Steven Seagal
07-12-2013, 08:39 PM
Desires
12 Bellevue St.
Surry Hills
G’Day gang,
This is a review of Nana.
Before I get to the review I need ot give you a bit of context so that this review makes sense..
When I was in Year 12 I had a big crush on Julie Hoffman. She was hot. She had long black hair, big breasts and a sultry look about her. I wanted to ask her out and I had two things going for me. First, her parents were conservative Jews and would not let her date anyone who wasn’t Jewish. I am Jewish. Second, the only other Jew in our year was Morris Perky. Morris wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed and was a bit of a dribbler around the gob area. Don’t get me wrong, Morris loved school. He was in year 12 for 3 terms i.e. Kennedy, Johnson and Nixon.
It was a no-brainer for Julie. She agreed to go out with me. Folks it didn’t work from the moment we walked to my Dad’s car outside her house. The conversation was like this:
Julie: You’ve got bad posture.
Seagal: Do I?
Julie: You walk like the Hunchback of Notre Dame or a bum looking for a cigarette butt.
Seagal: Really?
When we got to the restaurant things did not improve. After I got stuck into the main meal the following interaction occurred:
Julie: Did you learn to eat like that at the Yeshiva?
Seagal: I never went to the Yeshiva.
Julie; It shows.
Seagal: What do you mean?
Julie: You hold that knife like Tony Perkins in Psycho when he stabbed Janet Leigh.
Seagal: Give me a break.
Julie: And you’re having trouble cutting that steak because you’re using a butter knife.
Seagal: I just thought the steak was tough.
Folks, you get the point. Things are not always as they seem and the evening was a total right off. Don’t get me wrong, Julie had a happy ending. She married Morris Perky and he now owns three kosher butcher shops. As for me? My station in life reduces me to writing reviews here.
This brings us to NaNa.
NaNa is fairly new to Bellevue. She looks early to mid 30’s, slim, very pretty face, untrimmed pussy A+-B- boobs.
When I arrived here it was a choice between YuYu and NaNa and it was also a real no-brainer. YuYu offers good service, but if they had a beauty contest between my arse and YuYu’s face the judge would say the one with the one eye wins! Plus, YuYu is the local gossip. If you have trouble getting you weenie up or like having your lower lip bitten be prepared to read it on the front page of a tabloid.
When I chose NaNa the look on her face was that I was Dr. Bivalaqua and just told her I was going to give her a hysterectomy and use a butter knife and no anaesthetic to do it with. I felt sure she had received a message from Julie Hoffman about me. The message would be as follows:
“That Seagal is aright royal kike turd! He has never been to the Yeshiva. He picks up butts off the street and eats everything using a butter knife.”
Folks, with NaNa I experienced several new things in punting. I didn’t know it was possible to give a bbj and there was no contact at all between her mouth and my dick. I mean, her head bounced up and down, but I swear I could feel bugger all. Kissing? She had nice lips that were a rough as sandpaper and kissed like she had chronic lockjaw.
NaNa didn’t do any FOAM (fake orgasm and moaning), but every time she did something she exhaled more air in a sigh than Moby Dick did when he blew air out of his blowhole when old Ahab harpooned him. It was all a senseless tragedy for both of us.
In the end, I jerked myself off and felt proud that I was able to do that given the sexless nature of our connubial non-bliss. We didn’t click.
I am sure with the right guy she would be a real firecracker. With me she was a wet mop.
Well, I’ve got to go and eat my kosher steak with my new dollar shop butter knife.
See you again soon.
Until that time friends . . .until that time.
Steven
12 Bellevue St.
Surry Hills
G’Day gang,
This is a review of Nana.
Before I get to the review I need ot give you a bit of context so that this review makes sense..
When I was in Year 12 I had a big crush on Julie Hoffman. She was hot. She had long black hair, big breasts and a sultry look about her. I wanted to ask her out and I had two things going for me. First, her parents were conservative Jews and would not let her date anyone who wasn’t Jewish. I am Jewish. Second, the only other Jew in our year was Morris Perky. Morris wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed and was a bit of a dribbler around the gob area. Don’t get me wrong, Morris loved school. He was in year 12 for 3 terms i.e. Kennedy, Johnson and Nixon.
It was a no-brainer for Julie. She agreed to go out with me. Folks it didn’t work from the moment we walked to my Dad’s car outside her house. The conversation was like this:
Julie: You’ve got bad posture.
Seagal: Do I?
Julie: You walk like the Hunchback of Notre Dame or a bum looking for a cigarette butt.
Seagal: Really?
When we got to the restaurant things did not improve. After I got stuck into the main meal the following interaction occurred:
Julie: Did you learn to eat like that at the Yeshiva?
Seagal: I never went to the Yeshiva.
Julie; It shows.
Seagal: What do you mean?
Julie: You hold that knife like Tony Perkins in Psycho when he stabbed Janet Leigh.
Seagal: Give me a break.
Julie: And you’re having trouble cutting that steak because you’re using a butter knife.
Seagal: I just thought the steak was tough.
Folks, you get the point. Things are not always as they seem and the evening was a total right off. Don’t get me wrong, Julie had a happy ending. She married Morris Perky and he now owns three kosher butcher shops. As for me? My station in life reduces me to writing reviews here.
This brings us to NaNa.
NaNa is fairly new to Bellevue. She looks early to mid 30’s, slim, very pretty face, untrimmed pussy A+-B- boobs.
When I arrived here it was a choice between YuYu and NaNa and it was also a real no-brainer. YuYu offers good service, but if they had a beauty contest between my arse and YuYu’s face the judge would say the one with the one eye wins! Plus, YuYu is the local gossip. If you have trouble getting you weenie up or like having your lower lip bitten be prepared to read it on the front page of a tabloid.
When I chose NaNa the look on her face was that I was Dr. Bivalaqua and just told her I was going to give her a hysterectomy and use a butter knife and no anaesthetic to do it with. I felt sure she had received a message from Julie Hoffman about me. The message would be as follows:
“That Seagal is aright royal kike turd! He has never been to the Yeshiva. He picks up butts off the street and eats everything using a butter knife.”
Folks, with NaNa I experienced several new things in punting. I didn’t know it was possible to give a bbj and there was no contact at all between her mouth and my dick. I mean, her head bounced up and down, but I swear I could feel bugger all. Kissing? She had nice lips that were a rough as sandpaper and kissed like she had chronic lockjaw.
NaNa didn’t do any FOAM (fake orgasm and moaning), but every time she did something she exhaled more air in a sigh than Moby Dick did when he blew air out of his blowhole when old Ahab harpooned him. It was all a senseless tragedy for both of us.
In the end, I jerked myself off and felt proud that I was able to do that given the sexless nature of our connubial non-bliss. We didn’t click.
I am sure with the right guy she would be a real firecracker. With me she was a wet mop.
Well, I’ve got to go and eat my kosher steak with my new dollar shop butter knife.
See you again soon.
Until that time friends . . .until that time.
Steven