Wish i had read this while in high school
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I'm not sure it's possible as you have no leverage. She knows she has leverage over you so the power dynamic is heavily weighted in her favour. She knows she can get your attention for free so she is never going to pay for it per se. As far as I can see, the only way to proceed is to take the power in the relationship by displaying something she wants. Once you have something she wants, then the power dynamic will shift in your favour. All women want male validation so you can start there. Some guys are really good at doing the giving attention/taking it away thing to get women but at best it's just a short term game that is (in my opinion) very hard to get right. If you want true attraction you need one of or some combination of the big three 1. Power, 2. Money and 3. Looks. This is a good thing because they are all things you can start working on right now!
Yeah I think you're getting it and also if you can weed out the women who are just attention seeking like this your love life will be alot simpler and better.
Women don't think, they feel. The giving and denying attention may confuse their mind to some extent, but the main effect is that it makes them feel a certain way. I can only speculate but I think it has something to do with their perception that the guy acting this way is unpredictable which may imply further that he is edgy or even somewhat dangerous. This seriously makes women wet, if you can make them feel like they don't know what's coming next or if they are in some type of undefined vague type of danger, you have successfully become what our culture calls the 'bad boy' and you will fuck many of them.
Update for those who care:
Yes, I caved. Saw her tonight and conversation going well, then I asked her out after her shift. She basically gave me the "I'm tired" line but tried to keep the conversation going, so I was like "ok, I'll leave you to it" and left.
Sad panda is sad.
Asking her to go out "after work" doesn't seem like a good idea.
Try asking her to have lunch on a day off.
Agree so obvious a bad move - if you want something out of the worplace you have to as much as you can distance that experience from the worplace !! Just common sense
Unfortunately this whole thread indicated bro Millhouse is clueless ..
You only get one decent shot - and he blew it
Suggest to OP to consider whats in it for her. He needs to entice her for something. An outing trip if she likes outdoor, a fancy dinner if she likes to eat out, etc.
Dont be too obvious you just want to go out late at night to fuck her.
I would like to believe this but 1) I think if someone really liked you they would go out with you no matter if it's after work or not, and 2) this was the second time I asked, so if she had really changed her mind about me after the first time she would've been eager to accept.
Guess she was just after attention after all.
Yep, you blew it bro. It was a game of chicken and you blinked. Tough luck, but all is not lost. The fact the game was on in the first place means she was at least slightly attracted to you. Just that you made the wrong moves. You can maintain acquaintance with her for now without expanding too much effort. When you do find a girlfriend in the near future, make sure you bring your gf with you and "accidentally" play at her table. Watch what happens then.
Lol bro this reminded me of something...
A while after I asked her out the first time, I had moved on with other girls. One of these girls was a WL and we went to the casino one time. She was drop dead gorgeous and thr dealer that I like actually saw us together, with her wanting to hold my hand.
So maybe that was it...
two things : persistence and confidence ;)
If you do believe it, that is your downfall. The girl is tired, she has probably had dozens of patrons chatting her up, you are just another one with the same dumb approach. The last thing she wants is to have to be nice to some guy she thinks just wants to bed her after a cup of coffee.
She doesn't want to go with you, so it seems to me she doesn't really like you.
Turning up with obvious WLs just reinforces her opinion of you.
Time to move on.
Well, if they are touting for business, they usually try to make themselves obvious.
The fact that you highlighted your partner as a WL suggested you may have been flaunting that attribute to the girl. Apologies if I misconstrued your intentions.
persistence is key.