So, here's my punting situation.
So when I see a girl that I like I keep her as an intended future regular. Ideally I only have 1 regular and only exclusively see her.

The situation is this. I had 2 girls that i liked that I met on separate occasions. The last time I saw the first girl was over a month ago. After I saw her I was sick so I wasn't able to see her again until 2 weeks later. I tried to book her but enquired with shop whether I can turn up with a cold and they advise I wait until I'm recovered and so I did. But after I recovered she was no longer on the roster due to a period.

And we all know how timing works and it's been a month since I saw the first girl so I saw another girl and I decided she will instead be my future regular. BUT then the first girl was back on the roster just days after I saw the second girl.

And they were both rostered at the same time and I ultimately decided to see the second girl, but the shop told me that SHE'S having her period despite being on the roster and i later can see that she was removed from tomorrow's roster.

So I decided okay forget it. Blueballed to fucking shits. Nothing worse than deciding to see a girl and she's on the roster and then to be told she's not available. So I waited until Monday and I said fuck it I'll choose from a shortlist of other girls from the roster with the first girl as one of those from the list. I left it too late near closing so that's on me but that's cool because that means I didn't break my loyalty.

It's now Saturday, 9 days since I came. And if you notice my posting history I was enquiring about Rana but life circumstances prevented me from checking her out. I also actually was intending to smash another girl, she looked good in the pics but was actually ugly in person (it was her last day with the shop so me calling her ugly won't matter) so fuck no to that.

Now play this song and then continue reading


And now come 9 days later, my libido has stopped being obsessed with sex I don't feel like punting anymore and I'm back to being Mr. Angry and kind of not afraid to pick fights, only if need be.

Now you may be asking, so what's the exact problem here? Well, now my brain is in a state where it's in some sort of zen. Because it's been too long since I came and I ideally only want to stick to one girl. That girl is still not on the roster but I'm sure she will be on soon but it's been too long and it's like, well, looks like I may drop her as a regular now. I don't want to because I like the feeling of being loyal.

But the long abstinence has me become a cold hard angry machine. And it's not like I'm angry like I'm erratic, like I said it's some sort of zen, like a smooth focused anger, the type that comes with hunting aggression. All I think about now is self-improvement and the grind and that nothing is getting in my way. And now this is where I am at and it's like, well, looks like this is what I should be loyal to now, huh?