Trapped and helpless

Well, I'm going through a divorce right now. I know I'll be so much happier in the future. Right now, it fucking sucks. Before you get out you need to not use a card of any sort for payment for 12 Months. Even if it's supposedly amicable, someone who I thought would be somewhat fair, will try and take you for everything! I'm paying everything for the ex, including mortgage, bills, school fees my rent and bills. I don't have enough for food someday.
Then you'll get the biggest surprise thinking your innocent, nieve ex has been seeing others. No amount of councilling will help you come to terms with how you've been telling them that they need to contribute to the relationship just a little and they do nothing except live their best life while you slug it out.
IT'S NOT FUN.
I may sound like a sour old cunt, because I am. But watch what they turn into when it starts. It's not pretty.

You must be going Bonkers !

Fuck you're funny. Idiot

I post for fun, you post because you’re serious. Now who is the idiot?

Take control of your destiny and do something about it, don’t be a piece of lint in the washing machine of life, getting tossed and turned around, then rinsed of all your money before being flushed out on the waste cycle.

Help yourself because no one else will.

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Originally Posted by Jim_cs

Thanks for the input friends.

Gym - yes and it feels great.
Hobbies - Yeap, helping me keep my mind occupied
Kids - we both would do everything in the world to avoid any emotional harm with what’s going on.
Couples counselling - Yeap, for more than a year. It was good at first but then slowly deteriorates back to the unhappy place.

I can emphatise and feel for anyone going through this. It’s a hard one because I want to keep the peace.

It’s one thing to invest all our time in the kids which we do. We recognise that our relationship suffers and both realise we need to work on it but nothing changes. It especially hurts when I do see her give more attention to her friends more than our relationship but I think it’s time I realise she’s just not into our relationship anymore. It’s a hard one because she should be happy and maintain her friendships and I want that for her. But it’s especially hard when we have spoken about both our needs and I feel like mine aren’t heard.

I feel like I’m a bad person for wanting sex and intimacy in our relationship. She wants emotional connection which is great, and we have that. But that connection dissolves and I hide away. Kinda feel like a pathetic man and husband when I dont have the connection I need.

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Hi Jim,

On a punters point of view I assume your finances is ok as the two private Latina you were asking before were both $550 per hour.

Did your Mrs used to look like them ? Or she still is. From the way you said you are still very keen at home but getting nothing, I assume she is still desirable ?

If so, I think you need to work on it, you said she gave more attention to her friends but not at home, are there any male friends? You sure she is not having any affairs outside ?

One more point, when you said it’s a sexless relationship now, is it absolutely Zero at home ? Like the last time she let you was 400+ days ago ?

Or you are still get some once a few months ?

And under what circumstances were you successfully? A happy moment like birthdays, anniversaries, Xmas or Valentines Day ? Or when you kids did something or achieved something worth celebrating? If any of the above did or still happens , there might still be hope ?

Otherwise, keeping the status quote and enjoy your punting could be the most economical and “safe” option,

Just my 2 cents.

Good luck mate

Cheers

Ps, you should start posting reviews too, it might even cheer yourself up…….. haha

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Originally Posted by Jim_cs

Hey brothers not sure why I’m writing this, but I think I need an outlet. Long time punter due to being in a sexless relationship. Love my kids but the wife is cold at times and doesn’t provide me with what I need. It’s been years of broken promises that things will change, feeling like our relationship is de prioritised, and countless hours of counselling that just leads to the same issues again.

So I’m stuck in a marriage that I want to keep for the kids, but I punt to keep it purely transactional and don’t want any strings with relationships. From a physical perspective it helps a lot and keeps me sane and the marriage in tact for now.

I do feel like this is a temporary fix until the kids are grown up and I can leave the marriage. This feels like such a horrible way to live life. Thanks for reading.

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I know plenty of guys who have been in exactly the same situation. Though my mates tend to have affairs and not punt which is a riskier way of doing things if your GF on the side wants more.

Counselling gets you nowhere. You cannot have someone telling you how you should run your life and then pay them for that advice! What makes them wiser than you, a degree? Most of them are fucked up anyway, I’d guarantee it.

Just find a hobby that interests you and devote your thoughts to that and not your wife. I’d still be punting though as guys need that.

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Originally Posted by Spanky69

A mistress and a housekeeper is all you need.

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Sounds like a Japanese AV genre, especially when the mistress and the housekeeper are Always naked in your presence and ready to fuck, and also always has natural big tits…….. haha

Is the 4 wives system still legal and happening in the Muslim world ?

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Originally Posted by Jim_cs

At the end of the day, it boils down to this.


Wife asks: emotional connection, trust, friendship.

My response: All perfectly reasonable asks for a healthy marriage which I oblige to.

Husband: physical touch, sex, intimacy.

Wife response: is that all you want from me? Why are you always complaining about that.

That in a nutshell is why it just doesnÂ’t work.

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Hey brother Jim,

You mind sharing a bit more about your financial situation?

Sounds like your family is very well off and your wife never has to worry about cost of living , is she at least once a week visiting the beauty salon kind of housewife ?

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Originally Posted by AHLUNGOR

Sounds like a Japanese AV genre, especially when the mistress and the housekeeper are Always naked in your presence and ready to fuck, and also always has natural big tits…….. haha

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Tits are nice.

Some stats regarding divorce.

ML’s have a 38% divorce rate.


https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-s...20in%20divorce.

The stats don’t look good for most people.

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Originally Posted by B0nkers

Well, I'm going through a divorce right now. I know I'll be so much happier in the future. Right now, it fucking sucks. Before you get out you need to not use a card of any sort for payment for 12 Months. Even if it's supposedly amicable, someone who I thought would be somewhat fair, will try and take you for everything! I'm paying everything for the ex, including mortgage, bills, school fees my rent and bills. I don't have enough for food someday.
Then you'll get the biggest surprise thinking your innocent, nieve ex has been seeing others. No amount of councilling will help you come to terms with how you've been telling them that they need to contribute to the relationship just a little and they do nothing except live their best life while you slug it out.
IT'S NOT FUN.
I may sound like a sour old cunt, because I am. But watch what they turn into when it starts. It's not pretty.

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That's tough mate
What do you mean by " Before you get out you need to not use a card of any sort for payment for 12 Months. "

If your ex keeps the house but you're paying for the mortgage, how does that work when it comes to splitting the asset? Do you still get your name on the house - despite she's living there with the kids?

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Originally Posted by woodland

That's tough mate
What do you mean by " Before you get out you need to not use a card of any sort for payment for 12 Months. "

If your ex keeps the house but you're paying for the mortgage, how does that work when it comes to splitting the asset? Do you still get your name on the house - despite she's living there with the kids?

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I think what he meant was, do not get caught splashing money for your personal entertainment or giving money to a mistress, etc (ie. Any money spent not for the benefit of the family) in the lead up to the divorce.

There have been cases where a husband was successfully accused of knowing that he was going to get a divorce and was actively "plundering" his own finances in the lead up to the divorce. I think in those cases, it would've backfired badly on him because the total wealth split would exclude those monies spent... He ends up having to take them on from his own share of the split.

Most women know exactly how much they can claw off their partner. It’s factored down to a percentage, great isn’t it.

bro jim_cs, your post hits so close to home. I was having this exact argument with my missus tonight. Especially your comment about the false promises. I'm also tired of waiting. There is always a new excuse as to why it never happens.

it stings especially when you complain, they might go 'fine you want it then lets get it over with' and that's not what you wanted. Is it that much to ask for, to re-enact a sweet moment from the past where you couldn't keep your hands off each other? I don't know, i would make an effort if I knew something was important to her. Sorry to hi-jack with my sob story, but basically just wanted to say I feel you brother.

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Originally Posted by L_Kun

bro jim_cs, your post hits so close to home. I was having this exact argument with my missus tonight. Especially your comment about the false promises. I'm also tired of waiting. There is always a new excuse as to why it never happens.

it stings especially when you complain, they might go 'fine you want it then lets get it over with' and that's not what you wanted. Is it that much to ask for, to re-enact a sweet moment from the past where you couldn't keep your hands off each other? I don't know, i would make an effort if I knew something was important to her. Sorry to hi-jack with my sob story, but basically just wanted to say I feel you brother.

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It takes this forum to realise what a widespread issue this really is. For any bloke looking to bail , the wife's greatest ally is the damn Government.

as someone who is approaching the marriage age - im guessing advice from blokes here is to avoid marriage at all costs then?

:shout:

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Originally Posted by kpopcity

as someone who is approaching the marriage age - im guessing advice from blokes here is to avoid marriage at all costs then?

:shout:

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The advice is simple 'caveat empor'.

I'm certain that unicorn marriages do exist but they are few and far between. The advice most blokes will give you is to be extra selective and to vet the chick thoroughly before putting your (small and big) head on the guillotine, as many before you have suffered public beheadings and private castrations.

Use the same vetting techniques you use for WLs when selecting your potential wife. Eg if the WL offers dfk then it's guaranteed she has dfk'd a hundred other blokes. If the WL rims you then it's guaranteed she has rimmed fifty other blokes (all shapes, colours and sizes), and if she offers bareback then it's guaranteed she has been raw dogged by twenty other blokes.

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Originally Posted by Double_Adapter

The advice is simple 'caveat empor'.

I'm certain that unicorn marriages do exist but they are few and far between. The advice most blokes will give you is to be extra selective and to vet the chick thoroughly before putting your (small and big) head on the guillotine, as many before you have suffered public beheadings and private castrations.

Use the same vetting techniques you use for WLs when selecting your potential wife. Eg if the WL offers dfk then it's guaranteed she has dfk'd a hundred other blokes. If the WL rims you then it's guaranteed she has rimmed fifty other blokes (all shapes, colours and sizes), and if she offers bareback then it's guaranteed she has been raw dogged by twenty other blokes.

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Very tempted to keep on living the single life and banging young (and milfs) hotties around Sydney and the world. However, there is a bit of peer pressure as I attend weddings and seeing my mates all getting hitched and have kids.

They always ask why I don't date a girl, settle down and get married (they don't participate in punting themselves) - they cant comprehend it. Unbeknownst to them, I just had my dick sucked and ass rimmed by a hot vietnamese ML.

So yea on the fence for this one :eek:

Curious to know if any bros here were ble to protect themselves in divorce and force a fair mediation