Chinese Massage.
501 King Street
Newtown

Howdy All,

This is a review of Salina.

Upon arrival I had a talk with owner Davie. Davie mentioned that he hopes to have a sister shop open again in Liverpool in early February. He has a place picked out and waiting for DA approval.

Before I tell you about her you need to know the context of this. Let me start by saying I am a guy who likes to talk to people. My motto has always been that the definition of a stranger is a friend I haven’t made yet. I like to ask questions and am also a fairly open guy who doesn’t mind answering them.

For example, when I was called up into the US Army they gave me a thorough physical examination. At the end of the examination I spent 10 minutes talking with an Army psychiatrist Capt. Hymie Goldman. Being the coward I am, I asked him what would keep me out of the Army and the following questioning ensued.

Goldman: Do you have flat feet?
Seagal: No
Goldman: Are you blind in one eye?
Seagal: No.
Goldman: Are you addicted to drugs?
Seagal: No
Goldman: Are you a homosexual?
Seagal: No.
Goldman: Are you a member of religious group opposed to war?
Seagal; I’m Jewish does that count?
Goldman: So am I. We fight all the time! Are you an only child?
Seagal: No.
Goldman: Do you have a hearing impairment?
Seagal: Huh? I can’t hear you.
Goldman: That finishes you assessment.
Seagal: I still can’t hear you.
Goldman: Hear this! You’re in and you’re fucked!

Fortunately for both of us Hymie and I remained total strangers (shalom), but I didn’t mind the questioning and answering session I had with him.

This brings us to Salina..

Salina is a rather solid looking lady in her mid 20’s. I say she is solid looking to mean she is not fat, but she has that’ I will put on a lot of kilos in a few years time’ look about her. She has a pretty face with what looks like size B breasts. English is not too bad.

Massage was nothing to write home about because it s basically nothing. She sort of tried, but had no real technique. As she ‘massaged’ we talked and most of it consisted of her grilling me. Here is an example.

Salina: Are you married?
Seagal: Divorced.
Salina: How long you divorced?
Seagal: 3 years.
Salina: Why you divorced.
Seagal: That’s complicated.
Salina: You having sex with another woman?
Seagal: No.
Salina: She having sex with another man.
Segal: No!
Salina: You looking for a new wife?
Seagal: No
Salina: Why not?
Seagal: You have a boyfriend?
Salina: Yes.
Seagal: You have sex with him?
Salina: That’s personal!


Holy shit. I felt she was grilling me like a pork chop. She asks me a whole lot of personal questions and when I asked her 2 questions and she claims it’s too personal! Plus, she said she thought I was 70 years old!!!

Needless to say, I was not exactly in mood for an intimate encounter with said Salina. When she started to give me a hand job it was a half arsed effort and I wound up finishing myself off.

Will I see Salina again? If you don’t know the answer to this question I will be conducting English Reading 101 on Boxing Day.

See you again soon where I review the lovely Vicky.

Until that time friends . . .until that time.

Steven.