You're like a 5 year old kid who still needs mommy's milk.
You do know the reason why many people do adventurous stuff in their 20s? That's because they won't be able to do them when they get to their 40s due to brittle bones and slow healing muscles.
Many blokes I know don't even use condoms after having kids. It's either the pill or vasectomy if they have enough kids.
As for your wife's pickiness I can't help with that. You chose to lock in a contract with her, you're supposed to negotiate with her not take her word for face value.