Guess I'm a bit late to this, but for future punters:

Miso Honey: Best VFM
  • $130 for 30 mins (CBJ, CFS)
  • $230 for 60 mins (same as above)
  • Girls rotate every week or two between here and sydney/melbourne
  • lots of korean chicks, some japanese, smattering of other asians
  • no paid extras (but if you're nice, and get the right girl, you might get free extras - I get a finger in most, and DATY occasionally)
  • Usually follow up the sex with some cuddling or a nice massage (or both). Never been hurried out the door after I pop, and on hour sessions I often get a couple of swings at home base.
  • STD checks are rushed (if they happen), so be warned on that one
  • Usually pretty good service (Them asian chicks love to please), but I've had a couple of disappointing starfishes.


If I'm short on cash (or just have the hankerin'), Miso is my choice - better to be guaranteed sex and maybe get a massage than the other way round for the same price (plus no chance of cops bursting in).

Montecito: Most consistent
  • $150 for 30 mins (CBJ, CFS)
  • $250 for 60 mins (same as above)
  • $250 for 30 mins with 2 girls (used to, can't see that on their site any longer)
  • Avoid on Friday and Saturday nights, unless you want to sit in the waiting room with a bunch of drunks for a couple of hours.
  • Paid extras, pretty standardised - $50 each for DFK, DATY, Fingering, sucking boobs, or $150 for the GFE. Different girls may cut you deals, but a while ago they got a standard price for extras.
  • Almost always a pretty decent selection that covers most of your non-asian wants.
  • Had a couple of super hot star fishes, but mostly been pretty good service.
  • Has a pretty decent number of girls that have been there for a fair while
  • Been turned away a couple of times because I'd been battin' too hard and the bellend was red.


I pretty much know exactly how much I'm in for, and what it'll cost me when I go here. A bit more expensive, but some of the day girls are fucking amazing.

Cleos on Nile: Hit and miss, but some of the best ladies in Brisbane.
  • $150 for 30 mins (CBJ, CFS)
  • $250 for 60 mins (same as above)
  • $75 for 15 mins with a second girl
  • Paid extras - varies by lady
  • Been turned away here the most times (aforementioned 'red penis' issue - a.k.a "I introduced myself, but I'm not really interested in servicing you". Dicks look weird, and there's always something a girl can pick if she doesn't want to fuck you).
  • Had the absolute best blowie of my life here (some yank chick called Jordan? It was a long time ago - I doubt that she's still there, but her mouth was a magic wizard)
  • As I said - girls are hit and miss. Often the good ones are booked out, and there's only the slappers left. The hits are definitely worth it, though. Never had a starfish here.


If I'm southside with a bit of cash and a bit of time, I'll usually drop in here. Don't even bother on game nights (it's really near the gabba). If you don't like what you see, then it's not far to 88 on Logan, which brings me to:

88 on Logan: Some fun to be had, but the most depressing brothel in Brissy
  • $150 for 30 mins (CBJ, CFS)
  • $250 for 60 mins (same as above)
  • Paid extras - varies by lady
  • Free extras - varies by lady, but ask and there's a more than 50% chance that they won't say no
  • Get your MILF fetish here. Most of the girls have the look of a young(-ish) mother (if not outright telling you that they have kids).
  • It's a passable backup to Cleos, but I've occasionally visited Cleo's visited 88, and then gone back to Cleo's to pick a girl. Or just given up and gone to Montecito.
  • Some nice girls, and they'll treat you well, but you can tell that none of them are really happy to be there.


I've had some fun here - free extras are easier, and I've never been turned away, but I always feel a bit bad for the girls.

Sensations on Spine: Cheapy but Bogany
  • $130 for 30 mins (CBJ, CFS)
  • $230 for 60 mins (same as above)
  • Paid extras vary by girl, but I did get full GFE for $50 once.
  • Staffed mostly by bogans from Ipswitch - some lookers among them, but don't expect scintillating conversation after you do the deed. Not exactly a "high class" establishment.
  • A bit out of the way (Sumner Park) - only ever go there if I have free time after visiting friends in ippy.


I think this one may have changed names recently?

All of these reviews are at least 18 months old (some of them a bit longer than that), but I think they should still stand up. There are a couple of other brothels that I've never tried properly (Viper Room: I've stuck my head in a few times, but balked at the really high prices, and low quality of the girls there. They certainly have quantity, though. Never actually played there; Yimi 476: never been there, but heard OK stuff about it - it's another Asian place; a few others around, too, which I've neither visited nor heard anything about).

Anyway, happy fucking. And remember, if your wife/girlfriend/mother/boss catches you, you're hiring a professional girl for interactive porn - it doesn't mean anything.

Other notes:
  • Show up clean. You'll have a shower first anyway, but it's still nice not to BO the girl out before you even agree. She may just find something weird on your dick and send you packing.
  • It's up to you, of course, but I rarely ever see the same girl more than twice. The variety is nice, but I don't want to be a "regular" for any girl. Twice is about my limit.
  • Sure we talk about girls being slappers here, but be polite in person - just because you're paying them doesn't make them "no longer people". Also, if they like you, they're likely to give you better service
  • If you're not happy with the service, either put up or speak up. It probably won't win you many favours, but you're paying them money, so you should enjoy it. Only once have I been asked if I want to pick another girl instead, but it does happen sometimes.
  • Don't fall in love with her magical hands/mouth/boobs/vadge. They're all one of many that are just as good.
  • Pay cash. I know they take cards, but for your sake, just pay cash. If you like planning ahead, and want to be discrete, just take cash out in $20s or $50s over the week so there isn't a big lump sum coming out right before you disappear for a couple of hours.
  • Pick a fake name for yourself. You don't know their real name, and they don't know yours. Makes plausible deniability easier when you realise that they're your SO's long-lost school time BFF's daughter (or whatever). They're unlikely to out their profession in front of friends/family, but it saves them accidentally calling you by your real name before they've been told it (one WL I'd visited twice ended up working at a cafe my SO and I visited).