How badly have I screwed my chances with this girl?

[rage_face]

Thanks everyone for your input.

1.you haven't exactly fucked up, but there is no recovery
2.see no.1
3.see no.1
4.no, it's a nice gift
5.unless she's really clueless then yes, she knew
6.friends all along

Yeah, I kinda figured there's no recovery. I am sure she knew too, or at least had a very good idea. I think it would've been obvious when I first asked her out during one of our study sessions. But then this leads to another question: if she knew ages ago, then why would she still try to be friends?

Things can change. Maybe she liked you when you first met but things changed for her, maybe she met someone else, could be any number of reasons. Otherwise the story just does not makes sense.

Either that, or you misread the signals.

I think this is most likely the case, that things changed for her. I think maybe I should've made a move on the night we had dinner. I am confident I didn't misread the signals, I have seen her with other guys and she doesn't touch their hands.

That is what a smart girl who understands how weird, clingy and obsessive guys can get would do in this situation, however the thing is that girls are often just as awkward and confused as you are and she probably doesn't think you are creepily obsessing over her like you are... She probably thought you were a good dude and enjoyed your company but never saw you as a potential partner, sexual or otherwise.

Maybe, but I guess this is where guys and girls differ a lot. I reckon maybe only 5% of guys would hang out with a girl on a regular basis one on one without wanting anything more than friendship.

Honestly mate, don't dwell on things. It didn't work out, move on. Life's too short to be worried and self-conscious and trying to decipher what's going on in someone else's (let alone a woman's) mind.

I know, I'm starting to move on, not expecting anything from this. But I do like to think to see where I made mistakes so I can improve.

If you suck up to her now she will never respect you.

I agree, if I make the next contact I will lose face and respect, and that is why I won't.

1. What do you hope to get out from this relationship if you and this girl ends up BF and GF ! Is she potentially some one you can get serious with or even settle down ??

Yeah, she is definitely I can see being serious with, and she is that type of girl. Very homely and nerdy.

Do you just want to bed her and have another notch on the belt or a genuine relationship

Genuine relationship.

I have been in your situation more than 20 years ago and yep she did come back to me

Bro I would be very interested to know more about this. Please tell? Or at least pm me? I mean, how did she come back to you? How long did you have to wait?

You are in a very sticky situation there, but it doesnt mean you have to give up!

Thanks, but what else can I do in my situation other than wait?

Man some of you guys here are fucked...Rage face bro, judging by the sound of things she wouldve been interested in you early on however things went stale quick and she eventually lost interest.
The pen was not too personal, that was fine, but my advice to you is as ahlungor bro said. Ask yourself if you really like this girl. If the answer is yes. Take a step back and give the hoe some space, stop being obsessive. I know its hard but you need to restrain your over excited ass. Give it about a week or 2 then reset and try again but this time dont come across as desperate. Play it casual and cool and get the girl. Just be yourself and be natural.

Never ever get dating advice from a woman. They are fucked in the head and dont know what theyre talking about half the times. Good luck rage face bro

I think you are spot on. Like I said, I def didn't misread the signs, so I think she was interested in the beginning. I still recall the times she was checking me out. It may sound petty but I remember her turning her head, and brushing her hair back as if it was a reason to turn her head and look at her. She did this like 5 times during the lecture.

And I guess maybe things went stale for her when I didn't kiss her on dinner night.

How do you think I should reset and try again? I've already said goodbye to her because I told her I couldn't be friends with someone I like.

And yes, even though the girl who gave me advice was a good friend, talking to her made me realise they have no idea on what it's like to pursue a girl.