Thanks all for your input. Lots to think about. Have been hitting the gym and staying busy with hobbies as a coping mechanism.

My main focus now are the kids. Just want to be here and deal with this so called marriage and run the course as much as I can stand it.

It’s sad to constantly hear and read that the man needs to step up with emotional connection first before we get what we need. The constant narrative that husbands need to step up etc grates on me. I feel like I am doing all I can with depression meds, therapy, couples counselling and all roads eventually lead back to this place.

For me, what broke the camels back was seeing my wife asleep on the couch watching tv on my birthday promising a special night. Needless to say I went to bed frustrated and lonely and was given the “it’s not a big deal” treatment. This was juxtaposed by the magical birthday celebration she organised for her friends. It really puts a man in his place.

So this is why I’m just done with this relationship. But… I will keep doing it for the kids.