ML or WL. Just in that moment thats it, nothing more. With this recent Sugar baby experience though it was closer, more intimate, more time spent together (5-8 hour sessions). It had a different effect. We talked, we vibed, we laughed, we had sex, we watch videos etc. It was just different

Snap out of it. LOL!
giphy.jpg

[rooter]

This is a great mindset but you sometimes meet that 1% where it just clicks well. I'm very similar with when I go to the shops to see a ML or WL. Just in that moment thats it, nothing more. With this recent Sugar baby experience though it was closer, more intimate, more time spent together (5-8 hour sessions). It had a different effect. We talked, we vibed, we laughed, we had sex, we watch videos etc. It was just different

https://giphy.com/gifs/cher-moonstru...-ZpnIKAZctPpni

[HamishAM]

https://giphy.com/gifs/cher-moonstru...-ZpnIKAZctPpni

https://giphy.com/gifs/TheSwoon-netf...ayszIoeBC8yiNb

[rooter]

https://giphy.com/gifs/TheSwoon-netf...ayszIoeBC8yiNb

Hahaha! Nice reply bro.
We are clearly very different people and that's cool. All I am saying is follow your heart and your dick and enjoy all the wonders that life brings, but don't get played for a sucker. Don't switch off your brain. Read all the feedback from the collective subconscious of the punting world and then do what you gotta do. I hope it all works out well for you bro. Have a great Xmas and New Year.

[11Bravo]

One word: BAILOUT, before you crash and burn.

[Sibon]

I'm back with another stupid "falling" for a girl story - but this time not with a ML/WL.

I recently ventured into the sugar baby realm and I met this Japanese girl - shes 20, beautiful (literally a 10/10 in my books) and is really interesting. Shes into the clubbing scene and raves but a big weed user.

I have been seeing her for the past 2-3 months and it's been great - besides me catching feels...again. The way she looks at me, the way we kissed, it was like I was making love to her instead of fucking - it felt real? It felt too good.

We talked about our feelings, well mine. She seemed to avoid it a bit and ultimately said she is crap at relationships and wasn't after anything serious (I'm kinda the same). To be honest, I just wanted to spend more time with her and get to know her more. She mentioned she likes me but wants to just keep in the room. She mentioned i'm the only guy paying for her (not sure If I believe that) but she has a few sexual partners. We have been doing it unprotected (another attribution to my feelings) but found out shes been doing it with 3-4 other guys too which kinda drove my head into overdrive.

I find myself watching her Instagram stories constantly and whenever she live streams on TikTok.

Essentially now my feelings are just wrecking my brain and im not sure what to do. I want to keep seeing her because the sex is amazing but the emotional damage is real. Thoughts?

I think your love to her is genuine but misplaced.

You should get a bunch of rose and profess your true feelings to her.