Seperation and punting

[Happyas]

Two years ago i got divorced fairly amicable but the confidence has taken a hit.
It took me six months before i felt like sexual contact of any kind so off to the local shop i went for a two hour punt those two hours felt amazing but the next day i did not feel relieved but dispondant waking up in a empty bed.
As time has gone on the punts have become more regular but still do not hold meaning only to release tension short term.
About six months ago whilst leaving a establishment i got busted by my boss who was walking in to said establishment (punting out of area married with a kid and missus pregnant with their second) i said gday and went home the next day i got called into his office asking for discretion which i have kept it was him who told me about this forum and i lurked untill last week when i joined.
How did other bros who have been in this situation get back out and dating as punting is good for stress releif,satisfying desires and female interaction but does nothing for confidence levels.
Just want to get back out in the world and feel time is right to meet new people.

[Oneonone]

I think it depends a lot on how you go about a punt.

I used to just pretend my punt was with my wife the only woman I wanted to be with.

After a while I started to relax and enjoy the experience for what it was.

But punting took on a whole new experience for me when I started to become intimate with the girl and have a real gfe.

It has built my self confidence and I must admit I am a much better lover for the experience I know what women like and want and how to provide it.

Mind you some women still can't relax and enjoy what you have to offer for what ever reason but most appreciate what you bring to the bed room.

I would suggest you just enjoy your punting for what it is. Always treat the lady as your lover not a wl and you and her will both benefit and enjoy the experience.

Try not to fall in love with her always remember you are just another job.

Then when the time comes and you meet the right lady you will have the confidence to move on and know you have the skill to satisfy her.

Good luck bro relax and enjoy.

[Wayne]

I think it depends a lot on how you go about a punt.

I used to just pretend my punt was with my wife the only woman I wanted to be with.

After a while I started to relax and enjoy the experience for what it was.

But punting took on a whole new experience for me when I started to become intimate with the girl and have a real gfe.

It has built my self confidence and I must admit I am a much better lover for the experience I know what women like and want and how to provide it.

Mind you some women still can't relax and enjoy what you have to offer for what ever reason but most appreciate what you bring to the bed room.

I would suggest you just enjoy your punting for what it is. Always treat the lady as your lover not a wl and you and her will both benefit and enjoy the experience.

Try not to fall in love with her always remember you are just another job.

Then when the time comes and you meet the right lady you will have the confidence to move on and know you have the skill to satisfy her.

Good luck bro relax and enjoy.

Great to see such an honest and thoughtful response to someone with a genuine question. The reason I still bother with these forums.

[Sextus]

I know what women like and want and how to provide it.

Please be so kind as to fill us all in about that oneoneone. Profuse technical detail no problem at all.

[Oneonone]

Please be so kind as to fill us all in about that oneoneone. Profuse technical detail no problem at all.

I am sure you know it all Sextus if not just read some of my AR's particularly the earlier ones where I went into more detail.

But for me treat the lady right is the secret to success.

Listen to her and her body they hold all the answers.

[lockhart]

........ Always treat the lady as your lover not a wl and you and her will both benefit and enjoy the experience.

Try not to fall in love ......

Agree wholeheartedly! Good advice!

[Happyas]

I treat the ladies with the utmost respect as i know they deal with some not very nice punters i have had a booking before when once into the room the wl got very upset i spent the hour of my booking with her crying on my shoulder getting alot off bad shit out of her head and off her shoulders when i returned the following week i got a big hug and thanks again and a session with a smile on her face and mine for helping out.
As for getting better at pleasing a woman i have learnt a heap as the ex was a starfish but i did not know any better (only second ever lover) so that has helped build the confidence to a degree but i guess im after something more long term.

[Oneonone]

but i guess im after something more long term.

Well don't look for it in a brothel.

Broaden your horizons and look else where I am sure you will find it.

Good Luck.

[Punter Poontang]

Excellent posts Oneonone, agree with it all.

I've probably spent 14 of the last 15 years in different relationships, never needed to punt as a last resort, but as the current one is a long-distance affair I've been punting a lot more this year.

Picking the right girls is imo as important as adopting the right attitude, but once you do both and get to that level where it's a mutually enjoyable experience for you and the girl, it becomes more of a confidence boost than anything else.

[Happyas]

Well don't look for it in a brothel.

Broaden your horizons and look else where I am sure you will find it.

Good Luck.

I go to the brothel to satisfy urges only so many times you can wank.
As for going out all my mates are married so i do not go out on my own to pubs or clubs may have to start.

[Skepti10]

Agree with the previous poster, if you're looking for a LT intimate relationship a ML/WL is definitely the wrong place to look. Confidence boost? Yes. Stress relief? Absolutely. Becoming emotionally attached to a particular girl? It'll almost never work out the way you want it to.

As for getting back out into the market? It'll depend how old you are, but maybe join hobby club, singles nights & events in the city, or use meetup.com to find new friends - e.g. there's a 40s & 50s meet up this wednesday.

[the wizard]

Two years ago i got divorced fairly amicable but the confidence has taken a hit.
It took me six months before i felt like sexual contact of any kind so off to the local shop i went for a two hour punt those two hours felt amazing but the next day i did not feel relieved but dispondant waking up in a empty bed.
As time has gone on the punts have become more regular but still do not hold meaning only to release tension short term.
About six months ago whilst leaving a establishment i got busted by my boss who was walking in to said establishment (punting out of area married with a kid and missus pregnant with their second) i said gday and went home the next day i got called into his office asking for discretion which i have kept it was him who told me about this forum and i lurked untill last week when i joined.
How did other bros who have been in this situation get back out and dating as punting is good for stress releif,satisfying desires and female interaction but does nothing for confidence levels.
Just want to get back out in the world and feel time is right to meet new people.

I can relate to a lot of the things mentioned here, coming out of a relationship I started punting to get that confidence back
Oneonone's response is very prudent...i totally agree.

Picking the right girls is imo as important as adopting the right attitude, but once you do both and get to that level where it's a mutually enjoyable experience for you and the girl, it becomes more of a confidence boost than anything else.

Whether it is a W\l or a Gf hopefully not as hard to achieve as long as the distinction between the two is very clear.

join hobby club, singles nights & events in the city, or use meetup.com to find new friends - e.g. there's a 40s & 50s meet up this wednesday.

thanks skepti10... just checked the website...

[Rock Star]

I find punting has made me less intimidated to talk to the hot girls at the pub

[IExperiment]

Well I have similar problem once a decade. In the past I cheated on the partner and never look back, but been paying for it not the Child support the guilt to my kids even if I am making it up all the time by buying gifts and seeing them every week.

The good outcome is that were all as happy as can be as the older kids is now growing up with my new kids but I know my older kid sometimes give me the guilty, she once say why dont you wanted to leave with us dad in saying this she gets a bit teary and made me teary when she said that and I explain the best I can how I dont love her mum anymore but I will always love her and made me teary too.

Well it is now more than a decade as guys will be guys were born fuck in the head now I am trying not to do the same more than a decade ago.
Most likely it wont happen but the jeezz its hard, luckily the one I am with is the one but there is always fun out there to be had.
There is no way I would trade this one now but what she does not know wont hurt her cross my fingers.

The good things is to the story my kids are happy together thaks to my hard work getting together quite often.

I was smitten by a few in the past year or so but this one is a real challenge as I cant get her out of my head.

[jellyshots]

Hey Happyas, firstly, thank you for sharing your story. There is much I can relate to in your post. 2 years ago, my wife and I separated. It was amicable, no-one did anything wrong but sadly, it wasn't meant to be. A year after, I found my self divorced, lonely and with absolutely no confidence. I hadn't had any female contact that whole year, thinking that she would change her mind but she never did. Even to this day, I have a box or two of stuff tucked away that she and I bought together.

So after a year, I nervously took the plunge, jumped on the forum, asked Bro Ahlungor a few questions then based on a few AR's, visited Silver Fox Massage, the lovely Cici and wrote my own AR that afternoon. I was on cloud nine for nearly a week. I'm not sure what was worse, the waiting time between punts or the constant reminder that I was alone. I can't even involve my mates - they're all married off, having kids and here I am, divorced and single.

As Oneonone has said, punting takes on a whole new experience when your ML turns into GF. For me, punting started off innocent enough. I always make an effort to be well groomed and to smell nice. I always have mints on me and things progressively began heating up in my punts. Some of the girls ended up talking a lot to me about their personal lives and occasionally, I'd get to make out with a pretty hot ML.

At the 8 month mark of my punting journey, I met a woman who to this day I can honestly say, completely f*cked up my head. I'm still in love with her. We had awesome sex, great energy together. My confidence was on top of the world. Until she pretty much stopped contacting me and just expected me to f*ck her in the shop. She never charged me extras but somehow, everything seemed less genuine when she wouldn't contact me outside of the shop.

So last week, I saw a couple of others. One is a really sweet, bubbly girl who just made my day. We ended up making out and she asked me out last week. So Thurs, I was going to take her last booking before our date. She wasn't there. I get told she was doing a long lunch. F*ck, I decide to book someone who I've only booked once before - Heidi and I msg Chloe to tell her I'll wait inside for her.

When Chloe comes back, she's in trouble with Big John and has to sort that out. I end up with a Chloe/Heidi double. Heidi, I'm not sure what got into her but she is handsy, makes out with me, then makes out with Chloe. Chloe then makes out with me and we go full circle. Chloe invites Heidi out to dinner with us. All I can say is, wow. When we do go out, we jump on a bus, Chloe next to me, Heidi on my lap and they walk down the street, either side of me holding my hands, alternately leaning in and making out with me as we walk to the restaurant. The girls loved the attention as much as I did.

Anyway, lovely dinner, lots of making out and I get them in cabs and end up home along - but with them both txting me the next day. The thing is, how do I even go back to dating through RSVP or POF?

I am a much more tolerant person after being a punter. Some of the things the girls have to put up with are horrible so I can't really bitch about anything in my life. I even wish I had the self control not to fall for them.

[asiafever]

It is only natural for confidence to be sapped when going through a separation/divorce, especially when you were not especially keen on the idea. even more so if your partner was a soul sucking banshee who used your last shred of manhood as a dishcloth to wipe the last scraps of your self esteem out of the sink.
Most of you know the vagaries of my separation. Even now she has the ability to totally destroy my happiness. This weekend gone she managed to make my father's day a living hell.
I started punting as an escape from a loveless marriage. I still had feelings for her, though they weren't returned, but needed sex and affection still. As my life disintegrated around me I punted more, it was like a drug, my little 'hit' took me away from the real world momentarily. But what is 'the real world'? That's a discussion for another time.
Anyway I found myself loving rnt in particular more, here I was getting a massage on my tired body, from a girl who I believe wouldn't look twice at me outside, but we are conversing, flirting etc. And then started the dating with some. When you're self esteem has been battered like a seafront village in a hurricane, dating a girl in this industry isn't the wisest move, but it does instill some resilience. I still look for 'love' in all the wrong places, they're all fine girls no ugly faces (damn you Young MC and your catchy rap), as my circle just doesn't really allow for much else apart from the occasional horny mum from school, which I again dodge and weave knowing that it is extremely short-sighted and likely to cause more angst. Do I honestly expect to find love in a shop? No. But I am addicted to the feeling that for that 1hr these angels are somehow 'interested' in me. The truth may be entirely different, but as I always say, truth depends greatly on your point of view. Who knows, maybe somewhere out there is a pretty, intelligent ML with a heart of gold looking for a late 30's single dad to whisk her away...

[Happyas]

Some wise words shared i am not looking for love from a working girl my original post was really for advice on how other bros got back out there too find someone.
Have there been wls i would like to know better yes there is/was but it is a lust connection that nothing will come of.
I keep my eyes open and will have to suffer some anguish untill i meet someone being on arvo shift does not help looking at taking a financial hit and go back to dayshift to be able to go out more when others are out too maximise chances of meeting someone

[Boney]

It is good to see a serious discussion, I don't know about you guys but hanging out at a pub/club/bar trying to chat up chicks has never been something I have been good at, besides I find those places boring. Dating sites can be good, just don't be too sensitive about being unceremoniously un-friended or ignored, it is probably best to just get a few dates without expectations so that you can regain your confidence. There seems to be swarms of asian ladies around the late 30's to 40's mark looking for a guy. At first I thought GSOH was Good Sense Of Humour, but really it is Good Salary, Own Home, you can use these as marketing but a serious relationship needs to be built on more substantial foundations. Being serious though eternal true love is not easy, compromises need to be made, luck is necessary and hard work to keep the relationship intact irregardless of who your future partner may be.

Goodluck

[Wayne]

There seems to be swarms of asian ladies around the late 30's to 40's mark looking for a guy.

ain't it the truth..

[Skepti10]

At first I thought GSOH was Good Sense Of Humour, but really it is Good Salary, Own Home

You'll find thats a cultural thing. When your parents grow up dirt poor you'll sacrifice a lot to not end up in the same position...probably why they moved here in the first place