What happened to me? Love or not... PART 2 Update

Hamish I feel sorry for you, you sound like a nice guy, best not to fall for a ML/WL next time...

Hamish, store the nice scenes in your memory, delete the bullshit and look in a new direction. Not so easy. And keep the distance like already suggested ...

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Originally Posted by jediknight4ever

I can probably relate as I've been in a shorter but much more turbulent relationship with an engaged woman (which I wasn't aware of until near the end). She was quite unstable too, but love is blind and all the red flags that you never realised before goes out the window so to speak. It was a mills&bons romance, she was pregnant with my baby but she didn't want it so she had an abortion. Me being anti-abortion didn't take it very well. Fair to say I was in shock and has depression & anxiety attacks, it got even worse when I found out the truth of her fiancée in France.

I had a dream about the birth of my son in the hospital maybe in an alternate reality of the Marvel Universe.

It's been 10 months since I last saw her and besides going to brothels I haven't being wanting to get intimate with anyone in my real life until recently where I met a girl who looks like a model but is a country girl at heart. Still getting to know her.

Life has its ups and downs but it does get better. Like Ronan Keating sings "Life is a rollercoaster just gotta ride it!". You should think of yourself lucky that you've dodged a bullet in such an unstable and crazy person.

If you're interested in my original article just copy and paste
http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.ph...g-a-single-mum

All the best!

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Thank you. I read some of your story and it is very full on. I hope everything is okay with your life now. Lets look forward together.

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Originally Posted by CunningLinguist

Hamish I feel sorry for you, you sound like a nice guy, best not to fall for a ML/WL next time...

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Thank you. Yeah I'm not sure where the future will lead me but I think dating industry girls is very tough even with thick skin.

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Originally Posted by Highnoon

Hamish, store the nice scenes in your memory, delete the bullshit and look in a new direction. Not so easy. And keep the distance like already suggested ...

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Yeah there were many good memories which I enjoyed and won't forget. There was a lot more shit and lies which overcome the good. I'm already keeping my distance - I can't help her anymore, I deleted a lot of our stuff and contact numbers/information. Her current boyfriend force blocked me on everything on her phones so its very difficult for her to contact me. But i've decided I don't want to speak to her again.

I be waiting for part 3 update in few months time ...u are too weak . Good luck Any way !

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Originally Posted by HamishAM

Yeah..if this does happen it will be another challenge but I need to move on and tell myself I am happier without her. I need to be stronger.



Ahh yeah I read a bit but i guess it can help some people - not really my type of change management i want though. I didn't do anything wrong in our relationship - it was her. I dont need to change myself for someone as low as her. Thanks for the heads up.

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Buddy, your story is a strong reinforcement for us all. Easy to fall for these ML/WLs.
Thankyou for sharing.

That is what she need while she was working, she is already becoming unable to commit to anything and anyone, otherwise she would have get hurt or maybe she was once a person like you but after what she been through with someone like you to chase her and have a relationship, and the other person might treat her shit, she become this to protect herself.

Anyway, enough with my nonsense, you live well brother. there is always someone out there.

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Originally Posted by BigDipper

Buddy, your story is a strong reinforcement for us all. Easy to fall for these ML/WLs.
Thankyou for sharing.

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No problem. That's why I want to share my story. Also everyone's comments helps me move on and understand.

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Originally Posted by junisme

That is what she need while she was working, she is already becoming unable to commit to anything and anyone, otherwise she would have get hurt or maybe she was once a person like you but after what she been through with someone like you to chase her and have a relationship, and the other person might treat her shit, she become this to protect herself.

Anyway, enough with my nonsense, you live well brother. there is always someone out there.

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This does make alot of sense. With me she was happy, but she even said to me too much happiness to scary and she doesn't deserve it because of what she did to us (lie, cheat, use). She may have been innocent before but she has worked in this industry for 10 years. It has changed her.

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Originally Posted by BigDipper

Buddy, your story is a strong reinforcement for us all. Easy to fall for these ML/WLs.
Thankyou for sharing.

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Originally Posted by junisme

That is what she need while she was working, she is already becoming unable to commit to anything and anyone, otherwise she would have get hurt or maybe she was once a person like you but after what she been through with someone like you to chase her and have a relationship, and the other person might treat her shit, she become this to protect herself.

Anyway, enough with my nonsense, you live well brother. there is always someone out there.

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Originally Posted by Babycat

And I've decided to control my feelings but avoid relationship with customers as it's just a pain game. Nothing serious. Too much pain, lie and hopelessness.

All she said are just excuses to leave you but still make you have feelings for her and think she left you because she thinks for your benefit. No, she didn't feel guilty of it. Just excuse.

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I see. Just excuses. She always wanted to stay friends and kept saying you help me etc. Of course she was using me and using pretty words to cover up everything.

Ultimately, you were "trained" or "groomed". But, the good thing was that you've managed to escape it. Sure it hurts, just as PTSD gave me the shits from my last viet ex and the ex-fiance before her did, but time does male it somewhat better. I ended up fucking other girls regardless. Only problem was that it isn't easy to open up for real. It isn't easy to trust again. It isn't easy to remember your true face. You'd naturally be suspicious of the next girl you would start seeing. More than the girl you see you get suspicious of, you only end up being suspicious of yourself. Rememeber that to heart and mind, then you would remember to look from the bigger picture of everything between and around yourself and the girl you next see.

.... this is just simply one little tiny point of view, basically. Not one to take seriously at all.

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Originally Posted by OmniMime

Ultimately, you were "trained" or "groomed". But, the good thing was that you've managed to escape it. Sure it hurts, just as PTSD gave me the shits from my last viet ex and the ex-fiance before her did, but time does male it somewhat better. I ended up fucking other girls regardless. Only problem was that it isn't easy to open up for real. It isn't easy to trust again. It isn't easy to remember your true face. You'd naturally be suspicious of the next girl you would start seeing. More than the girl you see you get suspicious of, you only end up being suspicious of yourself. Rememeber that to heart and mind, then you would remember to look from the bigger picture of everything between and around yourself and the girl you next see.

.... this is just simply one little tiny point of view, basically. Not one to take seriously at all.

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Bro,your ex is a ML too? Sounds like you do go through a lot of pain as well

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Originally Posted by Sydreader2017

Bro,your ex is a ML too? Sounds like you do go through a lot of pain as well

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No, the reference was in regards to the potential similarity of suffering incurred.

Sorry, putting my words in layman's terms would make it even more confusing as to what I would be talking about.

But, yes, I refer to suffering.

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by OmniMime

Ultimately, you were "trained" or "groomed". But, the good thing was that you've managed to escape it. Sure it hurts, just as PTSD gave me the shits from my last viet ex and the ex-fiance before her did, but time does male it somewhat better. I ended up fucking other girls regardless. Only problem was that it isn't easy to open up for real. It isn't easy to trust again. It isn't easy to remember your true face. You'd naturally be suspicious of the next girl you would start seeing. More than the girl you see you get suspicious of, you only end up being suspicious of yourself. Rememeber that to heart and mind, then you would remember to look from the bigger picture of everything between and around yourself and the girl you next see.

.... this is just simply one little tiny point of view, basically. Not one to take seriously at all.

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Yeah I agree with your points. I do think I was groomed in a sense. I'm happy it's over now and even when I took her back I was thinking of breaking it off because I knew I could never trust her and she would never love me. I think I can't bring these negative feelings to my next relationship but it's very difficult now with the damage that's been done.

This is a great lesson but it's also a blessing because you got out of it. Do not keep contact. Consider her dead and don't do it again.

These kind of girls prey on insecure guys. I mean, good that you got some benefits, but it's not really worth getting burned over.

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Originally Posted by HamishAM

...
Everything was looking good for 6-7 months - we decided to live together so I started ... helping her with her visa paperwork etc..

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As soon as you get to this quote, its clear this was always about her getting a visa.
In this scenario its impossible to know who else is involved in this womans life:
boyfriend, husband, kids (in Australia or overseas) all could be involved on her side
Thats the only red flag you need to mention to stop reading right there...

You have to realise that ML probably see 6-7 guys a day. There will be a few guys in her life already if she is attractive - she can pick and choose, including which guys she hangs on to that she can get help from

An attractive lady will always have a few guys in her life she is NOT attracted to, but she strings along because those guys bend over backwards to make her happy. They dont pick up the obvious clues that the woman is NOT interested in him

The advice here is right, move on and forget her. You have wasted enough time and money already

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Originally Posted by HamishAM

She was using me financially - Rent, food, eating out and also helping her with her student visa payments and paperwork and partnership visa. She was 100% using me

Now I look back and think I was very naive.

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Now you have reflected on it, you now can see exactly what happened

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Originally Posted by hyperultra

As soon as you get to this quote, its clear this was always about her getting a visa.
In this scenario its impossible to know who else is involved in this womans life:
boyfriend, husband, kids (in Australia or overseas) all could be involved on her side
Thats the only red flag you need to mention to stop reading right there...

You have to realise that ML probably see 6-7 guys a day. There will be a few guys in her life already if she is attractive - she can pick and choose, including which guys she hangs on to that she can get help from

An attractive lady will always have a few guys in her life she is NOT attracted to, but she strings along because those guys bend over backwards to make her happy. They dont pick up the obvious clues that the woman is NOT interested in him

The advice here is right, move on and forget her. You have wasted enough time and money already

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Yeah - this is great insight. She is a popular ML and very attractive. I'm sure she has many others on the side too and back home also. Cheers for the advice

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Originally Posted by hyperultra

Now you have reflected on it, you now can see exactly what happened

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Yeah i'm clear now - still feeling the loneliness and heartache but that will be temporary.

Not often in life someone will spell out the signs for you. I have some sisters, this was their advice to me...

SIGNS WOMAN IS NOT INTERESTED AND SHE SEE YOU AS A CLINGER
1)You ask to meet up with her and you get hesitation and never a firm time
Trust me if you are an A class young male Hollywood actor she will want to see you that night
2)You are paying for all meals and driving her everywhere and getting pretty much nothing in return apart from her company but no affection
3)You are doing something valuable for her that other guys not as desperate as you would never do...
eg doing her assignmemts, paying her rent, doing her house repairs, fixing her Visa application
4)She doesnt return texts in a prompt manner. Her keenness for you is directly proportional to how prompt she is at replying to her texts. Remember women check their phones every 10 minutes
5)She is secretive with her phone and she checks it often including when you are having dinner together. Her actual boyfriend sends her texts which she wants to reply to. Lol
6)She has a lot of expensive jewellery and handbags. You can be sure her family didnt buy these
7)She has special male friends who know a lot more about her than she has shared with you, and these 'friends' love meeting up with her
8)She has male flatmate (s)
9)Important days like your birthday you notice she doesnt make much effort - its all half assed. Sometimes she cant meet up with you on those days
10)A lot of days she is unavailable to see her and she is not working
11)After 6 months you havent met her family if they are in Sydney, and they dont know about you

In summary, a lady interested in you will make time to see you
When she sees you as boyfriend material and not a pushover, text conversations are fair - with her replying promptly and initiating contact

By all means go out with women that arent interested. Occasionally good times can be had if she drops her boyfriend or is just bored. But have a lot of options so if one falls through you have a few other ladies to focus your fun with. Oneitis is the trap you need to avoid

Now you know the laws of the game, be the player and not the played, and dont waste another minute of your life

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Originally Posted by hyperultra

Not often in life someone will spell out the signs for you. I have some sisters, this was their advice to me...

SIGNS WOMAN IS NOT INTERESTED AND SHE SEE YOU AS A CLINGER
1)You ask to meet up with her and you get hesitation and never a firm time
Trust me if you are an A class young male Hollywood actor she will want to see you that night
2)You are paying for all meals and driving her everywhere and getting pretty much nothing in return apart from her company but no affection
3)You are doing something valuable for her that other guys not as desperate as you would never do...
eg doing her assignmemts, paying her rent, doing her house repairs, fixing her Visa application
4)She doesnt return texts in a prompt manner. Her keenness for you is directly proportional to how prompt she is at replying to her texts. Remember women check their phones every 10 minutes
5)She is secretive with her phone and she checks it often including when you are having dinner together. Her actual boyfriend sends her texts which she wants to reply to. Lol
6)She has a lot of expensive jewellery and handbags. You can be sure her family didnt buy these
7)She has special male friends who know a lot more about her than she has shared with you, and these 'friends' love meeting up with her
8)She has male flatmate (s)
9)Important days like your birthday you notice she doesnt make much effort - its all half assed. Sometimes she cant meet up with you on those days
10)A lot of days she is unavailable to see her and she is not working
11)After 6 months you havent met her family if they are in Sydney, and they dont know about you

In summary, a lady interested in you will make time to see you
When she sees you as boyfriend material and not a pushover, text conversations are fair - with her replying promptly and initiating contact

Now you know the laws of the game, be the player and not the played, and dont waste another minute of your life

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Best answer ....

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Originally Posted by hyperultra

Not often in life someone will spell out the signs for you. I have some sisters, this was their advice to me...

SIGNS WOMAN IS NOT INTERESTED AND SHE SEE YOU AS A CLINGER
1)You ask to meet up with her and you get hesitation and never a firm time
Trust me if you are an A class young male Hollywood actor she will want to see you that night
2)You are paying for all meals and driving her everywhere and getting pretty much nothing in return apart from her company but no affection
3)You are doing something valuable for her that other guys not as desperate as you would never do...
eg doing her assignmemts, paying her rent, doing her house repairs, fixing her Visa application
4)She doesnt return texts in a prompt manner. Her keenness for you is directly proportional to how prompt she is at replying to her texts. Remember women check their phones every 10 minutes
5)She is secretive with her phone and she checks it often including when you are having dinner together. Her actual boyfriend sends her texts which she wants to reply to. Lol
6)She has a lot of expensive jewellery and handbags. You can be sure her family didnt buy these
7)She has special male friends who know a lot more about her than she has shared with you, and these 'friends' love meeting up with her
8)She has male flatmate (s)
9)Important days like your birthday you notice she doesnt make much effort - its all half assed. Sometimes she cant meet up with you on those days
10)A lot of days she is unavailable to see her and she is not working
11)After 6 months you havent met her family if they are in Sydney, and they dont know about you

In summary, a lady interested in you will make time to see you
When she sees you as boyfriend material and not a pushover, text conversations are fair - with her replying promptly and initiating contact

By all means go out with women that arent interested. Occasionally good times can be had if she drops her boyfriend or is just bored. But have a lot of options so if one falls through you have a few other ladies to focus your fun with. Oneitis is the trap you need to avoid

Now you know the laws of the game, be the player and not the played, and dont waste another minute of your life

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Wow - a lot of these points are really spot on. Thank you. She definitely wasn't interested in me in this case

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Originally Posted by hyperultra

Not often in life someone will spell out the signs for you. I have some sisters, this was their advice to me...

SIGNS WOMAN IS NOT INTERESTED AND SHE SEE YOU AS A CLINGER
1)You ask to meet up with her and you get hesitation and never a firm time
Trust me if you are an A class young male Hollywood actor she will want to see you that night
2)You are paying for all meals and driving her everywhere and getting pretty much nothing in return apart from her company but no affection
3)You are doing something valuable for her that other guys not as desperate as you would never do...
eg doing her assignmemts, paying her rent, doing her house repairs, fixing her Visa application
4)She doesnt return texts in a prompt manner. Her keenness for you is directly proportional to how prompt she is at replying to her texts. Remember women check their phones every 10 minutes
5)She is secretive with her phone and she checks it often including when you are having dinner together. Her actual boyfriend sends her texts which she wants to reply to. Lol
6)She has a lot of expensive jewellery and handbags. You can be sure her family didnt buy these
7)She has special male friends who know a lot more about her than she has shared with you, and these 'friends' love meeting up with her
8)She has male flatmate (s)
9)Important days like your birthday you notice she doesnt make much effort - its all half assed. Sometimes she cant meet up with you on those days
10)A lot of days she is unavailable to see her and she is not working
11)After 6 months you havent met her family if they are in Sydney, and they dont know about you

In summary, a lady interested in you will make time to see you
When she sees you as boyfriend material and not a pushover, text conversations are fair - with her replying promptly and initiating contact

By all means go out with women that arent interested. Occasionally good times can be had if she drops her boyfriend or is just bored. But have a lot of options so if one falls through you have a few other ladies to focus your fun with. Oneitis is the trap you need to avoid

Now you know the laws of the game, be the player and not the played, and dont waste another minute of your life

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So true!
12) She only initiates contact with you when she needs you to do something for her.
13) You ask her out and she wants to bring a friend.

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Originally Posted by CunningLinguist

So true!
12) She only initiates contact with you when she needs you to do something for her.
13) You ask her out and she wants to bring a friend.

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Completely agree with 12. Holy shit - the advice in this thread is crazy good

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Originally Posted by rooter

Its all good bro.
You had a good time for 8 months: fucking, eating, drinking, sucking, kissing, licking ... beautiful ...
And now it's all over.
Relax.
She can go and see other people and you can go and see other people.
You've still got your health, your money, and your sanity ... you may not see this right now but you are the King of the World ... Enjoy!
In 2 years time you will be in a totally different space and mindset, and she will be a girl you fondly remember

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Got to say rooter you alway put things just they way they should be. I'm going through the whole ML thing and I'm having a ball but and a big but she will always be that a ML. I have made a bit of a mess of things but I've been fucking the hottest little Thai girl that I have ever seen. Yeah I know it won't last, yeah I know I've fucked up but man what a ride. It will be over soon and it will be one of the best memories of my life. But I won't do the whole leave the missus and take big dramatic life changes, just fuck them enjoy and move on, I've learnt my lesson and I am king of the world.

14)Next day she will never text you to thank you for the nice dinner or date or flowers. A woman who respects your efforts would do that
15)She only texts you AFTER you have texted her. There can be days before you hear from her
16)Often reminds you about things about you that annoy her. This is another bad sign
17)Any other signs that show she takes you for granted. This includes making NO effort to do nice things for you where SHE shows initiative. She may do it infrequently just so she can continue you string you along, but its only when she has to, for example your birthday; but even that feels half assed
18)She is not interested in finding commonalities between you, or finding out things that you like, and providing them. She lacks much interest at all in who you are

So, Hamish... Which one of the girls from Gerald St did this to you?! Deer, Mona, Ayu...?! Name and shame them!

Give us her name and where she work and i will roll her life like a bread roll like what she did to you ...