Reply With QuoteCondolences, let me know if you want a hug
Basically you need to find things you enjoy doing and surround yourself with good people.
Have you got deep in depression? How does it feel? Can you feel/acknowledge that you're in depression? Then how can you get over it?
I asked because just last week I got bad news about my very first friend in Sydney that she was depressed and decided to suicide in Bondi on February. I was shocked. Totally shocked. She seemed like a happy but strong woman while I see myself very soft, weak and much emotional than her. She told me that she would focus on studying then try to get PR instead of falling in love which might get her distracted while I was worried more about not having boyfriend. She hanged out and joined outdoor activities while I just worked and worked but refused to have fun. Don't know what lead her to depression then that decision. I wish I could know her tough time/or contact her at that time so I could change somethings. But... Just the day before I got the news, I was happy with my job as it helped me to earn enough money so I could help another friend without deliberated. But with my above friend, I couldn't help her. Money could not fix it.
One client told me that depression is a disease and illness just like a physical one but in the mind then someone don't have the skills to survive.
I don't say people who chose that way to end is selfish. Maybe their pain is so deep that they can't feel or understand that their deaths can hurt others. They don't mean to hurt anyone. But it does hurt the one who loves them. I feel bad sometimes, but I don't want to hurt my family. I know how it hurts when people lost their loves so I don't want to them feel that way with me. That keeps me back. Then I also think that everything, even the worst thing would go away one day, so just be patient, and keep positive attitude. Then I will be survived. But then what if one day, people feel so tired and not want to suffer anymore?
Condolences, let me know if you want a hug
Basically you need to find things you enjoy doing and surround yourself with good people.
Its always best to remember that help is always available.
I used to live in a country city and suffered depression at one time, which was actually picked up by a female friend who took me aside and basically nursed me back to normal over a period of 6 months. Basically recovery is a realisation that others have/are/will suffer just the same and its nothing to be ashamed of << KEY !!!
Even now living in Sydney, I suffer at times, when I feel down, I have a goto place to think things out. Funny enough that place is a long term friend's home, When she's down, she will ring me to come over for a drink. He ex could never understand, we never socialise together, but know enough about each other to help with out criticism.
So simply, if you don't want to go the "professional" route, find a real friend.
It feels okay, it doesn't feel great and its just kind of there.Originally Posted by Babycat
Yes I belive depression is a self inflicted mental issue and some can be aware of it.
You can probably get over it by being more grateful, some people are murdered or killed in an accident or get a illness, despite stI'll wanting to live.
Also there are people in asia/Africa with alot less but are extremely happy. So not comparing yourself to others also helps.
Also don't always belive what you hear, your friend might still be Alive? Maybe they were murdered or someone killed them in an accident?
Babycat please take my advice and see a trained professional for help if you are feeling depressed.
There may be some smart members on here although your best solution and source of information is through your doctor.
The above response is just utter crap in my books from the uneducated on here.
I have been dealing with depression for many years.
Professional help is the only way to deal with depression and to get yourself back into a good frame of mind.
If you would like further info pm me and i will offer any help i can give you.
Another one of my nemesis. Still hope you figure out what you really want in
life . We might differ in views but i realized in hindsight some of your
supporters are decent chaps.
Depression varies in severity from disruptive to totally debilitating. It's always best to consult a professional and not rely on the advice of friends/family who are not trained to deal with these issues
I really feel for you, and i have had the same experience, but people think depression is when someone is sad but in actual fact its a illness.
From experience, and by no means am saying i am correct or this is factually scientifically proven,
but having someone near with depression, is a disease/illness, and its seriously hard to get it right.
You cannot just cheer them up by taking them to weekly remedial massages, or go to a cheer up event every day its not going to work.
Listening to your background story, I can link few common things to my past experience.
It sounds like your friend had a vision and a will do make things happen, go forward with developing herself and her life here in Australia. I can say that she would have been a very motivated, someone who will never hand hold her hand put for small help because she like to take care of everything herself.
What happens is that firstly, their bodies become very tired, but their minds dont know how tired the bodies are.
They are keen to keep things in order and keep pursuing their goals in their minds they are very willing, however the bodies get too tired hence causing what seems like a chemical imbalance.
I think the mind being so anxious but body becoming too tired must cause some kind of chemical imbalance, and thats when depression starts.
They then fall into a very nasty state where they cannot move, their heart beat rapidly, and practically become immovable, feel lock in a coffin and depressed.
Sometimes, they feel locked in a coffin, sometime they feel helpless, and sometime they are afraid to lose everything they achieved, because of their condition becoming worse and worse.
Its a very serious illness, and trying to help is hard, as the individual have to really take it on themselves.
Doing pilates, and whatever relaxes them, and stop thinking about, what they have to do this and have to do that.
i know its not a help, but i wrote this to maybe share some background insight from experience on the sad situation your in.
Not nice to hear and write about this on such a early morning.
Pretty good post Mitch. I never thought about depression like that.
I had it though, and it can take a while to get back on your feet.
With me, I had a lot of love from family, but they didnt know and couldnt help anyway. I was having troubles moving forward with life. And felt helpless. Eventually life got better, and looking back I was totally unwell at that time.
It was a combination of anxiety and some depression, triggered by work shit and a relationship breakup.
I deliberately avoided smoking and drinking coz I realised I was very vulnerable to doing more harm. At that time you need to care for yourself well physically, to minimise the impact
Anyone out there who feels like they are living under a cloud, you are not alone
@babycat try speaking with beyondblue or lifeline, they are very good. I have friends who volunteer there.
I wish my friend seeked for help from them before. Then she could be saved. Her bad news was confirmed by her mum. We didn't dare to ask for more details. The day before she did that, she posted lots of quotes about life on her FB, but I didn't notice it untill too late. We alll wish we could know her issue earlier. That's why I want to know the depression syndrome. Feel like it was somehow our faults when were too busy with our own lives...
Thanks for helpful sharing. She might thought she was not on track and tried to get back but too tired to handle everything nicely, I guess. Like people have to against the wave to be back to land. She was the only child.... But she graduated from a very good uni here and had a job in an education agent while I didn't have any good move.... I reckon what we see is not all what we know, sometimes.
Depression is so personal. I don't know how to get out of depression, but to avoid it I think that people have to be disciplined and have:-
* regular exercise
* a good diet
* a strong social/family unit with people they can trust.
* a purpose, ie, with work or family life.
I also think that people need to be selfish and look after their own welfare, that may include going to the movies, going for a punt, alcohol or even having a social outing where you are outside your comfort zone. But beware that too much indulgence can also be detrimental.
People who are more prone to depression also have to see the early warning signs and be prepared to act, to get their life on an even balance. In an earlier comment a member stated that he had learnt the hard way not to confide in workmates. This is great advice as it can be used against you, and then you have even more problems. Talk to people who you trust.
Good luck
Glad to see that most members seem to be more knowledgeable on this topic than I assumed.
But I guess it doesn't hurt to reiterate that depression is an illness and not just a state of being extremely sad and depressed.
It's more of a broken arm rather than a dislocated shoulder, you can't just slot it back into place.
So seek professional help, they'll take care of the complexities way beyond us. It'll take time to heal, as family and friends all we will do is act like the cast, just be there and provide support. We're not the medicine, no need to try too hard to cheer them up, sometimes it has the opposite effect.
Start with exercising. When you exercise, chemicals are released in the brain which help A LOT. Depression is fleeting, it comes and goes. That's how life is.
My life isn't rainbows & sunshine either. There are people who live in much harsher living conditions, still they push on with smiles on their faces. People say that depression is an illness? It's a luxury. An excuse to sit around and do nothing. You have good days, you have bad days... Get on with life.
I've had friends that have been through depression. I ask them to go on runs/long walks with me, talk with them, get their life back on track & spend time together. They are fine. Mostly, they needed a wake up call to go at their own pace & not compare themselves to others.
As for me, depression is a waste of time. You live for 100 years or so, if that & then you're gone. If I commit suicide how will I make money, punt, eat good food & play video games?
It's also common knowledge that pets play an invaluable part in improving a persons mental welfare.
I suffered from mild depression about a year ago. Lack of emotions and just bored of the routine mundane life that I had to go through everyday.
Went to see a counsellor and that helped a bit. Decided to focus on exercise and that's helped a lot. Been going to the gym and dedicated my time to keeping fit. Now I have lost a lot of weight and I feel better about myself too.
I think different people have different way of dealing with depression. But please talk to someone if you feel like you're depressed.
Nice story mate.
Hi forum
Of all the men out there who regularly punt, how many do you think use a forum like this ?
And how common is depression on this forum
Cheers !
Very sorry to hear about your friend Babycat.
I've only joined this forum a short time ago, and I'm really impressed with the way the community is rallying behind you.
Posting Permissions
|
|
|
|