...BBBJ and DATY are definitly not the same risk as catching genital herpes as vaginal and penile contact. The risk is much lower transmission that way. There are two strains of the virus, HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-2 has historically be more predominate in genital herpes and is more aggressive in that regard being transmitted "down there".

Although herpes is obviously very annoying and can be very painful/embarassing, it is definitely not the worst STI. Yes you have it forever, but other then the symptomatic blisters it causes...it really doesn't kill you or do much else. Unlike alot of the other ones that well...can kill you or cause infertility.

As well herpes does not present with urethritis, that is more classically presented in STIs like gonorrhea and chlamydia. Like many have said, you need to relax and get tested. Once you get confirmation results, you can decide on the next steps appropriately. Getting random scares or reassurances from strangers on the internet won't help.