Top 8 signs you may be a simp. And some advice.

[justincase]

This is hilarious!

It’s about my life and who else am I going to tell? A handful possibly half a dozen of my friends, the ones who cheat and punt. They can be trusted to zip it.

Pitiful. This guy is not banging anyone outside of the shops. All his writing on the forums can be filed under science fiction.

It’s fiction for you because you don’t live my life, so how would you know?

Mate, every second post of yours is a flex! It’s a public forum, you can say what you want, but at least own up to it.

I call it fact not a flex. If a guy tells you he has a car that does 300kph are you going to say it’s flexing? If he were to go on a car forum and say “I have a car that makes 800 rear wheel hp” is that a flex or a fact?

It seems anyone that says anything that’s not the norm gets subjected to ridicule and scorn.

Some of the tarts know what I drive. I’ve sent them videos of me driving and when I take them out they get to sit in the passenger seat and experience. Last comment was “it’s loud”. Now that’s a fact BUT if I were to mention specifics here it’d be called flexing.

I’m only here to talk about my sex life, the women I date and punt. I’ve even tried punting at one of the cheapest places just to validate to a forum member that yes I’ll punt anywhere. Call it seeking acceptance or validation..

I got a sore throat afterwards and I never kissed her…. Now that was weird. Oh and yes she took a pic of my dick, like others have done, just to show her friends, another fact not a flex.