Bro, it’s most likely you’re nervous even if you don’t feel so. First time having sex and first time visiting a ML or WL you are bound to be nervous and that kills your cock.

I would abstain from wanking for a while as you have already mentioned. Find a ML you like and go back to her multiple times, you will feel less nervous as you get to know her. Talk and flirt with her too, have fun with her.

I say ML as I think will be much less pressure than a WL. Later on you can try a WL once you get over the initial nervous phase.

See if that works for you.