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Thread: Top 8 signs you may be a simp. And some advice.

  1. #1
    Senior Member(無間使者)
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    Top 8 signs you may be a simp. And some advice.

    Let's go. Add yours.

    Numero 1 - You buy her gifts.
    Hate to break it to you, but she doesn't give a shit. You not gonna get better service, or be her favourite client. Why? Cos there's blokes better looking than you, who fuck her better, and get better service out of her, for less. And have her respect.

    Numero 2. - You ask for her phone number.
    You want it "just in case she moves shop" - right? Or for ease of booking?
    Or to text her how her weekend was? Dude, she's been sucking dicks which are bigger and thicker than yours of blokes like me who jizzed in her mouth. That's how it was. Ok.
    Don't fucken text her. She does't care.

    Numero 3. - You tip
    You really are a piss weak simp. Alpha male stud fuckers never tip. If we like the whore, we return. That is her tip.

    Numero 4 - You ask her for dinner.
    I'm not even gonna bother. You're a simp non-plus-ultra. Better pay her for every hour that she could earn fucking other men.

    Numero 5 - You think $280/hr is good value in Sydney.

    Err wrong. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change?
    I can guarantee you there's blokes that fuck fitter and sexier women, longer and harder for $100 an hour less.

    Numero 6 - You book her for 3,4,5,6 or more hours.

    Unless you fuck that long or toke, you are a needy simp. You could fuck 3,4,5,6 other women instead. Simp.

    Numero 7 - You come here posting threads about 'catching feelings', marrying her etc.
    Man the fuck up! The whore is out there to make money. If you need to sober up, ask her if she'll fuck you for free.

    Numero 8 - You're 60 plus years old and still seeing 22-25 year old women.
    You're not only a simp, but also a loser. And you look pathetic in the waiting room. The Asian women particularly from Hong Kong have a word for you "Hamsuplo" or Ham Sup Lou, a salty fish "lecherous man" or pervert. Maybe try women around your own age simp.

    Numero 9 - You're one of these punters that makes bookings and/or hands over cash without meeting the women first.
    Sign of a weak simp who thinks with his dick. Man the fuck up and take control.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by AUSSIEHOTGUY View Post
    Let's go. Add yours.

    Numero 1 - You buy her gifts.
    Hate to break it to you, but she doesn't give a shit. You not gonna get better service, or be her favourite client. Why? Cos there's blokes better looking than you, who fuck her better, and get better service out of her, for less. And have her respect.

    Numero 2. - You ask for her phone number.
    You want it "just in case she moves shop" - right? Or for ease of booking?
    Or to text her how her weekend was? Dude, she's been sucking dicks which are bigger and thicker than yours of blokes like me who jizzed in her mouth. That's how it was. Ok.
    Don't fucken text her. She does't care.

    Numero 3. - You tip
    You really are a piss weak simp. Alpha male stud fuckers never tip. If we like the whore, we return. That is her tip.

    Numero 4 - You ask her for dinner.
    I'm not even gonna bother. You're a simp non-plus-ultra. Better pay her for every hour that she could earn fucking other men.
    Numero 5 - You think $280/hr is good value in Sydney.

    Err wrong. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change?
    I can guarantee you there's blokes that fuck better, longer and harder for $100 an hour less.

    Numero 6 - You book her for 3,4,5,6 or more hours.

    Unless you fuck that long or toke, you are a needy simp. You could fuck 3,4,5,6 other women instead. Simp.

    Numero 7 - You come here posting threads about 'catching feelings', marrying her etc.
    Man the fuck up! The whore is out there to make money. If you need to sober up, ask her if she'll fuck you for free.

    Numero 8 - You're 60 plus years old and still seeing 22-25 year old women.
    You're not only a simp, but also a loser. And you look pathetic in the waiting room.
    Numero 9 - You obsess over being an alpha and not a simp and rage against simps to feel more alpha. Also you bash gays because you're in the closet.

  3. #3
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    Numero 10 - being unable to control yourself to not fuck bareback

    Risking your health and wellbeing for a women??? then starting a thread about how to control yourself??? pretty simpy bro....

  4. #4
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    As long as you enjoy it it doesn't matter whether you're a Simp or not.

    In the eyes of the WLs or MLs you're a kind and generous man. That's what counts.

  5. #5
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    Q8 if you’re fit then age isn’t an issue.

    For example if I’m banging a $1500ph private I’ll make sure I’m super fit and train at the gym a lot harder for three months before. That’s my motivation. For the $300ph tarts I’m more than fit enough to take any number on at once.

    Some guys don’t care how they look or perform so obviously when they get to a certain age their body shows it. For them sex is an afterthought, it’s like “oh I’ll go to the brothel” there is no forward planning, it’s a totally random act and they don’t prepare their body to be the best it can be.

    We all make our own choices…

  6. #6
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    Number 2 can be valuable if you like a girl so you know we’re she is working or changes shop.

  7. #7
    99 King Member (帝皇會員) GoldfishMan's Avatar
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    Actually number 1 is "you think saying Numero is a cool way to say number", when all it does is make you sound like a Low-Value Hombre.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by justincase View Post
    Q8 if you’re fit then age isn’t an issue.

    For example if I’m banging a $1500ph private I’ll make sure I’m super fit and train at the gym a lot harder for three months before. That’s my motivation. For the $300ph tarts I’m more than fit enough to take any number on at once.

    Some guys don’t care how they look or perform so obviously when they get to a certain age their body shows it. For them sex is an afterthought, it’s like “oh I’ll go to the brothel” there is no forward planning, it’s a totally random act and they don’t prepare their body to be the best it can be.

    We all make our own choices…
    Training for three months and then paying $1500 per hour?? Simp!!!

  9. #9
    99 Premium Member (特級會員) 11Bravo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AUSSIEHOTGUY View Post
    Top 8 signs you may be a simp. And some advice.
    Damn, just another case of SDS - Simp Derangement Syndrome. So sad. Seems that the only cure available is to grow up. And unfortunately, for some, that's impossible due to SGS (Stunted Growth Syndrome).

    Would it make me a simp if I donated to the Help Simps fund? Would that be recursive?

  10. #10
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    I'm guilty. I've done it all. Even if the list was Top 100, I'm sure I'll be guilty all of it too. I just laugh at this thread and continue on my ways haha

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by IDOTHAT View Post
    Numero 10 - being unable to control yourself to not fuck bareback

    Risking your health and wellbeing for a women??? then starting a thread about how to control yourself??? pretty simpy bro....
    When you can't stop fucking supermodels bareback for sub $200 pricing. Make sure you never leave a tip.

  12. #12
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    You coulda saved yourself the effort and just told the lads to watch an episode of MAFS; textbook simp behaviour on display.
    If you really want the deluxe edition, chuck on a session of an Aussie Parliament seating… same energy, lotta wokeness in suits with fragile egos.

    ps: the chicks on MAFS take the meaning of 'scrubber' to the next level.....just saying

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by HiredGoon View Post
    Training for three months and then paying $1500 per hour?? Simp!!!
    If someone trains for 3 months he won't be doing it to walk into a massage parlour.

    He does it to win a medal for Australia in Olympic Massage Marathon.

  14. #14
    Senior Member(無間使者) johncitizen's Avatar
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    By definition, you can’t be a simp if you’re a punter. A simp is someone who is overly subservient to a woman in order to become sexually involved with that woman. By paying for the sex, a punter happily bypasses that stage.
    True simps are much too scared to pay for sex with a stranger.

  15. #15
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    cool ranking i am NUMBER 8 "I am a "simp" !

  16. #16
    99 Premium Member (特級會員) 11Bravo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wallyworld View Post
    cool ranking i am NUMBER 8 "I am a "simp" !
    Then I'm NUMBER 6 (aka LT outcall).
    I will not make any deals with you. I've resigned. I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own."

    Cue "The Animals": "It's My Life"
    It's my life and I'll do what I want
    It's my mind and I'll think what I want

  17. #17
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    you should completely ignore these kinds of threads

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by AUSSIEHOTGUY View Post
    Let's go. Add yours.

    Numero 1 - You buy her gifts.
    Hate to break it to you, but she doesn't give a shit. You not gonna get better service, or be her favourite client. Why? Cos there's blokes better looking than you, who fuck her better, and get better service out of her, for less. And have her respect.

    Numero 2. - You ask for her phone number.
    You want it "just in case she moves shop" - right? Or for ease of booking?
    Or to text her how her weekend was? Dude, she's been sucking dicks which are bigger and thicker than yours of blokes like me who jizzed in her mouth. That's how it was. Ok.
    Don't fucken text her. She does't care.

    Numero 3. - You tip
    You really are a piss weak simp. Alpha male stud fuckers never tip. If we like the whore, we return. That is her tip.

    Numero 4 - You ask her for dinner.
    I'm not even gonna bother. You're a simp non-plus-ultra. Better pay her for every hour that she could earn fucking other men.

    Numero 5 - You think $280/hr is good value in Sydney.

    Err wrong. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change?
    I can guarantee you there's blokes that fuck fitter and sexier women, longer and harder for $100 an hour less.

    Numero 6 - You book her for 3,4,5,6 or more hours.

    Unless you fuck that long or toke, you are a needy simp. You could fuck 3,4,5,6 other women instead. Simp.

    Numero 7 - You come here posting threads about 'catching feelings', marrying her etc.
    Man the fuck up! The whore is out there to make money. If you need to sober up, ask her if she'll fuck you for free.

    Numero 8 - You're 60 plus years old and still seeing 22-25 year old women.
    You're not only a simp, but also a loser. And you look pathetic in the waiting room. The Asian women particularly from Hong Kong have a word for you "Hamsuplo" or Ham Sup Lou, a salty fish "lecherous man" or pervert. Maybe try women around your own age simp.

    Numero 9 - You're one of these punters that makes bookings and/or hands over cash without meeting the women first.
    Sign of a weak simp who thinks with his dick. Man the fuck up and take control.
    Lol, don't you Larry Wheels?

  19. #19
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    🧸 pass it round to all you top guns who need a quiet cuddle

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by AUSSIEHOTGUY View Post
    Numero 8 - You're 60 plus years old and still seeing 22-25 year old women.
    You're not only a simp, but also a loser. And you look pathetic in the waiting room. The Asian women particularly from Hong Kong have a word for you "Hamsuplo" or Ham Sup Lou, a salty fish "lecherous man" or pervert. Maybe try women around your own age simp.
    So you expect them to go for 70 years old WLs?

    This is a funny thread.

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