Sugar dating

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Originally Posted by BennyB

Hi @clausedd I've been sugar dating for some time. I am married and my wife is no longer interested in sex (new mum). I could go onto Tinder, or pick up girls in a bar, but I prefer this kind of dating as it allows me to keep things at arms length and have the illusion of a hot affair, with clear boundaries in place. I think of it as a step beyond a WL / ML that you see privately. I've tried that in the past and actively avoid it. Invariably you end up becoming someone's ATM and it ends in tears.

At the same time, I am not looking for just one woman to have an arrangement with. I love women and I enjoy variety. You could go down the approach of being with someone exclusively, but then you have to ask yourself what the purpose of the arrangement really is. Are you looking for a GF? If so, it is possible for an arrangement to turn into a relationship, but it is not common.

This leads me to your question on PPM vs. allowance. I've had girls on allowances ($1,000 per month) where, after 5-6 meets I'm convinced I want to see her 3-4 times a month and have a more sensible financial deal. Otherwise I prefer to start with PPM as it de-risks the arrangement on both sides.

As with timing - there are ways to build flexibility into your life and work, if you are prepared to think strategically. I'm married, with kids and work 50 hour weeks as a consultant. I usually punt twice a week in that timeframe (1 SB meet and 1 RNT)

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Since your place is off limits, where do you usually meet? Their place or a hotel?

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Originally Posted by gthgrt

Since your place is off limits, where do you usually meet? Their place or a hotel?

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Hi Gthgrt

A couple of things on this -

I never ever punt close to where I live and I never bring a SB to my home. If I was single, I might do this but only if I was comfortable with the individual over a period of time. It would be the same as inviting any woman back to your house?

The alternatives for me are

1. I have sugar babies I meet up with when I am interstate on business. I am usually in hotels or Airbnbs on those trips anyway

2. I use hotels or Airbnbs - there are lots of options for short stays (not quite the Japanese Love hotel style) on the web and it's pretty easy once you get to know the hotel management. I have one particular hotel I use when I'm in Melbourne on business and I get a room for 4 hours for $50 for example. Airbnbs were really cheap during the past six months as there was no business in city

3. I usually look for Sugarbabes who will, over time, take me back to their place. This is why pre-meets and being the kind of guy she wants to bring home to hers is so important. I'm not looking for a fuck at the back of a shop when its closed (although I can understand there may be a bit of fun in that)

I hope this helps.

Bb

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Originally Posted by GoldfishMan

Nope, I stand by what I said. It's all here:
https://www.unifiedlawyers.com.au/bl...2-38fdb5cd425a

Still there's no denying it's a complete shithouse situation to go through. Better not even be in it if you don't intend to stay in it.

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That is only a vague overview. A good lawyer will shoot holes all through this. Most people like you think it is black and white but family law is very complicated.

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Originally Posted by colin.oscopy

I am in my mid 50s and very well presented as I am a swimmer. Prior to covid I had regular Asian girls girlfriends between 19 and 30 with most of them being overseas students. I guess in a way I was a sugar daddy but money was never exchanged. I was even dating 2 friends who were comfortable with that.

I occasionally dined them and took them to movies and other outings. Occasionally I would assist them with university work such as maths or proof reading. Never once did I pay for anything and infact one of them was rich that she would pay everything including buying me an LV bag.

Most of them have moved on and settled down here or in china but still keep in contact. I have probably dated over 50 students but occasionally I did punt also at times because I did enjoy the idea of pay and go.
Since covid things have been quiet but I have adjusted. Say safe

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Wow thats great feedback. Mate I tried to send you DM but since you are new member the message did not go. I had similar arrangent and experience but that was in South East Asia. I am still in touch with few of them and send them occcasional gifts. Since Covid I have not been able to travel and deprived of the company of young and friendly asian girls. Would you mind sharing how you meet these girls. The seeking arranagement looks inetresting but they do not have many asian girls.

Thanks in advance.

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Originally Posted by Vader

That is only a vague overview. A good lawyer will shoot holes all through this. Most people like you think it is black and white but family law is very complicated.

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You are absolutely correct.
I am currently having a legally binding agreement drawn up that will protect myself and my SB.
My familyaw Sicitor has been very specific in such that the law applies to individual situations and is not just a blanket cover so to speak.
Now our situation, having been SD/SB for 18 months and now looking to go longer term at least for another 2 yrs, and our intentions for her to live with me permanently adds further complexity.
We have also discussed the possibility that this will go from the current arrangement to a more "conventional" relationship and the implications that brings to the table.
In our scenario, I want to protect her as much as protect myself, and in that respect, and the provisions of the Family Law Act I have been advised to update my will as well, especially as my estranged Daughters need to be either included or excluded.
It is a minefield and you need someone experienced and knowledgeable to navigate through the minefield.

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Originally Posted by juscruisin58

You are absolutely correct.
I am currently having a legally binding agreement drawn up that will protect myself and my SB.
My familyaw Sicitor has been very specific in such that the law applies to individual situations and is not just a blanket cover so to speak.
Now our situation, having been SD/SB for 18 months and now looking to go longer term at least for another 2 yrs, and our intentions for her to live with me permanently adds further complexity.
We have also discussed the possibility that this will go from the current arrangement to a more "conventional" relationship and the implications that brings to the table.
In our scenario, I want to protect her as much as protect myself, and in that respect, and the provisions of the Family Law Act I have been advised to update my will as well, especially as my estranged Daughters need to be either included or excluded.
It is a minefield and you need someone experienced and knowledgeable to navigate through the minefield.

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I had a binding financial agreement with my first ex wife.

Be careful, they are not as binding as they are in the US.

In my case the agreement was in her favour and we went to court.

After a large cost to both of us, I won the case and the agreement was broken.

I have no assents in my name. I live in the city and renting, my car is leased. The only thing is my super which is quite high since I made additional contributions in my 20s.

Sent from my GM1910 using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by Johnisfun1969

Wow thats great feedback. Mate I tried to send you DM but since you are new member the message did not go. I had similar arrangent and experience but that was in South East Asia. I am still in touch with few of them and send them occcasional gifts. Since Covid I have not been able to travel and deprived of the company of young and friendly asian girls. Would you mind sharing how you meet these girls. The seeking arranagement looks inetresting but they do not have many asian girls.

Thanks in advance.

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Asiandating.com

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Originally Posted by Vader

That is only a vague overview. A good lawyer will shoot holes all through this. Most people like you think it is black and white but family law is very complicated.

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You’re so weird, Vader. The first phrase in my post yesterday was “It’s not straightforward…”. I even gave a link to a lawyer blog explaining why it’s not as clear cut. Lo and behold you say to me “people like you think it’s black and white”?. W-T-F man…

Guys - if you want to set up a separate legal discussion thread, that's fine. Should we keep this thread to the topic that the OP raised - being how to date Sugarbabes?

I think the initial comments were relevant about being careful of slipping into de facto arrangements, but getting into family law matters is a stretch.

an on off again SB known nmeaxh other since late 2018. Not HD sex for awhile caught up at her asking recently . dinner movie stuff . And I got bored having too listen to why she deserves all this stuff and can she do an arrangement with no sex .. I gently said with me no .. maybe some. Other guy might like your sparkling conversation and be happy to rub suntan lotion on her cute af 20yr old Body …

Told her likely most arrangents will want some gratification .. she then asked if I would help her buy a car … she wanted me to take a 40k loan for her

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Not heard since

Wow... 40K loan to start with..... Definitely a red sign...

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Originally Posted by BennyB

Guys - if you want to set up a separate legal discussion thread, that's fine. Should we keep this thread to the topic that the OP raised - being how to date Sugarbabes?

I think the initial comments were relevant about being careful of slipping into de facto arrangements, but getting into family law matters is a stretch.

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There is no shortage of bandwidth in the thread to exhaust both topics. One doesn't come at the expense of the other. If someone thinks of a new angle or experience specifically on the SB experience, previous comments on related legal implications isn't going to stop them posting it. You are more interested in one subject rather than the other but don't worry about it. :D

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Originally Posted by cumquat

an on off again SB known nmeaxh other since late 2018. Not HD sex for awhile caught up at her asking recently . dinner movie stuff . And I got bored having too listen to why she deserves all this stuff and can she do an arrangement with no sex .. I gently said with me no .. maybe some. Other guy might like your sparkling conversation and be happy to rub suntan lotion on her cute af 20yr old Body …

Told her likely most arrangents will want some gratification .. she then asked if I would help her buy a car … she wanted me to take a 40k loan for her

��������

Not heard since

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That's such a great story. You could reply

"If I wanted to have dinner, moves, dates with no sex and having to buy a $40k car for someone, I would just get married"

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Originally Posted by Ziggurat

There is no shortage of bandwidth in the thread to exhaust both topics. One doesn't come at the expense of the other. If someone thinks of a new angle or experience specifically on the SB experience previous comments on related legal implications isn't going to stop them posting it. You are more interested in one rather than the other but don't worry about it. :D

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I welcome the conversation taking different turns. But when it descends into a shit fight, is it informing anyone?

You are on the wrong forum if you want to avoid seeing shit fights. :shout:

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Originally Posted by Ziggurat

You are on the wrong forum if you want to avoid seeing shit fights. :shout:

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Haha. I'll get the popcorn then :-)

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Originally Posted by cumquat

an on off again SB known nmeaxh other since late 2018. Not HD sex for awhile caught up at her asking recently . dinner movie stuff . And I got bored having too listen to why she deserves all this stuff and can she do an arrangement with no sex .. I gently said with me no .. maybe some. Other guy might like your sparkling conversation and be happy to rub suntan lotion on her cute af 20yr old Body …

Told her likely most arrangents will want some gratification .. she then asked if I would help her buy a car … she wanted me to take a 40k loan for her

��������

Not heard since

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Hahaha.
I would laugh at her face and walk away laughing.

I have seen few girls on seeking arrangement who openly say: I can only give companionship so please don't ask for sex.
One girl even had this on her profile: "Why are guys in here so ugly?"

And a number of girls are in an open relationship, even Asian girls.

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Originally Posted by cumquat

an on off again SB known nmeaxh other since late 2018. Not HD sex for awhile caught up at her asking recently . dinner movie stuff . And I got bored having too listen to why she deserves all this stuff and can she do an arrangement with no sex .. I gently said with me no .. maybe some. Other guy might like your sparkling conversation and be happy to rub suntan lotion on her cute af 20yr old Body …

Told her likely most arrangents will want some gratification .. she then asked if I would help her buy a car … she wanted me to take a 40k loan for her

��������

Not heard since

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Many are accustomed to being spoiled and given the high life that they would never afford in normal jobs. As a result, they have this expectation that it is all normal. Imagine asking a good friend to take out a 40k loan for you? It is unlikely to occur. Some of these girls believe men are dumb or gullible to do favours for them and they are right. How many other guys has she asked favours and got them?

Exploitation is perfectly OK as long as its mutual

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Originally Posted by rooter

Exploitation is perfectly OK as long as its mutual

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Agree. And if you’re clever, you’ll make it so the other party believes they’re exploiting you 😁

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Originally Posted by cuteguy

Many are accustomed to being spoiled and given the high life that they would never afford in normal jobs. As a result, they have this expectation that it is all normal. Imagine asking a good friend to take out a 40k loan for you? It is unlikely to occur. Some of these girls believe men are dumb or gullible to do favours for them and they are right. How many other guys has she asked favours and got them?

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Well I think there are men out there who would just pay anything. I had come across some posts on twitter and instagram where girls as part of BDSM as part of role play get the slave to pay large amounts of money. So I am not surpsied with some girls expectation on SBs site. Then again perception and reality are not always the same. People who have made it big dont go around handing out money willy nilly whereas some young girls may beleive being in their 20s they deserve to be spolit and paid an excecutive salary for their company. I beleive there may be few hot girls that may command this kind of reward but not all girls looking for SD are hot spinners. The site has women in all age brackets. From the reports I have seen online most guys who are in these relationships have ppm arrangement and they dont pay upfront or for the first meet.

I have been tip toeing and some stage willl take a plunge.

If she wants a Gucci handbag the least she can do is release the contents of my balls

Actually from my experiences, if the girl happy to get paid to be our mistresses, it's a good thing as it means money can solve problems. It would be more complicated if she doesn't want money. So if she still accepts our money, players, be happy!

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Originally Posted by Johnisfun1969

Well I think there are men out there who would just pay anything. I had come across some posts on twitter and instagram where girls as part of BDSM as part of role play get the slave to pay large amounts of money. So I am not surpsied with some girls expectation on SBs site. Then again perception and reality are not always the same. People who have made it big dont go around handing out money willy nilly whereas some young girls may beleive being in their 20s they deserve to be spolit and paid an excecutive salary for their company. I beleive there may be few hot girls that may command this kind of reward but not all girls looking for SD are hot spinners. The site has women in all age brackets. From the reports I have seen online most guys who are in these relationships have ppm arrangement and they dont pay upfront or for the first meet.

I have been tip toeing and some stage willl take a plunge.

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John I think a number of your assumptions are reasonable. Expectation gaps do exist, but that is part of the fun of chatting, bantering and negotiating. Skills that most experienced men who like women and their company have.

As a married man I don't get the chance to turn on the seduction much any more and even Esther Perel's advice only goes so far if your wife isn't into it either.

Sugarbabes give me the chance to be that best version of my seductive self again - I just wish I knew at 25 what I know now.

Thankfully there are literally thousands of women on Sugarbabe sites across the capital cities and many are just looking for a normal guy who will treat them right and can be their version of a sexy older man for a few hours a week. They aren't all looking for George Clooney either.

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Originally Posted by BennyB

John I think a number of your assumptions are reasonable. Expectation gaps do exist, but that is part of the fun of chatting, bantering and negotiating. Skills that most experience men who like women and their company have.

As a married man I don't get the chance to turn on the seduction much any more and even Esther Perel's advice only goes so far if your wife isn't into it either.

Sugarbabes give me the chance to be that best version of my seductive self again - I just wish I knew at 25 what I know now.

Thankfully there are literally thousands of women on Sugarbabe sites across the capital cities and many are just looking for a normal guy who will treat them right and can be their version of a sexy older man for a few hours a week. They aren't all looking for George Clooney either.

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Mate, well said 👍