Trapped and helpless

[JJBlows]

this whole thread reminds me of the saying

"men die in their 30's, they just dont get buried until they are in their 80's"

[Spanky69]

It depends. Could end up in a share house just off the M4 in St Mary's without enough surplus cash to own and run a car.

When I was younger, way way younger I looked for a share house. I went to 21 inspections over two weeks. I found one with two hotties in it. I never banged them but all their friends, models, aerobics champions, etc, all good sorts, it was party central.

Just don’t take the first place you find.

Regarding cars. Unless you really need one as a work vehicle don’t buy it.

Cost per year:

Registration $1200
Insurance $1500
Maintenance $1000
Fuel $2500
Tolls $1000

That’s $140 a week just to have the car.

Then there’s the cost of the vehicle. If it’s financed then put that onto your weekly cost.

It’s not worth owning a car unless you can write the costs off.

Better off with public transport to get around.

[Spanky69]

Exactly same for me. About 17 yrs without intimacy. That's not taking into account the declining years. It's not that they don't want intimacy or sex any more..... they just don't want it with their husbands. To cut a long story I stuck it out for my boys now young men and am so glad I did . I believe a man belongs with his family. If so many of these hookers can sell their bodies for family I can stay with mine. Do it if you can.

I’m of the opinion that a woman only needs a man for security~money. Men need a woman for sex. If either one of those needs fail then walk.

The moment you bring children into the equation you have to do the right thing and support the children. Once they’re 18 then you get your life back.

Patience is a virtue best served by divorce lawyers.

[Spanky69]

this whole thread reminds me of the saying

"men die in their 30's, they just dont get buried until they are in their 80's"

I’ve always cheated my entire life and I have no regrets. I’m currently cheating now. It’s like breathing, just normality. Nothing more.

My “loyal to their partner” mates…well one has given up on sex. He’s only 44. Given up on sex. A sexless relationship. He’s fine in every other way just his partner doesn’t do it. Yet he remains loyal. I suppose he’s died according to JJBlows post above.

[schloong]

this whole thread reminds me of the saying

"men die in their 30's, they just dont get buried until they are in their 80's"

Or another saying: "Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to"

[GoldfishMan]

To all the bros with sexless marriages, sorry to hear about your predicament. It does feel like you're doing it all for nothing, especially if you're a punter as well. Then your mind starts to think "why go through all that trouble when I can just pay for it?".

It could be sexless because you no longer find your wife attractive or she has become uninterested (but you still have the desire to fuck her). If it is the latter, you can do something about it. Use meds to improve your performance in bed and get her interested again. Work on your self-image, etc. If the reason is the other one, then it will be very difficult to fix because it can only be fixed by her. Would she hit the gym and get fit, just to present you with a more fuckable wife? Not very likely.

Anyway, if divorce is the only solution, you're probably going to need some facts about divorce law in Australia before you pull the trigger.

I think the most important fact is "No fault" divorce is used here. What it means is, when it comes to how the courts process a divorce, it does not matter why or how the divorce happened. All divorces are processed in the same way, taking into account the same factors. Think long and hard about this because it could play out very differently from what you expect.

Take 2 examples. First example, a high-earning high net worth man divorces his highly promiscuous, cheating wife with all the evidence to prove the infidelity. Second example, a man with the same financial position as the first example divorces his very faithful wife because he has fallen head over heels for his new GF.

In both examples, assuming that the man and wife are exactly the same from a financial perspective, the outcome would be exactly the same. She gets half of everything that was earned during the marriage. If she didn't have any income during the marriage, she gets spousal support. And so on...

The other major thing to remember is that point about "getting half of everything earned in the marriage". Depending on what you do during the marriage, it might be in your best interest to divorce as soon as possible. This is from a financial perspective.

Good luck bro OP.

[Double_Adapter]

It's not that they don't want intimacy or sex any more..... they just don't want it with their husbands.

This shit right here, is real talk!

I've banged enough divorcees, single mums, and unhappy partners and wives to validate the statement.

In the right circumstances and context, punting of any gender, style, and type can/does save relationships.

https://www.outkick.com/culture/marr...e-her-marriage

[sync3d3d]

Very Similar situation with the wife and kids . Started maybe 8 years ago to punt once every 2 months or so to now once a week or fortnight .
I don’t think I’m scratching my itch and I’m still looking for something more..

[andrewv]

Although we sometimes hear about married couples with children being highly active in bed, in reality this is a rarity. Many surveys have shown this.

Add to this how often couples “grow apart” when it comes to their communication, likes and dislikes at a social level.

In reality, what keeps many couples going is the need to look after the kids.

If sex in marriage was overwhelmingly good, the oldest profession would go bust. It has not, and will not.

[Spanky69]

Who put forward the concept of marriage?

I’m all for marriage if you can have several wives. If you can support them during the marriage then why not… oh that word support comes up once again.

On the split up why should a guy have to support his wife/defacto and give her half if she’s never contributed to his business?

I’m sure running things through a trust is the way to keep her hands off things. I’ve even had a WL recently mention the word “trust” in relation to holding onto assets. I thought she’s already done her research on punters and their assets ffs…

[James_jones]

We have tried in the past but don’t bother any more … I can see wife does not care

Your wife is fucking someone else.

[Axeman123]

Your wife is fucking someone else.

The biggest mistake a married man who's marriage is less than ideal can make is to believe that his wife couldn't be unfaithful. There's an awful lot of literature out there if you're looking to learn about red flags.

[Jim_cs]

Thanks all for your input. Lots to think about. Have been hitting the gym and staying busy with hobbies as a coping mechanism.

My main focus now are the kids. Just want to be here and deal with this so called marriage and run the course as much as I can stand it.

It’s sad to constantly hear and read that the man needs to step up with emotional connection first before we get what we need. The constant narrative that husbands need to step up etc grates on me. I feel like I am doing all I can with depression meds, therapy, couples counselling and all roads eventually lead back to this place.

For me, what broke the camels back was seeing my wife asleep on the couch watching tv on my birthday promising a special night. Needless to say I went to bed frustrated and lonely and was given the “it’s not a big deal” treatment. This was juxtaposed by the magical birthday celebration she organised for her friends. It really puts a man in his place.

So this is why I’m just done with this relationship. But… I will keep doing it for the kids.

[JJBlows]

need to start a thread on how to hide/protect assets so men can leave unhappy relationships whilst still looking after the kids etc

[ColesBag]

This shit right here, is real talk!

I've banged enough divorcees, single mums, and unhappy partners and wives to validate the statement.

In the right circumstances and context, punting of any gender, style, and type can/does save relationships.

https://www.outkick.com/culture/marr...e-her-marriage

Been there brother. Both men & women want to spice up life in general if things are a bit stale. I've say it over & over monogamy is one of the most fucked up things that humans have foisted on each other.

[Spanky69]

need to start a thread on how to hide/protect assets so men can leave unhappy relationships whilst still looking after the kids etc

Every relationship ends up unhappy sooner or later. Anyone disagree?

[kpopcity]

A lot of my friends are getting into the age when they are going to get married. Puritan christianity australia has taught them since day 1, marriage is sacred and marriage will last like hollywood forever after movies - when statistics show 40% of marriages end in divorce and perhaps another 40-50% are only in that marriage for the kids or they don't lose 90% of their shit.

The saving grace is, since Aus is a relatively wealthy country, even if you do get divorced, overseas in a third world country presents opportunities. For example, Thailand and Phillipines has been the go to place for divorcee men who want to fuck 20 year olds after decades of sexless marriage. Here is to the aussie dollar

[massage addict]

Yep, stay around and raise your boys!
It was the best thing my dad did for me so many great memories of trips away with him.

[Spanky69]

Every woman wants money, that’s all it’s ever been about. Doesn’t matter what country. Just your buying power is better overseas. I’ve never heard of a long term relationship with any woman from OS and a western guy. The guys get shafted or run out of money then they’re soon divorced.

https://youtu.be/9CgSwOptuz8?si=lEWkeGuKrVyjrkEx

[sync3d3d]

Would love to hear how to do it !