Such romantic tales of guys getting their cherry popped for the first time
I remember the first time a ML stuck a finger up my arse.
Just like that. No beg your pardons. No warm up. Phoooom!! and she was up to the second knuckle.
She could have at least chatted me up over a candlelit dinner and a nice bottle of wine, asked me my star sign, told me a few jokes, loosened me up ... but nah phooom!!! Straight in.